The Male Hunger For Shallow Relationships

[Taco]

As you surround yourself with stable, desirable women(foreign women) your desire for a long term, stable relationship with one woman will increase.

The Male Hunger For Endless Shallow Relationships Is A Symptom Of A Fundamentally Broken Society
http://mavericktraveler.com/the-male-hu ... damage.com

You can watch this video if you've already given up on women.

[The_Adventurer]

I have a question relating to this issue.

This question is for posters like Marcos Zeitola, or Adama and others who seem to be very family oriented. They appear, at least, to put forth the idea that a man has a responsibility to take care of a wife and bring children into this world. They seem to write from the perspective that this is something a man should do. This leads to my question:

Now let’s say that, like the man in the video above, you have this specimen who has “his shit together”. He has a house that is paid off, no student loans, or debts of any kind. He has a solid career, maybe a good job or entrepreneurial endeavour, or both. Basically he has built the idea life for himself. So the question: What is the benefit to this man should he bring a wife and children into this life he has built for himself?

That is the question.

Now let me state some examples I can clearly see. If you are a poor Asian man, many countries in the region do not have social security or systems to care for the elderly like in western countries. You have heard the saying, “Your children are your retirement.” This man will have a few children, who will build up lives for themselves and they will, in turn, care for him in his old age. This is a very clear benefit for this man to have children. He has also created more young workers for the workforce, who will pay taxes, so there may be benefits for the government and business as well.

If you are a farmer, there is a clear benefit to having children, especially boys, who will grow up to help out on the farm. This is common. Many of these men are now importing brides from poorer countries, like Vietnam or Philippines, in the case of Chinese or Korean farmers, and there may not even be any love in the relationship. Her job is to spit out children to help out on the farm in the future. The benefit, however, can be clearly seen.

But what about other cases?

The nuclear family as we know it is primarily an offshoot of the industrial revolution. A man would go work in his factory for 8 - 12 hours everyday and the home and family was meant to be an escape from the rigours of said work. The wife was to provide a pleasant environment in which the man might recharge, during his off time, and prepare for the next day or week of work.

The thing is, the jobs that men were doing in these cases were largely meaningless. Sure, someone standing in that spot in the factory played an important role in greasing the machinery of society at large, and contributed to industries such as steel, cars, or trains, but it didn’t really matter who was standing there. One man was just as capable as another. There was no direct benefit to the man who stood in that spot. The only reason for the man to be there was his salary.

For this reason, the job was something a man couldn’t wait to get out of. Retirement was the pie in the sky. He will have pad his dues, put in him time, and then, in old age, can finally do something he wants to do.

But what about in the modern age?

Because of technology and the internet, it is now possible for a man to create his own work. There is also great variety in jobs and careers available. He no longer has to live in the town where the factories are, he can live anywhere he chooses. He can spend months in different countries. He can be a digital nomad, a traveling writer. He can live in a place which is not of his origin. He can create and do work he wants to do. No more will be the need for watching the clock and waiting for the bell to toll. He is not thinking about retirement. Like most creators, artists, writers, musicians, animators, game developers, you do the thing you love until the day you die.

So if this modern man has achieved all these things, creating the perfect work and life for himself, what is the benefit to this man should he bring a wife and children into it.

It is clear to see what he might stand to lose.

Because of ties to the woman’s family, he may lose time to birthdays, funerals, holidays and other events that he will be expected to attend, even if he would rather be working. Because of the children’s need for education, he may be stuck living in one place, where the best schools are, even if he hates that town, or would prefer to live a few months in different places. He may no longer be able to attend trade shows and other events in his industry because of conflicting schedules and family obligations. All of this could actually be bad for business.

So what benefit does the wife and children bring that would make it worth all that he would have to give up?

[Banano]

"If American guys are always busy hitting on women all over American cities such as New York, Chicago, Miami, Washington DC or Los Angeles, then why aren’t Ukrainian guys busy trying to do the same with Ukrainian women in Kiev, Odessa and Kharkov?"

This guy talks shit when he says that Am men are always busy hitting on women. It only happens in clubs and bars and most guys dont approach in those places. Same is true for other cities,local guys dont approach random women.

Things are different when you are tourist going to poorer country where you are perceived as high value men

[HouseMD]

I have a question relating to this issue.

This question is for posters like Marcos Zeitola, or Adama and others who seem to be very family oriented. They appear, at least, to put forth the idea that a man has a responsibility to take care of a wife and bring children into this world. They seem to write from the perspective that this is something a man should do. This leads to my question:

Now let’s say that, like the man in the video above, you have this specimen who has “his shit together”. He has a house that is paid off, no student loans, or debts of any kind. He has a solid career, maybe a good job or entrepreneurial endeavour, or both. Basically he has built the idea life for himself. So the question: What is the benefit to this man should he bring a wife and children into this life he has built for himself?

That is the question.

Now let me state some examples I can clearly see. If you are a poor Asian man, many countries in the region do not have social security or systems to care for the elderly like in western countries. You have heard the saying, “Your children are your retirement.” This man will have a few children, who will build up lives for themselves and they will, in turn, care for him in his old age. This is a very clear benefit for this man to have children. He has also created more young workers for the workforce, who will pay taxes, so there may be benefits for the government and business as well.

If you are a farmer, there is a clear benefit to having children, especially boys, who will grow up to help out on the farm. This is common. Many of these men are now importing brides from poorer countries, like Vietnam or Philippines, in the case of Chinese or Korean farmers, and there may not even be any love in the relationship. Her job is to spit out children to help out on the farm in the future. The benefit, however, can be clearly seen.

But what about other cases?

