Why I am never asked out by American women not foreign?

[FutureTourist921]

I've never been overseas so I don't know what the relationshop with American men and foreign girls are like...first of all I'm black/African American and I try so hard to keep up with my looks but u finally realize that I notice from girls they don't think I'm good looking or never ever check me out....or asked me out, I have only had one encounter euth a girl in my life. It was in high school I was like a sophomore...sitting down at a table for our schools lunch break and a girl came over and put her arms around me from the back not the front-PS she never gave me her name...quite odd. She did the hug thing more than once. I've never been kissed my whole life though...and I'm 26, is time running out for me?

[MattHanson1990]

I've never been overseas so I don't know what the relationshop with American men and foreign girls are like...first of all I'm black/African American and I try so hard to keep up with my looks but u finally realize that I notice from girls they don't think I'm good looking or never ever check me out....or asked me out, I have only had one encounter euth a girl in my life. It was in high school I was like a sophomore...sitting down at a table for our schools lunch break and a girl came over and put her arms around me from the back not the front-PS she never gave me her name...quite odd. She did the hug thing more than once. I've never been kissed my whole life though...and I'm 26, is time running out for me?

Once you go overseas, girls will treat you better compared to the US, especially if you go to less economically developed nations like Russia, Ukraine, Thailand, the Philippines, Mexico, etc. Only in America is time running out for guys in their mid-20s because by age 30, most women, especially all the decent ones, are already married. And the only ones left are the fatties and single moms, but even unattractive women have no problems getting boyfriends. So as jamesbond says in America, every woman is taken.

[MrMan]

You are a man. It is not their job to ask you out.

When I was single, on the one hand, it was flattering if a girl asked me out or showed interest. But it was also just a little bit of a turn off, since I was supposed to be doing the pursing. Maybe I'm old fashioned like that.

As far as MattHannson's comment about the good wives being marred off by their 30's, a man who is a bit married can marry a younger woman.

The objective of dating should be to find a wife, not kiss as many girls as you can, or go further than that. At a certain age, women who date a lot wise up and realize they want to marry a stable man who is a good provider. The trick is to find one who has wised up young, instead of sleeping around and ruining herself before deciding to get married.

[MattHanson1990]

You are a man. It is not their job to ask you out.

When I was single, on the one hand, it was flattering if a girl asked me out or showed interest. But it was also just a little bit of a turn off, since I was supposed to be doing the pursing. Maybe I'm old fashioned like that.

As far as MattHannson's comment about the good wives being marred off by their 30's, a man who is a bit married can marry a younger woman.

The objective of dating should be to find a wife, not kiss as many girls as you can, or go further than that. At a certain age, women who date a lot wise up and realize they want to marry a stable man who is a good provider. The trick is to find one who has wised up young, instead of sleeping around and ruining herself before deciding to get married.

A lot of us who have gone overseas have dated multiple women because men have so many options overseas, and most foreign women are friendly, open, feminine, and down to earth. But here in America, most men have dry spells, either having one option every few years or no options at all; only alpha males and bad boys can get any girl they want. And people give us these useless cliches like "you'll find someone don't worry" or "you just haven't found the right one yet". Why wait for one right person when we're simply wanting to find girls to hang out with?

As far as girls asking guys out, that sometimes happens in most non-Western countries. And that's exactly what happened to me in El Paso, Texas this past November. Just a few hours before taking the Greyhound bus back up to Albuquerque, it was just me and this Tejana girl in one of the practice rooms at UTEP's Fox Fine Arts building, and she asked me to spend time with her. We decided to go to the nearly-empty student union building, and that was a huge life changing moment for me as I went from zero to rock star in El Paso.

[Chrissays]

Lol, those are terrible cliches. I highly doubt people actually believe them, but the fact there floating around confirms the problem. People who usually say shit like "you meet a girl when you least expect it" or other shit, are usually the folks who already get women, and are "giving advice" to the guys who don't.

