Repressed, Stilted Americans in Los Angeles

[The Arab]

Last night was hanging out with a mixed group and the thing I hate about mixed groups is you can't really say everything you normally do, if you were with a bunch of guys. All the guys watch what they say like they're walking on eggshells and interaction between Californians in LA is weird as hell.

Remember was talking about apple pie and two fingers in reference to some movie ... and this dude's girlfriend was there and getting uncomfortable. Why so serious ??

Like, wtf is wrong with Americans and their insecurities and prudishness.

You can smell the insecurity and note-comparing between everyone else. Very unnatural and stilted social atmosphere amongst LA natives - its like people do not have an internal compass and have no real depth of character. People seem to be very afraid of appearances and what other think of them, so instead of just saying what's on their minds, they filter everything through a lens and it's annoying as hell

What's worse is even all-male groups are so prissy and emasculated they don't talk like regular guys do about p***y.

Why are Americans so repressed and just kind of weird and phony ? There's always some tension and social barriers between LA natives, a maddening political correctness ....... makes you miss the spontaneity, energy, and life you would see in Latin America, MENA, and Africa.

The complete lack of personality of these people is perplexing. They all seem like automatons shipped out of a factory somewhere, wearing the same clothes, doing the same pointless superficial things, afraid of people and afraid of what others think, always comparing and competing, and just not completely relaxing .
__________________

[swincor]

While I agree with you about the personalities of Americans, nevertheless I think there are valid reasons for a more enlightened American to be a little more paranoid and distrusting these days, especially in the internet age. I myself would not be so open and candid around ordinary Americans today, unless I knew them for a much longer time. I especially would prefer not to have my picture taken, or probably even give out my real name, since you can easily become well-known to wide numbers of people via Facebook, etc. Based on personal experience, I would also say that American men are not so much different from women when it comes to lacking discretion and gossiping.

[ladislav]

Ah, isn't that interesting! But that is not how most Arabs see it. When I was in Kuwait, many Arab guys would wistfully talk about the US and Americans mentioning them with words such as "free" and "friendly";and they were saying" Oh, America! I love it! I love the girls there". They were all dying to go to the US. And they loved making friends with Americans.

The way Americans see Arabs, though, is just as you described- stilted, sullen, reserved, but with a sword in a raised position ready to cut off the infidels' head as soon as he sees them.

The most popular nationality among the Arabs in the Khawaja Amerikiya. Because of the perception of informality, friendliness and freedom.

[The Arab]

Ah, isn't that interesting! But that is not how most Arabs see it. When I was in Kuwait, many Arab guys would wistfully talk about the US and Americans mentioning them with words such as "free" and "friendly";and they were saying" Oh, America! I love it! I love the girls there". They were all dying to go to the US. And they loved making friends with Americans.

The way Americans see Arabs, though, is just as you described- stilted, sullen, reserved, but with a sword in a raised position ready to cut off the infidels' head as soon as he sees them.

The most popular nationality among the Arabs in the Khawaja Amerikiya. Because of the perception of informality, friendliness and freedom.

They're stuck-up and repressed in the Gulf.

My romping grounds are the secular Tunisia, Morocco, the friendly and bombastic Libya, and the living sea of Egypt.

In particular, I compare Libyans to Americans .. the Libyans are far friendlier and social than Americans. They'll chat in the streets, grab you, gesture, gesticulate, laugh, drink macchiatos and take pleasure in conversations, like Italians or Brazilians.

[lavezzi]

The complete lack of personality of these people is perplexing. They all seem like automatons shipped out of a factory somewhere, wearing the same clothes, doing the same pointless superficial things, afraid of people and afraid of what others think, always comparing and competing, and just not completely relaxing .

It's the hours spent watching television from childhood. From it they then garner how they think they should act, instead of developing personalities of their own.

I experienced the same thing when I went to America. The first people I spoke to were a group of homeless people who seemed so down-to-earth and real. I assumed all Americans must be this way. Obviously I was in for a shock as my next destination was a club, where I found polar opposite types to those I had met on the street. Really lacking in personality and seeming totally insecure. The difference? The homeless group have no source of entertainment other than each-other. Which means they actually have to interact and develop social skills, instead of just looking at a box.

