Why do people keep saying women like bad boys?

[romparoo]

Keep hearing this sort of irks me. I think this is an oxymoron. It's like saying playing basketball makes you taller. It's true to a certainly extent, but by and large it's hogwash. Basketball players are tall because tall people get it easier and so they stay in the game while shorter people leave due to gradual lost of interest.

The same can be said about women. Women don't like bad boys, but they only like a small group of men. Since these small number of men get it so easy, needless to say they eventually become douchebags. What respect will you have for women if you can change your girlfriends like changing socks?

Seriously most women need some real common sense in choosing who to go for.

[Banano]

Keep hearing this sort of irks me. I think this is an oxymoron. It's like saying playing basketball makes you taller. It's true to a certainly extent, but by and large it's hogwash. Basketball players are tall because tall people get it easier and so they stay in the game while shorter people leave due to gradual lost of interest.

The same can be said about women. Women don't like bad boys, but they only like a small group of men. Since these small number of men get it so easy, needless to say they eventually become douchebags. What respect will you have for women if you can change your girlfriends like changing socks?

Seriously most women need some real common sense in choosing who to go for.

you are right on the money,
have you ever known a girl that was fat and had crooked nose and then she starts going to gym and have nose jobs done and all of a sudden she is hot shit?

Once you start getting attention you devolop cocky bad boy attitude, same goes for girls and boys

[terminator]

Keep hearing this sort of irks me. I think this is an oxymoron. It's like saying playing basketball makes you taller. It's true to a certainly extent, but by and large it's hogwash. Basketball players are tall because tall people get it easier and so they stay in the game while shorter people leave due to gradual lost of interest.

The same can be said about women. Women don't like bad boys, but they only like a small group of men. Since these small number of men get it so easy, needless to say they eventually become douchebags. What respect will you have for women if you can change your girlfriends like changing socks?

Seriously most women need some real common sense in choosing who to go for.

But it's true:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESLsT7st ... sults_main[/youtube]

[Cornfed]

The same can be said about women. Women don't like bad boys, but they only like a small group of men. Since these small number of men get it so easy, needless to say they eventually become douchebags. What respect will you have for women if you can change your girlfriends like changing socks?

Clearly this factors in to exacerbate their douchebagishness, but it is well known there is a pre-existing preference for douchebags. One reason is that in most societies low status douchebags are simply killed, so douchebags come across as high status and therefore desirable. Another reason is that douchebags have a reproductive advantage in this society in that they can pump and dump the wives and girlfriends of other men and wandering skanks. Women impregnated by douchebags inherit this reproductive advantage if they have sons who take after their douchebag father. This is why you see somewhat normal looking women going around with tat-plastered crackheads and such.

Seriously most women need some real common sense in choosing who to go for.

Obviously women are not capable of common sense.

[Jester]

The solutions are:

(1) Become a douchebag

OR

(2) Allow douchebags and skanks to go on with your lives, and you go on with yours. Ignore them, get what YOU want.

[Exod]

I believe the only universal is confidence tied to social acceptance. Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin and aren't social outcasts. They want to associate with a man who can navigate his environment smoothly and can guarantee, at least potentially, a stable social/group life and access to resources to her and her offspring. The environment changes, the rules of attraction change.

Then how this is expressed in practice is largely a cultural and environmental thing. It just so happens that the gangsta/thug shtick signals high social status and acceptance in Anglo countries, apparently at some sort of overarching pop culture level, women sense this and are consequently attracted to it. If society demonized them, or at least lionized another archetype, women would act differently.

The "bad boy" should go to Europe or Asia or the Middle East and then report back, assuming he manages to stay alive.

Or out of jail...

[Dark_Sol]

I believe the only universal is confidence tied to social acceptance. Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin and aren't social outcasts. They want to associate with a man who can navigate his environment smoothly and can guarantee, at least potentially, a stable social/group life and access to resources to her and her offspring. The environment changes, the rules of attraction change.

Then how this is expressed in practice is largely a cultural and environmental thing. It just so happens that the gangsta/thug shtick engenders signals high social status and acceptance in Anglo countries, apparently at some sort of overarching pop culture level, women sense this and are consequently attracted to it. If society demonized them, or at least lionized another archetype, women would act differently.

