Why does God keep TRAPPING me in Taiwan for years against my free will?!

[Winston]

f**k man. I just realized ive lost four years of my life in taiwan. In 2010 i was stuck here for a year, then again in 2012 and then again in 2016. And now in 2020 i lost another year too. Thats four years wasted here. God f**k! What the f**k is god doing? Why does he want me to stay in a miserable soulless repressed place where im uncomfortable and miserable? It pisses me off like crazy. im tired of cussing at God. Why does he do that? For what logical reason? Its against my will. Where the f**k is my free will?!

If it wasnt for my parents id never come here. Ever. Such a miserable place with NO FREEDOM at all. If u see a girl u like u cant talk to her or approach her without feeling like a creep or criminal. If u try u will feel a cold chill down your spine because its not allowed and is a social taboo which u can feel instinctively. U cant talk to strangers or have fun or get wild or be yourself or connect with others or talk to others. Nothing. Its a total prison. I cant do anything. My hands are tied 24/7. I'm miserable and uncomfortable every f***ing moment!

What the f**k are you doing God??!! What do you want???!!! Can someone ask the universe what it wants from me? And why it wont let me go?! I cant believe such a miserable soulless repressed zombie like place like this exists! A total hellhole! Why do the gods allow such a hell to exist like Taiwan where if u are not a zombie then u are a freak? Its weirder than the twilight zone!

How does anyone stand taiwan or tolerate it? I dont friggin get it. How does rock or monkro not feel any negative or awkward or suffocating vibes here? I don't get it. Impossible. This has got to be the most MISERABLE place on earth. I swear. Totally spirit killing and soul killing and confidence killing. You cant do anything. Not even breathe or be yourself! How does anyone stand it here? How???!!!

Also how do i get my free will back and control of my life back? And what the f**k kind of evil monster keeps f***ing with my free will and making me waste years of my life in taiwan when i dont belong here at all and am a 100 percent misfit and cannot even breathe and am a total fish out of water here??? Even the twilight zone is more normal in Taiwan where i feel like a constant freak 24/7. Its horrible beyond words!!!

[Winston]

@momopi

Ok lets say u are right that the creator of the universe doesnt care if i am trapped in Taiwan or not. After all if God is the universe as is taught in pantheism then for him to notice me would be like us talking individually with each of the 40 trillion or so cells in our body one by one which we all know is impossible. Thus my theory is that either gods with small g are around us, which all ancient cultures believed in and worshipped, or angels intercede for us to higher forces or levels. Like managers intercede for us to higher levels of management since the CEO has more important things to do than to deal with every employee of the company. Make sense?

Either way the point is that the spiritual dimension definitely exists for sure. We are surrounded by gods, angels, spirits and souls of humans and monsters from millions of years of earth history. So it could be anything interfering with my free will. We definitely do NOT live in an atheistic material only 3rd dimension only universe where everything happens by chance. Thats for sure. Any little research into parapsychology proves that. So atheists are wrong and very dumb. There are countless books and lectures and documentaries and research in parapsychology to corroborate that. Anyone can research it if interested. Im 100 percent sure the spiritual realm exists. Even if not proven there definitely is a preponderance of evidence for it.

Plus if something happens everyday it cannot be a coincidence. If i spilled coffee on your lap everyday u would know it cant be coincidence. Very simple. Also a coincidence theorist has less basis than a conspiracy theorist since the latter has plenty of evidence but the former does not.

Either way something is definitely f***ing with my free will. If not god then some entity or gods with small g or demons or ghosts or djinn or archons or tulpas, etc.

Please ask the gods to stop making me fix problems. He keep making me fix problems. I have no control right now over life. it pisses me off. Everyday theres some problem to fix. When i fix it god gives me another problem. Im so tired. Can someone ask him to stop it? Its very friggin annoying. I cant even finish last years stuff like applying visa for dianne and 20 other things because everyday a new problem blocks me and keeps me busy. Very annoying. I have no control over my schedule.

