If Your Woman Makes More Than You Do

[MrMan]

My wife has been kind of a stay at home mom. She does other things, but not usually that big into income-generation, except for several years there when I was in grad school.

Recently, she's been working on a land deal, and she might make a decent amount of money. My working a decent job has enabled her to do various other things. I'm not sensing any attitude from her about it. But I'm still thinking about what it would be like if she made more money than me. What if she started making lots and lots of money? What would that be like?

Ego-wise or whatever, I think I'd prefer to make more than she does, but I think I can handle it the other way around. I'm not saying I'd sacrifice financial resources for that preference.

My main concern in such a scenario would be how she can handle it. I've got a go-getter type wife who knows she should submit to her husband. But finances is one of those areas that serves as a reminder. If she's going to buy something that is a bit expensive, she knows to call me first and ask if it's okay. If she had loads of cash, that might not be an issue. Maybe I'd need another 'leash' to yank on, another reminder system to set up so she can remind herself whose boss. I might have to rely on verbal reminders and such, but that's kind of a drag.

In general, I think there are advantages to the man being the provider. My wife was a poor college student when I met her. She had food and clothing, etc., and was getting by on faith and answers to prayer. She'd had some small businesses set up, also, before she met me for a while to support herself, but they were time consuming and not doing as well as she'd liked. I paid back maybe $100 to a man from church who'd invested capital to help her get set up after I agreed to marry her. She considered that a debt that she wanted to settle, so I paid it on her behalf. (It beats marrying a girl with typical US student loan debt.) I was taking her out to eat places she couldn't afford before we dated.

We both moved into a new location to get married. That's fine, but I could see an advantage to a wife moving into his territory. It's his place. She's his wife. It could contribute to some (benevolent) male dominance in the relationship.

Any thoughts on one's wife (girlfriend) etc. earning as much as her man, more, or even becoming wealthy? Would you date a rich woman? I don't think a man having more money than a woman and even using that to keep her a bit dependent and in-line is harmful to a relationship. It's kind of in line with the natural order of things. But the other way around would be unhealthy. How do you keep the dominance up in a relationship when she goes from being financially dependent to independent or even making more than her husband?

This is probably a sub-optimal forum for discussing the relationship aspects of this, but a place for venting some of these ideas that are not considered politically correct.