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[DanielleNguyen]

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[OutWest]

So I have almost been married to my husband for a year now. My son had recently turned one and we are expecting baby number two in October. I know, I know, wait what? Anyway moving on, has any other woman out there felt like a maid at times. I mean you go room to room busting your butt just to turn around with in the hour to a mess again. I mean it shouldn't be that hard. However, my husband I think has a hording problem. I had to move rusty car parts out of my son's room (before he was walking or crawling) after stepping on and cutting my foot on a rusted rim. Lately, the mess seems to have grown. I mean I am a wife not a maid. I sit and think of new recipes weekly to impress my husband, he comes home to ginger flank steak, lemon thyme chicken, and creme brulle for lord's sake. The least he could do is help with the house. I mean lately I think and think as my son gets older I'll be picking up after him, his sibling, and my husband and that to me is a depressivn e thought. I mean lately I feel less happy.

You do seem like a decent person no doubt- keep in mind you have to deal with a lot of emotions right now. My wife is expecting, and I am always helping to keep her focused...lol

So you are a stay at home mom? Its a drag sometimes no doubt- but what does your
husband do? Is he out busting his rear all day? Don't you think he feels like a slave some days?
Think of the pressure on him to make a living and provide for all of you. Maybe he feels like
an ATM machine with legs...

Find a way to make your husband your ally...

Then when you can afford it, even if it is for just c few hours every week or two, get someone to come in and help you out. It will help with the objectives and really boost your spirits.
Living in the Philippines rocks in that department...we have a full time live-in housekeeper.

Wish you the best...

Outwest

[DanielleNguyen]

We both work....so he's not a walking ATM. I do work from home as a dress maker. I pay for my own materials and what not.

[Jester]

So I have almost been married to my husband for a year now. My son had recently turned one and we are expecting baby number two in October. I know, I know, wait what? Anyway moving on, has any other woman out there felt like a maid at times. I mean you go room to room busting your butt just to turn around with in the hour to a mess again. I mean it shouldn't be that hard. However, my husband I think has a hording problem. I had to move rusty car parts out of my son's room (before he was walking or crawling) after stepping on and cutting my foot on a rusted rim. Lately, the mess seems to have grown. I mean I am a wife not a maid. I sit and think of new recipes weekly to impress my husband, he comes home to ginger flank steak, lemon thyme chicken, and creme brulle for lord's sake. The least he could do is help with the house. I mean lately I think and think as my son gets older I'll be picking up after him, his sibling, and my husband and that to me is a depressive thought. I mean lately I feel less happy.

Let him have a space for hobbies. That is part of him.

Let some things go, if not important for safety or health.

Stop being such a perfectionist. This not the time to shoot for gourmet cooking awards. Go easy, take it easy, bless your kids, please your man.

And DO NOT start thinking that your rooster ought to be helping you sit on the egg. THAT ATTITUDE is the WORST thing you can do.

Where you are now with a 1 year old is a low point for most women. As they start toddling around on their own more, it gets easier.

BTW, 2 kids is twice as hard as one. Sorry but it's going to be an interesting 2 years. After that though much easier.

And if you want more, three is no harder than two. They start to play with each other, etc.

[BlueEverglades]

I don't think she's being a perfectionist by requesting to lessen the load a little bit. Why cant the guy pick up after his own stuff? Seriously she does everything around the house PLUS being an excellent cook and having a job of her own! Common now what the hell do you expect her to say if she's indeed feeling like a maid? many guys in this forum seem crazy in the head, do not listen to them!

[Cornfed]

The least he could do is help with the house. I mean lately I think and think as my son gets older I'll be picking up after him, his sibling, and my husband and that to me is a depressive thought. I mean lately I feel less happy.

If your husband starts doing girly work you are likely to lose all respect and sexual attraction for him. This topic represents your inner feminist coming out. Try to fight it.

[DanielleNguyen]

I am not a inner feminist. I guess I just want more appreciation. I mean I am 4 months pregnant and he's a hoarder. I mean I am the one taking out the garbage, doing laundry cause he changes into 3 outfits a day, and I feel my small home is closing in on me. I just wish he'd clean the house and let me put my feet up for once. I try to help him all I can.

