Problems With Being An Empath

[Lucas88]

Do any of you guys perceive certain disadvantages with being an empath towards others?

Yes, I definitely do perceive certain disadvantages to being an empath. I myself am naturally empathic and even consider myself a recovering pathological altruist but, in recent years, I've come to realize that being an empath is an objectively irrational mindset to have in today's society of extreme selfishness and cutthroat competition and so I've made somewhat of an effort to drop the empath thing for the most part while becoming more skeptical of others.

Similar to your case, I too was let down by quite a few people who I considered friends. I soon realized that many people in my life were solely motivated by self-interest and only came to me when they wanted some sort of favor only to swiftly disappear whenever the shoe was on the other foot.

I used to be quite naïve about human nature. I assumed that because I was a kind and empathic person and was always willing to help those around me most other people would be the same but, then after travelling the world a bit more and studying people in greater depth, it became clear to me that far more people than what I'd previously thought were nothing more than selfish cretins out there only for what they can get and even looking to screw over others for material gain should the opportunity arise. I then realized that most people aren't worth helping at all.

Being an empath in this kind of system is wholly irrational. The sole purpose of life under capitalism is to get ahead and outcompete others for wealth and status. A large portion of the population has imbibed that same hypercompetitive mindset wholesale. That's how they see the world and anybody who gets in their path is either an opportunity to exploit or an obstacle. In light of this stark reality, it makes much more sense to see most other people as potential enemies barring a select few. We certainly shouldn't show empathy or perform acts of kindness for ignoble people who don't deserve our empathy and kindness. And, if we're willing to touch the dark side ourselves, we have the option to look to outcompete or even proactively screw over such people. This is arguably the most rational mindset to adopt in today's extremely selfish and cutthroat world.

As empathic souls we do indeed possess a spiritual gift which would otherwise be a blessing in a highly evolved and enlightened society. However, this same spiritual gift is largely counterproductive in this current society of limitless greed and competition and so it behooves us to suppress it to a large degree and restrict it only to select occasions. We as empaths are perhaps on the vanguard of a high-vibrational mode of consciousness - one of an Aquarian nature characterized by empathy, sensitivity and cooperation - but we have arrived too soon and are ill-suited to the low-vibrational world in which we currently find ourselves. That said, I do find it a curious exercise to consciously suppress my empathic nature in order to adapt to a world in which greed and egoism prevail. I don't see it as a self-betrayal but rather as a test of my own versatility.

[fschmidt]

Why is sympathy for others a good thing? Is it good to have sympathy for cockroaches? If not, how this is different?

The Old Testament says to love one's neighbor, not all of humanity. Who is one's neighbor? A member of one's group. My group is Arkians, so I have sympathy for Arkians.

Does that mean that I don't give a damn about others? Not quite, I do care in the sense that I wish most of them were dead, much like cockroaches.

[willymonfrete]

As an empath I realize most people are products of pavlovian conditioning and thus don't know nor can do better with what their environment has conditioned them to be.I just hope for a better world and mode of production in which cutthroatness is not rewarded but punished with expulsion from the group.

If someone asks me for food,I buy it for them even though I know it would put a dent in my pocket due to limited funds,simpely because I know hw it is to be hungry growing up.

there are certain things you just cannot change as an empath.

I am lucky that I have a good sister that I have a very intimate relationship with.

[Lucas88]

As an empath I realize most people are products of pavlovian conditioning and thus don't know nor can do better with what their environment has conditioned them to be.I just hope for a better world and mode of production in which cutthroatness is not rewarded but punished with expulsion from the group.

Sometimes I oscillate towards some level of misanthropy due to my bad experiences with a fair few people but ultimately I always come back to the following realization – people with such low-vibrational traits and behaviors are simply acting in accordance with the quality of their own consciousness and therefore have little or no choice in the matter. Conversely, if I am able to behave empathically and manifest high-vibrational traits and behaviors, it is simply because my current quality of consciousness allows for it. Given that our quality of consciousness is largely outside of our immediate control, it makes little sense to harshly judge others for the way they behave.

Usually, whenever I begin to hold misanthropic views about the people around me, I'll encounter one or more random acts of kindness which tell me that there is still some goodness in humanity, even if selfishness and indifference are the default state for most people.

