Hugh Hefner engaged to woman 60 years his junior!

[Winston]

This is why i'm firmly against "sponsorship" or other long term pay for play "girlfriend experience" relationships. It's utterly pointless and a waste of money unless you have plans marrying that person.

It all depends on your budget and how much it costs. If you are make 4k a month after taxes and it costs you $400 a month to support her, then you will have a companion for as long as you need. If you are doing it with a student, then you can stop after she graduates and get a fresh new girlfriend. Just do it so that it is within your means and treat it as a necessary pleasure.

Also, you may not want to marry the girl but you may want to have a kid or two with he or just have her as a temporary companion for a few years and then marry her off to someone else. It all depends on how much money you are making. And in esence you will have young comanionship for as long as you are alive. Just alot a certain part of your monthly budget to her/them. If you make good money, that could be part of your life that will bring you a lot of joy.

I don't understand something Ladislav. Why do you and other guys like you need to sponsor them monthly? That's like paying rent on a place when you aren't even around. Why do that? Why not just pay them when you show up? Otherwise, you are giving them a monthly allowance for nothing. Why not only pay them when you are there and sleeping with them? Why do you need to pay them when you're not even there? What's the logic behind that?

[Winston]

If you've found yourself physically attracted to women who aren't likely to be interested in you or whom you don't find to be good relationship material in all other ways then you could wander around different places in the world searching for someone who does have the physical characteristics you are looking for and the values and personality too. You might get lucky and find someone like that or you could also just go from place to place trying different things. If this is your thing then it is your thing.

On the other hand if you have tried this and don't really like it, if you are tired of being drawn to women who aren't interested in you and whom you don't even like, if you are tired of being ruled by your base physical responses then some tantric training would be useful.

That base physical response comes from the unconscious mammallian part of the brian and has little lasting value. For example tantrics often spend days, months simply meditating on the form of a naked woman without doing anything. The energy of the primal response dissipates. In contemplating the human body you see it for what it is; the fantasy loses its power, the culturally given conditionings of what is attractive and what is not dissipate. You recognize that underneath the exterior we are all bags of messy smelly organs. The fetish for a particular race, body type dissipates too. Similar meditations are done during the act of sex itself.

This doesn't mean you become asexual, though eventually tantra masters do move to a space of natural celibacy. But your experience and understanding of beauty and sex changes. With that you will change too. It will seem odd initially; something you gave so much energy to is gone. But the freedom of the new space and what you can do with it will be very beautiful. As you get used to it you will appreciate it more and more. Assuming you are eventually looking for a partner to love and be loved, you might be surprised whom you end up with but it will feel right and good and you will look back at your race/looks fetish with laughter and maybe even a little regret at the time you wasted.

So if you are one of those fellows who when he walks into a room get transfixed by the skinny anglo blonde maybe (or whatever is your unhappy preference) and then spends the rest of the evening wondering how to talk to her when she has absolutely no interest in you; who if he does actually get to talk to her has to come up against the wall of the fact that he has nothing in common with her; who can't get his attention drawn towards the women in the party who do want to talk to him; who then has to go home alone and maybe masturbate to porn; if you are tired of this dead end life, there is hope for you.

Osho's books on tantra are a good start to get an intellectual understanding. Then you have to make an effort to go deeper into the meditations and allow yourself to change, go deeper and deeper into them. Once you get on this path don't be afraid, take the steps, they are well worth it.

Wow that's very deep and thought provoking. I do notice that once you are not obsessed with sex, even briefly, you gain deeper spiritual insights and clarity of mind. After I finish masturbating for instance, the tension for sex momentarily subsides, and I sometimes get brief spiritual insights of clarity and awakening. Probably we could accomplish a lot more and create a lot more if we weren't so obsessed with sex. That's why, probably, the best scientists and artists probably had low sex drive. lol

[MrPeabody]

Playboy mansion? More like a squalid prison: Former Playmates tell of 'grubby' world inside Hugh Hefner's empire

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z19cfNRbBH

[The_Adventurer]

Probably we could accomplish a lot more and create a lot more if we weren't so obsessed with sex. That's why, probably, the best scientists and artists probably had low sex drive. lol

Or they had good wives!

[Repatriate]

Playboy mansion? More like a squalid prison: Former Playmates tell of 'grubby' world inside Hugh Hefner's empire

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z19cfNRbBH

After reading that he's more of a pimp than I thought. He dangles promises of being a centerfold to get what he wants. He also skimps on the basics and gets the girls to do all the interior decorating and heavy lifting. It doesn't matter who gets chosen as a centerfold of course because the bulk of the profit from that enterprise is still going to Hefner. The mansion is more or less a brothel for the rich and famous. I'm not sure why these girls act so surprised that he lines them up and treats them like f**k dolls. To me that says more about how dumb some of these women are.

