Doesn't being a single guy make you feel like an anomaly and odd man out in America?

[Winston]

Do any of you notice these things about America that are weird and awkward? Is it only the suburbs or Las Vegas that this is true? Or all of America?

There seems to be this weird assumption when you are out in public, that you do not need romance, a date, love, sex, or to meet women. It's assumed that you already have a wife and that if you need sex or romance, then you should get it from her, not seek it elsewhere. And that your focus is on raising your family, because everyone in America seems to be married and settled down. If you are not, then you are an anomaly and an odd man out. It's very weird and isolating. It's like America constantly tells you that you don't belong here and that you are the odd man out, since everyone exists to raise their family and is settled down except you. Everything in America is geared toward couples and families it seems, so if you are a single man, you are an anomaly and odd man out and have no place. It's very alienating and unforgiving to those who didn't marry their high school sweetheart and settle down early in life.

Any of you get this feeling too in America? It's very isolating and punishing, as if you are excluded and being punished for not settling down early and marrying your high school or college sweetheart. That's so mean. How come other countries like those in SE Asia or Latin America don't make you feel that way? It's as if there is nothing to do in America if you are single guy, and no place? As if you shouldn't even be here. Very alienating for sure. And unfriendly as well.

So basically, it's like America expects you to settle down early with your sweetheart from school or college, and then for the rest of your life never talk to strangers again unless it's business-related? Do I have that right? That's what it seems like.

How come there's nothing to do in America if you are single? What do single people do in America? In Europe, Russia, SE Asia and Latin America there is TONS to do for single men, and lots of single women to hang out with. How come that's not the case with America? It's like everyone is married and settled down. That's so NARROW. Why are Americans so square and narrow in real life, but in the movies they are so open and wild and freespirited? The difference between Americans in the movies vs real life is like 1000 percent!

Any of you notice this too? It's like if you are single, you have no place in America and nothing to do, but feel alienated all the time. It's very AWKWARD for sure. Why bother coming to America at all? The nature and land in America is beautiful, however the social environment, people, culture, and cement environment is very antisocial, unfriendly, cold, toxic, mean, paranoid, dehumanizing, and invalidating. Very God awful. There is no warmth, closeness, or sincerity at all. No fun or freedom or love or connection or friendly vibes either. Why do the Gods or God allow such an unfriendly unnatural environment like America, where everyone is married and settled early and never talks to any strangers after that? What kind of a weird F-ed up society is that? It's very unnatural and inhuman.

Moreover I never understood how you are supposed to be married and settled down in America if women aren't friendly or approachable, and do not like men and are not feminine and are cold and impossible to connect with? Especially white women? Isn't that the biggest oxymoron?

Do any of you think these thoughts when you are outside in the American suburbs too?

I even feel awkward walking in the streets of my neighborhood. Because no one is outside. Everyone is shut inside and when they drive home, they quickly close the garage door. There's a paranoid energy too even when no one is around. So I feel awkward and out of place even taking a walk in my neighborhood. Any of you feel this way too? It's worse than Washington, it's like Las Vegas locals are EXTRA UNFRIENDLY and antisocial for some reason. I haven't seen a single friendly social person in the Vegas suburbs at all. It's very weird and creepy and makes me feel like a freak for no reason. Very friggin weird.

What you think @jamesbond?

[kangarunner]

Do any of you notice these things about America that are weird and awkward? Is it only the suburbs or Las Vegas that this is true? Or all of America?

There seems to be this weird assumption when you are out in public, that you do not need romance, a date, love, sex, or to meet women. It's assumed that you already have a wife and that if you need sex or romance, then you should get it from her, not seek it elsewhere. And that your focus is on raising your family, because everyone in America seems to be married and settled down. If you are not, then you are an anomaly and an odd man out. It's very weird and isolating. It's like America constantly tells you that you don't belong here and that you are the odd man out, since everyone exists to raise their family and is settled down except you. Everything in America is geared toward couples and families it seems, so if you are a single man, you are an anomaly and odd man out and have no place. It's very alienating and unforgiving to those who didn't marry their high school sweetheart and settle down early in life.