Women don't ask out guys though, that's kinda.. Not how it happens. Men pursue, and then woman choose. Or they both kinda just go for each other in the context of "social circles" aka your FRIENDS.

Side note* it pisses me off how guys at Roosh talk about game! Game this, game that!

Dumb shit like "you need good social circle game..." Ok.. When the f**k do you "game" your friends from elementary and high school and college? That's f***ing retarded.

Or "don't worry about [insert flaw], good game will take care of that!"

Or my f***ing favorite:
"Good game will work, but good looks will make it easier.."
What the f**k? Dumb asses

Sorry long rant, but it is men who do the asking out/courting/pursuing.. Surprised you don't already know that.

PS I have a date this Sat with a Chinese girl from Hong Kong I met a Los Angeles club. I'll probably never see after our date because that's what happens everytime! I can get their phone number get a date, (guess I'm not that ugly) but I never see or hear from them after. Maybe I need better inner game! Or I need to be more touchy feely! Or I need to calibrate! Or neg! Or cocky comedy!

Holy shit I think I'm going nuts.. I was at university for like 12 hours today lol. Plus I just took a sleeping pill.

Good night!

[Signet]

The only way you are going to get asked out is if you a) basically win the lottery, or b) are either one gorgeous motherf***er, or look like you're rich. And it might not even happen with B (but you will get unmistakable, implicit permission to ask her, at least). What you're looking for is nonverbal cues that escalating is okay. If the issue is that you're not getting those (although some of us are overly paranoid, we are generally pretty good at recognizing rejection body language), then I guess you are in the right place.

If you have examined yourself honestly, and fixed (or are putting in effort to fix) what problems you may have that can be fixed, there isn't a ton of advice I can give. Depending on where you live, the bar may be set implausibly high, in which case, your solutions are either #1) accept it, or #2) leave. Anywhere you go will likely depend on you being willing to initiate though. Most women simply don't chase guys. Could you hit on them if they don't have constant bitch-shields up? If so, then relocating could solve your problems. If not, I guess my advice would be to hit on the bitches that you don't care about over and over until you realize that their rejections ultimately mean nothing, and your ego can take the hits. This is what I originally had to do. While I wanted to kill myself pretty much hourly at the time, I learned a lot from it. Then you can relocate or stay depending on where your values are at in relation to the people around you. I'd suggest relocating anyway, but that's a matter for a different topic.

It's only too late for you if you get stuck in a rut or stop trying. You can read some PUA stuff for pointers, but don't JUST read guides -- you have to actually go and DO something with it. Likewise, resist the temptation to wallow in your own misery on web forums. Eventually, complaining will become your catharsis, and action will just become a fantasy. It has happened to a lot of people, and THAT will waste time until it is too late.

[FutureTourist921]

I've never been overseas so I don't know what the relationshop with American men and foreign girls are like...first of all I'm black/African American and I try so hard to keep up with my looks but u finally realize that I notice from girls they don't think I'm good looking or never ever check me out....or asked me out, I have only had one encounter euth a girl in my life. It was in high school I was like a sophomore...sitting down at a table for our schools lunch break and a girl came over and put her arms around me from the back not the front-PS she never gave me her name...quite odd. She did the hug thing more than once. I've never been kissed my whole life though...and I'm 26, is time running out for me?

Once you go overseas, girls will treat you better compared to the US, especially if you go to less economically developed nations like Russia, Ukraine, Thailand, the Philippines, Mexico, etc. Only in America is time running out for guys in their mid-20s because by age 30, most women, especially all the decent ones, are already married. And the only ones left are the fatties and single moms, but even unattractive women have no problems getting boyfriends. So as jamesbond says in America, every woman is taken.

