Do Daughters Exist To Help Ruin Marriages?

[TRADER1972]

I know this is controversial, but I need to get this out. It has been my limited experience that daughters are very effective at getting parents to be pitted against each other. Either outwardly manipulative or in an indirect manner, either way, it can really screw things up or make things much worse. My entire childhood and my parents marriage was ruined, and I blame 90% of it on the female child in my house. I refuse to call her the s word.

I think some of the answer lies in a mothers natural inclination to side with her daughter if the father is a disciplinarian.
I experienced this growing up with my mother(who always favored her female offspring) and now its happening in my house.

For some reason, these women do not want men to put expectations on the daughters.

If you have experienced this or have insights into this phenomenon, please share.

[odbo]

i'm not in the mood to try to figure this very complex american phenomenon out but i will say, my sister is a total bitch and cancer of our family. most of my friend's sisters are complete bitches as well. selfish and zero appreciation for others, except their friends (who act more like enemies)

[BellaRuth]

Feel that I should comment being a daughter myself and having three sisters.

Not seen any evidence for this to be honest. In fact I think daughters prefer to have a strong family unit and romanticise the relationship their parents have whilst sons are more independent.

Maybe you've just got a nasty sister.

I also disagree that its the mother's inclination to side with the daughter. In fact I think mothers can often be a lot harder on their daughters and fathers can be quite relaxed, hence the term 'daddy's girl'. Fathers can be strict over things like clothing and boyfriends but I don't think in general they lay down the law much with daughters, they just want to protect them, keep them safe and innocent, which is not something a mother would care to object to.

As an aside, my grandmother is well-known for adoring men over women. She's always favoured her sons over her daughters and whenever she sees any of us girls with our partners she asks about the men. One of my sisters was pregnant and my grandmother just said, 'oh! How's David coping?" I think there's more of arguement over the opposite sex child being more spoilt.

My heart melts at seeing cute little boys playing with dinosaurs or pretending they are planes, my boyfriend thinks little girls are cuter, especially when they are skipping with unicorn balloons or or singing Disney songs. If we had children, I'd expect more from a daughter (although my boyfriend would spoil and protect her far more) and I imagine it'd be opposite with a son- I'd spoil him to death, whilst I can imagine my boyfriend being strict and expecting him to achieve certain things in life.

There's all kinds of different people out there- but I don't think there's any real basis for saying daughters are particularly divisive or that mothers and daughters try to push the father out.

[C.J.]

Haha, I've seen it WAY too much to not be conclusive that daughters can, and were meant to, really ruin a marriage. At least in the US anyway.

I was in one of those families that had too much admiration for the daughter. Guess how the sons turned out.

[djfourmoney]

i'm not in the mood to try to figure this very complex american phenomenon out but i will say, my sister is a total bitch and cancer of our family. most of my friend's sisters are complete bitches as well. selfish and zero appreciation for others, except their friends (who act more like enemies)

That's where the term frienemies comes from. Not really your friends, not really your enemies.

I wouldn't say Daughters are cancers to most families just a few. As was said before, human nature (at least in this culture) focuses on the negatives instead of the positives.

The movement was never called into question, now that it is, its in a controlling position politically and in the media, it makes it harder to push back against.