Chinese men mind your own business

[ph_visitor]

Redacted.

[Billy]

ph I like your criticism, but there is a big elephant in the room. Before you praised China and now you think it´s disgusting. As everybody pointed out you sound like an angry troll. Explain your background otherwise nobody can understand you. Maybe China has got the best of you. You need to clear and reset your mind. There is something wrong in your village

[ph_visitor]

Redacted

[ladislav]

This is very common - the guys who have a steady gf, fiance or wife just don't seem to notice all the bullshit.

I am curious why you are not going the online route. There are all these dating sites with Chinese girls looking for foreigners only.

[ph_visitor]

Redacted

[lookin4happiness]

ph.. I can relate to what you say about your money not getting you anywhere. I experience the same in India... You can flaunt whatever shit you have but it won't even cause anyone to glance the other way... People really don't give a f**k about your money.. Asian people are simply different man and I am not talking about the ultra westernized ones I am talking about the ones that are from places where U.S culture really has very little influence you have to figure out their culture which takes a lot of time and really involves learning the language.. If that is not possible then how do you expect to meet girls that aren't brainwashed with western culture?

[Rock]

So today's tally as I made notes between 12 noon and 5 pm:

In order:

1) Taxi driver doesn't understand my instructions to go to bus station. He repeats it in local dialect/accent. Dui. Off we go.

2) Young girl taking a piss directly in front of the entrance to the bus station and Mom is pulling up her panties as I walk in with dozens of others.

3) Guy stared in my wallet as I pay my bus fare.

4) No one sits next to me on the bus until the last seat is taken. When one opens up, the person next to me bolts to the other open seat next to a ZhongHuaRen. This happens on most bus rides that I take.

5) Bus driver spaces out, misses me on the bus. I am walking down the aisle, last one to leave, and he just cannot seem to 'see' that I am standing there. He begins to drive to the lot. I speak up and he comes out of his mind haze and lets me off the bus.

6) One muttered Laowai by a random pedestrian.

7) Two separate college girls say hello and then bolt.

8.) I get on another bus. One woman [60?] stares at me disapprovingly as we wait for the bus. A young couple are waiting and the girl smiles at me, seems to like the fact that I am tall. She is standing on the curb and I am still taller than she.

Her bf, of course, does not approve and he glares at me.

9) After I get on this bus, when I get to my destination two guys push on to the bus as I am standing there in the well of the back exit to leave the bus. I am a tall and big guy and I need to have no one in the way in order to get off the bus. There just isn't the room for me to get off with someone else there.

One guy squeezes past, the other has his head down and just walks into me. I take my hand and gently push him back so that I can get off the bus. He lifts his hands as if to express "What? What did I do?". He just couldn't seem to figure out that I cannot get past him and that I need to get off the bus and that I am standing and filling in and blocking the entire exit well. This sort of mental blindness is typical in many Chinese. They just cannot seem to figure out basic things like this - let passengers get off, then you get on. Simple, well supposedly.

10) At my destination I sample the local food. Delicious. As I am eating my mian, a table of girls is constantly staring at me and turning their heads and checking me out and talking about me. They correctly guess I am American as I hear snippets of their conversation in Chinese.

I pay and then walk over to their table to say hello.

That's as far as the conversation goes.

Attempted in both ZH and EN:

"Hello! Do you go to the University across the street?"

Ting bu dong.

As the girl who had been staring at me for 10 or 15 minutes suddenly ceases all eye contact and closes off her body language. This happens every single time. Woman looks at me, smiles, I say hello, and the doors slam shut.

"Bye Bye". and I leave. Typical.

11) One "Laowai!" on the way to the bus ride home.

12) I take the bus home, empty seat of course as no one wants to sit next to me.

13) I get off the bus, hop a taxi - no issues. Get out and a Man looks at me suspiciously and stares and follows me with his eyes as I cross the street, walk into a store, make some purchases, and then as I leave. Lovely /s.

Keep in mind that I have lived in the exact same address for 3 years. Yet I still get treated this way by people who live immediately next door to me.

===========

Of course most of this is standard Chinese cultural differences, which Rock never ever mentions. Leads me to suspect that he is in an Expat Bubble of sorts, perhaps be makes very good money. His lack of reply to my said query and his general tenor of his replies indicates both are likely the case.

But besides the cultural issues there were 3 'I don't like you because you are a foreigner' stares, one or two nosey busy-bodies, and the 2 'Laowais' muttered as I passed. This is with my poor poor language skills. I shudder to think what I will find out they are really saying when I get better.