Any of you get this feeling too in America? It's very isolating and punishing, as if you are excluded and being punished for not settling down early and marrying your high school or college sweetheart. That's so mean. How come other countries like those in SE Asia or Latin America don't make you feel that way? It's as if there is nothing to do in America if you are single guy, and no place? As if you shouldn't even be here. Very alienating for sure. And unfriendly as well.

So basically, it's like America expects you to settle down early with your sweetheart from school or college, and then for the rest of your life never talk to strangers again unless it's business-related? Do I have that right? That's what it seems like.

How come there's nothing to do in America if you are single? What do single people do in America? In Europe, Russia, SE Asia and Latin America there is TONS to do for single men, and lots of single women to hang out with. How come that's not the case with America? It's like everyone is married and settled down. That's so NARROW. Why are Americans so square and narrow in real life, but in the movies they are so open and wild and freespirited? The difference between Americans in the movies vs real life is like 1000 percent!

Any of you notice this too? It's like if you are single, you have no place in America and nothing to do, but feel alienated all the time. It's very AWKWARD for sure. Why bother coming to America at all? The nature and land in America is beautiful, however the social environment, people, culture, and cement environment is very antisocial, unfriendly, cold, toxic, mean, paranoid, dehumanizing, and invalidating. Very God awful. There is no warmth, closeness, or sincerity at all. No fun or freedom or love or connection or friendly vibes either. Why do the Gods or God allow such an unfriendly unnatural environment like America, where everyone is married and settled early and never talks to any strangers after that? What kind of a weird F-ed up society is that? It's very unnatural and inhuman.

Moreover I never understood how you are supposed to be married and settled down in America if women aren't friendly or approachable, and do not like men and are not feminine and are cold and impossible to connect with? Especially white women? Isn't that the biggest oxymoron?

Do any of you think these thoughts when you are outside in the American suburbs too?

I even feel awkward walking in the streets of my neighborhood. Because no one is outside. Everyone is shut inside and when they drive home, they quickly close the garage door. There's a paranoid energy too even when no one is around. So I feel awkward and out of place even taking a walk in my neighborhood. Any of you feel this way too? It's worse than Washington, it's like Las Vegas locals are EXTRA UNFRIENDLY and antisocial for some reason. I haven't seen a single friendly social person in the Vegas suburbs at all. It's very weird and creepy and makes me feel like a freak for no reason. Very friggin weird.

What you think @jamesbond?

There's this attitude in this country that you're just supposed to already have it. If you don't have it, then you're supposed to be able to know how to get it anyway. And if you don't know how to get it, then they tell you to "just be more confident and put yourself out there."

The PUA guys sell courses to guys "who don't know how to get it".

And American culture doesn't allow you to talk openly like you just did in your original post. If you were to talk like that to anyone in America they would think you're crazy......

Mainly because it would be outside the norm, outside the mainstream and Puritan culture exiles people who do that.

[kangarunner]

So to answer your question, you have to look at the Puritan roots of this country. Adding to that, this country isn't really a unified country. It's more like just a bunch of people of disparate races inhabiting the same land all in the interest of taking their cut from their labors. No one wants to associate with anyone else unless it's for their own self-interests and profit.

[Outcast9428]

Hardly anybody marries their high school or college sweetheart in America anymore though. I wish we did, but for most people that's fairly unusual. Some 25%-30% of people in America now will never marry which I think is an incredibly sad statistic. Some people in my extended family have married their high school and college sweethearts, but my whole family is exclusively conservative.

I mean, I think society should promote being married and settling down, but it obviously needs to provide methods for single people to meet if it wants this to happen.

[Winston]

Hardly anybody marries their high school or college sweetheart in America anymore though. I wish we did, but for most people that's fairly unusual. Some 25%-30% of people in America now will never marry which I think is an incredibly sad statistic. Some people in my extended family have married their high school and college sweethearts, but my whole family is exclusively conservative.

I mean, I think society should promote being married and settling down, but it obviously needs to provide methods for single people to meet if it wants this to happen.