Your exactly right, American women don't seem to have any respect for American men, I keep trying and trying to make myself look presentable to a girl and I don't get any attention worthwhile like I said. Yea I get hit on by fat ugly american girls and single moms or just moms in general that have kids. It's annoying. That shows me that America has very little to offer in terms of dating. Yes the guy is supposed to ask the guy out, but it's more likely to happen overseas the other way around. A girl asking the guy out. You know a girl can make the first move sometimes....always giving the guy the burden job to do it all the time. I'm just never asked out, girls my age never check me out, don't look at me, say hi to me, and my parents say oh the reason why they won't say hi to you is because their strangers! That's BS!!!!! Guys and girls say hi to each other all the time, if they find one that's really attractive-a celebrity type of look..then yea..she'll say hi to you. American young women treat men here in America very rude. I'm 26 and that's what I see...I've seen it all in american women. What good quality do they really have? none i guess. Yes their more marriages here in the U.S and more relationships which pisses me off. Overseas your saying I can find more single women?

[MarkDY]

At the end of 42 I gave up on women and want MGTOW (before I know what that was) In 2008 I took my first trip to Costa Rica and younger, prettier women liked me. I got ask out and had some first date sex. I found this group and now I am planning my escape. FutureTourist921 create a profile on Latin America Cupid and hookup black women in Colombia or Brazil. There is an excellent YouTube video about Black men who travel to Brazil and get treated like kings. As an American men who have some social status in many part of the world (outside the Matrix that is the west.)

[MrMan]

Your exactly right, American women don't seem to have any respect for American men, I keep trying and trying to make myself look presentable to a girl and I don't get any attention worthwhile like I said. Yea I get hit on by fat ugly american girls and single moms or just moms in general that have kids. It's annoying. That shows me that America has very little to offer in terms of dating. Yes the guy is supposed to ask the guy out, but it's more likely to happen overseas the other way around.

My guess is, fat women find the same men attractive that hot, thin women find attractive. Single mothers are probably the same. But it could be that women with low self esteem (from being fat) lower their standards as to what they will accept. And you could also attract single mothers by giving off a 'I have a stable job' vibe or 'I am good with kids' vibe.

Let's say you went to Asia and you wanted to be asked out. In some country where the culture is more conservative and good girls are supposed to be shy, what kind of women are going to ask you out? Also, what is your objective? Are you looking for shot-term relationships or a wife? A woman who is too shy or thinks it is inappropriate to ask a man out could be a good wife.

It could be that a lot of the girls who are bold enough to ask a man out to be the slutty type, which correlates with having sex outside of wedlock, and ergo, children outside of wedlock.

I was looking for virgin. So when I lived in Indonesia, if a girl was too aggressive, that was a turn-off. I didn't have a lot opinion of a woman if she was friendly, looked at me a bit, or kind of did a middle school thing where she let someone else know she liked me who let me know. I was pretty naïve about knowing if a girl liked me, well, mainly if I wasn't into her. My radar was turned off to women I fund unattractive, which probably wasn't a good thing as it's good to be aware of that in case it effects friendships or relationships with other people.

If a woman asks a man out in some place like Indonesia, that doesn't mean she's a bad girl, I suppose. I was popular with the ladies, but they didn't directly ask me out. I met a woman on a bus and she gave me a business card after our conversation. That's a nice professional way of saying, "Here is my number" without being forward about it.

There was this one rather round girl with a plain face and short hair at one of the stores who would hit on me whenever she was me in there in the town I lived in. I said I was going home one time, and she said in Indonesian, "Can I come with you?" I didn't take her, of course. I also had a stalker who showed up outside my house, yelling up to my window in the subdivision where all could hear at about 6 AM while I was trying to sleep, "I love you" who'd talk to me about marrying me. I'd shown her no interest at all. She was apparently mentally ill. There was a girl selling Korean food on the street, an Indonesian, who just gave me this constant stare one time. She was just a little bit cute, but didn't give off the good-girl vibe I was looking for, and most girls are Muslim.