[Repatriate]

This is why i'm firmly against "sponsorship" or other long term pay for play "girlfriend experience" relationships. It's utterly pointless and a waste of money unless you have plans marrying that person.

It all depends on your budget and how much it costs. If you are make 4k a month after taxes and it costs you $400 a month to support her, then you will have a companion for as long as you need. If you are doing it with a student, then you can stop after she graduates and get a fresh new girlfriend. Just do it so that it is within your means and treat it as a necessary pleasure.

Also, you may not want to marry the girl but you may want to have a kid or two with he or just have her as a temporary companion for a few years and then marry her off to someone else. It all depends on how much money you are making. And in esence you will have young comanionship for as long as you are alive. Just alot a certain part of your monthly budget to her/them. If you make good money, that could be part of your life that will bring you a lot of joy.

I don't understand something Ladislav. Why do you and other guys like you need to sponsor them monthly? That's like paying rent on a place when you aren't even around. Why do that? Why not just pay them when you show up? Otherwise, you are giving them a monthly allowance for nothing. Why not only pay them when you are there and sleeping with them? Why do you need to pay them when you're not even there? What's the logic behind that?

I have to agree with Winston on this. When you sponsor a girl you're basically paying for the upkeep of a fantasy. To me there's nothing remotely satisfying about that. Sponsorship is essentially hiring a long term employee and putting them on your payroll. I'm sure they act like a "girlfriend" or "wife" but at the end of the day it's all monetary. Then again this sort of playing house turns some guys on so i'm not willing to totally bash it as being foolish. If it's a personal kink I can totally get it but it seems like the sort of thing that would quickly become a crutch in place of a real relationship.

[ladislav]

All these are good questions.

This is a lifestyle for people with more disposable money and more free time than a 9-5 Joe in Podunk Wisconsin. And someone who enjoys being a sugar daddy and who enjoys helping young ladies. It is more like a hobby.

Ideally, you should be in their country and visiting them regularly like once a week. I still cannot do as often as that it because I work in the Middle East. But I can visit them every several months. As they are still young, they are in need of tuition payments which are not much for me. I am happy with this arrangement and it is good for me. Hopefully in the very near future I can be near where they are. In the meantime, I am preparing for that.

Middle East jobs give long vacations- 40+ to 90 days a year. When I was working for the British Aerospace subsidiary in Riyadh 2 years ago, I had 64 days vacations and $4800 cash every month to spend anyway I liked. Apartments were free and transportation was free, too. Every 3.5 months I would take 20 days and visit the girls. That was not a fantasy.

If no guys here like to do that, it might mean they do not have enough time or money to live this type of lifestyle. Or they may have the money/time but you may just think it is not practical and have no inclination/disposition. And it is then, the case of, hey, whatever jerks your dodo.
I like it and I enjoy spending my money that way.

I for one would not do that were I working in the USA with its high taxes, huge expenses, a tiny disposable income, 1-2 week vacations and long flights out to Asia. That would really be illogical. And a fantasy.

That is why I am happier abroad.

[ijohn]

Here are some good quotes by Osho on the subject. Osho was a famous Indian mystic from the seventies and eighties. He first came to prominence when he gave a series of lectures on sex and superconsciousness in Mumbai in conservative India. Half the people of India were scandalized and the other half pretended to be while secretly agreeing. He got a lot of noteriety for his openness about sex, but people don't really read what he actually had to say, which is an echo of what past masters have said.

Try to understand what sexuality is, go deep into it. It has a tremendous beauty of its own. It is one of the profoundest mysteries of life. Life comes out of it -- it has to be a great mystery. Sex is not sin; repression is a sin. Sex is very natural, very spontaneous. You have not done anything to have it, it is inborn, it is part of your being. Don't condemn it, don't judge it, don't fear it, don't fight with it. Simply go into it more -- more meditatively. Let it happen in such silence, in such deep acceptance, that you can know the very core of it. The moment you penetrate to the very core of sexual orgasm you will see sex is losing its appeal for you, your energy is moving in a higher plane, you are becoming more loving and less sexual. And this happens spontaneously.

