The Fake American Ego

[International Gringo]

For the past 10 years or so I have been very curious and interested in human psychology. I have traveled to 40 countries and lived in 5. As Winston has mentioned numerous times, the country where the people seem to be to most inauthentic and non genuine is here in the United States. It seems as if a good portion of Americans (depending on many factors such as your region and age) A.) only care about themselves B.) Constantly brag/lie to impress others C.) Have a competitive mindset where everybody is a potential opponent D.) Cope with their personal problems with excessive drug/alcohol abuse.

Over the years I have dropped many American friendships due to extensive bragging, lying, superior complex, alpha male behavior, alcoholism or constantly bullying (insulting others). I find this behavior to be emotionally draining on myself when I hang around these type of people. The sad thing about this is that these poor human qualities reach such a broad spectrum in American society. Whether you are a college educated individual with a lucrative career ( bragging about how much money you make, your career, house, cars, etc), your common ghetto thug bragging about all of his criminal accomplishments (how many people he beat up in a fight) or your typical American attention whore bragging about all the guys she dates/attention.

While in my younger days, I would be considered somewhat successful by American standards (socially). I was able to throw some decent size parties for my BDAY, had numerous MMA fights in front of thousands of spectators and I had a little bit of success with a few attractive women (although it was way too much effort for what it was worth). However, the truth is I was really never that happy. All my accomplishments brought short time happiness. It was always another accomplishment that I needed to be happy or there was always someone else out there who was more popular or had better success with the women. The whole social system felt so competitive here (especially with all the bragging) that you always felt insufficient no matter how much you accomplish.

From my behavioral and spiritual research that I have done, this ego maniac type of behavior in the states creates so much mental illness because people are truly never happy with themselves (once you accomplish one goal you need to accomplish another). Its like a drug addict always needing their next fix. The ego tells the mind that it must never be vulnerable and admit defeat, unhappiness or envy. This is dangerous because so many Americans have all this pent up anger, disappointment and envy with no one to talk to. This is when the shooting rampages take place.

Like Winston mentioned, most foreign countries have strong family and community networks which offer great support for someone who might be experiencing mental/social issues. Women dont tend to disrespect or insult men (which can further hurt the ego) thus companionship or intimacy with the opposite sex is available.

I guess you can call this a mid life crisis but my goal is to try to find inner peace with my time in the states (I live 8 months in the states , 3 months in the Philippines and one month in Latin America). Im generally happy when Im overseas where I spend most of my time living in the moment. However, In the US all I do is work and have a lot of free time to self reflect. As of now, a few strategies that help me are avoiding socializing with people/friends who make you feel down/insufficient, avoiding the mainstream media (TV), lots of exercise, understanding the core issues behind the mainstream American mentality so you dont fall victim to it (over spending, over consumption, happiness through materialism, social competitiveness).

Any opinions or suggestions how to further spiritual peace within oneself in the USA?

[Temprano26]

I work out a lot too but it doesnt change how sad I feel. The US makes me feel I dont matter. I go out alone because I have no choice and people look past me like I am not there. Crowded places where nobody cares about me. Then people are oblivious that half the population are on drugs.

[Devil Dog]

Over the years I have dropped many American friendships due to extensive bragging, lying, superior complex, alpha male behavior, alcoholism or constantly bullying (insulting others). I find this behavior to be emotionally draining on myself when I hang around these type of people.

I understand exactly where you are coming from with this. Most American men just piss me off. Keep at it and you can find a few friends to hang out with. You don't really need a BFF, just some like-minded dudes to hang with occasionally.

While in my younger days, I would be considered somewhat successful by American standards (socially). I was able to throw some decent size parties for my BDAY, had numerous MMA fights in front of thousands of spectators and I had a little bit of success with a few attractive women (although it was way too much effort for what it was worth). However, the truth is I was really never that happy. All my accomplishments brought short time happiness. It was always another accomplishment that I needed to be happy or there was always someone else out there who was more popular or had better success with the women. The whole social system felt so competitive here (especially with all the bragging) that you always felt insufficient no matter how much you accomplish.

You are not the typical HA whiner/complainer. You have accomplishments and abilities. Take those as wins and move forward.

You have everything that you need for happiness, and it's inside your head. Stop relying upon the opinions and feelings of others to determine your self worth. Don't bother giving a damn what the average guy walking around is thinking about you. In reality, he is not thinking about you at all. He is only focused on himself.

From my behavioral and spiritual research that I have done, this ego maniac type of behavior in the states creates so much mental illness because people are truly never happy with themselves (once you accomplish one goal you need to accomplish another). Its like a drug addict always needing their next fix. The ego tells the mind that it must never be vulnerable and admit defeat, unhappiness or envy. This is dangerous because so many Americans have all this pent up anger, disappointment and envy with no one to talk to. This is when the shooting rampages take place.

Agreed. But it has nothing to do with you.

I guess you can call this a mid life crisis but my goal is to try to find inner peace with my time in the states (I live 8 months in the states , 3 months in the Philippines and one month in Latin America). Im generally happy when Im overseas where I spend most of my time living in the moment. However, In the US all I do is work and have a lot of free time to self reflect. As of now, a few strategies that help me are avoiding socializing with people/friends who make you feel down/insufficient, avoiding the mainstream media (TV), lots of exercise, understanding the core issues behind the mainstream American mentality so you dont fall victim to it (over spending, over consumption, happiness through materialism, social competitiveness).

Any opinions or suggestions how to further spiritual peace within oneself in the USA?

Sounds like you have a plan. But if you have spare time, why not work more so you can spend 6 months abroad in a year instead of 4? Better yet, why not try to find a way to get income which does not require you to be in the US at all?

I agree about avoiding the media. It is easy to be pulled too far down that rabbit hole. I would add that you might be well advised to avoid the majority of HA posts. Most of them are nothing but complaints about perceived problems and rationalization of victimhood. There is no positive to come from them.

One other thing that you might look into is Vipassana Meditation. https://www.dhamma.org/ This organization will give you a 10 day meditation retreat; instruction, food and a place to stay--free of charge. They tell you that your retreat was paid for by someone who went to a retreat before you. If you would like to donate, you are allowed to do so only after you have completed a retreat. There is no pressure to donate, you are never put on the spot to do so. I am very cynical about organizations in general, but this one passes all of my tests.

[International Gringo]

Thx Devil Dog for the info, ill check out that website