Stop Assuming One Size Culture Fits All

[Dragon]

So I was reading this silly, drama-filled thread:

viewtopic.php?t=16967&start=15


And something caught my eye:

I've heard on more than one occasion that in your culture [in the Philippines], lying isn't taken as seriously as it is elsewhere. Is there truth to that? Right now, I don't know, but I'm not prepared to assume that it is not (or that it is). I assume nothing. I go where the evidence (including anecdotal stuff that I read on more than one occasion) takes me. I would have to be a major fool to hear a few good things and then assume that all is as it seems.

I'm not personally criticizing any one person, but I want to bring up that this line of thinking is extremely faulty. It is a very common line of thinking--one that I use to be afflicted with. Everyone and their uncle is afflicted with this. It is most common in those who lack the experiences of other cultures and of traveling abroad. It is entirely unfair to classify an entire country that way. The fact is, there is no unifying culture of behavior for an entire country, especially one with as large a population the Philippines. The only exception is of course if the country is small and has a very small population (but who cares about those countries? ).

In the USA, there are vast differences in culture and behaviors depending on the region you are in. If you are in Beverly Hills or Sunnyville, it's going to be very status focused and materialistic. If you're in New York, the people will generally be very cold and unfriendly towards you. If you're in Detroit, MI or Gary, IN, people will knife you in broad daylight for a few dollars. And if you're in a state like South Carolina, people are generally warm and hospitable relative to other parts of the US. If a European tourist comes to the US and vacations in a shitty city, he's going to have a bad time and make blanket statements about the entire country when he leaves.Experiences and evaluations of a country depend entirely on where you are and what you are doing.

You have to be careful of things you read as "anecdotal" evidence online about other countries. If you are the typical tourist in the PH, you are going to end up in a major city like Angeles or Manila, notorious places known for crime and sex tourism. Most tourists visiting any country always visit the major cities/resorts and never anywhere else for some reason. The likelihood of you being scammed/robbed increases, and then when it happens, you log onto your blog or expat forum and whine "wah wah PH is so dangerous and the people are shady!" The typical tourist isn't very smart. Neither are all the people who read such posts and fully accept them. Then we have other "gentlemen" whose entire existence there is to live and breath bar girls and surround themselves with financially-destitute women, then wonder why they can't find a nice girl without being treated as wallet. What do you expect when you live in a notorious fleshspot like Angeles City (cough* Winston cough*)?

You know what real, smart gentlemen do to get quality girls? They use their brains and do not compromise themselves. Take our long-time poster, Outwest, for example. This classy guy married a University-educated female engineer in the Philippines. That already makes him a cut above the rest. You know how he did it? He approached his future (now current) wife in a motherf***ing suit. Then he politely and carefully went through all her appropriate family channels and protocols during the courting and sealed the deal with some god damn expensive bottle of champagne to her father. That's James Bond classy yo.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys out there that don't use their brains and are unjustifiably and extremely negative towards women. We know, Western women are bad. Get over it. They take every chance and opportunity to justify their negativity, fear, and inaction. This is what Outwest tried to point out in a thread he started, to address all the bitterness and "monkey spanking." It's easier for them to assume that all people (including the women) in a particular country are liars and cheats, even if they never went there and spent any reasonable amount of time exploring in depth to see if it's true. That way they don't have to take any risks and thus avoid getting hurt. It's unfortunately a very commonly human thing to do. It's something that I use to do. I think if someone wants any shot at a fulfilling life in these chaotic times, they need to break free from the mental pitfalls and negativity that surrounds everyone else.

[Maker55]

You can complain and vent too much but....

If there wouldn't have been any complaining, then this website wouldn't exist.

The problem isn't so much with western women but it's the feminism that has poisoned them........which doesn't make western women the problem, right?

There needs to be a healthy balance of venting AND finding solutions.

[Jackal]

Experiences and evaluations of a country depend entirely on where you are and what you are doing.

...You have to be careful of things you read as "anecdotal" evidence online about other countries.

Yes, I couldn't agree more! Great post, Dragon!

You are right that lots of guys pass around a lot of BS anecdotes about countries and then many other guys take them way too seriously!

However, some trends in people's behavior or thinking can be accurate, but people need to remember that they are just trends which will always have exceptions.

For example, most Americans dislike learning foreign languages seriously. This is quite clear, but of course there are some Americans (like a few of us here) who are very interested in foreign languages.

[abcdavid01]

This is true. That's why before I found here I was simply focusing on moving to a different part of the U.S. Unfortunately, Texas won't secede.

[Dragon]

However, some trends in people's behavior or thinking can be accurate, but people need to remember that they are just trends which will always have exceptions.

For example, most Americans dislike learning foreign languages seriously. This is quite clear, but of course there are some Americans (like a few of us here) who are very interested in foreign languages.

