Middle aged and lost sex drive

[jerryrigged]

Is anyone else here in this boat?

Things just never "meshed" with you and someone of the opposite gender

Now facing midlife crisis.. Wifeless, childless, and worst yet, uninterested any more in the game. Travel is almost impossible, especially for me (unvaxxed second class citizen). The only thing left for me is to find some other new meaning for life...

[Yohan]

Is anyone else here in this boat?
Things just never "meshed" with you and someone of the opposite gender
Now facing midlife crisis.. Wifeless, childless, and worst yet, uninterested any more in the game. Travel is almost impossible, especially for me (unvaxxed second class citizen). The only thing left for me is to find some other new meaning for life...

I am not really in the same boat, married, and our adult children are visiting us regularly but are not living with us. I also have nice contact with my Filipina fosterdaughter in Cebu. I am not really alone, however in general Japan is not known to be a country of communicative citizens.

I have to say that after passing my 60th birthday, I got clearly less interested into anything regarding to sex, and same happened to my wife, same observation. We are of same age, getting old now near to our 70.

I don't know how old you are, but first step would be a regular health check, including PSA testing to make sure you are OK seen from a medical point.
I also don't know if you have a regular job now and about your contacts to other people nearby your home.

I think, you have to look for more activity, for example domestic travel is not impossible, you can move around in the States by car and motorcycle.

Unvaxxed? If you consider international travel in future, there will be no other way but to get vaccinated for entering many foreign countries.

You need also to look for some activity in case of cold winter, bad weather - otherwise you feel life is getting boring. I check out about foreign languages, some technical hobbies, visit some temples and museums and shopping malls nearby...

If weather is fine I move around by motorcycle or with wife with our car to some nearby hilly forests or to the sea, or we drive to another city not to far away and stay there overnight in a hotel. Also go out for long walks to stay fit. Luckily we are retired, have good retirement allowance, medical care up to end of life.

You should try to see your life more in a positive sense.

To be wifeless and childless in Western countries as a man is not always a bad thing either, I am sure many men will agree to that, especially after a costly divorce.

[jerryrigged]

Is anyone else here in this boat?
Things just never "meshed" with you and someone of the opposite gender
Now facing midlife crisis.. Wifeless, childless, and worst yet, uninterested any more in the game. Travel is almost impossible, especially for me (unvaxxed second class citizen). The only thing left for me is to find some other new meaning for life...

I am not really in the same boat, married, and our adult children are visiting us regularly but are not living with us. I also have nice contact with my Filipina fosterdaughter in Cebu. I am not really alone, however in general Japan is not known to be a country of communicative citizens.

I have to say that after passing my 60th birthday, I got clearly less interested into anything regarding to sex, and same happened to my wife, same observation. We are of same age, getting old now near to our 70.

I don't know how old you are, but first step would be a regular health check, including PSA testing to make sure you are OK seen from a medical point.
I also don't know if you have a regular job now and about your contacts to other people nearby your home.

I think, you have to look for more activity, for example domestic travel is not impossible, you can move around in the States by car and motorcycle.

Unvaxxed? If you consider international travel in future, there will be no other way but to get vaccinated for entering many foreign countries.

You need also to look for some activity in case of cold winter, bad weather - otherwise you feel life is getting boring. I check out about foreign languages, some technical hobbies, visit some temples and museums and shopping malls nearby...

If weather is fine I move around by motorcycle or with wife with our car to some nearby hilly forests or to the sea, or we drive to another city not to far away and stay there overnight in a hotel. Also go out for long walks to stay fit. Luckily we are retired, have good retirement allowance, medical care up to end of life.

You should try to see your life more in a positive sense.

To be wifeless and childless in Western countries as a man is not always a bad thing either, I am sure many men will agree to that, especially after a costly divorce.