The "bad boy" should go to Europe or Asia or the Middle East and then report back, assuming he manages to stay alive.

Or out of jail...

Exod, you got it pegged. I just came from a bar and hot chicks were going for "Alphas" who were all talk. Ironically, some of these guys started to inquire about me when alone. Asking questions like if it was ok to leave a car and such in a nonparking zone, where I've been and other shit. To these "Alphas" I was a sense of authority or some shit, but I just tell them that I am just a guy enjoying a few sports and drinking my wine. I am an outcast by society's standard, I can't conform. Guys I use to work with called me caveman, cause I had raw power and aggressive. I only feel in place when I am in a crazy and insane situation by America's standards. These suppose "Alphas" were nowhere near me, I could slaughter them all. I hang out in many different places, biker bars and such. Not once have I ever had a problem, except a Bonfire party with punk kids, I ended up breaking a punk's jaw.
I guess what I am saying is that you are f***ed if you can't be what society dictates what you should be. I got so f***ed up by society that I can't operate properly, I just can't understand people. It's to the point where I can't hit on a girl without fear of being charged or outcasted. I lost supposed friends who are Betas, the people they know spread rumors of me and that outcasted me. Shit, I have a hard time talking and interacting with girls in forgien countries, they even ignore me.

[Dragon]

I believe the only universal is confidence tied to social acceptance. Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin and aren't social outcasts. They want to associate with a man who can navigate his environment smoothly and can guarantee, at least potentially, a stable social/group life and access to resources to her and her offspring. The environment changes, the rules of attraction change.

Then how this is expressed in practice is largely a cultural and environmental thing. It just so happens that the gangsta/thug shtick engenders signals high social status and acceptance in Anglo countries, apparently at some sort of overarching pop culture level, women sense this and are consequently attracted to it. If society demonized them, or at least lionized another archetype, women would act differently.

The "bad boy" should go to Europe or Asia or the Middle East and then report back, assuming he manages to stay alive.

Or out of jail...

Exod, you got it pegged. I just came from a bar and hot chicks were going for "Alphas" who were all talk. Ironically, some of these guys started to inquire about me when alone. Asking questions like if it was ok to leave a car and such in a nonparking zone, where I've been and other shit. To these "Alphas" I was a sense of authority or some shit, but I just tell them that I am just a guy enjoying a few sports and drinking my wine. I am an outcast by society's standard, I can't conform. Guys I use to work with called me caveman, cause I had raw power and aggressive. I only feel in place when I am in a crazy and insane situation by America's standards. These suppose "Alphas" were nowhere near me, I could slaughter them all. I hang out in many different places, biker bars and such. Not once have I ever had a problem, except a Bonfire party with punk kids, I ended up breaking a punk's jaw.
I guess what I am saying is that you are f***ed if you can't be what society dictates what you should be. I got so f***ed up by society that I can't operate properly, I just can't understand people. It's to the point where I can't hit on a girl without fear of being charged or outcasted. I lost supposed friends who are Betas, the people they know spread rumors of me and that outcasted me. Shit, I have a hard time talking and interacting with girls in forgien countries, they even ignore me.

This sounds like a self-esteem and skewed perspective problem a.k.a "I'm stuck in this box and I can't get out." This was sort of the problem I had for a long time. I think you're focusing too much on being a pariah and outcast in society. You should realize it doesn't mean anything because there is nothing meaningful in this society to feel like you should belong to. Instead you should start being adaptive and flexible.

Dress a little nicer. Run a few laps each day to get your blood pumping. Get some interesting hobbies going or research something. Take a local community college class on how to play guitar. Basically, improve yourself both mentally and physically. You live in a time where regardless of how many friends people have, they will often times feel alone and empty, so it doesn't matter if it you fit in or not.

You have no idea how much I changed just by realizing the options that open up to me in terms of women. So many countries to go to and so many women waiting to be conquered by me.

[romparoo]

You have no idea how much I changed just by realizing the options that open up to me in terms of women. So many countries to go to and so many women waiting to be conquered by me.