Last two weeks i been busy fixing problems. I couldn't do anything. Im so tired and frustrated and exhausted. Something wont let me control my life and schedule. I swear.

Btw you seemed to imply that i have OCD. Perhaps so. But that doesnt mean the spiritual dimension doesnt exist. You should take that into account.

[yick]

Have you ever thought about thanking The Universe for what you have? I do that all the time and when I ask The Universe for something - for example, I am doing a lot of running, I don't ask to run faster or to lose weight easier but I ask The Universe to keep my knees and feet in good condition and let me run injury free.

I don't demand anything, if I do ask I ask it if they could see to it that they xxxx whatever it is and if I don't get it then fine, but I like to think I am a good person who tries my best to do the right thing (though sometimes I fail badly...) and that they might consider it. Some things go a certain way because that's the best thing to happen.

The facts are you have a reasonably good life, what do you want to change? Can these things be changed and how much effort do you make into changing what you want to change? Some things are beyond your control - the world is in lockdown but it won't be forever and you will be able to leave Taiwan for somewhere else - if you want to become a squillionaire or have a bevy of blonde cheerleaders then you are going to be shite out of luck - someone once said you can have anything you want but you can't have everything you want.

You have to pick and choose what is important.

[Yohan]

I am also restricted and cannot travel abroad at this moment to Thailand, where I have my second home since about 20 years.
However I have no restrictions inside of Japan, and my place where I am living is very nice, all very much OK.
I was expecting to spend the wintertime, together with some family members and friends from Europe in Thailand, but it does not work out now.

I have also a nice home in Japan, I am resident for life, no problem with wife and our 2 adult children and grandchildren, I have a motorcycle (often not so cold during daytime when sunny), we also have a car, no financial problems, all of us are general healthy but have good insurance nothing to worry about medical bills...if bad weather outside, I play with my flight simulator program or study a bit about other Asian language - enjoy good food with my wife in restaurants, visit some museums in the city (free entrance for local seniors) and if weather is fine I walk around in the forests nearby or along the river...

I do what I can to feel comfortable...

Why are you so unhappy with your life?

I said, I will never go back to Europe, so I decided to move my old father to Japan, he was living with us for 14 years but died already, 100 years old...
Why did you leave USA for Taiwan, if you dislike that little island so much? Better invite your parents to your home in the States or ask them to take a short flight to Philippines...

[Yohan]

How does anyone stand taiwan or tolerate it?

This has got to be the most MISERABLE place on earth.

This is clearly wrong. Taiwan is not the most miserable place on earth. There is a LONG list of countries where citizens have a much harder life.
Taiwan is highly developed and offers its citizens a fairly good living standard, almost same as here in Japan.

It is true that this little country, an island with unclear future, is not very communicative, people are not easy to approach, communication between men and women is worse than in Japan and even in South Korea I think.

As I said several times, in countries like Japan, South Korea and Taiwan if you live there you need a family, otherwise you will end up lonely.

However I find Taiwan still much better than Hong Kong or Singapore in case you cannot move on.

There is some open space in Taiwan to travel around, it's not a city state. Taiwan is almost 400 km from north to south, not small enough to feel like a prisoner.

Taiwan is surely not a place to look for chat with local girls - better try to meet some Filipina domestic helpers or meet other foreigners.
It is not so cheap for nightlife, but otherwise?

Where are you now? In Taipei? Get out of the city, make a roundtrip to some smaller cities along both sides of the coast and visit the forest areas inside the island...look for some activities until it is possible to get out of this island.

[HappyGuy]

Why does he want me to stay in a miserable soulless repressed place where im uncomfortable and miserable?

Try something else

For what logical reason? Its against my will. Where the f**k is my free will?!

When you find it can you follow through with our requests to improve the forum?

Also how do i get my free will back and control of my life back? And what the f**k kind of evil monster keeps f***ing with my free will and making me waste years of my life in taiwan when i dont belong here at all and am a 100 percent misfit and cannot even breathe and am a total fish out of water here???