Remember, there are two types of celibates. One: who has simply forced celibacy upon himself -- he is a wrong type, he is doing violence to himself. The other: who has tried to understand sexuality, what it is, why it is; who has watched, observed, lived through it, and, by and by, has become aware of its futility; by and by, has become aware of a deep frustration that comes after EACH sexual act. In the sexual act you have a certain thrill, a moment of forgetfulness, a moment of oblivion. You feel good -- for a few seconds, only for a few seconds, you drop out of this routine world. Sex gives you a door to escape into some other world -- which is non-tense; there is no worry; you are simply relaxed and melting. But have you observed? After each sexual act you feel frustrated.

Sex has promised too much, but it has not been supplied. It is difficult to find a man or a woman who does not feel a little frustrated after the sexual act, who does not feel a little guilty. I am not talking about the guilt that priests have imposed upon you. Even if nobody has imposed any guilt upon you, you will feel a little guilt -- that is part, a shadow of the sexual act. You have lost energy, you feel depleted, and nothing has been gained. The gain is not very substantial. You have been befooled, you have been tricked, by a natural hypnosis -- you have been tricked by the body, you have been deceived. Hence comes a frustration.

There will be a few people who will report that they have followed their penis all their life and it has been great, they still enjoy it and intend to keep doing it. But this is on the extreme side of the human condition.

If you are not in the extreme; if you are tired of being led around by your dick; if you are tired of the places it takes you; of the things you have to give up; of the people you end up with; of the risks you have to take; of the things you didn't get done, the accomplishments you didnt have; the time you waste watching porn; then all this will be useful for you.

Scientists may or may not have good wives but they are most likely simply not as moved by the base physical response. They will see the centerfold picture and get aroused but will not be moved enough to do anything about it. Their wives will most likely be the nerdly earthen type and they are content with them. Their energy is primarily drawn to their work.

If you are the kind who has an overpowering sex drive, who is hopelessly drawn by the base physical response then you are a perfect candidate for meditation. 'From Sex to superconsciousness' is a good book to start with. And here is a good meditation to start. Buddhists teach this sometimes to help people see the reality. Imagine your centerfold, maybe the fiance here crystal whatshername. Aah how glorious is the image! You are overwhelmed; you must have this. Now imagine you see her and she is bald. Or she hasn't washed properly and her luscious mane you are so drawn to smells. She hasn't waxed and her armpits are hairy as are her legs and arms. Some hairs are protruding out of her nose. She's been having issues with faltulence and you sitting next to her get to smell her farts every so often. She hasn't wiped properly so when she adjusts her legs a smell of dried shit wafts by too.

Now you can go deeper. What lies underneath the skin of your object of fantasy? There are muscles and bone. There are organs. A small intestine, a large intestine a liver a spleen, kidneys, urinary tract, vagina, fallopian tubes, ovary, heart, lungs, brain, nerves, blood vessels, red blood cells, white blood cells, viruses, bacteria, enzymes, acids, hormones, blood, mucus, pus, shit, urine etc etc etc etc. This is the human body. Now where were we? Oh we were contemplating a fantasy but it seems to have died. Oh well.

Think about it men, your freedom from the projected image; from chasing that p***y of someone that you don't even like who doesn't even like you, from having to lie and be something you are not. A far greater possibility of having a partner whom you can actually love, who might actually care about you, whose company you actually enjoy.

I too was a p***y hound for a while and went and got myself game and all that rubbish. It learned how to dance good, polished up this and that skill etc etc. For a while it felt good. At the same time I had started getting deeper into meditation practice and reading up on some of these things. When it got to the point I was dancing with a beautiful woman and it felt like a joyless tedious experience, giving energy to see if she wanted to take it further for some nsa sex was not something I had any interest in doing and all I could think about was that if I am giving my energy to a woman I'd like it to be someone I know and care about who cares about me, I'd like to see her again the next day and make a bond, I knew something had changed. I understood what Osho's teaching was about.

And it released me of the burden of porn too. I've watched my share of porn like all men. Porn when used in moderation can be fun sometimes. But if you dont like being isolated, heck porn isolates you in the worst way. Rather than being focussed on others you go completely into your own bubble of your self preferences. Rather than going past your immediate base responses you get trapped deeper and deeper into them, deeper into the fantasy deeper into the fragmentation. This is the antithesis of any kind of healthy growth, sharing, community that we all so sorely need to feel complete and whole.

Men your freedom is available. Grab it.

[Winston]

Probably we could accomplish a lot more and create a lot more if we weren't so obsessed with sex. That's why, probably, the best scientists and artists probably had low sex drive. lol

Or they had good wives!

Their wives aren't usually satisfied though. Einstein's wife says that she was unhappy and they grew very distant.

