How come young people don't like negative/deep observations?

[Winston]

Have you noticed that young people, esp white and asian, don't like hearing anything negative, even if it's true or obvious? Why is that? I find that older people, middle age and above, are more tolerant about negative truths and more open minded about hearing them and agreeing with them. But younger people immediately go into denial, spin, try to sugar coat things, or they try to use the typical "Not all are like that" argument. Then they immediately take a disliking to you for having said something negative, as though you are not a cool, hip, pleasant person to be with - even if you speak the truth and are right.

I'm talking about any negative truth in general that bothers you. Especially ones like "People are so cliquish and antisocial and don't talk to strangers." Young people hate hearing that for some reason, even if it's totally true and obvious.

I get the sense that all you can say everywhere you go are only positive things, which travel websites and travel channel programs do. Therefore you can't be too honest around young people. Instead, the only observations you are allowed to make around them are:

1. Everyone is so friendly and open! People here are wonderful!
2. The culture is so interesting and fascinating! Wow!
3. The food is so good and delicious!
4. I'm having such a great time!

That's all you're allowed to say. And that's all you'll hear on travel websites and the travel channel as well. If you say something that contradicts the above, then young people get weirded out as though you've disrupted the "flow of things".

Why doesn't anyone like to point out the disadvantages and negatives about a culture or group too? Aren't they important as well? They are very much just as real, if not more so. So why aren't you allowed to talk about them, even if they are as obvious as the blue sky? Strange!

How is it that in a world where most people are suffering, you aren't allowed to talk about anything negative, esp among the young crowd, while older people are more tolerant and open minded about negative truths? Isn't that ironic?

Anyone notice this?

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Yes I notice it. Funny that you asked this question today, because earlier I was reflecting on why the young people with whom I am studying are so put off by frank dialog. And it is not only young people now.

There is someting in the culture that encourages people to put forth an optimistic face at all costs.

Recently, Junior Seau killed himself yet his friends remarked that days earlier, he was his normal, jovial, joke-cracking self. He was obviously miserable, but felt compelled to be optimistic at all costs.

The US culture wants you to keep your head in the sand and go with the flow. If you are the bearer of bad news, you are socially defective.

Have you seen the video, Peter Schiff Was Right? He was the bearer of (true) bad news and they tried to skewer him. Some of them even laughed and mocked him. Take a look and see this principle in effect:

[Renata]

because nowadays people don't accept that there's 2 possible answers to any question, Yes & No. When u give negative response it's considered as rude but in truth it's just your opinion ... it's like why did u ask me in the first place if you can't accept my answer lol ... this world

[Winston]

So how come older people don't have as much of a problem with negative truths and observations? Why are they more tolerant and accepting and wiser about them? They don't look as disrupted about it or shun people out for it. Well, at least older men seem more tolerant of them.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

So how come older people don't have as much of a problem with negative truths and observations? Why are they more tolerant and accepting and wiser about them? They don't look as disrupted about it or shun people out for it. Well, at least older men seem more tolerant of them.

I think older people are intolerant too (Did you watch the above video?) It is just that the young people are part of the Generation Y phenomenon which makes them supremely arrogant about their opinions. The older people are just less intolerant.

The self esteem movement in education is to blame for this. Preserving children's high self-esteem at all costs has led to the mentality of optimism at all costs.

[eurobrat]

...

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Have you noticed that young people, esp white and asian, don't like hearing anything negative, even if it's true or obvious? Why is that?

Did you see this interview.

Yuri Bezmenov; ex-KGB Defector - "Deception Was My Job"

He explains why people will go into denial.

[Winston]

So how come older people don't have as much of a problem with negative truths and observations? Why are they more tolerant and accepting and wiser about them? They don't look as disrupted about it or shun people out for it. Well, at least older men seem more tolerant of them.

I think older people are intolerant too (Did you watch the above video?) It is just that the young people are part of the Generation Y phenomenon which makes them supremely arrogant about their opinions. The older people are just less intolerant.

The self esteem movement in education is to blame for this. Preserving children's high self-esteem at all costs has led to the mentality of optimism at all costs.

But you forgot something. A lot of older people are cynical too, and so they accept negative observations more easily because of their cynical mindset. Unless you have a spiritual side, you can get jaded easily in life.

Here is what an older friend of mine told me about why older people accept negative truths and observations more than young folks do.


I notice a lot of negative things about young people today. I think it's all part of the package LOL. Many people have a big ego and don't want to take on board anyone else's ideas/theories. Also, many people are in denial that there are any problems with society.

Here's my theory. Young people haven't been alive long enough to *see* the problems that we do.

If you say to a young person, "Everything is such junk these days. Poor quality." -- they have no idea what you are talking about, since China has been producing the low-quality goods they have used all their lives. They can not imagine that hour parents used to own TVs, hi-fis and other electronic products that would last 10, 15, 20 or 25 years... not 6-12 months as they do these days quite often.

If you say to a young person, "The world is overpopulated, look at this mess!", they weren't alive and 'aware' until there were at least 6 billion people on the planet. We remember 4 billion or even fewer. We remember when things like food, copper and gasoline were plentiful and cheap.

Similarly, when I expound my belief that doctors are not those wonderful, honest, caring people in white coats with stethoscopes that we were brought up to believe, but often scheming, money-grabbing, greedy, lazy, ignorant, profiteering, amoral individuals like any other human being... they find that hard to believe because society teaches you that a doctor knows all, will always cure you to the best of his ability, and won't steal your money by prescribing unnecessary hospital stays or medicine.