[HouseMD]

f**k man. I just realized ive lost four years of my life in taiwan. In 2010 i was stuck here for a year, then again in 2012 and then again in 2016. And now in 2020 i lost another year too. Thats four years wasted here. God f**k! What the f**k is god doing? Why does he want me to stay in a miserable soulless repressed place where im uncomfortable and miserable? It pisses me off like crazy. im tired of cussing at God. Why does he do that? For what logical reason? Its against my will. Where the f**k is my free will?!

If it wasnt for my parents id never come here. Ever. Such a miserable place with NO FREEDOM at all. If u see a girl u like u cant talk to her or approach her without feeling like a creep or criminal. If u try u will feel a cold chill down your spine because its not allowed and is a social taboo which u can feel instinctively. U cant talk to strangers or have fun or get wild or be yourself or connect with others or talk to others. Nothing. Its a total prison. I cant do anything. My hands are tied 24/7. I'm miserable and uncomfortable every f***ing moment!

What the f**k are you doing God??!! What do you want???!!! Can someone ask the universe what it wants from me? And why it wont let me go?! I cant believe such a miserable soulless repressed zombie like place like this exists! A total hellhole! Why do the gods allow such a hell to exist like Taiwan where if u are not a zombie then u are a freak? Its weirder than the twilight zone!

How does anyone stand taiwan or tolerate it? I dont friggin get it. How does rock or monkro not feel any negative or awkward or suffocating vibes here? I don't get it. Impossible. This has got to be the most MISERABLE place on earth. I swear. Totally spirit killing and soul killing and confidence killing. You cant do anything. Not even breathe or be yourself! How does anyone stand it here? How???!!!

Also how do i get my free will back and control of my life back? And what the f**k kind of evil monster keeps f***ing with my free will and making me waste years of my life in taiwan when i dont belong here at all and am a 100 percent misfit and cannot even breathe and am a total fish out of water here??? Even the twilight zone is more normal in Taiwan where i feel like a constant freak 24/7. Its horrible beyond words!!!

You know, you could just stop going back. Why did you go back? Needed the neetbux from your parents or something?

[Winston]

I'm going to post this on Taiwan expat groups on Facebook and Reddit and Forumosa. It's probably gonna piss off a lot of expats in Taiwan, because most of them love Taiwan and are victim-blaming, so I expect to get flamed by a lot of people for this brutal honesty. But I gotta vent and let out steam somehow to other westerners that may understand me better, because Taiwanese have zero chance of understanding or relating to me. I'm also gonna post it here so I can just copy and paste it to different sites when I need to, in case it gets deleted.

Post to Taiwan expat groups:

May I ask you all a taboo but obvious question? I know TW is very politically correct, so this is gonna be considered taboo. Does anyone know anyone cool in Chiayi I can meet? I can't make a single real friend here. The people here seem to have ZERO interest in making new friends. I've had many polite conversations with strangers here but they never go anywhere. There's always zero chemistry and connection. It seems impossible to connect with anyone or make any normal friends here. Usually I can use cold approach and social skills to meet people, which works great in other countries but not TW, so I'm not gonna blame myself, since location matters too. In other countries I can go out and have fun and meet people everyday easily. But that doesn't work here.

I do know people here but they are all reclusive and busy and never want to hang out. When I try to hang out with anyone here, they act like I'm invading their privacy, as if being social is taboo here. Gee whiz. I can't stand countries where people are like that. I had enough of that in the USA.

Every time I go out it feels creepy like there is a cold WALL between me and others that I'm not supposed to breach. It feels very depressing and lonely and sad. If I try to meet people I feel like a creep because it feels unnatural and against the grain. Everyone looks like they want to be left alone. My social skills don't work here. The people here are way too reserved and repressed, to the point of being non-human (no offense to anyone). I'm not like that at all and I don't get how expats here can tolerate that. It's like the Twilight Zone.