[ijohn]

I like it and I enjoy spending my money that way.

This is actually a somewhat reasonable if world weary response to the human condition and how things are right now. In order to be able to live this lifestyle these are the things you have to have given up mentally, at least in a large part.

- love
- a stable home with children
- the family album with photos of vacations taken over the years; the wall where the kids heights are measured every year
- any sense of belonging, any root, a place you call home
- people you can call your own, your community
- strong source family ties, parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts uncles.
- work you are commited to on a deep level

It takes a while for anyone to come to a place where they can accept giving up on all these things, some may never be able to. But it actually is not that unreasonable.

It is men who love deeply, who have that intense emotion. Very naive men go through life thinking that women do too and end up crushed. Women in general do not love the way men do. Like cats do not attach to the owner, they attach to the house.

The feminine is largely 'empty' and gets easily conditioned. In the old patriarchy it was conditioned to devote itself to the patriarch and the house and the family. Then the home, children, family album, root, belonging and community were possible. Today in the west at least it is still conditioned but conditioned in a different way and conditioned to reject these.

It is for and with the mother's love that the family bonds and stays together. When mom has no love to give the family dies.

Work is work, almost everyone hates their job on some level.

So given all of this, this lifestyle has some sense to it. It might be difficult to contemplate, but there it is.

[Winston]

All these are good questions.

This is a lifestyle for people with more disposable money and more free time than a 9-5 Joe in Podunk Wisconsin. And someone who enjoys being a sugar daddy and who enjoys helping young ladies. It is more like a hobby.

Ideally, you should be in their country and visiting them regularly like once a week. I still cannot do as often as that it because I work in the Middle East. But I can visit them every several months. As they are still young, they are in need of tuition payments which are not much for me. I am happy with this arrangement and it is good for me. Hopefully in the very near future I can be near where they are. In the meantime, I am preparing for that.

Middle East jobs give long vacations- 40+ to 90 days a year. When I was working for the British Aerospace subsidiary in Riyadh 2 years ago, I had 64 days vacations and $4800 cash every month to spend anyway I liked. Apartments were free and transportation was free, too. Every 3.5 months I would take 20 days and visit the girls. That was not a fantasy.

If no guys here like to do that, it might mean they do not have enough time or money to live this type of lifestyle. Or they may have the money/time but you may just think it is not practical and have no inclination/disposition. And it is then, the case of, hey, whatever jerks your dodo.
I like it and I enjoy spending my money that way.

I for one would not do that were I working in the USA with its high taxes, huge expenses, a tiny disposable income, 1-2 week vacations and long flights out to Asia. That would really be illogical. And a fantasy.

That is why I am happier abroad.

But I still don't get the logic behind sponsoring them or paying them even when you're not there. What is the benefit of that? Giving them money every month while you're gone isn't going to make them loyal or monogamous. So what is the objective? Pure love and altruism?

If you wanna give your "extra money" for altruistic purposes, why don't you donate to charity or put funds into a Google Adwords program to promote this site to help other guys?

[ladislav]

But I still don't get the logic behind sponsoring them or paying them even when you're not there. What is the benefit of that? Giving them money every month while you're gone isn't going to make them loyal or monogamous. So what is the objective? Pure love and altruism?

They need to pay tuition and not only when I am there. And they need to pay rent and not only when I am there. And most are in small towns and most will be monogamous. And I am online with them and text them quite often.

If you wanna give your "extra money" for altruistic purposes, why don't you donate to charity

I do quite often and I donate art and I donate to skid row missions and every time there is a hurricane and all that. Sure.

or put funds into a Google Adwords program to promote this site to help other guys?

Well, I feel that my contributions are more suited in the sense of articles, posts, etc.

[ladislav]

The things I do make sense to me under my unique ( or rare) set of circumstances and with the values that I have.

[ladislav]

Lets itemize:

- love

Never met a person whom I loved and who loved me back and things worked out. Not for the lack of trying.

- a stable home with children

Never had it. Do not know what it feels like. Again, not for the lack of trying

- the family album with photos of vacations taken over the years;

Finished those in the 1970 ies when my family broke up because of hateful conflicts and cruelty coming from my Dad's side. A despot a tyrant and a mentally ill ,psychotic man.

the wall where the kids heights are measured every year

Never had it, never had kids, do not know what it is. There was a door jam where my height was measured but in different houses where we did not have to live but were forced to. My dad could never find work where we wanted to live.

- any sense of belonging, any root, a place you call home

Never had it. Ethnically cleansed in 1961, unable to live in the city I was born. Been knocking around the world for decades. Still not settled. Again, not for the lack of trying.