Well that's what I don't get. I agree that it's improbable that every American marries their high school sweetheart like they show in the movies. However, why then is everyone married and settled down in the US suburbs? The suburbs are all married couples and families. Haven't you noticed? Where are all the single people in America? In restaurants no one eats alone in America. But in the Philippines you see single people everywhere. How can that be? Where do the singles hide in America? Are there settlements or cities where all the singles go that I don't see?

Also when you turn on the news or YouTube, everyone on there talks to the audience as though they were married and settled down and had kids to raise. This means that even the media assumes you are married and settled down if you are watching TV. They act as if getting a wife in America is something you are born with, as if everyone has a wife or spouse. How can that be since it's literally impossible for most of the guys on this forum? That's what I don't get. Do you see my point?

[Winston]

So to answer your question, you have to look at the Puritan roots of this country. Adding to that, this country isn't really a unified country. It's more like just a bunch of people of disparate races inhabiting the same land all in the interest of taking their cut from their labors. No one wants to associate with anyone else unless it's for their own self-interests and profit.

That's true too. But America doesn't make sense. Why do you see couples and families everywhere and no single people? Even if you go into Walmart, you will see couples and families mostly. You won't even see many people shopping at Walmart alone. Why is that? Even when I go to Walmart I feel like an anomaly or odd man out. I know there are some people shopping at Walmart alone, but they are maybe 5 or 10 percent, and they usually look like married women or housewives taking a break from their family to have some alone time. 90 or 95 percent of the shoppers there are with family or friends or with their significant other. How can that be if America is so unfriendly and antisocial and closed off socially to us? What am I missing? Something doesn't add up. It's weird.

[kangarunner]

How can that be if America is so unfriendly and antisocial and closed off socially to us? What am I missing? Something doesn't add up. It's weird.

You're talking about Walmart. There's plenty of single people (men and women) in Las Vegas. @Winston Honestly, have you tried just walking down the Strip in Las Vegas and making random conversation with people walking? You should try it and it may change your mind.

[Winston]

I don't see any singles in Las Vegas. Not even on the strip. Sure there may be some weirdos or psychos that may talk to you, but they don't look safe and don't look like they are normal decent people. It feels dangerous to talk to them, not because I'm paranoid but because they have that "danger vibe" about them. You know what I mean? It feels like asking for trouble. It's not like they are kind and gentle. No way. Come on. So only psychos with a danger vibe talk to strangers in America? WTF?

[Outcast9428]

Hardly anybody marries their high school or college sweetheart in America anymore though. I wish we did, but for most people that's fairly unusual. Some 25%-30% of people in America now will never marry which I think is an incredibly sad statistic. Some people in my extended family have married their high school and college sweethearts, but my whole family is exclusively conservative.

I mean, I think society should promote being married and settling down, but it obviously needs to provide methods for single people to meet if it wants this to happen.

Well that's what I don't get. I agree that it's improbable that every American marries their high school sweetheart like they show in the movies. However, why then is everyone married and settled down in the US suburbs? The suburbs are all married couples and families. Haven't you noticed? Where are all the single people in America? In restaurants no one eats alone in America. But in the Philippines you see single people everywhere. How can that be? Where do the singles hide in America? Are there settlements or cities where all the singles go that I don't see?

Also when you turn on the news or YouTube, everyone on there talks to the audience as though they were married and settled down and had kids to raise. This means that even the media assumes you are married and settled down if you are watching TV. They act as if getting a wife in America is something you are born with, as if everyone has a wife or spouse. How can that be since it's literally impossible for most of the guys on this forum? That's what I don't get. Do you see my point?

I guess the single people are overwhelmingly living in the cities or in apartments rather then owning homes. At least all the single people I know are either living with their parents or living in an apartment. You don’t often see married people in the downtown cities.

I can imagine Las Vegas being a creepy environment. I would think Vegas would have a lot of sketchy people around.