The nuclear family as we know it is primarily an offshoot of the industrial revolution. A man would go work in his factory for 8 - 12 hours everyday and the home and family was meant to be an escape from the rigours of said work. The wife was to provide a pleasant environment in which the man might recharge, during his off time, and prepare for the next day or week of work.

The thing is, the jobs that men were doing in these cases were largely meaningless. Sure, someone standing in that spot in the factory played an important role in greasing the machinery of society at large, and contributed to industries such as steel, cars, or trains, but it didn’t really matter who was standing there. One man was just as capable as another. There was no direct benefit to the man who stood in that spot. The only reason for the man to be there was his salary.

For this reason, the job was something a man couldn’t wait to get out of. Retirement was the pie in the sky. He will have pad his dues, put in him time, and then, in old age, can finally do something he wants to do.

But what about in the modern age?

Because of technology and the internet, it is now possible for a man to create his own work. There is also great variety in jobs and careers available. He no longer has to live in the town where the factories are, he can live anywhere he chooses. He can spend months in different countries. He can be a digital nomad, a traveling writer. He can live in a place which is not of his origin. He can create and do work he wants to do. No more will be the need for watching the clock and waiting for the bell to toll. He is not thinking about retirement. Like most creators, artists, writers, musicians, animators, game developers, you do the thing you love until the day you die.

So if this modern man has achieved all these things, creating the perfect work and life for himself, what is the benefit to this man should he bring a wife and children into it.

It is clear to see what he might stand to lose.

Because of ties to the woman’s family, he may lose time to birthdays, funerals, holidays and other events that he will be expected to attend, even if he would rather be working. Because of the children’s need for education, he may be stuck living in one place, where the best schools are, even if he hates that town, or would prefer to live a few months in different places. He may no longer be able to attend trade shows and other events in his industry because of conflicting schedules and family obligations. All of this could actually be bad for business.

So what benefit does the wife and children bring that would make it worth all that he would have to give up?

Well, if you're not a sociopath, you can derive satisfaction from the relationship you have with other human beings, not just those things which directly benefit or bring pleasure to yourself. Love for your wife and children is a satisfying experience that, for most men, is beyond what a mere career can provide. Your website isn't going to share your joys and heartaches, greet you cheerfully when you go home, or visit you in the hospital when you are ill. If you do not derive satisfaction from deep interpersonal relationships, a wife and children will not be of benefit to your life.

I work to live, I don't live to work- the things I derive pleasure from are not activities that I can make an income from. I enjoy spending time with friends and loved ones, traveling without responsibility, sex, and the like. I do derive some personal satisfaction from my training, but it is far less than the satisfaction I gain from other aspects of my life, and there is no career that could provide me with greater satisfaction than my deep and long-term interpersonal relationships. Those I care about are more important to me than my personal freedom to wander and work when and how I please.

[The_Adventurer]

So what benefit does the wife and children bring that would make it worth all that he would have to give up?

You never responded to this thread again, but something came to me; I remember you yourself are married and have a child, right? In China, I believe. What benefit would you say this has given you?

Well, I was hoping more people would chime in with their answers. Anyway, thank you, and also thanks to HouseMD for taking to time to contribute your thoughts to this question.

As for my wife and daughter, I could probably write a long list of benefits, but I'll stick to some basics.

My wife is a phenomenal cook, and has both kept me healthy and saved us a lot of money over my eating out. My extended family, especially my mother-in-law and uncle, are just great people. I really lucked out in that department. My wife's hometown. This is a place I would have never heard of were it not for meeting her.I get to live out in the most beautiful country, with clean air and water. It is also very cheap. When we go to Grandmother's place, she grows her own vegetables, raises pigs, chickens etc. and we eat the most fresh and natural food possible.

The time and energy normally wasted chasing women can now be put to more productive endeavours.

My daughter is 2 years old now, and talking more, which is a laugh a minute. No matter how bad a day I've had, one smile from her and it all fades away.

I will write more, with some of my specific responses to your detailed post later.

[IraqVet2003]

As you surround yourself with stable, desirable women(foreign women) your desire for a long term, stable relationship with one woman will increase.

The Male Hunger For Endless Shallow Relationships Is A Symptom Of A Fundamentally Broken Society
http://mavericktraveler.com/the-male-hu ... damage.com

You can watch this video if you've already given up on women.

Hey Taco, I think this is one of the best videos I have seen on youtube.com. I myself I'm a 42 years old man who has NEVER BEEN MARRIED and HAS NO CHILDREN. Nor am I "playing the dating game". I certainly wish people would stop judging us single men in America for not pursuing marriage and family as being "gay", "weird", a "loser", not a "real man", etc. While not applying the same standard against women. After all, we men have just as much right to choose and pursue our own happiness as anyone else.

[HouseMD]

As you surround yourself with stable, desirable women(foreign women) your desire for a long term, stable relationship with one woman will increase.

The Male Hunger For Endless Shallow Relationships Is A Symptom Of A Fundamentally Broken Society
http://mavericktraveler.com/the-male-hu ... damage.com

You can watch this video if you've already given up on women.

Hey Taco, I think this is one of the best videos I have seen on youtube.com. I myself I'm a 42 years old man who has NEVER BEEN MARRIED and HAS NO CHILDREN. I certainly wish people would stop judging us single men in America for not pursuing marriage and family as being "gay", "weird", a "loser", not a "real man", etc. While not applying the same standard against women. After all, we men have just as much right to choose and pursue our own happiness as anyone else.

Most single women in their 40s also get flak for being spinsters or crazy cat ladies. Society doesn't like single people older than 36 or so.