Yes, generalities should be taken into consideration. All Asian cultures, for example, have things in common no matter where you go, you have to watch out for. I'm more peeved at the people who use those generalities to dismiss an entire country and justify their fear and inaction of not going. Then they move out to another post complaining about women.

[skateboardstephen]

You can't just get off the plan and have a blast.You still have to have a game plan and know the language,culture and history like the back of your hand or you end up with the bar girls and gold diggers and what ever else.

[seoulbro]

I post on an Asian Canadian Forum and we got this f***ing white guy who always says that East Asian countries should copy Europe's failed example. Let's see Korea, Taiwan, Singapore have positive growth rates, manageable debt levels and large sovereign wealth funds unlike irresponsible European countries. Maybe Europe should incorporate Confucian values.

[abcdavid01]

I post on an Asian Canadian Forum and we got this f***ing white guy who always says that East Asian countries should copy Europe's failed example. Let's see Korea, Taiwan, Singapore have positive growth rates, manageable debt levels and large sovereign wealth funds unlike irresponsible European countries. Maybe Europe should incorporate Confucian values.

I read this in a book on China, people over there wait and save until they can make a 75% down payment before buying a car and house. Now in the West we have $99 down payments on cars and loads of people defaulting on 30+ year mortgages. Just use the credit card!

[ILoveBlackAmericanWomen]

So I was reading this silly, drama-filled thread:

viewtopic.php?t=16967&start=15


And something caught my eye:

I've heard on more than one occasion that in your culture [in the Philippines], lying isn't taken as seriously as it is elsewhere. Is there truth to that? Right now, I don't know, but I'm not prepared to assume that it is not (or that it is). I assume nothing. I go where the evidence (including anecdotal stuff that I read on more than one occasion) takes me. I would have to be a major fool to hear a few good things and then assume that all is as it seems.

I'm not personally criticizing any one person, but I want to bring up that this line of thinking is extremely faulty. It is a very common line of thinking--one that I use to be afflicted with. Everyone and their uncle is afflicted with this. It is most common in those who lack the experiences of other cultures and of traveling abroad. It is entirely unfair to classify an entire country that way. The fact is, there is no unifying culture of behavior for an entire country, especially one with as large a population the Philippines. The only exception is of course if the country is small and has a very small population (but who cares about those countries? ).

In the USA, there are vast differences in culture and behaviors depending on the region you are in. If you are in Beverly Hills or Sunnyville, it's going to be very status focused and materialistic. If you're in New York, the people will generally be very cold and unfriendly towards you. If you're in Detroit, MI or Gary, IN, people will knife you in broad daylight for a few dollars. And if you're in a state like South Carolina, people are generally warm and hospitable relative to other parts of the US. If a European tourist comes to the US and vacations in a shitty city, he's going to have a bad time and make blanket statements about the entire country when he leaves.Experiences and evaluations of a country depend entirely on where you are and what you are doing.

You have to be careful of things you read as "anecdotal" evidence online about other countries. If you are the typical tourist in the PH, you are going to end up in a major city like Angeles or Manila, notorious places known for crime and sex tourism. Most tourists visiting any country always visit the major cities/resorts and never anywhere else for some reason. The likelihood of you being scammed/robbed increases, and then when it happens, you log onto your blog or expat forum and whine "wah wah PH is so dangerous and the people are shady!" The typical tourist isn't very smart. Neither are all the people who read such posts and fully accept them. Then we have other "gentlemen" whose entire existence there is to live and breath bar girls and surround themselves with financially-destitute women, then wonder why they can't find a nice girl without being treated as wallet. What do you expect when you live in a notorious fleshspot like Angeles City (cough* Winston cough*)?

You know what real, smart gentlemen do to get quality girls? They use their brains and do not compromise themselves. Take our long-time poster, Outwest, for example. This classy guy married a University-educated female engineer in the Philippines. That already makes him a cut above the rest. You know how he did it? He approached his future (now current) wife in a motherf***ing suit. Then he politely and carefully went through all her appropriate family channels and protocols during the courting and sealed the deal with some god damn expensive bottle of champagne to her father. That's James Bond classy yo.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys out there that don't use their brains and are unjustifiably and extremely negative towards women. We know, Western women are bad. Get over it. They take every chance and opportunity to justify their negativity, fear, and inaction. This is what Outwest tried to point out in a thread he started, to address all the bitterness and "monkey spanking." It's easier for them to assume that all people (including the women) in a particular country are liars and cheats, even if they never went there and spent any reasonable amount of time exploring in depth to see if it's true. That way they don't have to take any risks and thus avoid getting hurt. It's unfortunately a very commonly human thing to do. It's something that I use to do. I think if someone wants any shot at a fulfilling life in these chaotic times, they need to break free from the mental pitfalls and negativity that surrounds everyone else.

Very very true.