Social networking websites are making people even more socially inept as now they have no need to socialize face to face at all.

[The Arab]

The complete lack of personality of these people is perplexing. They all seem like automatons shipped out of a factory somewhere, wearing the same clothes, doing the same pointless superficial things, afraid of people and afraid of what others think, always comparing and competing, and just not completely relaxing .

It's the hours spent watching television from childhood. From it they then garner how they think they should act, instead of developing personalities of their own.

I experienced the same thing when I went to America. The first people I spoke to were a group of homeless people who seemed so down-to-earth and real. I assumed all Americans must be this way. Obviously I was in for a shock as my next destination was a club, where I found polar opposite types to those I had met on the street. Really lacking in personality and seeming totally insecure. The difference? The homeless group have no source of entertainment other than each-other. Which means they actually have to interact and develop social skills, instead of just looking at a box.

Social networking websites are making people even more socially inept as now they have no need to socialize face to face at all.

Astute observation, I completely agree and funnily enough thought the same thing yesterday talking to a homeless man- he had a grasp of geography and world history and anecdotes, and was surprisingly perceptive and easy to converse with. When compared to the soulless folks I rub shoulders with at my high-end gym and social circle, who know nothing and chitter with the most banal cocktail chatter.

[lavezzi]

It's the hours spent watching television from childhood. From it they then garner how they think they should act, instead of developing personalities of their own.

To add to this and give you an example of how it works; I remember growing up in a much poorer Ireland, before the economic boom of the early 2000s. There was far less money in circulation, which meant television companies earned less revenue from advertisements. People had four standard channels. Children's shows were played in the morning to early afternoon and consisted only of cartoons, which are easier to distinguish from reality making them far less influential on a child's mind. Every housing estate had children running around and playing games. fields were filled with teenagers playing football. This generation retained the renowned Irish spirit and had genuine personalities.

Then the boom came. Far more money in circulation meant a greater demand for advertising from corporations. Now, there is digital TV with multiple dedicated children's channels that consist of shows with real-life people in it, which are a lot harder for children to distinguish from reality than cartoons. The housing estates are quite and the fields are empty. And we have socially inept children speaking with pseudo-American accents. It's really concerning.

I have experienced first hand and at a rapid rate how economic prosperity brings with it a social decline. I believe this has been happening in America for far longer and at a more gradual rate, spanning over several generations.

[jamesbond]

Social networking websites are making people even more socially inept as now they have no need to socialize face to face at all.

Studies have shown that the more people use internet social networking sites like facebook and myspace, the more lonely they feel. They also feel more isolated and don't get a chance to develop real social skills.

Welcome to life in modern day America!

[zboy1]

It's the hours spent watching television from childhood. From it they then garner how they think they should act, instead of developing personalities of their own.

To add to this and give you an example of how it works; I remember growing up in a much poorer Ireland, before the economic boom of the early 2000s. There was far less money in circulation, which meant television companies earned less revenue from advertisements. People had four standard channels. Children's shows were played in the morning to early afternoon and consisted only of cartoons, which are easier to distinguish from reality making them far less influential on a child's mind. Every housing estate had children running around and playing games. fields were filled with teenagers playing football. This generation retained the renowned Irish spirit and had genuine personalities.

Then the boom came. Far more money in circulation meant a greater demand for advertising from corporations. Now, there is digital TV with multiple dedicated children's channels that consist of shows with real-life people in it, which are a lot harder for children to distinguish from reality than cartoons. The housing estates are quite and the fields are empty. And we have socially inept children speaking with pseudo-American accents. It's really concerning.

I have experienced first hand and at a rapid rate how economic prosperity brings with it a social decline. I believe this has been happening in America for far longer and at a more gradual rate, spanning over several generations.

