.Common 'bad news' we here regarding dating prospects;
- Every attractive woman is in high demand
- Every attractive woman has a vast harem of choices (thus if you don't fit x, y, z bill, tough shit)
The belief goes something like this; a) it's a mans's job to do the approaching, asking out etc. b) therefore all the woman has to do is pick the 'best applicant c) that women want x, y, z in a guy (this assumes that all women have the same tastes). If it were really as bleak as the manosphere made out, then why do we have this shear diversity of personality types that we enjoy today? Could you imagine living in a world where there was ONLY stereotypical 'alpha'-males?
There's offshoot beliefs like 'women get approached and hit on all the time'. It's this that I think needs to be looked-at & examined more closely.
There seems to be this idea floating around that if you're not x, y, z, it's all bleak and bad news, there's no hope, no-one will ever be attracted to you, there's always a 'bigger, better deal' right? How depressing & discouraging.
Disclaimer
This is not denying that *some* women are like that and this dynamic does apply to some and that there are examples.
Limiting beliefs, gospel truths, or a mixture of both? Lets think different
On the net you can only really find extremes of opinion. The reality is probably somewhere in the middle. I want to inject something less black-&-white
Some more helpful thoughts (what I'd rather focus on)
What if;
- A woman is really shy, her shyness can also get in the way of interactions going anywhere and could unintentionally give the impression that she's aloof
- Even if a woman gets approached a lot it doesn't necessarily mean it's by the types of guy they want, e.g. PUA types, drunk macho douchebags (contrary to popular belief, not all women and not all women who look a certain way want that type of guy), people have TASTES
- A woman's CIRCUMSTANCES will have a huge influence of how much opportunity she has to meet and be approached by guys, the type of social circle, how she hangs out, where she works
- There are women who genuinely want to be approached by good guys who want to get to know here, but here's a secret the manosphere won't tell you; sensitive guys are simply less likely to approach women in the first place, that's it!
- There are many women out there who are not interested in sleeping with just anybody or 'the highest bidder' for the sake of having sex or one-night stands
- Being approached a lot isn't always a good thing and doesn't always give an 'ego trip'; in some cases, especially if the approaching is aggressive or is an obvious 'hit-on' it can make women MORE RELUCTANT to be approached
- Even if a woman does get a lot of attention from male strangers, it doesn't necessarily mean she's not lonely or has an amazing social life
- Even if a woman appears to have lots of 'friends' and male company, it doesn't always mean she's not lonely; a common problem many women face (especially attractive ones) is men who they thought were her friends, who drop all contact when they discover she doesn't want to get romantically-involved (right away) with them
- Even if a woman does get sex, it doesn't always mean that she's any less lonely (evidence; there was a girl I was messaging on one of the social anxiety forums who's had sex but had never had a boyfriend, but felt very lonely and isolated)
If you are a single guy and feel discouraged by a lot of the rhetoric that you might hear from PUA and other manosphere communities, bear the above in mind. My aim with this thread is to a) shake-up a lot of the rigid thinking and b) give hope to guys who feel discouraged and arm them with knowledge and food for thought.
