How many of you guys feel at a dead-end?

[mattyman]

If you're unhappy at home that is.

How many are lonely, don't get social contact with women, social access to women, don't have the right connections and social circles to gain access to new women.

This lack of social contact with women, even just for social contact is driving me mad. I can't cope with it any longer, it's getting too much, especially with the warm weather and girls dressing all skimpy, seeing mixed-sex groups and couples.

Of course, if I complain about lack female company, I will just get told to try those awful online dating sites(sigh). Plenty of fish and other free sites, we all know what's on those don't we?

The trouble is with that option, besides the obvious; the skanks, hoe's and fatties dominating, is that there's f**k-all in their profiles to relate to, to use as a talking point.

I've tried everything, you name it, meet-up events, dance classes and walking groups. Trouble is, anything that doesn't revolve around heavy drinking and loud music seems to be mostly older people. I've tried expanding my social horizons through conventional means, but find I just can't meet my needs.

In order to meet women, or even just have the social opportunity to talk to them, (nice, normal, pretty, non-skanky, non-rough, non-vain ones) I have to seek opportunities in other cities. It's dire, it really is.

How many people here are, or more like, have been in circumstances similar to mine and have moved-on?[/list]

[Temprano26]

I was driven to be suicidal in the year 2009 due to everything you just stated. I couldn't stand the Dallas area one second longer. I chose to do volunteer work in Costa Rica and it was the best decision I ever made. I felt like I was seeing the world for the first time because suddenly people could look me in the eye instead of looking away from people. Within three days there I felt like a happy and healthy human being. Being happy became a natural thing to me. Smiling people became a norm.

To hell with the USA and its miserable people.

[Wolfeye]

Yup, all that rings true for me. Also, feeling like I'm in enemy territory (posted on this about a month ago). Another thing is that I worry about if I DO find someone, what is the future going to look like for both of us? I figure I might hit the jackpot (finding a woman, having some kids, maybe some friends or at least getting along with the in-laws), but then how's the environment going to be at that point? I'm going to be constantly worried that someone's going to get locked-up or "go ahead" and do something that gets made out to be a non-issue (which is more & more of an instituted risk, than just a geneal "what if?") & I figure I'm not going to be able to enjoy it- never mind if any of this happens!

Also, what are things going to be like for the kids & grandkids growing up? Not even as far as danger goes, I mean socially & trying to do things. Every damn thing has a law or a price tag attached to it in some way & it's hard to find somoene that isn't trying to poke holes in everything you do sometimes. Shit, a lot of times it's like agreement is defeat to people here! How's the kid going to have friends or meet anybody? What about intellectually starving? Since kids want to learn new things, especially when they're growing up, but they don't really learn much in school & they DO block you from trying to learn other things in that school- I could see mental proficiency being an issue. Lack of mental stimulation is a bit of an unsung issue on it's own & it's a common thing here. I've often wondered if having so much done in your place by technology or other people is a cause for general depression, in itself.

[zboy1]

I was also unhappy and depressed before moving to China. Now, I feel content--even though the Chinese government does some stupid things here like blocking Facebook and YouTube on the Internet, or dealing with the ridiculous bureaucracy here. At least in China, I meet beautiful women and actually get to date them...and have a good social life.

I've made some Chinese friends here, and the people here are genuinely nice--except for the rampant materialism and greed that is infected China to a large degree, unfortunately. ...

Also, I hate that American culture is slowly starting to spread throughout China--including feminism and Hollywood filth, but thankfully, China is still about a decade or two away from becoming another 'America.'

Overall, it's been fun--and I have even lost nearly 30 pounds, since being in China. That, and I'm much happier too!

[green1976]

I feel your pain man.
I'm moving abroad..i'm struggling for more than 15 years...only relieved by short trip to Thailand who have kept my mental sanity.
This time i hope it's game over for France,for Western women,for western society and their value.
Never again i want to see their f u c k ing faces,the shit they are.
I'm fed up..fed up to have to bow my face because i can't go on a spree and i can't be myself.

This time,i just want to be surrounded with non feminist women...not the other pathetic human being they call women in the West.
I hate with passion their values,what they stand for,what they do in their daily life,what they are,and what they want me to be.

It has being a long road..i agree the prospect are bleak if you don't have some money or some circumstances who makes the move possible.
Most men are stucked in the Western world having only Western women as daily women to meet.
What a disgrace really...it has been a very long time i haven't been so happy to quit all this disgusting circus as i don't want to be the clown others guys wish to be just to put their dicks on some pussies.
I totally don't care being labeled a sociopath..yes i am in some way a loner,a weirdo in a country like France haha.
I don't give a f**k..i'm moving abroad so f**k off all their meds,the psy options they give to castrate stupid guys who don't have other possibility to shut their libido.

The time is coming and when the time is there..i won't be anymore on this website.
When i'm happier abroad..when i live the life fully..they are no reason for me to continue to post here.
Finally it sounds that it's arriving.