[Pixel--Dude]

I have a healthy view of being single. It's obviously nice to share important moments with a significant other, but I am someone who likes their own space. I don't think anyone should ever feel inadequate in any way simply for being single. Remember that you have worth as a single person as well and that worth is not defined by being in a romantic relationship. That's my opinion.

[dancilley]

I also experienced that negative, unfriendly, dark vibe while walking through the neighborhood in Las Vegas when I rented an apartment there in Nov. of 2016. Las Vegas has a worse vibe than Downtown L.A. I thought the vibe of Downtown L.A. was bad, but I have been to several places now that had a darker and more evil vibe. Vegas has a very emotionally cold, unwelcoming vibe to me.

The Denver, CO airport has good vibes. The downtown Denver underground bus depot is a very uncomfortable, creepy, dirty environment.

Skid Row, Downtown L.A. is always nervewracking to walk through, but at the same time, it doesn't feel evil. It usually has a vibrant energy to it.

The Portland, OR train station does not have a bad vibe, but the employees acted weird. One employee did not smile at all and looked like he was going to kill someone, one black security employee asked everyone to show him our tickets, and his demeanor was stressful to deal with. There was a crazy man who entered a restricted area, another employee looked extremely tired and like a zombie. The overall vibe was good though.

Spokane, WA has a cold, evil feeling to it to go along with the snow and 25-degree temperature in December. There are crazy, schizophrenic men who are in the train station, and a woman seemingly was forced into a car against her will in the downtown area.

St. George, UT felt good to me. The population density seems low, and the price for hotels was inexpensive.

Cedar City, UT is not very good. An intoxicated man asked me to give him a ride, and at the Smith's grocery store, they don't let people buy individual cans or bottles of beer because people steal them I guess. And someone aggressively drove to beat me for a fuel pump space and I had to slam on my brakes because we were approaching the pump from opposite directions and the vehicle seemed to be driving straight toward me. The overall vibe in the grocery store felt tense.

Short Creek, Utah (the polygamist capital of the U.S.A.) is a very beautiful location, but the men are very angry because they are in competition with one another because of the knowledge that other men have multiple women probably. It seems to be a super closed community to outsiders, even though now, it is supposesed to be totally welcoming to newcomers.

Provo, UT seems to be a very good place.

Casper, WY is a pretty good place. They have a microwave available for use in the Smith's grocery store and restrooms at the front of the store that are not locked. No graffiti that I noticed. And someone was selling Trump shirts in the parking lot.

Gillette, WY also is a good place. The vibe in the grocery store was good and you don't have to wait in line, but rather, the cashier clerk waits in front of the checkstand for the next person. There were a lot of kids in the store. The store was super clean and well-stocked and organized. The clerk also called me, "Sir."

Orange County, CA is significantly better than Los Angeles. On one day alone, literally six people initiated communication with me:

- The first person was a moderately young man who was standing up in the train when we got on because for some reason, the entire train was full, even though everyone was supposed to have a seat. He said, "Good luck finding a seat upstairs."

- The second person was an older Asian female who overheard that I was having trouble paying for my Costco food at the food court. I assumed they accepted EBT-cash, but they didn't, and also did not accept credit cards, so I could not pay. The Asian woman paid two dollars and something cents for our food.

- The third person was an older man who noticed that I did not want to sit down at a table on which the sunlight was shining. He offered us his table as his family was leaving.

- The fourth person was a moderately young Asian female who had a child and was asking if the side of the platform we were on was the correct side for her.

- The fifth person was a moderately young white man who was descending the stairs for the pedestrian overpass as I was ascending them. He was asking if the crazy homeless-looking people below who were having an altercation happens alot: "Is it like this all the time?"

- The sixth person was a moderately young (not old) black man who asked me if I knew where the bathrooms were.

This was in Fullerton, CA.

A remarkably good vibe I've felt was northern Nevada while driving with almost zero traffic on a Friday morning during rush hour on the smoothly paved I-80 in January 2022. It was a very relaxing feeling because there are like no vehicles on the freeway, and the population density in that area is very low. The motels are cheap too. Like 2/3 of NV is BLM camping land, where you can camp and defecate in the ground for free for 14 days at a time (then you have to move 25 miles away and can repeat the process)...so it is a very nice feeling, it is very freeing feeling when you don't have to worry about paying rent, and if you do choose to buy land, it is very cheap, and the weather is more mild than other places.