This is a completely normal day here. A bit low on the 'laowai' chanting.

I wonder how Rock cannot notice these sorts of things and miss observing them.

Because I'm smart enough to know better than to try fitting into a 4th tier Chinese hick town long term. Its funny how bitter you've become because in the early days, you were spouting on and on about how better your life was there, how you could live well on something like 3 dollars a day, how young girls eyed and smiled at you often, how evil California was in comparison, etc.

Back then, I quetioned your choice to live in the sticks of China as an Amerian man set in his ways who didn't speak a lick of Chinese. Of course your stubborn ass didn't tale anything advised by 'more experienced Asia hands' into consideration. Well, fast forward 2+ years and just look at the state of you. Its very clear you have major issues now Globe. I hate to say I told you so, but...

Suck it up crybaby and move on.

[ph_visitor]

Back then, I quetioned your choice to live in the sticks of China as an Amerian man set in his ways who didn't speak a lick of Chinese.

Bullshit. You mentioned none of what I posted.

It took me two pages to get you to admit that older L2 learners of Chinese have a near impossible task just getting up to A1 on the CERL.

[Taco]

Because to be seen in public in rural China in the company of a Foreign Man is permanent, life-long, social death on a scale that none of you can comprehend.

It's 'The Scarlet Letter' times 1,000.

Thats not always true.

Theres a certain type of Chinese woman that will have no reservations about having a foreign boyfriend. Educated, Chinese women over the age of 25, living in large cities and who's father is out of the picture(deceased, estranged etc..) will be the ones most interested in foreign men. These women have little chance of getting married and a foreign man is often their best option for a longterm, stable relationship.

In addition, the "Brad Pitt" factor is also an important attraction for Chinese women. Where Chinese women that have seen lots of western movies often regard foreign men as more loving, in a country where domestic violence is quite common.

I'm guessing, Shenzhen, maybe the best city for dating in China. It has more women than men and most of the women are from northern China, far away from the watchful eyes of their families.

[chanta76]

I scan through this thread will quick...all I can say is you going to find racism where every you go.


Are Asians racist? Yes
Are white people racist? Yes
Are blacks? yes ..and yes to any other groups. Does this mean all of them ? No..but some of them.

I'm Asian and I grew up in America and I can relate to Zboy experience in the states..at the same time being in Asia is a double edge sword to Asian Americans..why? For example I'm Korean..if I go back to Korea and I don't speak Korean fluent . To some native Koreans they don't accept me and sometimes tell me to go back to America just because I don't fit into their narrow view of what is a Korean person.

Same here in the states..I still get some white person telling me to go back to my country when I lived in USA for over 30 years and have a US citizenship.


We all experience racism and being treated like an outcast to a degree.....

I really think many of the posters here are bitter and we seek some sort happiness or acceptance some where else...if it's not in China ...try another country ....it's like many of us are out cast...shoot many of us feel like out cast in the states...

To the original poster....if China not working for you....just being bitter just going to knock years off your life...try some other country.

[ladislav]

Chanta, you are right. Racism is everywhere. But what we need to do is find places/cultures where this racism is minimal against us, and does not cause extreme hardship and is only a minor nuisance instead. Where it does not happen 3-4 times a day.

If it happens
'sometimes', then it is OK. If it happens 'all the time' every day, then it is not. If 'some' people are racist, then it is OK. If 'MOST' people are racist, then it is not.

For example, in the Philippines I had only 3-5 'racist' incidents over the two decades in and out of the country. Mostly because people here think I am from India and some do not like that. One girl also told me that she was afraid what people would say if she was with me. But most girls did not care. In Thailand, the intensity was much greater and way too high for me. There, 'most' girls did not want to be seen with me. 'Some' would.

'Some' people vs. 'most' people.

'Sometimes' vs. 'very often'/'most' of the time.

Very weak such as gossiping or someone making a quiet remark/ rolling one's eyes vs very strong/intense- you being verbally attacked or taunted daily or in extreme cases beaten/killed.

Therein lies the difference.

It seems that the posters here are now in a zone where the intensity of Asian racism is too high and action needs to be taken urgently.

But it is not the time to start gloating- ah see, you white boy, now you know what your people did to me. The person obviously does not hate Asians, is there to integrate and is sincere but he is a 'white' man who is now being hounded by ignorant 'yellow' racists. Who are just as bad as the 'white; racists if not more ignorant and bigoted because they have no guilt whatsoever. No compassion. They are like the white racists in the US 100-200 years ago. Very dumb.