- people you can call your own, your community

Never had it as in NEVER. Nobody really wanted me within their group. Always has been an undesirable foreign body everywhere I went.

- strong source family ties, parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts uncles.

Most are dead. Died in different parts of the world. The ones that are alive have their own lives and jobs and do not like to see me around.

- work you are commited to on a deep level

It is online and portable.

Yeah, as you can see, I had a pretty shitty life. But he who has nothing, has nothing to lose. And a whole lot to gain. In the most unexpected ways.

[ladislav]

Try to understand what sexuality is, go deep into it. It has a tremendous beauty of its own. It is one of the profoundest mysteries of life. Life comes out of it -- it has to be a great mystery. Sex is not sin; repression is a sin. Sex is very natural, very spontaneous. You have not done anything to have it, it is inborn, it is part of your being. Don't condemn it, don't judge it, don't fear it, don't fight with it. Simply go into it more -- more meditatively. Let it happen in such silence, in such deep acceptance, that you can know the very core of it. The moment you penetrate to the very core of sexual orgasm you will see sex is losing its appeal for you, your energy is moving in a higher plane, you are becoming more loving and less sexual. And this happens spontaneously.

Remember, there are two types of celibates. One: who has simply forced celibacy upon himself -- he is a wrong type, he is doing violence to himself. The other: who has tried to understand sexuality, what it is, why it is; who has watched, observed, lived through it, and, by and by, has become aware of its futility; by and by, has become aware of a deep frustration that comes after EACH sexual act. In the sexual act you have a certain thrill, a moment of forgetfulness, a moment of oblivion. You feel good -- for a few seconds, only for a few seconds, you drop out of this routine world. Sex gives you a door to escape into some other world -- which is non-tense; there is no worry; you are simply relaxed and melting. But have you observed? After each sexual act you feel frustrated.

Here is my poem on the matter:

Loss of Innocence at Puberty.

So long ago I was a child
With mind so pure
And manners mild,
And dreams of treasures, valor and what not,
Of things like sailing 'round the world in my yacht.

At night I'd sit and watch
Bright planets in the sky
When they and then the stars
Would roll on by.
My mind would travel
To a distant cosmic shore,
Exploring corners of the Universe
I hadn't known before.

I could converse with trees
And birds and camels
And fish and insects,
Shrimp and gnawing mammals.

It was my Age of Innocence,
Profundity and tranquil joy.
My soul was crystal clean.
My heart was daring yet coy.

And then damn puberty arrived
Along with pimples, rock-n-roll and teenage jive
And, ruthlessly, to my dismay, my hormones then kicked in,
And then a loathsome fire started burning from within.

Oh, how raging, how wicked was that fire!
A sticky, overwhelming s*xual desire!
My inner organs started churning sperm-
Their tiny bodies would inside my body squirm.

I lost my cosmic understanding then
Becoming slowly just like the rest of men-
Possessed by billions of slick spermatazoa
Who bound my freedom like some giant boa.

All I could think of now was just thighs and breasts,
Girls' hair, buttocks, nipples, calves and all the rest.
I would spend days on end forever contemplating
Just how and when I could be copulating
With all the pretty girls at school and in my neighborhood,
And nothing in my life would be as good.

Since then, I have become a lewd and horny being,
Salacious, randy, raunchy, with my reason fleeing
Forever from my once unclouded mind,
While leaving me, detestable, behind.

A prisoner of sex, my life had now but one goal:
Of how I could fertilize them all-
Those girls and women, that is what I mean...
And so, I ended up a brainless sex machine.

I've chased them skirts for three decades and now,
My money's gone, I've been divorced; somehow
Along with many men, I've wasted years of our lives
On seeking out whores in seedy dives.
I've had VD and spent amounts unknown
To hear myself emit a lustful groan.
I've spent humongous sums of cold, hard cash
To sow my seed inside some barren gash.

All for the sake of what? Just what IS sex?
If not an awkward way of fertilizing human eggs.
T'is just a way for Mother Nature to entice
All men to either marriage or a life of vice,
To leave behind the purity and freedom they once knew
To spread around their slimy goo.

So how could I, a former cosmic child
Just turn into a beast so wild
So base and vulgar that I think, I'll never
Be pure again or as pristine or clever
As what I used to be before that puberty
Created all this vile impropriety?

And so I warn you all- do not become a slave
To procreation urges! Let them rave,
But don't you let them rule your precious brain.
If not, your whole life may be in vain.