Is it possible to be happy all the time?

[Winston]

I have an interesting question. Is it possible for anyone to be happy all the time, even if they look happy all the time?

Are the people who always look happy and positive actually miserable deep down? Do they just maintain a facade to others, or is it possible to always be happy?

I would imagine that a person needs a balance of positive and negative emotions to balance each other out and be whole right? Isn't that the principle of the ying yang, the union of opposites?

If so, then does trying to be happy all the time create a "slingshot effect" where feelings of misery and emptiness will creep upon you out of nowhere, in order to balance out your emotional "ying yang" at least once in a while? Is that inevitable?

Is it really possible for someone to keep up a positive feed good happy attitude all the time? Or even 90 percent of the time? Even if everything in their life was going well and they got everything they want?

I don't know about other people, but I find that no matter what you have, disappointment and dissatisfaction always seem to creep up on you in some form. It's like life has to be some sort of struggle, even if you have no financial problems, or else it has no meaning, as if life were meant to be a struggle. So as soon as you take care of one problem, another one will come up in its place, even if it's only psychological in nature.

It's like life never allows you to maintain a state of being truly at peace in a blissful state where all your problems and worries are solved. It always throws something at you to make it a struggle, even if all your needs are taken care of, there's always something.

Plus our minds are always wanting what we don't have, and what's just out of reach. Hence our desires and needs are neverending.

What do you all think?

[lavezzi]

Each individual has a set amount of 'themselves' which they latch onto various aspects of the external world that will never be stable and therefore will always bring some degree of worry, stress and other forms of suffering. For example, if every single sexy, young girl in Taiwan woke up tomorrow and suddenly decided that Winston Wu is the hottest man alive and they want nothing more than for you to touch their smooth, sexy, white legs all day long, you would feel utter contentment for a short period, but then your mind would latch onto something else and you would cease to be satisfied. Humans are designed to place their attachments exclusively in one another within a tribal or family structure, which will deliver a true sense of contentment. But in the modern world, there are so many 'things' for one to latch onto that people are miserably living in ciclic existence chasing one inconstant thing after the next. You can cancel this out this process by thoroughly understanding it and controlling your thoughts which pertain to your attachments and compulsive desires, which is much easier said than done.

As for people who're positive 24/7, that is mostly an act. They want others to like them and believe that simply being positive is what will achieve that, which tends to work only if you're female.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Winston,
post landmark forum I have been "happy" the vast majority of the time. Naturally life throws at you things that it is simply not appropriate to be "happy" about. But that has nothing really to do with ones internal sense of "happiness" or feelings of self worth or self respect.

Most people confuse "happiness" with the more fleeting version of it that we really do not have a word to describe. I eat a nice meal and I am "happy". But that is hardly what I mean by "I am a happy man". It goes much deeper than that.

For example. When my former step son had cancer I was "unhappy" about that. When he said he wanted to quit and die I was "unhappy" about that. When I convinced him to fight for his own life I was "happy" about that. When I took him to the eifel tower and showed him the very spot from which I made the phone call that had him find the courage to fight for his life I was "happy" about that. That he is still above ground I am "happy" about.

But it goes much deeper and much further than that. I am almost obnoxiously happy all the time now. I even piss myself off some days but I am not quitting.

I can look back on my life and know, with certainty, that I have made many great contributions to many peoples lives. From the days of making steel that would make pipelines, buildings, oil rigs, ships that would do all sorts of useful things. Of bringing in foreign income in IBMs software lab. In helping Australian businesses be more competitive on the world stage. In helping to stop drugs coming into Australia. In teaching people my skills so they earn more and their families have a better life. To raising 4 children...alas two of which are not very nice.....to assisting at Landmark and touching the lives of more than 1000 people directly and personally.

Now? To writing "Living Free" and "Truth Be Told" that are the remedies for 400M MEN.

Not to mention writing my own software and being able to massively improve the business performance of any company that hires me.

Lastly. Meeting and spending time with my fav#1 and fav#3 were the most pleasant experiences of my life. I do not want another fav like either of those. I would not even bother trying.

What? Exactly? Is there for me to be unhappy about?

That I disowned my former children? That those I thought loved me betrayed me? Why would that make me "unhappy"? They are not worthy of MY presence..not the other way around.

The ONLY thing that will lead a man to the sort of enduring foundation of knowing his was a life well spent is for a man to maintain his integrity, his word, all his life.

I had a man work for me once. He felt no problem in breaking his word to me so he had to resign which he duly did.

At our last face to face meeting after he resigned I said to him...lets call him fred.

"Fred, I want to tell you this. I am very, very sorry for your two sons"

He asked why.

"They have a father who is not a man of honour or integrity. They have a father who is a liar, a man who will break his word. Those boys have no chance to grow up to be honest men of honour and integrity because they do not have a father who can show them and teach them how to be such. One day, you will see your sons lie. You will see them break their word. You will see they have no honour and no integrity. You will wonder how they came to be like that. Do not wonder. With a father like you? They stood no chance to turn out any other way."