"Foreign devil, foreign devil!" a finger stuck at you

"Hey, don't call me that?"

"But what should I call you? Aren't you a foreign devil? "

They are in the Middle ages still.

[Winston]

That's not what I heard. I heard that if a white foreigner in China complains, the business owner will scold the incompetent employee, and will treat the white foreigner better than their own people. They are nicer and put up a more hospitable face to white people.

I've noticed also that in a room full of repressed East Asians, when a white person enters the room, suddenly the vibe in the room will change, and everyone seems less repressed. It's really weird. I wonder why that is.

This may be one reason why white people sense that East Asians are friendlier than Asians do.

[ladislav]

That's not what I heard. I heard that if a white foreigner in China complains, the business owner will scold the incompetent employee, and will treat the white foreigner better than their own people. They are nicer and put up a more hospitable face to white people.

Asians are hospitable- to guests/customers. It does not mean they want you to live there long term or marry their daughters. He was a paying customer and a foreigner and the owner would lose face.

I've noticed also that in a room full of repressed East Asians, when a white person enters the room, suddenly the vibe in the room will change, and everyone seems less repressed. It's really weird. I wonder why that is.

He is a guest. And a bit of a riot. A break from the monotony.

This may be one reason why white people sense that East Asians are friendlier than Asians do

As long as the rich foreign devil knows he is only a temporary guest and when to go home, and does not overstay his welcome and/or God forbid try to get too involved or settle among them.

[Truthville]

Hey all,

I didn't mean to come off bitter or anything approaching bitterness. I was just trying to illustrate some of the "racial" things I have experienced.

I have friends of ALL colors, just trying to make the point that not one racial group has a monopoly on bad things happening to them because of race.

It's quite normal and natural, I believe, to want to associate with your "own" BUT when you totally close yourself off to interacting with people different than you, how do you EVER learn anything new!? HOW to you ever formulate different points of view or different modes of thinking?

IMHO, it's one thing to secretly or overtly "dislike" a certain group of people for whatever reason, it's quite another to express those opinions openly and to complete strangers!

Safety in numbers is usually what it is! MOST of these "people" wouldn't have the balls to say one thing IF they were outnumbered!

Cowards most of them!

[ph_visitor]

As long as the rich foreign devil knows he is only a temporary guest and when to go home, and does not overstay his welcome and/or God forbid try to get too involved or settle among them.

Which, if Rock were honest about his observations and situation, would explain much.

In Rock's case we have a Taiwan-based Anglo L1 salesman of financial services products in the B2B space. Possibly even to SOE in China. Perhaps annuities from a firm like Prudential. Graduated from A and B-schools.

His income, and this is a guess, is well over $100,000 USD per year. 50,000 CNY per month.

All well and good for Rock, but meaningless to the other 99.9% of men who are not in the same position. What he does defines who he meets, how they act and their language ability.

There is no way for someone who makes B2B presentations as a representative of a globally well-known and respected F500 firm in the FIRE economy to SOE's to have anything close to a realistic experience of China.

He is isolated and insulated from every thing that I post, due to money, stature and who he sells to.

He is a temporary expert visiting from afar and all of the above mean that he won't see what most visitors encounter when they visit and live here.

Learning Chinese from age 28-40, and then at age 40 after years of acquisition, to tell someone who is older that it's easy in one year - this is just a falsehood.

Somehow, and this is really a constant meme on line in 2012 - everyone thinks that everyone is like they are, are the same age range of (23-39). Well, I don't. I do not think Ladislav, Winston or Rock are like I am and have similar experiences. I do not think everyone on line is 25 years old, although they all think that I am.

My guess from those I know, and Rock's anecdotes, is that if you are older than 32, you can just about forget learning the most difficult languages (Basque, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Arabic, etc.). If you are over 40 it becomes very trying, and if you are 50+ you are wasting your time as you simply lack the time left in life to learn a meaningful level of Chinese, etc. where you will be able to use it to accomplish anything in country.

Learn it before 25 or forget it.

This comports with the older guys I know who ALL speak very very little or no Chinese, yet these guys all have wives or gf's or lovers who have English L2 and act as a translator and barrier to the massive cultural differences and bias' that exist.

For instance, the girl can go to the market and get the local price and you do not have to deal with being lied to on a daily basis about what a given item costs. Buy train tickets, make hotel reservations, etc.

So when those of you who speak Chinese tell others how to do it, keep this fact of age-related learning disability in mind.