For example, I remember when I was once loitering around a park at night in Valencia and a pizza delivery guy assumed that I was homeless and offered to give me a free pizza. I wasn't homeless. I just like to go out at night because I love the darkness of the night sky and the way it contrasts with the bright lights of the city and so I often go to the park for a stroll at 10 PM or later. That night, the pizza delivery guy called me from afar and asked me if I was hungry while offering me a full pizza. Taken aback, I just laughed and explained to the guy that I wasn't homeless and was just strolling through the park. I thanked him for his concern and the offer of free food but ultimately declined since I wasn't destitute.

Random acts of kindness from total strangers like this one always serve to restore my faith in humanity. They let me know that some people are still kind and decent even amidst a generation of complete egoism and narcissism and without much solidarity.

[kangarunner]

Sometimes I oscillate towards some level of misanthropy due to my bad experiences with a fair few people but ultimately I always come back to the following realization – people with such low-vibrational traits and behaviors are simply acting in accordance with the quality of their own consciousness and therefore have little or no choice in the matter. Conversely, if I am able to behave empathically and manifest high-vibrational traits and behaviors, it is simply because my current quality of consciousness allows for it. Given that our quality of consciousness is largely outside of our immediate control, it makes little sense to harshly judge others for the way they behave.

Usually, whenever I begin to hold misanthropic views about the people around me, I'll encounter one or more random acts of kindness which tell me that there is still some goodness in humanity, even if selfishness and indifference are the default state for most people.

For example, I remember when I was once loitering around a park at night in Valencia and a pizza delivery guy assumed that I was homeless and offered to give me a free pizza. I wasn't homeless. I just like to go out at night because I love the darkness of the night sky and the way it contrasts with the bright lights of the city and so I often go to the park for a stroll at 10 PM or later. That night, the pizza delivery guy called me from afar and asked me if I was hungry while offering me a full pizza. Taken aback, I just laughed and explained to the guy that I wasn't homeless and was just strolling through the park. I thanked him for his concern and the offer of free food but ultimately declined since I wasn't destitute.

Random acts of kindness from total strangers like this one always serve to restore my faith in humanity. They let me know that some people are still kind and decent even amidst a generation of complete egoism and narcissism and without much solidarity.

Well said sir. Yes, we should be kind, decent, and compassionate to those who deserve it. That pizza delivery guy was a good man and the universe or God or karma was there for you at that time.

[galii]

Sometimes I oscillate towards some level of misanthropy due to my bad experiences with a fair few people but ultimately I always come back to the following realization – people with such low-vibrational traits and behaviors are simply acting in accordance with the quality of their own consciousness and therefore have little or no choice in the matter. Conversely, if I am able to behave empathically and manifest high-vibrational traits and behaviors, it is simply because my current quality of consciousness allows for it. Given that our quality of consciousness is largely outside of our immediate control, it makes little sense to harshly judge others for the way they behave.

I am the same. I sometimes become really misanthropic because of the selfish idiocy of other people. NPC serfs and their shitty slave like values and their delusional sense of moral superiority, when in reality they're just selfish self serving assholes just piss me off!

Sometimes I have moments where I think @fschmidt is right and it would be better for these slaves to just be exterminated.

But, such thinking is not really within my nature if I am honest. Much like it isn't in yours either. We may have moments of misanthropy pertuated by bitterness instilled by the stupidity and solipsism of others, but ultimately we are high vibrational souls who have higher, noble values.

Usually, whenever I begin to hold misanthropic views about the people around me, I'll encounter one or more random acts of kindness which tell me that there is still some goodness in humanity, even if selfishness and indifference are the default state for most people.

Is selfishness and indifference really the default state of humanity? Or are humans naturally cooperative? I think capitalism, which pushes this materialist, dog eat dog ethos is partly to blame for people's disconnect. @willymonfrete surely agrees. Look at indigenous tribal communities! They undoubtedly have a better level of social connection than we do in a technologically advanced society.

Random acts of kindness from total strangers like this one always serve to restore my faith in humanity. They let me know that some people are still kind and decent even amidst a generation of complete egoism and narcissism and without much solidarity.

It is always a pleasant surprise when people display rare acts of kindness and altruism. Such occurrences are rare. Most people are cold and heartless and don't value anything other than their own selfish advancement through society. But there are still pockets of real human beings out there who have noble values and are capable of kindness.

There is a chance we attract the assholes a bit too. For example if one lives near the Amish people I guess one might find nicer people.