Yes, that is one of the drawbacks of rapid economic growth. I've noticed some of these trends as well in my native South Korea as well. When I visited there in my youth, I remember friendly people, strong communities, a family oriented culture and kids playing out in the streets till night. There was virtually no crime and the television programs were of high quality. Now, so much of the culture has been inundated with trashy American TV shows, trashy music like Lady Gaga and hip hop, celebrities like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

Kids spend most of their time playing PC games like World of Warcraft or spend most of their time on the Internet. My aunt tells me that crime is skyrocketing and juvenile delinquency is getting to be a big problem in Korea. The moral fabric of the country is decreasing due to increasing consumerism and desire for wealth above all else. The good thing is that many South Koreans still hold very strongly to their culture and are conservative in nature. There is a strain of anti-Americanism there that helps combat all the cultural junk invading the country. I just hope the rest of Asia does not lose its itself in the process of modernizing such as was the case in Ireland, unfortunately.

[Free]

Yeah, see? This stuff has been/is spreading around the globe!
Globalization, media giants and their twisted messages (many on purposes), consumerism, etc etc. Technology. Oh, that's a big one. Sure, we're using the net right now to communicate, but honestly, if other things weren't so messed up, we really wouldn't need it. Put me back in the 1880's or whenever, I'm quite sure I'd be happily married with some children, be involved in a nice close community, be eating well, etc and certainly have no need for the internet, tv, movies, xbox, etc. Sure, it'd be harder work, but fulfilling overall. How we were meant to live!
The internet sort of closes this big world down which can be a bad thing. Like everyone is in everyone's backyard so that can include the filth too (i.e. filth from America, trash music, media, etc.). Also, it takes people away from their local cultures and they tend to fall for the deceptive empty calorie lures of that distorted American culture. This world needs to keep its varied cultures. It's a built-in diversity tactic of not putting all the eggs in one basket. This way, when one or several cultures/societies fail, there are others still standing.

Sure, America has been/is the big daddy of them all when it comes to collapsing in so many forms, and several of us have liked to seek more desirable places (and certainly they still exist), but as fast as this nonsense is spreading, we seem to be getting more and more squeezed in to as if there are less and less places to go!

Tough times we live in. Like nothing every before. Think of humanity for thousands of years. Daily lifestyle. Family, social, diet, etc. More of less level all along. Then it reaches 1920's or so, especially 1960's and on and it's been an incalculable change like never before seen in history!
While advancements/progression can be nice, this onslaught of cars, planes, TVs, phones, internet, poor eating, plastic, etc etc I think in the long run it's hurting us, hurting the global community. People say it's brought/bringing everyone together. I'm just looking at the fruits of it all, so far and projected out to the future and it's not been so fruitful and ultimately is looking to fail.

In the end, most of us just wanted/want a normal life. Meet a nice women/some nice women, having some children (if desired), work a job you like, have a nice local community, be left alone (i.e. no BB), not have to live in a twisted/perverted culture, eat well, and things of this nature.

Really, what a mess things have become. I know, I know, it's not this way everywhere, just saying, the creeping in of the negative aspects of technology, people falling from morals/values, of globalization and consumerism, or negative influences via controlled media, etc, it all just seems to be spreading too far and too fast.
Hm.

P.S. Very nice insights in this thread, thanks for contributing.

[zboy1]

Yeah, I agree with you Free. All this new technology and I don't think I'm happier as a result. In fact, I miss the way things were in the past. The simplicity of life is something I really miss.

[have2fly]

Totally agree with Free! Big time! Internet, Facebook and all kinds of instant messaging took away real life communication. Also ALL young kids seem to text non-stop, even if the person is sitting next to them. It is SO RETARDED! When people, especially girls, are waiting for a car to get fixed or at the doctor's - they TEXT non-stop! I would understand if it's something important, but it's STUPIDEST SHIT ever! Why text? Can you freaking relax, enjoy silence and think about yourself or whatever? I am amazed how people can't handle a moment of silence or moment of peace - they just need to rush to do something, they can't handle themselves! It is terrible when you see it from aside, I rarely text and only if needed, it is much easier to call someone, especially considering that people are switching to unlimited plans for cell phones.

Of course meeting people is even better, but it seems that everything people do in America has to have a purpose or profit. I remember talking to one American girl about just go for a walk or "stroll" down a street. She looked at me like I am a zombie and asked me: "Where are we going?" I said: "Nowhere, we are just going, me and you together". She could not figure it out! How can we go somewhere without purpose? Holy crap! Cars, internet, suburban lifestyle has taken away all social interaction. Remember the movie called "The Surrogates" with Bruce Willis? That's modern day USA already, only people are not using surrogates robots yet. Give it another 10 years!

