What's the deal with Advice

[ExpandMindset]

It's weird. I am wondering if any of your parents gave you their advice when making a decision. My parents are doing that to me. Long story short, I am planning to move to Chicago, Illinois from Charlotte, North Carolina. Yeah, it's not Brazil, Germany, or Phillippines, but I think I will be happier there than here. Plus I am already planning a trip to Germany this year!

My dad's advice was not necessarily bad, but it's always like staying in the same place is better than making a move. The grass is not always necessarily greener, but I am tired of using that reason as to not making moves. I'd rather try something and it not work, than wonder what if.

I got a nice lecture about how I don't do this and I don't do that and that it's my fault about have a lack of a social life. Things won't change unless I change. Blah, blah, blah. I understand I do shoulder some of the blame, but I am to blame if people are anti-social, unfriendly, and overall stupid? I am to blame when I do not connect with people?

Am I to blame if I approach a girl and she shoots herself in the foot?

Point is I could fix it here, but if I don't enjoy it here that much anyway, so what's the point? I don't get extra points for degree of difficulty! Plus I do have some international friends that I could hang out with in Chicago, and I have visited a few times and vibe is more me.

Down here it is much more closed off, women are looking for rings, I'd argue that this area is worse for single men than many places. But I guess it is also individualistic in that a place maybe great for 1, but shitty for another.

Winston, did you parents ever try to talk you not going to Russia? or Phillippines? Anyone else?

[Winston]

Well a little bit, but they knew that I was very unhappy in California and needed a change, and they could not do anything to help me either, since their social network was small and also very conservative and noneventful.

Advice in general though, doesn't tend to do much. I can't recall when great things happened after following someone's advice. Usually you have to follow your heart and inner calling to find your destiny. Advice is just pure selective opinion.

Some though can give you great insights that will help you see clearer, yes. Many wise people can do that for you. But no one can tell you what to do or know what's best for you. Only you can know that.

[FreeYourMind]

Although a minority of Americans move around a lot in their lives as adults, most never leave the area where they were born and grew up. They lack ambition and imagination. They might as well be living in the days when horseback was the only means of transportation and to go to a neighboring village was a big deal.

[onezero4u]

warning.
unsolicited advice below:

chicago is a hardcore democratic city, strictest guns laws & corresponding high victim rates, current cocksucker mayor Daily possibly to be followed by bigger cocksucker rahn emanuel & cold as f**k....

why go there? if youre going to take the trouble to move, make it worth your while and go somewhere more MGTOW-ish.

[ExpandMindset]

Because flat out with what you said, Chicago is still better than where I'm currently at! Plus there are more foreign girls there so it's a start.

[onezero4u]

man you must be in a hell hole if chicago is better.

if you want foreign girls, why not study up - save up and take the bold move of going overseas where the REAL foreign woman are.

most foreign chicks in US are soon corrupted into bitchy insufferable american woman with funny sounding names.

if you want baby steps..go to chi-town. if you want to get what you really want...take the jump overseas to the place that best suits your needs.

good luck whatever you do.

[ExpandMindset]

It is not a hell hole. It's very nice. Just very boring and not conducive to the single man. For a family or a dude with a wife or serious girlfriend, it is a good place.

[have2fly]

I lived near Chicago for a long time and would go to party downtown Chicago very often.

The city is beautiful (besides winter), Chicago falls out of place with other Midwest, which is totally redneck/hilly-billy. Thank God for Chicago being there because it was my safe Heaven from complete retardation, lack of culture and social life while I lived in the Midwest.

I used to hit tons of Russian clubs in Chicago, there are available Russian girls there. There is a famous one called "Petergoff" which is somewhere near Wheeling, northern suburbs where most Russian-speaking people live. The club is filled with Russian-speakers on Fridays.

I love strict gun laws. As for growing up European, I never figured out what the hell is about gun loving culture in the US. Has anyone watched Lord of War with Cage? I think if you have less guns, it is much safer for everyone. If someone is going to take a shot, it will be too late for you to pull out your gun anyway etc. I totally hate this Southern love for guns here in the south.