Only elderly and older folks here are sometimes warm and friendly to strangers. But young adults and middle aged people never are. They are very cold and soulless and don't talk to strangers and carry a negative vibe. So there are like two different species in Taiwan. No one seems to talk about this except me, but it's very obvious. Do any of you notice this too?

Note that I am not working here. I'm only here cause of my parents. If my folks weren't here, I would never be in Taiwan at all. So I have nothing to do but go online, which is depressing because I do not like to stay home. But if I go out I feel social anxiety because of all the cold antisocial people around me with thick walls around them. It's just like the USA, super cliquish, like a snobby high school. I do know some people here and have many relatives but they all feel like acquaintances, not friends, and act very distant. They don't invite me to hang out or do stuff or to any outings. They are always busy or stay home. Way too square and boring.

Note that this has nothing to do with a language barrier. I speak basic Mandarin and conversational Taiwanese. So that's not the issue. There is simply no resonance or connection with others here, not even with other foreigners, who act very reserved and more Taiwanese than Western, and aren't like the foreigners I know in the Philippines who will hang out with me and drink til 4am. No one does that here. Everyone I know sleeps early and doesn't even go to the night market and doesn't go out in general. They are super square and boring and only go to work and go home. Also there's no such thing as a language barrier because if there were then animals would never hang out or connect or procreate with each other. lol. It's all about resonance and vibes. Moreover, in Russia I never spoke the language yet I was able to connect easily and have fun everyday and date women everyday. Body language is even more important than spoken language. So I've never understood why many think language is an issue.

I am Asian American but have more of an Italian or European soul, so I am an unusual hybrid. That turns off a lot of Taiwanese people, especially Taiwanese women who tend to be super judgmental and quick to dislike others, and do not like Asians who act white.

Regarding TW women, I've never understood something. They seem to have ZERO interest in meeting guys and making new friends, so how then do TW guys hook up with their girlfriends or wives? I've been asking this since 2004 when I noticed this paradox in TW. But no one has an answer. It's like a reality breakdown. You could ask the same about the USA too, which is why TW and the US are similar in terms of social and dating dynamics. I think it's ultimately destiny and due to some hidden order.

Taiwanese are always emotionally distant and act like acquaintances, never true friends. Do you guys notice this too? It's not my imagination right? The proof of this is that every time you have a misunderstanding with Taiwanese people, they usually ignore you or block you or ghost you, which is not how a real friend acts. We all know this. But pretty much everyone in TW is like that unfortunately.

Everyone here is busy and reclusive and doesn't want to connect. People are emotionally distant here, and impossible to connect with or vibe with or have any chemistry with. I often feel like I'm in the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" where everyone is non-human or an NPC here except me. Usually I make friends easily in other countries, even China, and especially the Philippines which is a MILLION times more happy and social than Taiwan. I also make friends easily in Europe and Russia where my social skills and soul and confidence shine. Only in Taiwan and USA do I sense a thick cold wall between me and others that I can't breach. Trying to meet people with cold approach here feels wrong and inappropriate and against the grain. It doesn't work here. It feels creepy and gives me social anxiety, just like the USA. Everyone seems to be in a set routine with a set group of friends and not open to meeting anyone new or hanging out. That's why Taiwan to me is like kryptonite to Superman and takes away my powers and makes me feel powerless, like my hands are tied. It's an awful feeling.

If I had my free will I would just fly to the Philippines now to be with my friends and girlfriend there. But something supernatural keeps trying to force me to be here against my will. Trying to leave Taiwan is like trying to get off Gilligan's Island (a TV comedy show from the 60s). There seems to be some weird vortex here that pulls me here like a tractor beam, against my will. What can I do? If I don't call my close friends everyday (who are in other countries) I would go crazy from loneliness and isolation. My parents do not relate to me at all and tell me I am weak and should not need to be social, so they are not empathetic at all.