I don't think I ever had a girl there during a year or two of single-hood directly ask me out on a date. Maybe I did. I don't know. I had a friend I used to hang out with who might have suggested something, though she kept reiterating that we were just friends. She was several years older, but extremely attractive, and way too bossy to really have a long-term relationship with. I don't count her suggesting we do something as dates. We often went with another friend or more.

Come to think of it, I did have one girl ask me out. I did have a female coworker who I told I was going to go to a certain area with markets to get a leather jacket. I think she may have suggested coming with me. She was actually cute, but her hair was so short and she was another religion, so I didn't have her in my consideration set. She was very dark-skinned, too, which wasn't a deal breaker for me, but not something I normally went for. If she'd have had long hair, she would have been pretty. I thought of her as a friend. Then, on a day off, she invites me to her house to meet her mom. I'm so oblivious to girls who aren't on my radar, that I didn't realize what was happening. I got off the phone, and I called this attractive female friend mentioned above and mentioned the meal at the friend's house. She told me the woman clearly liked me, taking me to meet her mom. I had been so clueless. So I called her back and cancelled. She said she was upset with me because her mother had already started cooking the chicken. I still don't know how I should have handled it at that point. I just knew I shouldn't go over there. I'm glad I didn't lead her on after I knew what was going on. I take being asked home to meet her mom was asking me out.

Somewhere along the line, I picked up on the fact that there were subtle cues that girls liked me. There was this one young woman on a bus who told me that she liked teaching kindergarten because all the children thought she was beautiful. Oohh, this one is wanting me to tell her she is beautiful. Then she asks me how I control my libido, which of course confirmed to me that she was interested in me. I was a Christian young man, and I didn't pursue the temptation. I told her that wasn't an appropriate question to ask a young man.

Back in college in the 90's, there was this Taiwanese student, plain, kind of stout, with bit of hair coming out of her nose. She gave me her phone number. I lived out of town and worked nights or stayed in the computer lab until late and got home late. So I didn't use the phone much. But I didn't have any plans to call her anyway. It didn't even click for me that she was approaching me for a relationship by doing that because I didn't consider her to be hot, so she wasn't on my radar. Later, I saw her, and she scolded me for not calling her when she gave me her number. She seemed to me to have a skewed idea of people's obligations when it comes to phone numbers. But he didn't ask me out.

I did have a girls in the US ask me out. There was a hefty girl in my PE class who asked me to go with her in high school through a friend. Her friend came back with a question, is it because she is fat? I just said I wasn't interested in dating everyone and I didn't have to have a particular reason. How do you answer a question like that without being mean? We weren't even dating and she asked me if she was fat.

I had a girl in college ask me to study with her, and right after a girl who was 30 with a nose ring, when I was about 22, my boss actually, asked me out for a drink. It was more of a friendly thing, I suppose. But I found out later she dated men my age.

I got hit on by a prostitute once. I was traveling, and decided to stay in a cheap motel type place, just to go dirt cheap. The room was like $2 or something crazy cheap like that. Then a few Chinese dudes from China came to the place. They stood outside a room. Two Indonesian girls showed up, a 5 and a 9 point something. All three of them took a turn in the room with the 9 plus. The owner of the motel tried to have me 'play chiki chiki' with the chunky 5, which I told them was against my religion in the best language I could come up with. Later, the prostitute told me I was good-looking. But even then, she didn't ask me out on a date.

I asked a couple of girls out that I dated when I was in Korea. I never had a girl ask me out. But I did have a couple of students try to set me up with this (absolutely gorgeous, but Buddhist) fellow student from the same class, the sister of one of them, on a date. I didn't know it was a 'meeting', a Korean date, when they first took me out. I told her I didn't want to date students, which was true. She was also Buddhist, which put her out of my consideration set.

Aside from a coworker asking me to meet her mom, I can't say I've really been asked out in Asia. It seems to be more common for western women to do that, especially if they don't know you already. My point is, at least in some parts of Asia, it isn't common for women to ask men out. Women who do are outside of the norm. If you are wife-hunting, living a clean life, etc., the girls who ask you out may be unlikely to be the best matches for you.