Oh yea, Chicago. Weather does suck for about 4-5 months a year. I don't know how people manage to commute via Metra light rail from suburbs to downtown and walk in frigid cold to work. Living expenses are a bit high considering a lot of tolls, high rent price and gas price etc. As far as girls - there is a much better social life in general, but if you don't drive a Mercedes or Lexus it will be really hard to make yourself stand out in Chicago, especially downtown, where people pull up in Ferrari during the summer time. Any club in Chicago is also filled with tons of hungry men that had no girl for 10 years, like anywhere in the States actually. I haven't yet seen a state where they have more girls than guys at the club.

Also you can't expect to wear a hoodie with cheap jeans and make an impression. If you hit a Polish club in Wheeling, called Accent cafe, you will notice only luxury cars on the parking lot, but when you get into the club - you will be amazed with how dressed (overdressed?) those guys are! It's amazing! Try going to Saks, Neiman Markus etc. There are definitely very hot girls there, but EXTREMELY stuck up! Polish or Russian, they just run around the club not knowing what to do with themselves, like their American fellows do. It's no different at all. American behavior and social interaction infects foreign girls within 2-3 years after they get "off the boat". They may even become bitchier, nastier and dumber than American girls, one of the reasons is that suddenly ALL hot guys are chasing after her after no one even looked at her in Russia or Ukraine. They think they are queens, but it takes another 5-6 years for them to understand that American guys are as shallow, empty and self-centered as American girls are. Then they get completely overwhelmed and start feeling sorry for even moving to the USA, but they CAN'T go back! It's too late, they are too old or have kids etc. Now those girls are ultimately the best because as Russians say "life beat them up", now they understand that they are not really queens because everyone wants to just get laid and nothing else. Unfortunately, only a small percentage of girls get to this stage. Some of them never figure out why they are so unhappy and what is going on around them and which country are they living in. Many immigrants are afraid of the idea that this country of the great US of A could have a bad social culture. How could it be? It's the best country on Earth. Hollywood said so, CNN said so. Well, too bad. I wish I'd thought so, but I just could not even imagine that problem is not me, but others around.

I got a bit off topic. I would make a move to Chicago if you are OK with frigid winters, but don't expect to have amazing luck with foreign girls. As others advised, just make a move abroad. Not necessarily Asia, get TEFL or CELTA certificate and go to teach English in Hungary or Czech republic or Slovakia etc. Despite what your father said, my parents always told me to move to other places because "life is short, you have to experience it in all kinds of ways while you are young and have no kids. That travel and life time will also allow you to pick the best place to raise your children and build your family." I totally agree with that quote.

[globetrotter]

Advice:

If you give someone advice and they take it and it works out well, they won't give you credit or thank you.

If you give someone advice and they take it and it does not work out well, they will blame you.

If you give someone advice and they don't take it and it works out well, they will mock you forever.

If you give someone advice and they don't take it and does not work out well, they will blame you for not convincing them more strongly.

You can't win so let people do what they wish.

[Jackal]

My father has been dead for a long time, so he couldn't give me advice, and my mother is European anyway, so she encouraged me to move to Europe and was jealous that she couldn't move back there too.

I can understand that a big city like Chicago is more interesting than some hick town down south.

But why are you travelling to Germany? You'd experience more of a contrast with America if you went to a former Eastern Bloc country or to Russia itself--or to Turkey.

If you're looking for castles, the rest of Europe outside of Germany has plenty of them. If you're looking for P4P, you can find that much cheaper in Easter Europe. You're a sucker if you pay for that in a country which has the Euro. Also, hotels and food will be much cheaper where they don't have the Euro yet. In these places, you can rent a f***ing apartment for 50 USD a night. f**k western Europe.

[onezero4u]

strict gun laws favor the criminals (the ones who dont follow the gun laws)

no brainer...an armed publc is a safer public.