Does anyone else here feel the same way? If so, what can I do? Do you notice there is some kind of vortex here that doesn't want you to leave? It's like something metaphysical is feeding on us here. Any of you with psychic abilities here notice that? Anyone here an old soul and not an NPC or young soul? I am an old soul and do not vibe with young souls. But I see no old souls here. Taiwan is like a baby soul or young soul country. It doesn't have a lot of old souls like Europe does.

Even if I had a girlfriend or social group in Taiwan, I would still feel out of place and awkward, because the people here are way too closed off, reserved, and repressed here, never lively or vivacious or gregarious. It feels creepy to see that everyday. It doesn't vibe with me, since I am a passionate Italian or Greek or Spaniard inside an Asian body, which turns off a lot of Asians except for the ones in the Philippines who don't mind it. So it rubs me the wrong way. When you don't fit into a culture, it feels awkward everyday, like putting ketchup on a chocolate bar and eating it everyday, which would taste awkward. You know what I mean? I'm also not an NPC like most people are, but am very deep and soulful.

If I were in Taipei, I could at least go to some Meetup groups, but in Chiayi there are none. There are only Christian churches here to meet people, but I left Christianity long ago. Plus church people tend to be your acquaintances only, not your real friends. Even the Couchsurfing group in Chiayi never wants to have any meetups or get togethers. I tried posting there and no one was interested. Even the Couchsurfers in Chiayi have that "leave me alone, mind your own business" attitude, which is unusual for Couchsurfing because CSers tend to be the friendliest people in the world.

I heard from one expat that Chiayi people have the worst social skills in all of Taiwan. That is so true. At least Taipei has cosmopolitan people, but Chiayi doesn't. So I feel like I'm in some kind of social hell here. This almost feels like some divine punishment or hell realm. It's like everything is against me. Any of you feel the same? What can I do?

Sorry for this long rant. I know all this is taboo and that TW is very politically correct. But I feel like I need to vent somewhere before I lose my mind, and to a group of westerners who might be able relate to me, because Taiwanese have zero chance of relating to me and are like aliens to me. I am not Taiwanese on the inside, that's for sure. If I were I'd never say any of the above. I am an ABC but an old soul European philosopher/freethinker/intellectual type of banana, not an average American type. So I am extremely rare and unique, which gets me no points in Taiwan of course since people here are not curious at all, unlike in Europe.

Sure TW may be safe and sterile but that's not natural. Because without risk or danger or wild experiences, one cannot grow or evolve. Too much safety stagnates the soul. So everyday in TW feels like wasted time. The experiences you have in TW are never alive or meaningful or legendary. My experiences in Russia felt like classic vintage cinema, like Gone with the Wind or the Wizard of Oz or the original Star Wars movie. But I never get that feeling in TW. Ever. So I've never understood the appeal of TW to some foreigners.

Note that the foreigners in TW are totally different than the ones in the Philippines. The ones in TW are much more reserved and square and normie, they are never eccentric or freespirited or freethinking or cool or wild. They act more TWese than Western, which is probably what drew them to TW, unlike me. Like attracts like. I'm not drawn to TW at all, I'm here cause of my parents. I would never choose to be in TW if I had a choice since I am not like TWese at all. It's tedious explaining this to TWese people because they are simple and assume that if I'm TWese on the outside then I must be TWese on the inside. A friend of mine was spot on when he told me that Asians are narrow and rigid and think in a straight line, whereas my mind is full of diversity and complexity, which they lack. So that's why I don't relate to Asians in general and most of my friends are white. So true and spot on. But in TW it's against the grain to talk about that or anything deep.

This is the most superficial country I've ever been to, and I've been to 14 countries and lived a long time in several. Everyone seems like an NPC with no divine soul. It feels like people here aren't even real. Like I'm in some virtual reality video game where I'm the only player or real person. I hate that feeling. It's creepy and depressing and isolating. But what can I do? Nothing I do works. It feels like everything I try goes nowhere or goes wrong, like some jinx or curse. It feels like the egregore or oversoul that governs TW doesn't like me and is against me. It's a terrible feeling. As if everything I do is against the grain and trying to paddle upstream against the current. It's the worst feeling you can have psychologically in a country. I've experienced that all my life in the US, and now the matrix wants me to experience it here in TW too? Geez. It really pisses me off every time I think about it.