One of the good things for my ego about living in Indonesia is, after I started picking up on cues that girls liked me (after nearly being taken home to momma that one time by a coworker) it really did boost my confidence. In Indonesia, clues would be if she gives you a gift to take home to your mother, she probably likes you and hopes to warm up someone she hopes is an in-law. I had a couple of girls do that. One gave me a handkerchief to give my mom. Someone told me that mean she probably wants to warm up the in-laws. The other woman who I was 'just friends' with, who was older than me and kind of waiting on someone else to be available gave me this big decorative thing to take home to my mom when I had my luggage carry-ons packed perfectly to be easy to carry. Maybe she had me in mind as a back-up plan after all.

A girl asking the guy out. You know a girl can make the first move sometimes....always giving the guy the burden job to do it all the time. I'm just never asked out, girls my age never check me out, don't look at me, say hi to me, and my parents say oh the reason why they won't say hi to you is because their strangers! That's BS!!!!! Guys and girls say hi to each other all the time, if they find one that's really attractive-a celebrity type of look..then yea..she'll say hi to you. American young women treat men here in America very rude. I'm 26 and that's what I see...I've seen it all in american women.

I wouldn't call not paying much attention to you if they don't know you 'rude'. Snapping at you if you ask the time or make friendly conversation is rude. You have to find an a-typical girl if you want to date in the US. But if you are looking for quality women, I just don't think the night club scene is the place to be. If you go to a club where men approach women and women shoot them down all the time, that's not the kind of environment that develops a desirable wife.

There are a lot of benefits from marrying a girl with some traditional values. Do you think the type of woman who believes strongly that a woman should respect her husband, and that wives are supposed to submit to and obey their husbands is likely to hang around a bar and shoot down the men who approach her? Those are qualities in a woman that help her be faithful and keep her sanity. It's also a lot better for the man to be married to a woman with that attitude, willing to be led. Give women to much influence and power down the road in marriage, and they get frustrated from being the one who leads. Some of them respond by getting a divorce and taking half. It makes them discontent. Maybe you can find a traditional girl in a club.

But overseas, in a lot of places, there is even a stronger social sanction against women taking the lead in a relationship, so the girls who go against that are going against an even stronger cultural norm than in the US, since our norms against women asking men out have eroded. Might not a girl in a culture like this who asks a man off be more likely to be headstrong, have no sense of shame, if she isn't slutty?

Overseas, if you want to meet women, in some cultures, you can asks if people know single friends and ask for pictures. Koreans do stuff like that. You could ask your maid, if you hired one, for pretty single relatives in a place like the Philippines.

[newlifeinphilippines]

If a woman can't show direct interest in me (ie ask me out or make it obvious she wants to be asked out) then she aint worthy of being pursued in a relationship cause thats a sign of how she will always be. I dont want a girl that I have to do all the chasing and nuances with. I got better things to do.

[traveller]

You are a man. It is not their job to ask you out.

When I was single, on the one hand, it was flattering if a girl asked me out or showed interest. But it was also just a little bit of a turn off, since I was supposed to be doing the pursing. Maybe I'm old fashioned like that.

As far as MattHannson's comment about the good wives being marred off by their 30's, a man who is a bit married can marry a younger woman.

The objective of dating should be to find a wife, not kiss as many girls as you can, or go further than that. At a certain age, women who date a lot wise up and realize they want to marry a stable man who is a good provider. The trick is to find one who has wised up young, instead of sleeping around and ruining herself before deciding to get married.

In America, it most certainly is the ladies' job to ask the guys out. Just as at American nightclubs, it's the ladies' job to ask the guys to dance with them. Just as he who asks her if she'd like to dance with him at the nightclub gets thrown out of the club, he who asks her out on a date will get rejected.

[FutureTourist921]

You are a man. It is not their job to ask you out.