Due to my health problems I cannot receive vaccinations.. I have a history of adverse reactions. The specialist doctors have said its unsafe. So I've written off international travel honestly. There are some places that allow unvaccinated visitors, but because I need to stay here for at least another year, I imagine the hold outs will all require vaccines in the future. I think I am just going to stay here in Boston for another year and then check to see what my options are, both domestically and internationally. I imagine international will be shut since I'm unvaxxed, but we'll see. Anyway, I'm moving. Probably to a rural area. There's just absolutely nothing fun about the cities anymore in the USA. I have one of those life stories that theres just not much "good" to be taken from. I'm a survivor and thats about it. I have some crazy stories to tell about experiences I had while I was travelling, but its all part of the past now. Ive all but reconciled that my ability to live abroad is probably over due to the pandemic. I am just not sure how to move "forward" with my life at this very moment domestically because I am so used to being overseas before covid hit..

[jerryrigged]

You could probably still marry someone young and start a family, a lot of aging playboys eventually go down that road. It'll allow you to pass along whatever wealth and knowledge you've acquired along the way, and it will give you some sense of meaning. If the marriage part scares you, which nowadays is quite understandable for legal reasons, I suppose you could also do all that minus the actually putting a ring on her finger part.

Your sex life might have lessened significantly, but this could also be hormonally linked, as testosterone levels go down when a man's age increases. There are ways to counter this through diet and lifestyle changes, which would in turn also benefit your health. Losing one's sex drive is far from "normal", and a lot of middle aged and even elderly men I know are naughty fuckers with no signs of slowing down. Sure seems to keep them busy.

Yes I don't think that its normal. I dont think its related to mental health though, more related to physical health. I've been just sort of shriveling up in the last few years and I know my T is very, very low. I don't weigh much and hardly eat anything. I exercise what I can with my health issues but thats about it... Just walking and sometimes light swimming activities in the pool. I have problems with severe autoimmunity affecting organs as well. I don't feel as though I could satisfy a normal, healthy, sexual relationship with anyone right now. I wouldn't mind a close female friend or two, though. Hard thing to come by in the USA with my problems.

[Yohan]

... I imagine international will be shut since I'm unvaxxed, but we'll see. Anyway, I'm moving. Probably to a rural area.

You are still living in a city? I was thinking you moved already to a rural area, I thought I read something about Wyoming. Maybe I mistaken that with another member...

I don't know if you still have to work or if you are retired - if retired, I can only say, better move to a rural area - I also moved away from Tokyo after retirement to the outskirt of a much smaller city, the best decision I ever did. Better air, cheaper housing, more silent, less people around.

For now, you can anyway travel within USA without restriction I guess, and this is a very wide area.

About international travel, I guess within one year not only plenty of vaccines, but oral medication too will be on the market and likely covid-19 will become far less aggressive, just like a flu-similar harmless illness. I am very confident, very optimistic about that.

A lot of medical research and construction of new pharma factories are going on here in Japan and South Korea, but products are not ready yet for mass production and sale.

I really think vaccination requirement (using a needle or a dripper) will be outdated in 2023 for most international tourists in many countries because of bilateral agreement, for example between Japan and USA. Testing on arrival maybe yes, it might still exist, but no proof of vaccination.

[jerryrigged]

... I imagine international will be shut since I'm unvaxxed, but we'll see. Anyway, I'm moving. Probably to a rural area.

You are still living in a city? I was thinking you moved already to a rural area, I thought I read something about Wyoming. Maybe I mistaken that with another member...

I don't know if you still have to work or if you are retired - if retired, I can only say, better move to a rural area - I also moved away from Tokyo after retirement to the outskirt of a much smaller city, the best decision I ever did. Better air, cheaper housing, more silent, less people around.

For now, you can anyway travel within USA without restriction I guess, and this is a very wide area.

About international travel, I guess within one year not only plenty of vaccines, but oral medication too will be on the market and likely covid-19 will become far less aggressive, just like a flu-similar harmless illness. I am very confident, very optimistic about that.

A lot of medical research and construction of new pharma factories are going on here in Japan and South Korea, but products are not ready yet for mass production and sale.

I really think vaccination requirement (using a needle or a dripper) will be outdated in 2023 for most international tourists in many countries because of bilateral agreement, for example between Japan and USA. Testing on arrival maybe yes, it might still exist, but no proof of vaccination.