[galii]

Sometimes I oscillate towards some level of misanthropy due to my bad experiences with a fair few people but ultimately I always come back to the following realization – people with such low-vibrational traits and behaviors are simply acting in accordance with the quality of their own consciousness and therefore have little or no choice in the matter. Conversely, if I am able to behave empathically and manifest high-vibrational traits and behaviors, it is simply because my current quality of consciousness allows for it. Given that our quality of consciousness is largely outside of our immediate control, it makes little sense to harshly judge others for the way they behave.

I am the same. I sometimes become really misanthropic because of the selfish idiocy of other people. NPC serfs and their shitty slave like values and their delusional sense of moral superiority, when in reality they're just selfish self serving assholes just piss me off!

Sometimes I have moments where I think @fschmidt is right and it would be better for these slaves to just be exterminated.

But, such thinking is not really within my nature if I am honest. Much like it isn't in yours either. We may have moments of misanthropy pertuated by bitterness instilled by the stupidity and solipsism of others, but ultimately we are high vibrational souls who have higher, noble values.

Usually, whenever I begin to hold misanthropic views about the people around me, I'll encounter one or more random acts of kindness which tell me that there is still some goodness in humanity, even if selfishness and indifference are the default state for most people.

Is selfishness and indifference really the default state of humanity? Or are humans naturally cooperative? I think capitalism, which pushes this materialist, dog eat dog ethos is partly to blame for people's disconnect. @willymonfrete surely agrees. Look at indigenous tribal communities! They undoubtedly have a better level of social connection than we do in a technologically advanced society.

Random acts of kindness from total strangers like this one always serve to restore my faith in humanity. They let me know that some people are still kind and decent even amidst a generation of complete egoism and narcissism and without much solidarity.

It is always a pleasant surprise when people display rare acts of kindness and altruism. Such occurrences are rare. Most people are cold and heartless and don't value anything other than their own selfish advancement through society. But there are still pockets of real human beings out there who have noble values and are capable of kindness.

There is a chance we attract the assholes a bit too. For example if one lives near the Amish people I guess one might find nicer people.

I'm just wondering if this issue is a nature or nurture thing though, @galii are people naturally cold a solipsistic? Or is that a behaviour taught to us through society and the media? People in indigenous tribes don't behave that way.

Say if we take a pregnant woman for example. Let's say her husband dies. She will have to struggle to raise her baby all alone. Even though she might be surrounded by neighbours, none of them will particularly care about her or her baby. But in a tribal community in the amazon, a woman in the same situation will generally get the help she needs from other women in the tribe. They're like one big family. Perhaps when it comes to technology we are more advanced than them, but when it comes to a sense of community maybe they're more advanced than us.

On some level nurture is nature. Nature created human culture. Humans are part of nature. The problem with tribes is they do not work at some point. It is also questionable how 'functional' their life was.

Communists like to believe that humans are good but they got corrupted. I think nature does not care about what is 'moral'.

[galii]

Maybe we do not look for love. Otherwise it should be not too hard to get:


https://www.youtube.com/shorts/k4KqCZizoUA
Sweet dog

[yick]

I remember reading a great book by the martial artist, Geoff Thompson which basically changed my life and a lot of it was about this and what he said was that the reason people get disappointed when they give things to people is because they expect a return or that they're owed a return - the secret to giving (money, time, things, advice etc) is NOT to expect the return, you do it because you want to give and it doesn't mean giving everything you have to everyone but when you start to give without expecting a return - life becomes better - you start giving things to people and you forget who and what you gave to but you start getting things back - sometimes by the people you give things to but more often than not - The Universe gives to you and life becomes better.

Thompson states that when you give - not only does that person benefit but you also benefit because you're giving to yourself, the gift of higher self esteem, that you're not an arsehole. Imagine how many depressed people out there are depressed because they're basically arseholes and they get back what they give out? I am not saying that is every depressed person of course but a lot of people are depressed because they wants things without wanting to give back.

Life is temporary and it is short, you can't take anything with you, The Queen had to leave her wealth, her massive private art collection and her crowns, tiaras and stolen artefacts behind - there is nothing here that you have that is of any real value - it is all lent to you (if it is of any value) only for it to be passed onto someone else when you leave this mortal coil - the one thing you have of real value is your kindness, empathy and decency to others - that's what makes you a stand out as a person, that is the way to happiness and peace of mind.