Older people, on the other hand, who HAVE bought TVs 30 years ago and now; who HAVE watched the news for decades and seen the changes in our world; who HAVE been fleeced and disappointed by doctors after doctor, hospital after hospital, have seen the truth, are understandably more cynical, and more prone to agree with someone who is talking "negative shit."

The same goes for the young-versus-old view of politicians, food quality, corporate ethics, the military machine, government honesty, the honesty of people in general.

Like most children, I grew up believing that, on the whole, most "big people" are "good". They are decent people, telling the truth -- they are old enough to know how to behave well, not get in trouble. They have "learned how to be good", unlike my little self, who was always getting into trouble. Maybe there were a few (just a tiny few) "bad men" who would lie and cheat and steal and murder like in the movies.

But now? I have learned the hard way that probably close on 70% of people will scam you if they are given the opportunity, and nearly everyone lies. Lying is a way of life for many people, and certainly for governments, politicians, corporations, the military, businesses protecting their profits and reputation. Most of what we see and hear each day is a false façade.

And that's why we older people cope with life better -- we know to be suspicious of many things, how to avoid the pitfalls of life, who to trust, who not to trust, what products are a good buy, what things are good for us, and so on.

And that's also why we older people agree with cynics.

Right?

[davewe]

So how come older people don't have as much of a problem with negative truths and observations? Why are they more tolerant and accepting and wiser about them? They don't look as disrupted about it or shun people out for it. Well, at least older men seem more tolerant of them.

I don't think it's really a young vs. old thing. Hell, I'm old and I don't love hearing the negative. But here's why I do agree that perhaps older guys are a little more tolerant.

Sure, like many people, I grew up arguing my opinion about most everything: politics, religion, art, philosophy, sex, etc. I got damn good at it too; captain of the debate team and all that shit. But even when I was most passionate about my opinion I realized it was just "my opinion" not an absolute truth. Yep, the other guy's opinion was moronic but he had a right to it and if I was honest with myself, he often had a kernel or two of truth as well.

But today in the Internet age no one has an opinion; he has "the truth." So a young person growing up at this time has learned that his opinion is only valid if no other valid opinion exists. We've lost the notion that most things in life are subjective realities. We must force them into becoming objective realities.

HA is a perfect example of this. It seems natural to me that subjects such as what is the best city or country to visit or move to, or which girls are sweetest or most beautiful are subjective realities - opinions. But posting after posting state opinions as absolute truths; country X is fabulous; country Y sucks - we all know this is "the truth."

If a guy posts a personal experience about a place he has visited, you can be confident that five other guys will respond that he is wrong; he must be wrong because they had a different experience or heard of someone who had a different experience.

So, it's not just whether people like the positive or the negative. They simply don't allow for the possibility that someone else has a different view, a different experience.

But hey, that's just my view. It's not an objective reality. I may be full of it

[jamesbond]

Have you seen the video, Peter Schiff Was Right? He was the bearer of (true) bad news and they tried to skewer him. Some of them even laughed and mocked him. Take a look and see this principle in effect:

Man, I just watched that video and Peter Schiff WAS RIGHT about what was going to happen in the real estate market, the economy as a whole and the stock market.

I never heard of Peter Schiff until this video, I will definitely start doing research on this guy and start listening to what he has to say about the economy! This guy sounds like Nostradamus!

[Winston]

It's not just negative observations that young people don't like though. I find that deep observations of any kind, seems to weird them out, as though it were abnormal to have deep observations. Ever notice that? They especially hate when you compare people. It's as though all you're allowed to say is that everyone is nice, friendly and great, and that's all! Nothing further or deeper than that. Ever notice that?

These are the only observations you are allowed to make around most young people:

1. Everyone is so friendly and open! People here are wonderful!
2. The culture is so interesting and fascinating! Wow!
3. The food is so good and delicious!
4. I'm having such a great time!

Why can't I go deeper and tell it like it is without putting off young people?

[ph_visitor]

Have you noticed that young people, esp white and Asian, don't like hearing anything negative, even if it's true or obvious? Why is that? I find that older people, middle age and above, are more tolerant about negative truths and more open minded about hearing them and agreeing with them. But younger people immediately go into denial, spin, try to sugar coat things, or they try to use the typical "Not all are like that" argument. Then they immediately take a disliking to you for having said something negative, as though you are not a cool, hip, pleasant person to be with - even if you speak the truth and are right.

No one who is young wants some older guy lecturing them about anything, no matter it's accurate or not.

"I am not young enough to know everything." -- Oscar Wilde.

It's the same as discussing the sorry state of the USA. Most expats are well aware of what is wrong with America and listening to a harangue or rant isn't nearly as fun in person as it is reading it on line.

[Winston]

It doesn't matter what age you are. Young people don't like negative or deep observations from people of ANY age. Stop trying to spin everything as an insult to me. That's very annoying.

[skateboardstephen]

People all ways use the ''your being negative'' deflection tactic to change the subject by labeling you as something negative when they can't disprove what it is that you are saying so that they feel they won the debate.And they think they are so smart when they do this to.

[sushiman]

I never heard of Peter Schiff until this video, I will definitely start doing research on this guy and start listening to what he has to say about the economy! This guy sounds like Nostradamus!

The guy is good. Search for his talks on the China/US relationship. He was right about the US subprime bubble and he also has sound theories on what will play out in these global economic relationships.

On Winston's topic, he's so rare in that he just talks about these things so openly with no concern
about coloring it positive/negative. Most people don't seem to know how to react to that. Guess its "head in the sand" type reaction? Who knows.