[djfourmoney]

strict gun laws favor the criminals (the ones who dont follow the gun laws)

no brainer...an armed publc is a safer public.

I can never seem to follow that logic.

An Armed Public in the sense of an American Armed Public is the worst case scenario if I have ever heard one. Criminals will still believe ultimately you won't pull the trigger or that unless local statues allow it, won't be able to conceal your weapon. In fact, I would say anybody carrying a gun is looking for something to happen to give them an opportunity to use it because I don't personally know many people that are victims of robbers or thief by force.

There too many scenarios that I can think of that a gun will be of no value to you at the time of an incident.

I'd say eliminate poverty in a sense that people that don't want to be poor have a way out and we don't force people into poverty due to life's circumstances. That and taking Mental Health more seriously and not fearing the Government will commit you because you like to talk to yourself, will go along way into decreasing crime. Don't get me started on failed drug policy and the many other problems with American society as it currently is configured.

[keius]

The logic is quite simple really. In an ideal environment, where there is an 'absolute' no gun law where there really are no guns, it would definitely be safer, from an idealistic standpoint.
Can't really deny that. BUT.....

The reality is that in the US, it simply isn't feasible. Criminals will always be able to get guns, laws or no laws. The average law abiding citizen follows the laws, keeping them
from having the guns. That makes them walking victims. Criminals know that draconian gun laws exist and that it is easier to victimize people because they won't be armed.
In places where shall issue carry laws exist, criminals know they are at risk and know that they are taking risks themselves. These places tend to have lower crime rates.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have areas in Canada, England, etc where guns have been pretty much banned entirely. Crime rates have skyrocketed in those areas because
the criminals are still able to obtain guns while the law abiding citizen won't. Sure makes things tempting for the criminals right? You can look up the statistics yourself.

In Maryland, US, specifically Baltimore, you will find articles in the local paper detailing how criminals with multiple (6 iirc) gun/burglary/robbery convictions are still walking the streets packing illegal heat. Why?
Gun laws don't apply to them. Our prisons are overpopulated. Everyone gets released with a light spanking and a tsk tsk (relatively)....until they actually kill someone....at which point they'll be released 10 years later for
good behavior...and be packing illegally AGAIN. The problem isn't enacting new gun laws to restrict law abiding citizens, the problem is enforcement of existing gun laws. Reforming criminals is a joke. It isn't working.
New gun laws will not change this environment.

I reiterate once again, gun laws do NOT protect the average citizen in the US. It only protects criminals. Circumstances are different in different countries but not in the US. Illegal guns are simply
too easy to obtain. I could take a 15 minute drive downtown...and purchase a gun for a couple hundred bucks....illegally. Just have to know where to get them.

The gun ban laws "mostly" work in places such as China since the average criminal won't be able to obtain such weapons, not so in many western countries.
As for the argument that guns should be removed entirely from the US population, that's neither realistic nor feasible.

BTW, when someones life is on the line (and his families), you better believe a person will pull the trigger.
As for eliminating poverty, well..... Americans have turned into a country of lazy asses with a misguided sense of self-entitlement
All our socialist policies aren't helping either.

strict gun laws favor the criminals (the ones who dont follow the gun laws)

no brainer...an armed publc is a safer public.

I can never seem to follow that logic.

An Armed Public in the sense of an American Armed Public is the worst case scenario if I have ever heard one. Criminals will still believe ultimately you won't pull the trigger or that unless local statues allow it, won't be able to conceal your weapon. In fact, I would say anybody carrying a gun is looking for something to happen to give them an opportunity to use it because I don't personally know many people that are victims of robbers or thief by force.

There too many scenarios that I can think of that a gun will be of no value to you at the time of an incident.

I'd say eliminate poverty in a sense that people that don't want to be poor have a way out and we don't force people into poverty due to life's circumstances. That and taking Mental Health more seriously and not fearing the Government will commit you because you like to talk to yourself, will go along way into decreasing crime. Don't get me started on failed drug policy and the many other problems with American society as it currently is configured.

[momopi]