What people want is to be a wanker and treat people like shit and be happy - that can't happen ever - you have to give those things up and treat people the way you know they ought to be treated, how many people commit suicide (or have drug and alcohol addictions) because they cannot handle the 'inner voice' the 'inner critic' that you can't lie to, you can't make excuses to, whatever shit things you do, it is there to remind you, who isn't interested in your excuses, you can make all the excuses to your gran or your mates down the pub - the inner voice never lets you off, the best way - better than prozac, in fact the only way to combat it - is to do good and don't expect a return and to treat people with decency, kindness and respect and then after awhile, you don't think of any other way of being and sooner or maybe later - you start to feel good about yourself, the inner critic is going to be saying less and less that you're an arsehole and more and more you can have a nice sleep and live a normal life that you're meant to - sure, you can take prozac and be an arsehole to people and that will shut the inner critic up but it's not what I would want.

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination - sometimes, not often but sometimes, I veer off course and don't treat people the way I should but I am mindful of it and try better or make amends the next time so it is always an ongoing process, but I think life as an empath is the only road really to some kind of mental peace and tranqulity, to give is to get back - it really is, it has made my life loads better.

[yick]

Exactly @Pixel--Dude and when you say...

"I know what you mean about not being perfect. I think I am far from perfect. I do try to be a good person, I try to be fair and kind to people and I try to help everyone as much as I can. But sometimes I'm not very mindful and it's only afterwards when that inner critic pipes up that I reflect on bad behaviour and realise what an asshole I've been."

You're 80% there to be honest, most people don't even get this, they want to be happy but be a twat to people whenever they want and of course, it does the opposite, if you're trying and you're mindful of the need to improve when we do something that isn't up to standard then you're doing better than most - lots of people haven't even evolved to that level which to us is a basic understanding of the path to better mental health and they think a tablet from the doctor or drink or drugs will get us there instead - or at least offer us a temporary relapse.

When people are being an asshole to me - I try and state that they're doing it to themselves and they'll suffer for it and not me - their inner voice will torment them on their wrong doing - I still think of crap things I did as a kid and the inner voice hasn't let me off since and more than likely it never will so it's the same for everyone and the best way to lessen it is be decent and mindful to people - it's hard because we live in this cultural prism of revenge and that you NEED to get revenge and to even the score and the thing is when people do bad or even just crap and wankerish things - they are hurting themselves but if we watch TV or hollywood films then the desire of revenge and the need to seek it is paramount (which is always drummed into us) when really - it isn't - people who hurt me hurt themselves more and if someone is rude to me or is being a wanker - my life still continues to be great!

Lots of people aren't in any way capable of looking inwards at their own behaviour and wonder why their life is bad or going badly wrong but they're not our problem - like you said - most people are cunts or if not - are selfish and prone to cuntish behaviour but the only agency you have in this world is your behaviour and how you react to others behaviour - as Geoff Thompson quoted an Arabic saying in his excellent book 'The Elephant and the Twig' 'The Dog Barks but the Caravan moves on' the dog can bark as much as it wants at the caravan, the caravan isn't going to stop its journey so everyone can get out and bark back at the dog.

Also, it isn't your role on the planet to give to every single Big Issue seller and to every Cancer Research tin rattler who block you on the way out at Tesco - you have to pick and choose who and what you give or can - if you don't want to give to xyz then you don't have to and if someone takes advantage of a kindness you have given then they're the cunt not you're the mug - I never lend money to people - if someone wants to lend a 100 quid off me then I will say 'I can give you 20 quid if you want it and you don't have to pay me back' and if they come back later for another 'loan' I can say yes or no but knowing that I gave them some of what they want the last time usually stops them from asking - but if it is someone I love then I have no problems with giving it but if I can help with some of their problem then I will try my best but I don't seek the return.

You do understand all this and I get it's hard to put it into practical every day life but one day you'll get there totally and life will be so much better.

[fschmidt]

Have you guys ever been let down by someone you trusted and this pushed you further into misanthropy? Have you ever been betrayed or disappointed and tried to rationalise shitty behaviour or make excuses for people who just, for lack of a better word, turned out to be total cunts whose behaviour cannot be reconciled or rationalised. Share your thoughts.

