What was dating like for men in Ancient Times?

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Winston
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What was dating like for men in Ancient Times?

Post by Winston »

I have a question. What was the dating scene like in ancient times, such as Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, The Middle Ages, etc? Or even Ancient China? Did the average man have many women to choose from? Or at least decent choices? Were average men able to get women for marriage or short term pleasure easily?

I would imagine women needed men in those days, especially since most of them were poor. So men probably had a lot of women to choose from, at least a lot more than in modern America, where every woman claims to be taken.

The documentaries I watched about the Roman Empire said that in Roman theaters, lots of women hung out there hoping to be picked up by men.

It also seems that flirtation was flattering to women throughout all of history. Women were flattered to be propositioned, even by men they rejected. It wasn't seen as taboo and violating, as modern American women see it. This means that modern America is a total aberration, totally abnormal and sick, when compared to all of human history.

Thus, not only is overseas better for dating, but ancient times were as well.

What do you think?
Last edited by Winston on March 6th, 2014, 3:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Teal Lantern
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Re: What was dating like for men in Ancient Times?

Post by Teal Lantern »

Winston wrote:I have a question. What was the dating scene like in ancient times, such as Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, The Middle Ages, etc? Or even Ancient China? Did the average man have many women to choose from? Or at least decent choices? Were average men able to get women for marriage or short term pleasure easily?
Depending on when and where, the average man might have been a slave or dying in some bullshit war.
So, if you managed to be alive and free and had the coin or status, you may have had some choices.
As far as the "decency" of those choices -- men were more likely to bond with their nephews than their sons, because at least you knew for sure your sister's children were related to you.

Winston wrote:I would imagine women needed men in those days, especially since most of them were poor. So men probably had a lot of women to choose from, at least a lot more than in modern America, where every woman claims to be taken.

The documentaries I watched about the Roman Empire said that in Roman theaters, lots of women hung out there hoping to be picked up by men.
Waiting for Senator Highstatusticus or Plinius the (Poonslaying) Playwright? Yes, and for free.
Winnus Watercloseticus, cleaner of the Colosseum toilets? Well, he'd better bring some denarius, if he wants to diddle.
Imagination is good, though. :razz:
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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momopi
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Post by momopi »

If you were wealthy, you might live in a "domus" estate, played with make-up and flirted with ladies by day, and humping female slaves (your latest purchase) at night:

Image



If you were poorer, you might have lived in an "insula", like low income apartment blocks built with wood and mud bricks which collapsed or caught fire to reduce the poor population by crushing them or burning them to death. Men from insula neighborhoods probably visited cheap brothels.

Image
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

Well I'm sure even if you were poor in ancient times, there were plenty of poor women to choose from at least.

There should have been a surplus of women too, because wars were a common occurrence and many men died in wars.

Also, flirtation was never a taboo in ancient times. Only in modern America is flirtation a taboo. It has always been seen as a normal thing that men do with women.

Am I right?
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Post by momopi »

Winston wrote:Well I'm sure even if you were poor in ancient times, there were plenty of poor women to choose from at least.
That depends on how poor you are, and the specific culture. See: Genesis 29:16-30 for example of Ketubah.
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Post by ancient »

When Mao’s communist juggernaut rolled over China, the country was vastly agrarian and much of its economic strength was shattered by years of civil war and foreign occupation.
Ancient China history
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Post by Winston »

Documentary on sex in Ancient Rome.

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Post by MrMan »

There were so many societies, it's hard to say.

I'd venture to guess most of them did not have modern 'dating' where a man takes a woman out alone to eat and do some recreational activity. In some societies, in a small town people would know each other from living in the same community, the houses near each other and the fields out of town. In a city, people in the same social circle would know each other. A man might fancy a teenage girl as she comes of age or a girl a bit older and ask her father if he could marry her. Or he might ask his dad to ask her dad. Or the parents might arrange it. There might be a bride price or dowry. Romans married with political position and family alliances in mind. Romans also had sex with their slaves. So did Muslim Arabs.

There were and are also societies where marrying your cousin is the first alternative. You'd know your cousin well from family gatherings. Sounds kind of gross. Marrying cousins went out of vogue over a hundred years ago in Anglo culture. The idea of marrying a cousin is gross to me.

In Romeo and Juliet, we see they had dances and balls where young men and women could get to know one another. By that time, there were competing philosophies on marriage. One was that the parents arrange it or at least the father of the bride allowed it. But the Roman Catholic Church had taken marriage out of the hands of families and claimed some rights over it, and that carried over in the English tradition. As long as a couple had a wedding ceremony with a priest they were married, and the English also accepted various promises of marriage between couples without the father of the bride's consent in their understanding of law.

If you were a traditionalist, you could interpret Romeo and Juliet to communicate the message that a young couple who fall in love and elope were foolish and could meet a fate like the two dead lovers at the end of the play. Or if you idealized romantic love, you could see it as a beautiful story of love-at-first sight and just find the ending sad, but well worth their love. I wonder if the astute among the crowd could see Shakespeare as depicting issues with traditional parentally-guided marriage and love marriage. You see the same conflict in Jane Austen movies (never read the books) where the fathers and other wealthy relatives want to control the young men's marriage choices, but the young men rebel or reject their control in the name of love. I actually don't like that aspect of her writing, though I do find marriage customs in those movies and movies about Dickens stories interesting.

In the age, a man would visit a woman by going to her father's house or going with a chaperon to an activity. He wasn't to be alone with her, and if he got her too emotionally invested in him, he would either regret it or else feel obligated to marry her because he had led her on. At least in the books, an honorable man was much more careful with a woman's heart than his is today. I don't like the rebellion against parents theme. I'm teaching my girls I'll either pick their husbands or approve them. :)
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