Sorry this was so long. I tried to squeeze in a lot of my thoughts. I've been meaning to post this for a long time. But hesitated because it's not politically correct at all and TW is very politically correct as we all know. So I do expect to be flamed here. So much for free speech. lol. Conformity rules everything here, like an Orwellian dystopia. Even in China I felt freer and it was easier to talk to people, since they are less paranoid and more social and normal and natural, despite the bad rap China gets. So I learned that everything you hear in the media is the opposite of the truth. So if you learn nothing from this, at least learn that. Maybe I'm just too authentic and deep? There are many memes and YT videos now that say that people do not like people who are too authentic, it scares them. That seems to be true. Even Nietzsche and Schopenhauer and Carl Jung said that.

If you got this far, then kudos. Sorry if this long post offends anyone. I'm just being 100 percent honest and genuine, and do not intend to offend anyone. Just being real.

[Winston]

How does anyone stand taiwan or tolerate it?

This has got to be the most MISERABLE place on earth.

This is clearly wrong. Taiwan is not the most miserable place on earth. There is a LONG list of countries where citizens have a much harder life.
Taiwan is highly developed and offers its citizens a fairly good living standard, almost same as here in Japan.

It is true that this little country, an island with unclear future, is not very communicative, people are not easy to approach, communication between men and women is worse than in Japan and even in South Korea I think.

As I said several times, in countries like Japan, South Korea and Taiwan if you live there you need a family, otherwise you will end up lonely.

However I find Taiwan still much better than Hong Kong or Singapore in case you cannot move on.

There is some open space in Taiwan to travel around, it's not a city state. Taiwan is almost 400 km from north to south, not small enough to feel like a prisoner.

Taiwan is surely not a place to look for chat with local girls - better try to meet some Filipina domestic helpers or meet other foreigners.
It is not so cheap for nightlife, but otherwise?

Where are you now? In Taipei? Get out of the city, make a roundtrip to some smaller cities along both sides of the coast and visit the forest areas inside the island...look for some activities until it is possible to get out of this island.

I meant it's the most miserable place that I've ever been to. There are different kinds of misery. TW is a social hell, so it's that kind of misery. It's the most lonely, depressing, isolating, and boring place in Asia in my experience.

Yeah Hong Kong is rude and expensive and not friendly either, however the city of HK is very vibrant and dynamic and has some ENERGY. Taiwan has none, it's super STERILE and safe. But that safety stagnates the soul and never allows you to grow.

TW doesn't have much open space. It's full of mountains and hills. Even the hiking trails involve steep steps up and down. It doesn't have flat lands like other countries do.

All the Filipinas I've met in TW have no time to meet up. They're always working and on Sunday they go to church with their friends. Their lives are very routine and rigid and set with no room or flexibility for new friends.

I'm not in Taipei. I'm in a small city called Chiayi where everyone is backwards and uneducated. If I were in Taipei I could at least go to some Meetup groups or Couchsurfing parties. But they don't have them in Chiayi. Even the Couchsurfing group doesn't want to meet up here, which is unusual. But I don't like the TW vibe in general. It's weird and awkward and feels creepy. The people give off negative vibes and don't seem human. It's hard to explain what I mean. It also has this depressing vibe. I cannot believe a place like this exists. It feels like some kind of divine punishment to be here.

The only place to meet people here is to go to church, which is awkward since I left Christianity long ago. Also I find churches here to have a cult like mentality, with superficial people who are just polite acquaintances only, not real friends.

Btw @Yohan you've been to Taiwan too right? How would you compare it to Japan in terms of people, culture, vibe, and personality?

[Space Invaders]

Different day, same old Winston. Are you an NPC ?

[Winston]

Different day, same old Winston. Are you an NPC ?