[ssjparris]

Totally agree with Free! Big time! Internet, Facebook and all kinds of instant messaging took away real life communication. Also ALL young kids seem to text non-stop, even if the person is sitting next to them. It is SO RETARDED! When people, especially girls, are waiting for a car to get fixed or at the doctor's - they TEXT non-stop! I would understand if it's something important, but it's STUPIDEST SHIT ever! Why text? Can you freaking relax, enjoy silence and think about yourself or whatever? I am amazed how people can't handle a moment of silence or moment of peace - they just need to rush to do something, they can't handle themselves! It is terrible when you see it from aside, I rarely text and only if needed, it is much easier to call someone, especially considering that people are switching to unlimited plans for cell phones.

Of course meeting people is even better, but it seems that everything people do in America has to have a purpose or profit. I remember talking to one American girl about just go for a walk or "stroll" down a street. She looked at me like I am a zombie and asked me: "Where are we going?" I said: "Nowhere, we are just going, me and you together". She could not figure it out! How can we go somewhere without purpose? Holy crap! Cars, internet, suburban lifestyle has taken away all social interaction. Remember the movie called "The Surrogates" with Bruce Willis? That's modern day USA already, only people are not using surrogates robots yet. Give it another 10 years!

Yeah Social media is de-humanizing everyone. making them dumb or docile. Text msgs. are the popular way to communicate without speech. on top of that they use shortened words instead of the WHOLE word itself. such as brb ( be right back ), = \ (dissatisfied), or ....what r u doing.

this make's people less likely to use vocabulary properly. imagine my generation of 20 year old's turning 50. they don't know how to read or write because of texting with shortened words all the time.

This way the elite can control ALL information written or unwritten. we will need a specialist to translate old text, any books, or information online. i new profession will be created.

[odbo]

Yeah, I agree with you Free. All this new technology and I don't think I'm happier as a result. In fact, I miss the way things were in the past. The simplicity of life is something I really miss.

Since we live in a "free" society, most of the tools of oppression are implied not forced. No one is forcing you to have a Facebook or a texting plan. But good luck trying to find a decent job without fitting in to the degeneracy. Actually one can manage like me, but you might be seen as an outcast by one or two idiots. The horror! Better throw your life away to the beast in the name of conformity and keeping up appearances. The question is, what is your life worth to you? Were you born to be a slave? Save your money and leave. You can't beat the system, but you can choose not to participate and simply "outgrow" it. I don't even have a mobile phone

A lot of people don't want to learn about the elites and their agendas. They want to pretend greedy telecom companies are the root of the evil, or maybe some Jewish guy who "created" Google or Facebook. They don't want to learn what will liberate them because then they'd be free. They've been slaves for so long (usually since elementary school), they're afraid of not living their lives on auto-pilot.

[The Arab]

Yeah "bombastic Libya" which the americans have to bomb free as they are so cool people specially with Gaddhafi. Very cool. I am shure you could chat with the Mother f***er old night long.

Yeah Tunisia, lived a very cool life until they had the feel to make a revolution.

Yeah we all wished we could live in these wounderful countries. Actually we could. Maybe you should Mr. Arab. You don´t like USA? Why not GTFO ?

Well hello there Ahmet, the Self Hating Turk.

I'm scratching my head here. Are you seriously coming back with the old tired 'If you don't like it, leave' cliche ? Try to be more creative Ahmet.

I have been in both Libya and Tunisia Ahmet ... *surprise* *surprise*

I have been to 34 countries, including Turkey and Germany. I simply make observations and critique based on experience and comparing different countries and cultures.

What exactly is your point ? There are pros and cons to almost everywhere. In the case of the US and the Anglo/Western world, you have antisocial, cliquish, dysfunctional social environments and what you get as a trade-off ? Better customer service, technology, quality of life, efficiency.

What would be the ideal ? Take out the bland, conformist , paranoid people, and replace them with my own lively and passionate people, and it's be heaven.

Oh, and I am only studying in the U.S, not here as an immigrant working ... I'm going back to my country.

I travel the world, and it's fun.