Less sex? Feminised men are too busy fixing their hair

[firethrower1000]

Last updated: February 17th, 2010

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/tobyy ... no-to-sex/

According to a report in today’s Daily Mail, a quarter of British women over 35 say they “never� have sex. The figure rises to 38 per cent in Scotland, while women in the Midlands are most likely to have sex regularly, with 32 per cent claiming they make love once a week.

Could the explanation be that men’s libidos aren’t what they used to be? No, according to the Mail. It was ever thus. It cites a new book called The Sex Starved Wife by American author Michele Weiner Davis. “As a society, we’ve perpetuated this myth about the ever-turned-on-male,� says Weiner Davis. “But all my research suggests that the differences between the genders aren’t as great as we’ve been led to believe.�

I’m not so sure. I think the male libido is in decline — and I blame the feminisation of men that has taken place over the past 15 years or so. Like most trends, this one began in America and has now crossed the Atlantic. I remember being shocked on first entering the bathroom of an American male in 1995. There, carefully lined up on a stainless steel shelf, was a larger array of beauty products than you’d expect to see in Cheryl Cole’s boudoir. Admittedly, this was a sophisticated New Yorker in his mid-30s — a metrosexual, if you will — but even so. Did he really have to go to bed every night wearing a mask of Kiehl’s Facial Fuel? It seemed extraordinary.

Fifteen years later, it is now the norm. British men in their twenties spend a small fortune on cosmetic products. Back in the eighties, we would have been worried about being called “gay� if we used fake tan, but that fear has gone the way of the Sinclair C5. When I find myself in the West End on a Friday night, I see young men who have clearly spent as much time getting ready as your average woman. And I’m not just talking about Old Compton Street.

At the risk of sounding like a Grumpy Old Man, I do find this trend pretty reprehensible. Vain women are bad enough, but there’s nothing more pathetic than a vain man. In Shakespeare’s plays, over-attention to dress is always the hallmark of a fool, from Osric’s bonnet to Malvolio’s garters. Since the dawn of time, manliness has always been synonymous with a complete indifference to personal grooming. It’s not simply that real men don’t eat quiche; they don’t moisturise, either.

Surely, it is this gender reversal — with men becoming more like women as women become more like men — that accounts for the decline in male sexual desire. It is hard to imagine a metrosexual throwing a woman over his shoulders and marching off into the primeval forest — he’d be too worried about messing up his hair.

I’m currently reading a book called Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism by the feminist writer Natasha Walter. She believes contemporary British women have recently taken a step backwards and begun to embrace sexual identifies — personified by glamour models like Jordan — that demean and degrade them. She sees this as evidence of a creeping misogyny, with men and women reverting to patriarchal sexual stereotypes:

It is still women who are dieting or undergoing surgery on their bodies; still women stripping in the clubs while the men chant and cheer; still women, not men, who believe that their ability to reach for fame and success will be defined by how closely they conform to one narrow image of sexuality. If this is the new sexual liberation, it looks too uncannily like the old sexism to convince many of us that that this is the freedom we have sought.

I don’t dispute her data, but I think her theory’s all wrong. When young women engage in sexually provocative behaviour, wearing short skirts, flashing their boobs, and so forth, they are not trying to please men. On the contrary, it’s a form of brutal triumphalism. Having won the battle of the sexes, leaving men broken and emasculated, women are now rubbing our faces in it by parading about in outfits that, not so long ago, might have triggered a sexual response. Hardly surprising, then, that 35 per cent of British women aren’t getting any. I’m amazed that 65 per cent still are.

[dano]

I lived in england for two years and I know why the men there arn't having sex with there wives. I only saw a handful good looking english women the entire time I was there. Most of the time they are really scary looking! However, you can read these links, they support what your saying. Lots of feminized men in japan.

http://www.slate.com/id/2220535/

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world ... 04155.html

[firethrower1000]

I lived in england for two years and I know why the men there arn't having sex with there wives. I only saw a handful good looking english women the entire time I was there. Most of the time they are really scary looking! However, you can read these links, they support what your saying. Lots of feminized men in japan.

http://www.slate.com/id/2220535/

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world ... 04155.html

just look at this guy taking ten whole minutes for a hairstyle and he clearely looks like a beautifull girl which is a shame

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW3jK2Fd2-Y

[ErikHeaven]

A tenant in my building looks just like that guy on youtube EFFEMINATE. I wonder when that trend started taking hold with some young asian men worrying about their hair like that?
I wonder what do the older generation think about them.
I think its over the top.