There's a difference between actually having options, and you think you have options. Statement like yours should be treated with extreme care. That's what I thought before I actually started my journey, because there are always someone who wrote something to that line. I hate it because it gives people a false sense of hope, setting up for a big future disappointment. Now I don't know how far you are in your happier abroad journey. But my humble opinion is that it's pretty much a pipe dream, unless you are talking about the Philippines or p4p. That's not my cup of tea anyway. I also debunked the FSU route in some other thread. No average man will be conquering women anywhere (any kind of p4p is not counted, that includes casual beneficial relationship that is skewed towards providing in exchange of something).

If you talk about a typical Chinese girl, I think it is not that difficult. I had a uni student background and there're lots of Chinese girls (international students). Lots of wife material too. There were a few that I could go after with a reasonable amount of success because they actually hinted that they were comfortable with me around. But I didn't because in all honesty, they are not really that good looking. And I am not referring to anywhere near drop dead gorgeous level. I wasn't being picky.

I think many folks are angry about local women and just throw out the 'happier abroad' phrase too easily thinking that the grass is always greener elsewhere. So far I have yet to see that the happier abroad route is practical and reasonably achiveable. Distance relationship, especially writing letters, is by and large useless, because the most important element of relationship: escalating intimacy, cannot be achieved by writing.

[Dragon]

You have no idea how much I changed just by realizing the options that open up to me in terms of women. So many countries to go to and so many women waiting to be conquered by me.

There's a difference between actually having options, and you think you have options. Statement like yours should be treated with extreme care. That's what I thought before I actually started my journey, because there are always someone who wrote something to that line. I hate it because it gives people a false sense of hope, setting up for a big future disappointment. Now I don't know how far you are in your happier abroad journey. But my humble opinion is that it's pretty much a pipe dream, unless you are talking about the Philippines or p4p. That's not my cup of tea anyway. I also debunked the FSU route in some other thread. No average man will be conquering women anywhere (any kind of p4p is not counted, that includes casual beneficial relationship that is skewed towards providing in exchange of something).

If you talk about a typical Chinese girl, I think it is not that difficult. I had a uni student background and there're lots of Chinese girls (international students). Lots of wife material too. There were a few that I could go after with a reasonable amount of success because they actually hinted that they were comfortable with me around. But I didn't because in all honesty, they are not really that good looking. And I am not referring to anywhere near drop dead gorgeous level. I wasn't being picky.

I think many folks are angry about local women and just throw out the 'happier abroad' phrase too easily thinking that the grass is always greener elsewhere. So far I have yet to see that the happier abroad route is practical and reasonably achiveable. Distance relationship, especially writing letters, is by and large useless, because the most important element of relationship: escalating intimacy, cannot be achieved by writing.

Well, I was exaggerating a little, but of course, even overseas, your mileage may vary. The average fat and boring slob won't be creating a harem of Euro hotties any time soon. I did mention that you should be constantly improving yourself mentally and physically. It helps tremendously I would suspect. A lot of factors come into play in the dating scene, even overseas.

1). What race are you? Yes, it matters. Winston didn't have any luck in the FSU either, largely due to his race. Most EE women simply aren't interested in Asian guys. Your race dictates what doors close for you and what opens.

2). What is your age? This also matters because it dictates how young of a girl you can get (which often correlates to how attractive she is).
Some countries are more strict on the age gap than others.

3). What is your education and income level? I believe your socioeconomic status dictates a lot of your success.

4). Can you live in a desired country? I agree writing letters is largely useless. What's keep you? Financial factors?

[Ghost]

.

[Dark_Sol]

I believe the only universal is confidence tied to social acceptance. Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin and aren't social outcasts. They want to associate with a man who can navigate his environment smoothly and can guarantee, at least potentially, a stable social/group life and access to resources to her and her offspring. The environment changes, the rules of attraction change.

Then how this is expressed in practice is largely a cultural and environmental thing. It just so happens that the gangsta/thug shtick engenders signals high social status and acceptance in Anglo countries, apparently at some sort of overarching pop culture level, women sense this and are consequently attracted to it. If society demonized them, or at least lionized another archetype, women would act differently.

The "bad boy" should go to Europe or Asia or the Middle East and then report back, assuming he manages to stay alive.

