The Nature of Love

[WilliamSmith]

Thank you. This was a good response and I am finding it hard to propose a rebuttal for the sake of debate. Love is indeed like life as you said, given the knowledge that one way or another it will inevitably end. But it isn't about the destination, I suppose, it's more about the journey and I must confess as I already stated that experiences shared with a significant other seem to be much more enhanced in quality.

I don't know if my love for my girlfriend will endure in 10 years. Or even in a year. What I do know is that she has been one of my best friends for the last decade and someone I've always vibed really well with. If things didn't work out with her I sincerely doubt I could move on and find another partner with whom I could share that deep a connection. In other words, my relationship now is an all or nothing kind of deal. If it can't endure with someone I've shared close bonds of friendship with for over ten years then in my opinion it won't be worth pursuing ever again. That's my thought on love at the moment.

As for soul mates, if they exist I'd say I found mine.

Well, thank you for appreciating my response. Possibly bordering the cheesy romantic (always count on an Italian for this kind of stuff LOL), but heartfelt and, at least as far as my life experience is concerned, aligned to "my" truth.

I literally had the best and the worst times of my life as consequences of falling for the right, or the not-so-right woman. The dark tragic event that befell me in 2011 was caused by a failed relationship that traced back to 2006, so dead and buried. Said woman was the vindictive type, she had nothing to lose and knew that I had everything to lose. I don't regret marrying my Colombian ex-wife and I don't regret marrying my current Filipina wife. I don't even regret most of the attempts at romance and love, no matter how seemingly useless and ultimately painful for either or both parties.

I can't speak for everybody, @Pixel--Dude, but, as far as I am concerned, no love given is love wasted.

@publicduende
Oh good, you're still alive: I heard from @Pixel--dude and @Lucas88 that someone called "Palo Alto Guy" or something like that had come back to the forum threatening to have you bumped off by Pinoy assassins, but I see you must have fought them all off when they tried to carry out the hit.

As for the topic, you guys were already very eloquent, but being a guy who loves women (and also owns over 100 80s-90s era "bodice ripper romance" novels LOL), I more agree with the romantics on this one. But I see it both ways because I'd be scared to make myself vulnerable to heartbreak in the same way as @Pixel--dude is doing by being so monogamously committed to this one special girl.
I don't have any personal rule against monogamy for me either, but being a ladies' man and enjoying so-called "polyamory" (not too crazy about that word, but getting it on with lots of women I definitely like ) frankly hedges your bets because the pain of having so much emotional investment in a relationship with just one woman isn't there, even there is still some romantic love involved, some disappointment when or if things don't work out, etc.

[Pixel--Dude]

When it comes to the topic of romantic love I have always been confused as to why people make this their main priority in life. Like this is the most important goal or objective. I think @Tsar is someone who holds this kind of love as an absolute priority, even though I have advised him to focus purely on himself.

The problem with exhaulting love as the highest priority and purpose to your life is that it is dependent entirely on a different person. You can't just keep hoping that someone will appear and make your wishes come true. Romantic love doesn't work like that. Real life doesn't give a shit about your dreams and aspiration.

It is much better to focus on yourself, to put aspirations and purpose which revolves purely around the self as priority. Romantic love should always be a conditional priority. If it comes along and happens naturally then you can surrender to it and make it a priority in your life. But otherwise you shouldn't sit around waiting for it to happen. That can cause problems. Focus on your self development and creative pursuits. One should hold these with highest regard when it comes to purpose.