[hammanta]

Like the others I totally relate to this. Not sure how old you are but I'm a guy in his early 20's and I become depressed like a couple times a week. College was fun though I still kinda hated the women but at least I was surrounded by them and got some attention. Then college ended, friends moving away, getting married, and/or having kids. My social circle went from 20+ down to 3 or 4 good friends and one girl who I could hook up with if I wanted but isn't fun. I work a job that gives me great experience but pays barely enough to get by. I also live in a rural town of about 5000 people so women prospects aren't good at all. I love traveling and have been to a few different countries and it truly is the best feeling in the world. Just to be away with the possibility of meeting awesome new people and new friendly women at that. I'm a decent looking guy but nothing overly special. My friends lack the desire to do things with their lives and I'm forced to do things myself. Most weekends are me and my couple of friends, if that, sitting around drinking beer and talking about what we want to be doing with our lives. I'm gearing my career towards an international route so hopefully I can be out of this hell hole in the next few years if I'm lucky.

[mattyman]

My social circle went from 20+ down to 3 or 4 good friends and one girl who I could hook up with if I wanted but isn't fun

Very similar situation to you

The only actually attractive girl I meet up with now (who's actually pretty, good company, is a balance of fun and flirty, with warm and empathetic and a bit of depth) is extremely unreliable and is very hit and miss with regards calls and texts, with the greatest tendency to reply only when she wants to go out drinking (usually ending-up getting pissed as a fart). When she's not like that she's great, though this is another topic. However, I rarely get to see her now, and the problem is meeting new women in general.

My friends lack the desire to do things with their lives and I'm forced to do things myself

Pretty much the same here mate. A lot of my little group are just so stuck in their own little bubble.

[/quote]Most weekends are me and my couple of friends, if that, sitting around drinking beer and talking about what we want to be doing with our lives

This pretty much describes my situation too. Shameful it is to admit, but it's the truth. One of the greatest complaints I have about my social circle is that I don’t really feel like I'm on the same wavelength.

The only thing socially that I do locally is a CS meet in a nearby city. I actually get to have interesting conversation, talk to new women, who I can actually be myself around. Whilst that's something up from nothing, it's still only one evening a week at most, depending on whether I can make it or not; 1 hour by train, 20 minute cycle from my house to station. I know people from that group at least, even if I don't have ready access to them. I find I fit in a lot better amongst them than I do with a lot of the younger people I meet locally.

[hammanta]

My social circle went from 20+ down to 3 or 4 good friends and one girl who I could hook up with if I wanted but isn't fun

Very similar situation to you

The only actually attractive girl I meet up with now (who's actually pretty, good company, is a balance of fun and flirty, with warm and empathetic and a bit of depth) is extremely unreliable and is very hit and miss with regards calls and texts, with the greatest tendency to reply only when she wants to go out drinking (usually ending-up getting pissed as a fart). When she's not like that she's great, though this is another topic. However, I rarely get to see her now, and the problem is meeting new women in general.

My friends lack the desire to do things with their lives and I'm forced to do things myself

Pretty much the same here mate. A lot of my little group are just so stuck in their own little bubble.

Most weekends are me and my couple of friends, if that, sitting around drinking beer and talking about what we want to be doing with our lives

This pretty much describes my situation too. Shameful it is to admit, but it's the truth. One of the greatest complaints I have about my social circle is that I don’t really feel like I'm on the same wavelength.

The only thing socially that I do locally is a CS meet in a nearby city. I actually get to have interesting conversation, talk to new women, who I can actually be myself around. Whilst that's something up from nothing, it's still only one evening a week at most, depending on whether I can make it or not; 1 hour by train, 20 minute cycle from my house to station. I know people from that group at least, even if I don't have ready access to them. I find I fit in a lot better amongst them than I do with a lot of the younger people I meet locally.

[/quote]

Agreed! Its funny you mention couch surfing as I feel this is a good resource many on the forum don't utilize. I was thinking about posting a write up about it. Unfortunately, as mentioned, I live in a rural area so couch surfing here is useless. Definitely a good resource to meet people when traveling and isn't quite as awkward as online dating.

[newlifeinphilippines]

tell us more about cs?

[hammanta]

tell us more about cs?

I've never actually stayed on anyone's couch but on my last trip in Manila, I met up with a whole group of locals and tourists from the site. Now granted I did meet two girls (unattractive) from there but my purpose was not getting a date but merely meeting locals and seeing things I wouldn't see otherwise. I also met a guy from Italy, another from Korea, and a few Brits that were good chats and drinking buds. There is always something going on in Manila, whether it be a couch surfing meetup event or camping or even parties.

Just make a profile on the site, post in the Manila forum that you are looking for things to do around the city, and I'm sure you will get tons of hits. I was invited by locals to camp, scuba dive, and go climb Mt. Pinatubo. Unfortunately I already had other plans so couldn't partake. For quick dates to get laid it's not the site but by broadening your social circle there are good possibilities for meeting women you wouldn't else meet, especially if you live there.

[abcdavid01]

I was also unhappy and depressed before moving to China. Now, I feel content--even though the Chinese government does some stupid things here like blocking Facebook and YouTube on the Internet, or dealing with the ridiculous bureaucracy here. At least in China, I meet beautiful women and actually get to date them...and have a good social life.