[dancilley]

And yes, I totally agree with @Winston that everything is set up so that human sexuality and reproduction are downplayed greatly to the point of being perceived as unimportant...but the truth is that engaging in the process of sexual reproduction is what everyone needs to be doing in order to feel healthy and happy. Businesses try to serve you something that will sublimate your desire for sexual activity. They don't want to promote sexual activity itself because that would satisfy you and make you happy, which would obviate or render obsolete what they are selling.

What makes it way worse though, is when you attempt to flirt with or be romantic with females, and they act as though you are a creep, pervert, etc. for doing so AND other men also confront you and shame you AND even stretch the truth about you by lying about you, that you are a pedophile, by telling everyone in the immediate vicinity that you are a pedophile, that you are a dangerous person, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth though: It is completely natural and normal to look at females, to smile at them and want to talk to them and tell them they are beautiful, etc....so when people act as though you are an evil person for doing so, it is in direct opposition to your biology, so it is highly stressful, highly depressing, and you are at a loss for words as to how a person could perceive natural, traditional (what should be perceived as "romantic") male behavior as almost criminal (or actually criminal now, in some countries). It's insane. I think people have been indoctrinated over many decades by movies, shows, etc. to believe that approaching strangers is wrong, that expressing a sexual interest in underage girls makes you a pedophile, etc. The Jews want everyone to believe that underage persons are sexually off-limits because supposedly Jews are encouraged to have sex with children as young as three years old (that's what I have read on gab.com). Girls usually reach sexual maturity by age 14, so definitely, expressing a desire for girls aged 14 and up should be completely socially acceptable.

[kangarunner]

It's because the vagina is more powerful and valuable than the dick in America. American women have gotten very smart about wielding power over men.

[Winston]

I guess the single people are overwhelmingly living in the cities or in apartments rather then owning homes. At least all the single people I know are either living with their parents or living in an apartment. You don’t often see married people in the downtown cities.

I can imagine Las Vegas being a creepy environment. I would think Vegas would have a lot of sketchy people around.

But if you are in the suburbs you don't see any singles. Even if you see them, they don't talk to you, they just walk by. Have you noticed that trying to be social in America feels like it's unnatural and AGAINST the flow, like trying to paddle a boat upstream? Even if you go on Meetup.com to meet people at get togethers there, the whole thing still feels unnatural, like it's against the flow. You know what I mean? It's like the vibe in America wants you to be antisocial and afraid to meet people. It's kinda creepy. You don't feel that way in SE Asia though. I wonder why. Why does location make such a big difference, and why does no one in the self help movement mention it except us???

Yes Vegas is sort of a creepy environment, and the people look spoiled rotten. The women all fake hair and bad attitudes. They never look down to earth. They look cold too. It's not just creepy, it's antisocial too.

However, keep in mind that casinos are not all the same. For example, if you've been to Reno or Carson City or Lake Tahoe in Northern Nevada, they have hotel casinos too. But the people look more normal and relaxed. Not as creepy or weird. Any of you been to Northern Nevada? What about you @dancilley?

[Winston]

Another way besides being single, that I feel like I'm an odd man out in America, is that everyone seems to be following some kind of script. Do any of you notice that? It's like I don't have any script to follow but everyone seems to be on a script. It's like being in a movie set and being the only actor without a script. I heard that people with Aspergers say they feel that way too. Do any of you feel that way?

However, can't you be different from others without having Aspergers? Plus, if being an aspie means you don't have a script and are not on auto pilot like normies (neurotypical people) then that speaks volumes doesn't it? Doesn't it mean you are awake? How can it mean you have some mental disorder? I don't get it. So basically, according to people like PAG and HouseMD, if you not on the wavelength or frequency that normies are, then you have Aspergers? Can't you just be different without having a mental disorder?