[ErikHeaven]

In Japan some call them herbivores, and on Saturday nights they come out to graze: a perfumed army of preening masculinity. Groomed and primped, hair teased to peacock-like perfection and bodies wrapped in tight-fitting clothes, their habitat is the crowded city where they live in fear of commitment, and the odd carnivorous female who preys on them.

For much of this decade, the older men who drove this country to the top of the economic league tables have looked on in bewilderment at the foppish antics of the generation below.

Japan's twenty- and thirtysomething males seem disinterested in careers and apathetic about the rituals of dating, sex and marriage. They spend almost as much on cosmetics and clothes as women, live with their mums and sit down on the toilet when they pee. Some have even been known to wear bras. "What is happening to the nation's manhood?" wonders social critic Takuro Morinaga. The Nation it seems needs counseling ErikHeaven.

[The_Adventurer]

Take it as a good thing. We could go to Japan and clean up! There must be so many available and frustrated women out there!

[BellaRuth]

Fifteen years later, it is now the norm. British men in their twenties spend a small fortune on cosmetic products. Back in the eighties, we would have been worried about being called “gay� if we used fake tan, but that fear has gone the way of the Sinclair C5. When I find myself in the West End on a Friday night, I see young men who have clearly spent as much time getting ready as your average woman. And I’m not just talking about Old Compton Street.

Outside of London this is rare actually. I only know one 'metrosexual' and he is a London boy. He doesn't wear fake tan or anything crazy but knows an insane amount about shoes and designer labels and I have trouble believing he's hetero.

British men are still pretty paranoid about looking gay for the most part. The only men I see using beauty products and fake tan are very 'out' gays, and there's a lot of them, but most straight men would be terrified to look remotely feminine (excepting those emo-teens that have started up with skinny jeans and fringes). Men like designer goods and looking smart, they will wear their best clothes out to a club on a weekend and try to look polished, but cosmetics? Too far.

Please treat the Daily Mail with caution. It's quoted here like the Bible, which I can understand as it's a very conservative anti-feminist paper so gives out a lot of suitable material, but it's a tabloid (like a daily magazine) and shouldn't really be treated as a proper newspaper. It's got a very jokey reputation over here with nicknames such as 'Daily Fail' and 'Daily Moan'- fun to read but not an accurate choice and probably the most agenda-ridden/biased out there. It's thought of as a middle-class bored housewives' magazine and not a serious source.

I’m currently reading a book called Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism by the feminist writer Natasha Walter. She believes contemporary British women have recently taken a step backwards and begun to embrace sexual identifies — personified by glamour models like Jordan — that demean and degrade them. She sees this as evidence of a creeping misogyny, with men and women reverting to patriarchal sexual stereotypes:

Loving this. I'm going to think about this one. It's very true.

I lived in england for two years and I know why the men there arn't having sex with there wives. I only saw a handful good looking english women the entire time I was there. Most of the time they are really scary looking!

Dano, where on earth did you live? I've been meaning to ask this for a while.

I know the kind of women you are on about, but I'm surprised at the extent you mention.

From what I've seen apart from the really deprived areas where people actively try to look like they don't care and live on chips all day, I can't see how it's quite that bad. I was tempted to just go out today and take some random pics of all the normal, thin, pretty girls in summer dresses to see if I have something terribly wrong with my eyesight. And again, I'm concerned this will come across as defensive, but I'm genuinely puzzled. We do have a large population of slobs who seem to pride themselves on repulsiveness alone, but in most places they're not the majority, and there's plenty to look at that can be appreciated (as quite a few non-UK men have told me, too).

If it was just a sweeping statement, ignore

[ErikHeaven]

Yep i would be fun to screw some japanese women. They love the brothers too.

[TRADER1972]

Take it as a good thing. We could go to Japan and clean up! There must be so many available and frustrated women out there!

LMAO! But I read a story online about 2 yrs ago that the younger Japanese women are consumed with shopping. Can anyone verify that they prefer a handbag to getting nailed good?

[keius]

Take it as a good thing. We could go to Japan and clean up! There must be so many available and frustrated women out there!

LMAO! But I read a story online about 2 yrs ago that the younger Japanese women are consumed with shopping. Can anyone verify that they prefer a handbag to getting nailed good?

Offer them an LV bag or a good looking boytoy. They'll prob take the LV. I'm told that this hasn't changed. Or...that's how it used to be years ago. I'm pretty sure it still applies to Japanese women...just not sure about Japanese girls.

It's really hard for me to relate to effeminate guys more interested in hair and clothing than women. For me, that'd still be a sign of being "gay". I"m old school ok?

The only rational that makes sense to me is that maybe guys are simply bored of banging the same woman, vanilla style sex, for years on end.