I've made some Chinese friends here, and the people here are genuinely nice--except for the rampant materialism and greed that is infected China to a large degree, unfortunately. ...

Also, I hate that American culture is slowly starting to spread throughout China--including feminism and Hollywood filth, but thankfully, China is still about a decade or two away from becoming another 'America.'

Overall, it's been fun--and I have even lost nearly 30 pounds, since being in China. That, and I'm much happier too!

Being in China right now I definitely agree with all of that with what I've seen so far.

[zboy1]

I was also unhappy and depressed before moving to China. Now, I feel content--even though the Chinese government does some stupid things here like blocking Facebook and YouTube on the Internet, or dealing with the ridiculous bureaucracy here. At least in China, I meet beautiful women and actually get to date them...and have a good social life.

I've made some Chinese friends here, and the people here are genuinely nice--except for the rampant materialism and greed that is infected China to a large degree, unfortunately. ...

Also, I hate that American culture is slowly starting to spread throughout China--including feminism and Hollywood filth, but thankfully, China is still about a decade or two away from becoming another 'America.'

Overall, it's been fun--and I have even lost nearly 30 pounds, since being in China. That, and I'm much happier too!

Being in China right now I definitely agree with all of that with what I've seen so far.

See! But all I have ever seem to get from people on this forum is hate and criticism. LOL!

[mattyman]

On the same note; every time I have been away, even if it's a month in France, renovating a monastery as a voluntary project, which I did in September, or a few days in Amsterdam, I never felt homesick.

[NorthAmericanguy]

If you're unhappy at home that is.

How many are lonely, don't get social contact with women, social access to women, don't have the right connections and social circles to gain access to new women.

This lack of social contact with women, even just for social contact is driving me mad. I can't cope with it any longer, it's getting too much, especially with the warm weather and girls dressing all skimpy, seeing mixed-sex groups and couples.

Of course, if I complain about lack female company, I will just get told to try those awful online dating sites(sigh). Plenty of fish and other free sites, we all know what's on those don't we?

The trouble is with that option, besides the obvious; the skanks, hoe's and fatties dominating, is that there's f**k-all in their profiles to relate to, to use as a talking point.

I've tried everything, you name it, meet-up events, dance classes and walking groups. Trouble is, anything that doesn't revolve around heavy drinking and loud music seems to be mostly older people. I've tried expanding my social horizons through conventional means, but find I just can't meet my needs.

In order to meet women, or even just have the social opportunity to talk to them, (nice, normal, pretty, non-skanky, non-rough, non-vain ones) I have to seek opportunities in other cities. It's dire, it really is.

How many people here are, or more like, have been in circumstances similar to mine and have moved-on?[/list]

I said it before on here that all forms of major socialization revolves around drugs and alcohol in the U.S. If you don't drink or do drugs, then you just cut out 90-95% of people to hang out with, or rather, they don't want to hang out with you as you make them feel uncomfortable for not doing what they do. F*** it, because drinking and doing drugs makes you physically weak and stupid in the long run.

As far as music, I love hard hitting loud music, but today they only play the same crappy pop rap and the sound systems are not set up properly to make you really feel the music and have an eargasm. Back in the 80's and 90's they played the best music, such as House music, and the sound systems at certain famous now defunct clubs were custom made for the building so the sound was the best in the world.

Anyhow, I can relate to your post. All I can say is you have to have something such as working out, pursue something spiritual, or some type of hobby that you can deeply throw yourself into to keep you sane until you can make an escape overseas for either temporary or permanent relief. Unknowingly to most men like us, we have to adapt the life of a monk in order to survive. It is what it is..

[NorthAmericanguy]

Like the others I totally relate to this. Not sure how old you are but I'm a guy in his early 20's and I become depressed like a couple times a week. College was fun though I still kinda hated the women but at least I was surrounded by them and got some attention. Then college ended, friends moving away, getting married, and/or having kids. My social circle went from 20+ down to 3 or 4 good friends and one girl who I could hook up with if I wanted but isn't fun. I work a job that gives me great experience but pays barely enough to get by. I also live in a rural town of about 5000 people so women prospects aren't good at all. I love traveling and have been to a few different countries and it truly is the best feeling in the world. Just to be away with the possibility of meeting awesome new people and new friendly women at that. I'm a decent looking guy but nothing overly special. My friends lack the desire to do things with their lives and I'm forced to do things myself. Most weekends are me and my couple of friends, if that, sitting around drinking beer and talking about what we want to be doing with our lives. I'm gearing my career towards an international route so hopefully I can be out of this hell hole in the next few years if I'm lucky.

Yep, my best years were from high school and college in terms of happiness in this country. I was also part of a track team during those years so it was like I had a small family that I use to spend time with every day from 3-5pm and the girls and boys had relationships with each other with ease as we spent so much time with each other.

I will never forget my track team in California met at beach during the end of the season and had a bonfire while watching the sunset while eating hotdogs and roasted marshmallow. It was great. But those days are over. Many of my teammates have multiple children and/or they're married.