Or out of jail...

Exod, you got it pegged. I just came from a bar and hot chicks were going for "Alphas" who were all talk. Ironically, some of these guys started to inquire about me when alone. Asking questions like if it was ok to leave a car and such in a nonparking zone, where I've been and other shit. To these "Alphas" I was a sense of authority or some shit, but I just tell them that I am just a guy enjoying a few sports and drinking my wine. I am an outcast by society's standard, I can't conform. Guys I use to work with called me caveman, cause I had raw power and aggressive. I only feel in place when I am in a crazy and insane situation by America's standards. These suppose "Alphas" were nowhere near me, I could slaughter them all. I hang out in many different places, biker bars and such. Not once have I ever had a problem, except a Bonfire party with punk kids, I ended up breaking a punk's jaw.
I guess what I am saying is that you are f***ed if you can't be what society dictates what you should be. I got so f***ed up by society that I can't operate properly, I just can't understand people. It's to the point where I can't hit on a girl without fear of being charged or outcasted. I lost supposed friends who are Betas, the people they know spread rumors of me and that outcasted me. Shit, I have a hard time talking and interacting with girls in forgien countries, they even ignore me.

This sounds like a self-esteem and skewed perspective problem a.k.a "I'm stuck in this box and I can't get out." This was sort of the problem I had for a long time. I think you're focusing too much on being a pariah and outcast in society. You should realize it doesn't mean anything because there is nothing meaningful in this society to feel like you should belong to. Instead you should start being adaptive and flexible.

Dress a little nicer. Run a few laps each day to get your blood pumping. Get some interesting hobbies going or research something. Take a local community college class on how to play guitar. Basically, improve yourself both mentally and physically. You live in a time where regardless of how many friends people have, they will often times feel alone and empty, so it doesn't matter if it you fit in or not.

You have no idea how much I changed just by realizing the options that open up to me in terms of women. So many countries to go to and so many women waiting to be conquered by me.

I go running, 4 times a week, swim when it's warm, hike with 100lb ruck and many more. I participate in charities and conventions. I have good friends now, it's just that most are 50+ and I'm 28. The guys around my age are married and have a family. As for dressing, I wear good clothes, I get complimented a lot by people. In the end of the day, I just go back home to an empty room. I have no family and my friends need time with their family.

The me now is way better than a year ago, shit I almost died and was in a coma for a month. It's just I really need to watch what I do and say around people, the only one I can talk and act normally is my childhood friend. He went through and did the same stuff I did.

[Dragon]

I believe the only universal is confidence tied to social acceptance. Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin and aren't social outcasts. They want to associate with a man who can navigate his environment smoothly and can guarantee, at least potentially, a stable social/group life and access to resources to her and her offspring. The environment changes, the rules of attraction change.

Then how this is expressed in practice is largely a cultural and environmental thing. It just so happens that the gangsta/thug shtick engenders signals high social status and acceptance in Anglo countries, apparently at some sort of overarching pop culture level, women sense this and are consequently attracted to it. If society demonized them, or at least lionized another archetype, women would act differently.

The "bad boy" should go to Europe or Asia or the Middle East and then report back, assuming he manages to stay alive.

Or out of jail...

Exod, you got it pegged. I just came from a bar and hot chicks were going for "Alphas" who were all talk. Ironically, some of these guys started to inquire about me when alone. Asking questions like if it was ok to leave a car and such in a nonparking zone, where I've been and other shit. To these "Alphas" I was a sense of authority or some shit, but I just tell them that I am just a guy enjoying a few sports and drinking my wine. I am an outcast by society's standard, I can't conform. Guys I use to work with called me caveman, cause I had raw power and aggressive. I only feel in place when I am in a crazy and insane situation by America's standards. These suppose "Alphas" were nowhere near me, I could slaughter them all. I hang out in many different places, biker bars and such. Not once have I ever had a problem, except a Bonfire party with punk kids, I ended up breaking a punk's jaw.
I guess what I am saying is that you are f***ed if you can't be what society dictates what you should be. I got so f***ed up by society that I can't operate properly, I just can't understand people. It's to the point where I can't hit on a girl without fear of being charged or outcasted. I lost supposed friends who are Betas, the people they know spread rumors of me and that outcasted me. Shit, I have a hard time talking and interacting with girls in forgien countries, they even ignore me.