I own some land in Wyoming and its on my list of possibilities right now. I am also retired. The monoclonal mouse antibodies (regeneron) is already working really well. I just don't trust the government that this is only a public health issue. I don't think they have any plans at all for things to go back to any semblance of pre-covid life. As the WHO director general, Tedros Adhanom said, within the forseeable future, there will be no return to the old normal. Klaus Schwaub said the exact same thing a year before I'll just trust them on that. There was no return to normal after 9/11, there will be no return to normal this time, either. I think the future of large scale international travel is bleak at best. You may disagree, but forgive me for being far more cynical. When I am around young, pretty ladies I still feel attracted to them. However, online dating here in the USA for an old (and ugly!) guy with health problems... I'd rather waste my time doing something else, because it goes nowhere. And with my complete loss in libido, I don't even think about it anymore. I am just going to have to find some kind of hobby like restoring a car or something. Women are just sort of out of the picture for me at this stage in my life I am afraid.

[Guhji]

Is anyone else here in this boat?

Things just never "meshed" with you and someone of the opposite gender

Now facing midlife crisis.. Wifeless, childless, and worst yet, uninterested any more in the game. Travel is almost impossible, especially for me (unvaxxed second class citizen). The only thing left for me is to find some other new meaning for life...

Pretty much where I'm at. Do you like animals? You could get yourself a small parcel in the country and raise livestock, maybe have a few dogs.

[jerryrigged]

Is anyone else here in this boat?

Things just never "meshed" with you and someone of the opposite gender

Now facing midlife crisis.. Wifeless, childless, and worst yet, uninterested any more in the game. Travel is almost impossible, especially for me (unvaxxed second class citizen). The only thing left for me is to find some other new meaning for life...

Pretty much where I'm at. Do you like animals? You could get yourself a small parcel in the country and raise livestock, maybe have a few dogs.

Yes I've thought about at least keeping carrier pigeons wherever my next location happens to be...

[Yohan]

I own some land in Wyoming and its on my list of possibilities right now. I am also retired.
.....
I think the future of large scale international travel is bleak at best. You may disagree, but forgive me for being far more cynical.
.....
I am just going to have to find some kind of hobby like restoring a car or something.

I am by far less pessimistic than you are.

International travel is usually not about what the WHO (a Chinese controlled agency) says, but about agreements between two countries.

In case of USA - Japan I am very optimistic, that even people who can prove they cannot be vaccinated will be allowed as tourists into Japan, same also with South Korea.

Today in all Japan only 47.613 active cases are known and registered out of 126 million people and the count is still declining more and more every single day since beginning of this month.

I think rather back to normal in 2022 or at the latest in 2023 with many countries worldwide, especially Europe - it should be possible also for you again to travel outside of USA.

To look out for a long-term hobby and to move to a rural area away from the large cities is a good plan, you should go ahead soon with it as you said you are already retired, not depending on a regular job for a living.

After retirement and moving out from Tokyo, I also consider to activate my radio amateur station again as a hobby but I am still looking around to rent a small landplot on a hill...and to replace international travel with domestic trips...many forests with temples and shrines in Japan, many small islands etc.

See the world in a positive way - forget about women, there are other activities too, and also concentrate on your own health. Good luck!

[yick]

You lose your interest in women the older you get - which is meant to be good as you can tell these young women doing your head in to f**k off!

They're nice to look at but what are you going to do for the other 23 hours and 58 minutes if you end up landing one?

I teach this age group of women for a living and one was telling me about her crushes (she's 20...)



Does anyone think for one second she would be interested in some fat, middle aged foreigner if the above is what she finds attractive? I am sure it is the same in Thailand and foreigners wonder why their young bit o' stuff rips them off of their money when they're stupid enough to marry them.

[yick]

I own some land in Wyoming and its on my list of possibilities right now. I am also retired.
.....
I think the future of large scale international travel is bleak at best. You may disagree, but forgive me for being far more cynical.
.....
I am just going to have to find some kind of hobby like restoring a car or something.

I am by far less pessimistic than you are.