[Renata]

Hire a maid to do a general clean once a week, & just let it get messy. Don't let such a small thing like chores become an issue in your house! Enjoy that time with your kid, becuase he will never be this sweet again. Toddlers are the best. You have to prioritise. What's more important? Just cook & let the maid clean. I would rather roll around on the carpet with my baby rather than wash dishes any day!

Remember, you will never be this loved again ...

[DanielleNguyen]

I actually like that idea. However, in a bad area we may get robbed

[Renata]

You have so many what ifs' ... what if I have to clean after my son too, yes you will have too lol ... what if I get robbed, you will if you don't secure your valuables lol ... Just give yourself a better standard of life! If you're not happy with your current situation sort it or stay miserable lol

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Hire a maid to do a general clean once a week, & just let it get messy. Don't let such a small thing like chores become an issue in your house! Enjoy that time with your kid, becuase he will never be this sweet again. Toddlers are the best. You have to prioritise. What's more important? Just cook & let the maid clean. I would rather roll around on the carpet with my baby rather than wash dishes any day!

Remember, you will never be this loved again ...

....and this is one of the many reasons why Renata might be the coolest HA female poster on here ever. More so then BellaRuth.

@Danielle,

Wait until a hardcore masculist reads your thread....the responses you are receiving now are cakewalks. You should stop working then
[and be a stay-at-home mom]. Would that be too oppressive for you? Why do you work? It is sooooooo compulsory? You are only on this
site because your man is Viet. Try being Happier Domestically.

1 molar of "You are skinny" + 1 molar of "you are a female" + 1 molar of "you are White" ---> (yields #ChemistryArrow) 2 molars of Good fem jac squirt + subset 2 molecules of a submissive personality

Try to balance that "equation" out. Remember, there are 22.5 moles/L so you might want to balance your equation with just the right amount of squirt to get you and your man off and the right balance of not being so damn demanding. You should have a docile personality. This is the reason why your mother detests you becauase she has a Nostradamus syndrome; she detected how you were on some Gloria Steinem "not good enough docile wife to my son" type of thing going on. She might have been right and exact within moral reason.

Your man doesnt' like it when you squirt?

I know Latinas whom pick up after their man, and they still deliver by finishing up the chores in a timely,
recurring basis. You sound like a Hispanic-Latina that b.itches more than normally (I know you aren't Hispanic/Latina). Welcome to post-feminism, D.Y.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

*mother-in-law

[somedude]

I actually like that idea. However, in a bad area we may get robbed

Hi, I was Mr. Mom for 18 years with my son. I remember those days when he was still crawling, except I was doing it alone plus working full time to keep a roof, food etc.

Children are messy and have massive attention needs so unfortunately that's what you're going to be dealing with for a few years. However it slowly gets easier as they age. Especially after they are off the milk and potty trained. But do cherish this time as they grow very fast as Renata has mentioned.

It's understandable that you're frustrated with the daily chore routine.

Maybe there is a solution in thinking smarter about the mess rather than working harder. Why is it messy so often? Can you live with it being cluttered for a longer period in between picking up? Can you limit what is dragged out during the day to minimize the mess? Do you have a dish washing machine that you can just load up and hit the button freeing your time to do something else?

Generic questions I know, but maybe you can be creative in maximizing the efficiency in your routine so that the balance tips to you having more enjoyment time with the child rather than constant chore cycle that seems neverending.

I used to strap my boy to my chest in one of those kangaroo pouch looking things and go mow the yard or ride a scooter around the yard for fun. I realize you are pregnant and activities may be limited, but try to stay positive with your creativity.

[DanielleNguyen]

I guess I am just stessed with watching so many kids and all the daily toll

[bladed11]

What if you were living in another country where people worry about starving to death and you were a mother. What if then? How terrible your life must be you have actual responsibilities except for basic survival. How terrible it must be to be you. If only every AW suffered as you having to pick up tonka toys once in a while. How devastating the suffering must be. How do you survive the horrors? You should definitely get on anti depressants so you can become more bi polar then leave your husband because he doesn't appreciate ungrateful you. If only you had everything handed to you like a princess then you could finally be happy. Well it's a good thing men are disposable and you can always find a new one huh?