Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you?Really?

[TruthOrConsequences]

Yesterday I was talking to some of my relatives who live overseas. They kept bugging with shit like 'oh why won't you go out?' or 'why are you not dating anyone?'. This always gets me. As if you absolutely have to be romantically involved with someone by default. And there's never any reason why you should not. I've been trying to explain to them how things are up in here with everybody being a complete ass and all, but the regular people can't seem to understand that. I'm always rebutted with that old biblical saying:"Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you." They're implying that by being a decent person, you will always end up being treated good and that people will like you no matter what.

Does that really apply here in the states? I don't see how it could.

All I see is a bunch of self-centered arrogant people who have a passion for criticizing and judging others. God forbid you ever try to be any different than the guy next to you! You will always be met with utter contempt and everyone will shun you. Everywhere I go I get fuckin' stares n shit. Every time I walk into a place, be it a store or a class, I'm always being sized up and 'inspected' by everybody up in there. What the f**k's up with that?
To me.. it's like.. I haven't even done anything; I've just showed up and you gotta freakin' eyeball me like that? How does that saying apply here?

Any thoughts? Has anyone ever had any problems explaining it to others? How do regular people not see that? Why is it so hard to grasp that the majority of people are judgemental assholes? How can I get through to these people and maybe give them some good examples? Or something more concrete?

[TruthOrConsequences]

Quick sidenote.

It's not my hairstyle or my clothes. I wear the cheapest freakin' clothes anyone could find at Walmart and I've got a short haircut. It can't be either one of those. It's definitely not my appearance.

[lavezzi]

The amount of general respect people have for others in the Western world has been rapidly decreasing for decades. You now have to look and act a certain way, be a certain gender (female) or have a certain career to gain any respect whatsoever, otherwise people see no 'use' for your existence. You have to seemingly benefit them in some way for them to want anything to do with you. The idea that being nice garnishes you any respect here is just so utterly false it's laughable at this stage. Maybe this is simply human nature to a degree, but in the Western world it's reached unprecedented levels. If people do not accept you yet you learn not to care, it can be beneficial; you don't have to deal with being self-conscious like everyone else, which just amounts to stress.

[DistanceRunner]

The amount of general respect people have for others in the Western world has been rapidly decreasing for decades. You now have to look and act a certain way, be a certain gender (female) or have a certain career to gain any respect whatsoever, otherwise people see no 'use' for your existence. You have to seemingly benefit them in some way for them to want anything to do with you. The idea that being nice garnishes you any respect here is just so utterly false it's laughable at this stage. Maybe this is simply human nature to a degree, but in the Western world it's reached unprecedented levels. If people do not accept you yet you learn not to care, it can be beneficial; you don't have to deal with being self-conscious like everyone else, which just amounts to stress.

I am in total agreement. I have noticed this online and offline and it angers me a lot! (especially w/ what you've said in bold.)

What's happened in this region is a damn shame, and I can't really go anywhere else either.

I pray that the rest of the world doesn't adopt the values that the Western world has.

[Jester]

...that old biblical saying:"Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you." They're implying that by being a decent person, you will always end up being treated good and that people will like you no matter what.

Does that really apply here in the states? I don't see how it could.

All I see is a bunch of self-centered arrogant people who have a passion for criticizing and judging others.

I would say the way to apply the Golden Rule, here at least, is to add the words, "...if you were them." In other words, pretend you were an insecure, nervous jerk who didn't want to talk to anyone who wasn't cool for fear of losing status. Then go up to them and talk to them only if you want something from them, and do it in a way that establishes you are way cooler than them. Then they will be happy that they had an interaction with you.

Golden Rule, American style.

....Every time I walk into a place, be it a store or a class, I'm always being sized up and 'inspected' by everybody up in there. What the f**k's up with that?....the majority of people are judgemental assholes?

Yup. SHALLOW judgemental assholes.

How can I get through to these people...?

You don't. Just use them. As explained above. They ENJOY it.

[Jester]

The amount of general respect people have for others in the Western world has been rapidly decreasing for decades. You now have to look and act a certain way, be a certain gender (female) or have a certain career to gain any respect whatsoever, otherwise people see no 'use' for your existence. You have to seemingly benefit them in some way for them to want anything to do with you. The idea that being nice garnishes you any respect here is just so utterly false it's laughable at this stage. Maybe this is simply human nature to a degree, but in the Western world it's reached unprecedented levels.

very very well said.

If people do not accept you yet you learn not to care, it can be beneficial; you don't have to deal with being self-conscious like everyone else, which just amounts to stress.

True. i wish I'd learned this years ago. Either way you eventually learn not to give a damn what others think.

[TruthOrConsequences]

Thanks for your replies, guys.

It's not that I care what people think of me. I was just trying to find out how to point it out to an outsider, someone who is vaguely familiar with the US. Or in other words, how to explain to someone that the social environment here is totally dysfunctional.

This one time I got busted for reckless driving in Texas and I had to do like a week in a county jail. I think I made more friends up in there than during a whole year at my college. How messed up is that? Some of the people there were pretty polite and down-to-earth. Some of them gave me some good advices as to what to say in court and who all the good lawyers are up around there.

Among these everyday people, it's an effing challenge just to get a conversation going. Everyone has like a major attitude and shit.

Jester, you speak of everybody being insecure and not wanting to talk to others out of fear of losing their status. But what freakin' status do these douchebags have to begin with? Especially if you're just dealing with your coworkers or classmates? People are supposed to interact somehow, how would it make them lose their 'status'? There ain't no shame in just talking to someone, even if they do seem a little off or different.

[Jester]

....Jester, you speak of everybody being insecure and not wanting to talk to others out of fear of losing their status. But what freakin' status do these douchebags have to begin with? Especially if you're just dealing with your coworkers or classmates? People are supposed to interact somehow, how would it make them lose their 'status'? There ain't no shame in just talking to someone, even if they do seem a little off or different.

Inside they have no sense of self-worth. But they hope no-one else notices. When they see you're an ordinary person, they shy away, because they want to fool people that they are indeed special, cool, etc. If you're not posing like they are, you'll give them away. Think about animals with camouflage. Would they stand next to a buddy with bright colors? No - gives them away. They want to disguise themselves - sometimes literally with sunglasss, often with designer labels or a "cool" car. You can succeed in life being real, or you can succeed in life playing "cool". One is real, other is a pose. No wonder posers end up with more drugs, divorce, screwed up kids, etc. - unhappy despite fame or money.

A good movie about these two paths is Mr. Destiny, starring Jim Belushi.

....I had to do like a week in a county jail. I think I made more friends up in there than during a whole year at my college.... Some of the people there were pretty polite and down-to-earth. Some of them gave me some good advices.....

Kind of proves the point. Folks in jail don't have any perceived status to protect. Ergo, they can be real.