Ouch....but he got it...he walked away with his head hung and he never, ever spoke to me again. He went into business with one of the other guys who resigned....three weeks later I got a call from two DIFFERENT head hunters who had ONE EACH of these new "business partners" looking for jobs. I laughed my arse off. They BOTH could not go into business with each other. I told the head hunters that BOTH were not honest men of honour or integrity and not to send them to any client that they wanted to keep.

The head hunters were like "Ouch...that is a very damning comment". I was the Professional Services Manager of the largest BI Consulting Group in Australia at the time so my word and warning carried a lot of weight.

If a man wants to be happy as he gets older? He never, ever compromises his integrity.....EVER.

[Billy]

Winston, I am happy that you try to find happiness. I think one should try to use ones brains to create happiness. The trick is not to get distracted by ego and things. You have to try to find a plan and to adjust the plan. Important is not to get too greedy or to be an angry know it all guy that is all about "true" and "freedom". Be pragmatic and also ask momopi

[Billy]

Peter, you know what they say: either you make compromises or die. Remember talk is cheap. Morals are only words. You don´t sound like a happy man. Rather a guy with bad memories which makes him sad.

Your advice is not really the path for happiness. They are just stories. Why don´t you come up with scientific methods?

[momopi]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/ ... ose-tinted

Note: sample size of 38 is pretty small, so don't read too much into it.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Peter, you know what they say: either you make compromises or die. Remember talk is cheap. Morals are only words. You don´t sound like a happy man. Rather a guy with bad memories which makes him sad.

Your advice is not really the path for happiness. They are just stories. Why don´t you come up with scientific methods?

Billy,
I never said that I don't make compromises. I said that I have found that the way for men to feel happy and satisfied with their lives is to NEVER compromise their INTEGRITY. If you compromise your integrity you are on a very slippery slope.

"Why don´t you come up with scientific methods?"

Why should I? I have quote Landmark Education as the place I got the best training. You can go and do the same training there. Why should I re-invent the wheel?

"You don´t sound like a happy man."

Put ONE quote from me here that could possibly be construed as indicating I am not a "happy man"...just one.

The problem western men have with me is that they are so brainwashed by their society that they can not conceive that I am happy. They look at what I say was done to me and think to themselves that in that position they would be very unhappy so I must be unhappy. They project their expected response on to me rather than listening to me.

On the other hand. Men in Germany just listen to what I say and take me at my word.

Essentially western men call me a liar in about the 99.9% majority because they can not conceive of a man like me. Most have never met a man like me so how could they conceive of man like me?

Example Billy. How many men do you PERSONALLY know who are willing to take on their guvments openly.

How many men do you PERSONALLY know who have done something like video a family court meeting and serve that on the Prime Minister to PROVE the criminality of the courts?

How many men do you PERSONALLY know who have declared entire guvments not legitimate and are progressing the creation of new courts to put all members of both houses in two countries on trial?

NONE, right?

So if you have NEVER met a man like that in your life? How the hell would you know what he was like? How the hell would you know if he was happy or not? And if he said he was happy and he has done those things? Why would you doubt him other than because you have no experience of such men?

I am very happy Billy. I nearly died 4 years ago by my own hand. Every day I have above ground is a good day. And lets not forget. The two women who were my most favourite favs gifted me an experience of a lifetime. EACH.

I was having a glass of wine over dinner last night with my best friend. I told him of an incident with fav#3. The most touching moment of our time together. His response was "Wow....that is not something you hear every day". He was very, very impressed at her comment.

Women like her? Any man would be VERY lucky to have his children with a woman like her....even if she is a little scatter brained. She has a good heart. But women with good hearts are so rare and it is so easy for an evil woman to fake that there is no point for most men to search for one.

I seem to have developed a talent for spotting women with good hearts via their eyes. I have no idea where this talent came from...it has only just happened this year.

Even so. I do not wish to find another woman and start another relationship...good heart or not. If my fav#1 does not wish to live out our lives together then I will live out my life alone. That's the plan.

I am very happy as I am.

Of course..plans change...it happens. Ms. Perfect might walk into the bar I plan to eat dinner in tomorrow night. Who knows?

PS...if there is one thing that I am slightly unhappy about it is the apathy or outright cowardice of men in Australia and Ireland. I had thought the hardest part of re-introducing the rule of law would be creating the cases so they were water tight. I thought that men, once presented with video evidence of a crime by a man pretending to be a magistrate, would then be shaken into action given the implications. That they actually DENY the video evidence has shocked me. And once they ACCEPT they video evidence and say "but if I sit on your new juries the judges and the cops might steal from me too" is even MORE shocking given the implications of such statements.

[Jackal]

I have an interesting question. Is it possible for anyone to be happy all the time, even if they look happy all the time?