When I was single, on the one hand, it was flattering if a girl asked me out or showed interest. But it was also just a little bit of a turn off, since I was supposed to be doing the pursing. Maybe I'm old fashioned like that.

As far as MattHannson's comment about the good wives being marred off by their 30's, a man who is a bit married can marry a younger woman.

The objective of dating should be to find a wife, not kiss as many girls as you can, or go further than that. At a certain age, women who date a lot wise up and realize they want to marry a stable man who is a good provider. The trick is to find one who has wised up young, instead of sleeping around and ruining herself before deciding to get married.

In America, it most certainly is the ladies' job to ask the guys out. Just as at American nightclubs, it's the ladies' job to ask the guys to dance with them. Just as he who asks her if she'd like to dance with him at the nightclub gets thrown out of the club, he who asks her out on a date will get rejected.

I agree.....I never get asked out by attractive pretty women it's probably because I am ugly...that's why I'm always eyeballed by fat ugly girls and single moms. And also it's probably because I'm black. I get no love from no female...zero. You don't know how that feels!

[FutureTourist921]

You are a man. It is not their job to ask you out.

When I was single, on the one hand, it was flattering if a girl asked me out or showed interest. But it was also just a little bit of a turn off, since I was supposed to be doing the pursing. Maybe I'm old fashioned like that.

As far as MattHannson's comment about the good wives being marred off by their 30's, a man who is a bit married can marry a younger woman.

The objective of dating should be to find a wife, not kiss as many girls as you can, or go further than that. At a certain age, women who date a lot wise up and realize they want to marry a stable man who is a good provider. The trick is to find one who has wised up young, instead of sleeping around and ruining herself before deciding to get married.

In America, it most certainly is the ladies' job to ask the guys out. Just as at American nightclubs, it's the ladies' job to ask the guys to dance with them. Just as he who asks her if she'd like to dance with him at the nightclub gets thrown out of the club, he who asks her out on a date will get rejected.

I agree.....I never get asked out by attractive pretty women it's probably because I am ugly...that's why I'm always eyeballed by fat ugly girls and single moms. Not being asks out even once means that your looks are pretty bad. I look overrated honestly. And also it's probably because I'm black. I get no love from no female...zero. You don't know how that feels!

[jamesbond]

At the end of 42 I gave up on women and want MGTOW (before I know what that was) In 2008 I took my first trip to Costa Rica and younger, prettier women liked me. I got ask out and had some first date sex. I found this group and now I am planning my escape.

Wow, that sounds awesome, you had young, good looking girls asking you out on dates when you visited Costa Rica, that would never happen in the United States. Like Winston has said, in the US women ignore men and trying to start a conversation with them feels strange and unnatural.

Thank God there are countries out there (like the Philippines and Costa Rica) where women show interest in men.

[traveller]

I agree.....I never get asked out by attractive pretty women it's probably because I am ugly...that's why I'm always eyeballed by fat ugly girls and single moms. Not being asks out even once means that your looks are pretty bad. I look overrated honestly. And also it's probably because I'm black. I get no love from no female...zero. You don't know how that feels!

[/quote]

In Illinois, especially in DuPage County, Illinois, I get eyeballed by practically nobody at all. And I actually know how it feels to be loved by nobody. In fact, I know how it feels to not only be loved by nobody even though I consider myself a nice guy, but also seeing all those young ladies moving from the suburbs into the ghetto to hook up with guys that are even downright hardened killers. I even had to unfriend a couple female high school friends on Facebook because they moved into the ghetto. One moved to the Ping Tom Park area on Chicago's near south side, one moved to Munster, Indiana. Both of those places are horribly violent with tremendously high rates of violent crime. Shootings, homicides, armed robberies, assaults, fights, you name it. It's like they're selling their souls to Satan to get their luxury, upper class lifestyles and their rich boyfriends/fiancees/husbands. A male acquaintance I knew from school I had to block because he works at a suspected MS-13 owned club in Chicago's south suburb of Harvey, which is nearly as dangerous as East St. Louis.