This sounds like a self-esteem and skewed perspective problem a.k.a "I'm stuck in this box and I can't get out." This was sort of the problem I had for a long time. I think you're focusing too much on being a pariah and outcast in society. You should realize it doesn't mean anything because there is nothing meaningful in this society to feel like you should belong to. Instead you should start being adaptive and flexible.

Dress a little nicer. Run a few laps each day to get your blood pumping. Get some interesting hobbies going or research something. Take a local community college class on how to play guitar. Basically, improve yourself both mentally and physically. You live in a time where regardless of how many friends people have, they will often times feel alone and empty, so it doesn't matter if it you fit in or not.

You have no idea how much I changed just by realizing the options that open up to me in terms of women. So many countries to go to and so many women waiting to be conquered by me.

I go running, 4 times a week, swim when it's warm, hike with 100lb ruck and many more. I participate in charities and conventions. I have good friends now, it's just that most are 50+ and I'm 28. The guys around my age are married and have a family. As for dressing, I wear good clothes, I get complimented a lot by people. In the end of the day, I just go back home to an empty room. I have no family and my friends need time with their family.

The me now is way better than a year ago, shit I almost died and was in a coma for a month. It's just I really need to watch what I do and say around people, the only one I can talk and act normally is my childhood friend. He went through and did the same stuff I did.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Do you have enough time and money? You should start traveling if you haven't already done so. This is what this site is about anyway. Maybe you'll discover something about yourself or obtain new goals in life.

[Jester]

...I just came from a bar and hot chicks were going for "Alphas" who were all talk. Ironically, some of these guys started to inquire about me when alone. Asking questions like if it was ok to leave a car and such in a nonparking zone, where I've been and other shit. To these "Alphas" I was a sense of authority or some shit, but I just tell them that I am just a guy enjoying a few sports and drinking my wine. I am an outcast by society's standard, I can't conform. Guys I use to work with called me caveman, cause I had raw power and aggressive. I only feel in place when I am in a crazy and insane situation by America's standards. These suppose "Alphas" were nowhere near me, I could slaughter them all. I hang out in many different places, biker bars and such. Not once have I ever had a problem, except a Bonfire party with punk kids, I ended up breaking a punk's jaw.
I guess what I am saying is that you are f***ed if you can't be what society dictates what you should be. I got so f***ed up by society that I can't operate properly, I just can't understand people. It's to the point where I can't hit on a girl without fear of being charged or outcasted. I lost supposed friends who are Betas, the people they know spread rumors of me and that outcasted me. Shit, I have a hard time talking and interacting with girls in forgien countries, they even ignore me.

I'm starting to see you as a younger version of Danny Trejo:
http://www.tvrage.com/person/id-8225/Danny+Trejo

Sounds to me like bars are better for chitchat boys, and that you would be better off in a different environment. Honestly, you probably scare people - in the sense of not being chatty and approachable.

Aren't you the young vet who is studying to be a chef? Just become a working chef, and be yourself, and waitresses will all sleep with you. Waitresses are all extroverts who love a guy like you.

Just don't go to bars.

Another idea: take up a hobby like floral arranging. or making sketches in a public place. Something introverted but artistic, not scary. It will give women a chance to see who you are inside, and then approach you.

[Jester]

1). What race are you? Yes, it matters. Winston didn't have any luck in the FSU either, largely due to his race. Most EE women simply aren't interested in Asian guys. Your race dictates what doors close for you and what opens.

I agree with this. But I just want to add a counterexample. My beautiful Sovakian assistant, maybe an 8 out of 10 on looks, blonde and petite, quiet, obedient, trustworthy, diligent, feminine, submissive, brilliant, has just given birth to her first child -- by her Vietnamese husband.

Do most EE/FSU women go wild for Asians? I don't think so. But if it's what YOU want, you CAN get it. Comparing to Winston is not really relevant. He is not looking for a wife most of the time. I think all of us men could go higher up the scale of difficulty if we were offering a ring.

Seize the day.