Yes, and I think this is the core factor for deep misanthropy. Everyone I trusted from modern cultue screwed me over (except those who went crazy or killed themselves). My best friend from childhood chased my wife and talked shit about me behind my back. My various business partners from modern culture all screwed me one way or another. Of the 2 recent ones, one was a programmer who followed modern programming into complete depravity. Another was a marketing guy who preferred pursuing fantasies to real sales. I no longer work with modern scum. I don't know a single member of modern culture who I wouldn't gladly shoot if there weren't legal consequences.

[WanderingProtagonist]

One of the problems with being an empath is that often when people commit transgression against you you will often try to excuse that behaviour or justify it in some way so that it makes sense. Obviously as someone empathic towards others you cannot reconcile or relate to shitty behaviour which is so alien to an empath, so you justify it by thinking stuff like: "Maybe they acted this way because X,Y,Z!" Such rationalisation of shitty behaviour is normal for an empath because they cannot relate to solipsistic ways of thinking.

Lately I've realised that shitty behaviour cannot or should not be justified or rationalised in any way, shape or form. Sometimes, even as an empath you have to realise that someone doesn't necessarily behave badly towards you because they had a bad upbringing, or they have been through a lot, or have had bad relationships with women etc... some people just behave poorly because simply put they are degenerate scum and absolute soulless cunts! There is no reason to apply too much rationalisation here. Accept people are f***ing shit in general and you won't be disappointed when people inevitably let you down.

What do you guys think?
@Lucas88
@Winston
@galii
@fschmidt
@MarcosZeitola
@publicduende
@willymonfrete
@WanderingProtagonist

Have you guys ever been let down by someone you trusted and this pushed you further into misanthropy? Have you ever been betrayed or disappointed and tried to rationalise shitty behaviour or make excuses for people who just, for lack of a better word, turned out to be total cunts whose behaviour cannot be reconciled or rationalised. Share your thoughts.

I have been betrayed plenty of time, but seeing world leaders also betray their own people cause me to build hatred and angry. Like I wanted to believe that a woman could govern her people, so I put trust in Meloni despite I'm not even Italian or from Italy. I just wanted to believe she truly gave a shit about the people of Italy during a time when leaders everywhere are selling out and betraying their own people...Then what does she do? She lets a small Island get flooded with hordes of African men, throws up her arm and smiles like it's funny what she did and made every single Italian hate her fake lying ass. .

Then there is the never ending failure and I often feel like I'll never get anywhere in life. Some people buy into the belief that they have to be "tolerant" and love everyone because the world has no place for any type of hatred...But I say they are wrong. Hatred isn't entirely all bad, and it's not possible to love everyone either. Me personally I just strongly dislike certain people and that's never going to change.
I have had trust issues a lot in my life, it's obvious that a lot of people don't trust their own government. And even though my father was abusive toward me with physical violence I didn't develop hate for him because I barely got to know who he was.

I don't know what kind of person I would be right now if I was living somewhere else. The world is very different from how it use to be. If I got to travel someplace that wasn't being intentionally destroyed by leftism and Jewish elites. I'm sure I can pick out a place and settle there and find some peace of mind. But overall I have very little contact with people at all anymore, so my life is just lonely and rife with bitterness.

[fschmidt]

I'm sorry that happened to you. No wonder you're so misanthropic. For the most part people can be solipsistic assholes who only care about themselves. But in your opinion is this a product of nature or nurture? Are people just naturally pieces of shit who are incapable of maintaining basic relationships? Or is this something instilled into people through modern society and the values promoted in such a society?

All of these cases were a result of changing culture. And these changes happened when these people were adults. People truly are herd animals. Even I am somewhat guilty, at least in my programming. I was following programming trends until one day I thought "what the f**k am I doing" and critically reconsidered my ideas about programming, and realized that programmers were going in the wrong direction. I guess most people never do this and just follow the herd into the abyss.

I blame capitalism, the reason why is because they instil this cutthroat dog eat dog ethos into children at a young age. The idea that getting ahead is the most important thing is pushed heavily throughout school years and I think unless you're smart enough to break free of this programming then you're going to carry those values into adulthood which means trying to f**k your friend's wife is just you getting ahead, f***ing over your business partner and friend is just you getting ahead. Etc. See what I mean?

No. Capitalism just means economic freedom, nothing more. The most moral societies in history were all capitalistic. Read The Protestant Ethic and the "Spirit" of Capitalism.