It's certainly not possible for people who think in an ordinary way to be happy all the time. People who look for happiness outside themselves will inevitably be periodically disappointed because the external world will never do exactly what you want it to all the time. And even if it did, your ordinary mind will periodically get depressed and bored anyway.

I think the only people who can be happy all the time are very experienced Buddhist practioners (and perhaps those of other religions) who do long solitary retreats. Their meditations make them feel blissful all the time and because they are isolated from the world, nothing interrupts their bliss.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLiHVFT9 ... re=related[/youtube]

In contrast, even the Dalai Lama gets angry and sad from time to time, such as when he hears some new bad news about Tibet. The Dalai Lama would like to do more meditation retreats if he didn't have so many responsibilities.

Most of us don't want to go to such extremes, so just being happy MOST of the time is good enough, I think. And being happy most of the time is simply a result of doing many positive and useful actions.

[Billy]

Sorry Peter all I here are boring and sad stories for which I could care less. This Landmark forum seems to be a fight club style hyped up psycho mumbo jumbo shit.

Anyway who cares for your weird fights? The question was about happiness. Without scientific methods things get out of hand to a major vodoo mumbo jumbo

Happy people make other happy.
Happy people laugh a lot
Happy people use smilies

Sad people whine about government, other men, women and the whole universe

Use the KISS method like momopi

So where are your smilies?

[publicduende]

I have an interesting question. Is it possible for anyone to be happy all the time, even if they look happy all the time?

We can't be happy all the time in my opinion, Winston. Happiness is about being satisfied with what you have, or perceive you have, in the present. Since the present is transient and we are, as human beings, always prone to desire "something else" (or something more, or somethine better), the feeling of yearning will get us to move on and explore ways we can get that elusive something else. There's no escaping from this process. This is what makes the world spin and, to some extent, makes humanity evolve.

I see happiness as the business lounge in an airport: you can chillax on a nice glass of wine, put on your slippers and read a newspaper, look back at the miles you've flown and prepare for the path yet to fly. It's a transient feeling, and it should stay that way, if you ask me.

If we were happy all the time, we wouldn't even want to move away from that permanent state of happiness. As you surely know, in spiritual philosophy, infinite and permanent joy is associated with celestial beings: angels, wise spirits, perhaps God himself. in fact, according to some esoteric philosphy scholars, that's the very reason why we incarnate in the physical world: souls can't, or don't want to be happy and static forever, they want to exercise free will and play with its consequences, in this cosmic game called physical life. We are born to be happy in as much as we are born to suffer, and feel anger, stress, frustration, the full lot. The best thing of them all is that, contrary to what religions like to feed us with, nobody will ever judge us based on some pre-conceived definition of Good or Evil. This is why, I believe, it is so important to have an open mind and follow one's own desires in complete awareness and freedom, only paying attention not to hurt those people we really, really care about.

My 2 pence.

[polya]

No, not while we're bombarded by WiFi, fluoride, EMF, radiation...

[Twobrains]

Publicduende - beautifully put, totally agree.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Sorry Peter all I here are boring and sad stories for which I could care less. This Landmark forum seems to be a fight club style hyped up psycho mumbo jumbo shit.

Billy,
the question was about happiness. And the place where I found how to be happy FAR more of the time was the Landmark Curriculum for Living. I have personally done the forum three times for different reasons. I have assisted at Landmark for more than a year. I have had family and friends do it, including my former step son.

I would not be recommending it so highly if it was " a fight club style hyped up psycho mumbo jumbo shit."

If a man wants to be happy MUCH more of the time. I recommend he go do the whole curriculum for living.

I have had grown men hug me and cry on my shoulder for being the stand that they do the forum. For being willing to tell them about it.

As for "boring sad stories"...thats your opinion. Others have opinions of my "stories" as being of great value. Here is one such man.

http://www.instantbi.com/Support/AllFor ... fault.aspx

When I first met him I was intimidated because I thought this guy is a genius. I met him in London at a conference. I don´t know when it was the last time I laughed so much, but he was throwing one great story after another and just to make myself clear. We didn’t have the first Guiness when I was actually holding my stomach.

Let me tell you about Peter from a personal perspective. At some point he said to me „I will always take the time to tell a young man about life“ and boy did I think „man I don`t need that crap-talk“ – but I went to dinner with him anyway. And he proved me wrong. There might be guys who talk about life but there a actually some of them who know about life. Peter ist the second kind. If you have the chance to talk to him and enjoy a dinner conversation with him use it… you will benefit from it.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Billy,
I gave you a challenge to back up your comment. It was

"Put ONE quote from me here that could possibly be construed as indicating I am not a "happy man"...just one."

As far as I can tell? You didn't do it. Did you put it somewhere I didn't look?

[boycottamericanwomen]

What is this concept of "happiness" anyway? Transcend both happiness and suffering and remain fixed above the duality. That is what the Bhagavad-Gita says.

I don't really think in terms of "happiness" or "suffering" anymore.