International travel is usually not about what the WHO (a Chinese controlled agency) says, but about agreements between two countries.

The UK have got an agreement with the Americans that they can now travel to each others countries from November
and these two countries are two of the most infected countries on the planet so I am sure more agreements will take place over the coming months - however, the obvious caveat is that vaccinated persons will only be allowed to travel - I doubt any country wants unvaccinated foreigners coming on over. It is how this shitshow started in the first place.

[Yohan]

International travel is usually not about what the WHO (a Chinese controlled agency) says, but about agreements between two countries.

....however, the obvious caveat is that vaccinated persons will only be allowed to travel - I doubt any country wants unvaccinated foreigners coming on over...

Of course, in general the HEALTHY foreign tourist will not be allowed to enter if not vaccinated.

However in case a vaccination is not possible for medical reasons (transplants, proven severe allergies etc.) and the person can prove this with a medical certificate, I think such person will be allowed in - but these special formalities have to be pre-arranged a few weeks before departure with the related embassy for visa, airline to be allowed to board etc...

It is too early to say how the covid-19 virus will develop. It is possible like Spanish Flu - now the seasonal harmless flu - it will mutate to nothing else but a nasty but harmless flu-like disease.

Also the ability to jump over from human to human might be significantly lower as more people will be vaccinated with updated vaccines.
In Japan und South Korea are now many human trials going on with oral medicine, not related to vaccine.
To prevent infection in future you might use nasal sprays (and not masks anymore) and in case of infection you need only to take about 10 pills within three days and the virus is gone.

The intention is to replace needle and dripper for vaccination and medical treatment of covid-19.

There is also other reseach going on to combat this virus worldwide. For example a large Japanese LED producer developed a special LED emitting a strange very strong blue light - it will kill any covid-virus in the air or on surfaces within 30 seconds - the idea is to fix such a unit within air conditioners, hand dryers etc. - No need to use alcohol for cleaning your hands anymore.

https://www.euronews.com/2021/03/15/inn ... oronavirus
https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Materi ... ial-makers

I guess we will know much more within the next 1 to 2 years. It takes some time not only for research and clinical trials, but to develop all these products for mass production to be able to treat many millions of people and/or to create a wide virus-free environment to a reasonable price.

I am very optimistic, but maybe I am wrong...We will see...

[jerryrigged]

The nature of government is once its gets a wiff of more power it never lets it go. It doesnt matter if covid really killed anyone or not. That is what a lot of people fail to understand. I am an unvaccinated second class citizen and will remain so for life. If Japan really is doing medical exemptions, awesome, but right now the government in AMerica doesnt even recognise my own "exemption" -- a history of severe autoimmune reaction to vaccination and vaccine injury. "This is a different vaccine!" they say. Like I give a shit? You want me to play russian roulette with a needle again? Again, my fraustrion with all of this has nothing to do with you Yohan. Youve actually been really nice about all this. But apparently the only "exemption" they are letting fly with this vaccine is "allergy to one of the vaccine ingredients"............. An autoimmune reaction is not the same thing at all as anaphylaxis.... And people STILL THINK that having this vaccine does anything at all to prevent transmission. They havent made a vaccine to DATE that prevents ANY upper respiratory illness from spreading that I am aware of. If you know of one, let me know... Even the BCG vaccine only decreases the rate of TB infection in kids by something like 20%. And thats not even a virus.. Its a bacteria... Totally different type of immunology etc. This is why there is no vaccine for the common cold virus. Anyway, I didnt want to turn this into a covid thread... But I hope youre right... HOPEFULLY the government really are the GOOD GUYS and get this under control... Government are nothing more than monopolised global organised crime circuits IMHO... GOOD LUCK with them!!! All I do is focus on my health and I am still miserable, thats the naature of chronic pain, I suppose... Endless focus, endless misery. I had some fun in my younger days. Sometimes thats all us geezers have to hang on to. People are slowly figuring out that the rural life sure beats the city life.. .ESpecially in modern era... Good for you for figuring this out for yourself. You'll probably live longer, too.... Breathing better air...