Of course not. If I were an NPC I would say that everything is great and only talk about superficial things and be totally politically correct. I am just cursed by some Satanic force. Didn't you read what I wrote? I explained it clearly. You are more like agent Smith in the Matrix who constantly attacks people rather than helps anyone.

[kangarunner]

@Winston Thank you for the long and informative opinion article on Taiwan. It really shows your endless love of the country and the social benefits it has. I'm sure if you post it on /r/taiwan Reddit, there will be some Redditors who may like you even more and want to be friends with you.

If I had my free will I would just fly to the Philippines now to be with my friends and girlfriend there. But something supernatural keeps trying to force me to be here against my will. Trying to leave Taiwan is like trying to get off Gilligan's Island (a TV comedy show from the 60s). There seems to be some weird vortex here that pulls me here like a tractor beam, against my will. What can I do? If I don't call my close friends everyday (who are in other countries) I would go crazy from loneliness and isolation. My parents do not relate to me at all and tell me I am weak and should not need to be social, so they are not empathetic at all.

@Winston LOL, this is funny. I think you should start a new Youtube channel with the plot of the channel being Winston tries to escape from Taiwan. I think it would get a lot of viewers.

[Space Invaders]

How can someone be helped who was born to lose? That's a logical nonsense. Even someone of your limited intellect would understand this.

You are right to say that you have been cursed.

[MrMan]

@Winston

So I gather you are in Taiwan now. What keeps you there? Is it taking care of elderly family members or work at this stage? Do you have a way of earning a living if you live in the US?

In theology the idea of free will would be the debate over whether God makes you want to leave Taiwan, then makes you decide to go to the airport, but doesn't let the plane leave...not just options closing up. Wanting to leave a deserted island, but not having a boat isn't the issue in the determinism v. free will debate. Just sayin'.

I haven't known a lot of Taiwan people. I had some large classes for my masters degree. We had a few students from Taiwan, but I wasn't close to them. Back in the 1990's, I took mixed grad and undergrad classes before accrediting did away with that practice. Years before as an undergrad, I used to sit next to a Taiwanese girl who was kind of cute and seemed nice enough. I think I told her my age, but she wouldn't tell me hers. I was probably like 20. I'm guessing she might have been 30ish and didn't want to say.

There was an international student meeting where they served coffee and snacks. This one Taiwanese girl, short, not too attractive in the face, a bit of nose hair, who gave me her number. She gave me her number. I lived a ways out with my family and I'd work in town or stay on campus and go home too late to call anyone (when people with cell phones had those large car phones and it wasn't a common thing.) And I wasn't interested in the girl and wouldn't have called her anyway. I go back to that social event, and the girl comes up to me demanding to know what I didn't call her. I was so naive I don't know if I even picked up on her liking me. Or maybe it was if she wasn't attractive to me, the whole issue wasn't on my RADAR. Anyway, that was very off-putting. It seemed like a case of someone having no shame, too. Some of it was probably cultural differences. And there are weird people in the US, also.

Anyway, the first girl was kind of pretty and seemed nice, not so with the second one.

Come to think of it, I think there was a Taiwanese guy who was a part of my social circle at church in Jakarta for a while, who worked at an embassy/consulate type place and had an inside scoop on some of the Indonesian politics. He seemed alright.

So far, Taiwanese people seem like regular people to me, not NPCs in a matrix video game.

I had a conversation in graduate school with a mainland Chinese guy who had lived in the US for years. He was well-to-do, I gather, from investing, but wanted to study and go work in the corporate world (strange choice if you ask me since he and others owned little motels and he did that for a living... strange if they were profitable.) He said you know what's like to spend a lot of your life overseas. You don't really fit in in your home country. And you don't fit in when you go back home.

I thought about it. That's probably true, but I don't really feel it because I have a wife to spend time with at home. I've also got kids I can talk with. They are teens or grown but still living at home now. And my wife makes friends easily wherever she is, so we always have people in our lives. But we do go to church and make friends there.