Why the HUGE difference: Americans in movies vs. real life

[Winston]

Why is there such a HUGE humungus difference between Americans in the movies and in real life? In the movies they are very talkative, communicative, open, expressive, and warm. But in real life they are very private, reserved, with a thick psychological wall around them, and don't talk to you unless it's business related.

No wonder why Japanese think Americans are open and expressive, it must be from the movies.

I wonder why Americans in real life don't imitate the Americans in the movies?

Being abroad for three years, my only exposure to America was on TV. So I got the impression that people were very expressive and communicative there. Now that I'm back, I see a huge difference. Funny how that works.

Have any of you ever felt like you were the only one that was "normal" in a group, society or population around you, as if everyone else was an automaton with a tunnel vision and shallow mind, while you were the only one with normal feelings and thoughts? Anyone ever felt that way? I feel like that all the time.

[gmm567]

You asked me about this....and my answer is...I am not sure.

I don't see many movies...so I can't really come to any opinion.


I do think that your generalization about movies might be too broad. There are
tons of different types of movies. Horror movies for example don't show americans
in the light that you describe.

[Winston]

Yeah but if you've seen any movie, you know what I mean. Even in horror movies, the characters have to talk a lot and be very communicative and expressive, otherwise the movie would be boring. The film has to hold your attention. Remember?

[zboy1]

Most movies are made to dumb down the population and to propagandize . Once in a blue moon a movie may come along and break the mold and manages to both entertain and inform. But those kind of movies are often difficult to produce in Hollywood because the suits prefer dumb shit movies for the masses. I prefer watching a lot of the old movies than recent ones. Of the newer films I enjoyed Lord of the Rings, V for Vendetta, The Matrix, and I also like watching documentaries. I cannot watch any television anymore because it filled with mindless junk and reality TV shows. I stick to PBS, Discovery, National Geographic and the History Channel and sometimes ESPN. Otherwise I feel like I'm going dumb watching T.V.

[jamesbond]

It's funny, what you see in the movies is actually the exact OPPOSITE of how things are in the US in real life! Of course in the movies and on tv shows, women are shown to be friendly and flirtacious towards men (which is just the opposite in real life). Men are shown in movies and tv shows in the US to meet women with no problem and get laid with no problem. (of course nothing could be further from the truth in real life).

No wonder guys who live in foreign countries who watch American tv shows and American movies think that the US is a great place to meet women and get laid. Then if they come to the US, they find out it's just the opposite!

[jtest28]

It's funny, what you see in the movies is actually the exact OPPOSITE of how things are in the US in real life! Of course in the movies and on tv shows, women are shown to be friendly and flirtatious towards men (which is just the opposite in real life). Men are shown in movies and TV shows in the US to meet women with no problem and get laid with no problem. (of course nothing could be further from the truth in real life).

No wonder guys who live in foreign countries who watch American TV shows and American movies think that the US is a great place to meet women and get laid. Then if they come to the US, they find out it's just the opposite!

Exactly. And what adds to the aggravation is just how many American women think what's on TV is an accurate portrayal of real life. Just today, my mom was saying how some overweight woman at work was complaining of all the hot women who date fat, bald, broke men and how unfair it was. Seriously! It's like, how the hell can anyone not see what in REALITY??? Because I see a bunch of good-looking men fighting over fat and ugly women and any fat man is girlfriendless....

Once, this Russian chick was asking why I didn't just grab one of the many attractive women we have in the USA to marry. At least she has the excuse of having never been here before. What's AW's excuse?

[Winston]

This guy explained to me why America is so prudish in real life, despite the fact that sex is talked about very openly in sitcoms and comedy movies.

Hi Winston,

I mostly agree with you with some differences.

It is not strictly a US thing. It is common to the USA, Canada and the UK as well. That is because our attitudes in American were formed through many years of "Victorianism" combined with religion. Thus the idea is as follows in somewhat order of importance.

1 sex is dirty! It is not supposed to be a recreational activity..one needs to do it to produce children but it is wrong to enjoy it too much.

2 Religion says we should abstain except to procreate. Even many non religious will finally admit to thinking that way.

3. The Puritan work ethic says we should keep ones nose to the grindstone and ones trousers zipped.

4 The Catholic church (and most fundamentalists) say birth control is a sin and thus one should have children to further souls for the church and to keep ones lust inside the home with ones wife... and not to be discussed elsewhere.

5 One should only date or associate with people to whom they have been properly introduced, or who are members of ones same clup, church, work group etc. This is VERY English. That the person in Piccadilly square when asked for directions by a foreigner replies "Sorry but we have not been formally introduced!" If you try to daye outside of these constraints you find it very difficult in these countries.. unless you are in a bar or bordello.

6 YES some may do it but lets not talk about this shameful and dirty thing! (unless we are drunk or gay or some other minority away from mainstream thinking).

The discovery channel recently had a series "The History of Sex" and they mentioned that Queen Victoria instituted tablecloths because she feared the shapely legs of tables would incite males to unbridled LUST LOL So tables, like women should wear long skirts!

Central and Eastern Europe as well as Asia has always had a more relaxed attitude about sex. Dating in the West is considered a prelude to sexual intentions so it is all connected. In the West women will think (when you ask them out) that you are "hitting on them" with the intention of sex. The barriers fly up and they become defensive where anything you say will be interpreted as "a pickup line" (pickup for sex).

If women initiate it.. they are HO's or Sluts and hitting on the man to get laid. Knowing that, women always hold back in the West.

Things in the USA, Canada and UK are not likely to mellow out anytime soon.. While sexual minorities and attitudes are out there probably 75% of Americans feel like the above.... decent people should not behave like that.

NOW VEGAS promotes itself as an area where people can go and "be naughty" and let it remain there so family, church and friends need not know what you may have done. Things as innocent as binge eating, gambling (also sinful), excessive drinking, watching naughty entertainment or cheating with someone else's wife. One is promised they can fly home and back to their Baptist Church with no one the wiser about their behavior!

THAT'S the whole scheme of "what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas!"
Yes I have seen it too... off the strip, Vegas is really a very seedy place

Andrew

[Hero]

It's funny, what you see in the movies is actually the exact OPPOSITE of how things are in the US in real life! Of course in the movies and on tv shows, women are shown to be friendly and flirtacious towards men (which is just the opposite in real life). Men are shown in movies and tv shows in the US to meet women with no problem and get laid with no problem. (of course nothing could be further from the truth in real life).

Yes, exactly! Do you ever watch "Family Guy" or "The Simpsons"? You see attractive, intelligent women married to fat, stupid losers. But in real life, all I ever see is fit, successful men dating absolute pigs!

[Hero]

Just today, my mom was saying how some overweight woman at work was complaining of all the hot women who date fat, bald, broke men and how unfair it was.

WTF?? How could she possibly think that? I would challenge your mother's co-worker to show me some examples.

[firethrower1000]

Hell yeah i felt like this every single day i was in America...Thats a good question why dont they imitate the movies??? All i know is that when i first went to school in texas i felt like the teachers where never sirious with teaching us important stuff like when i was back in Europe and in fact the Teachers seemed cooler compared to the ones in Europe because they always joked around sometimes and liked to have funny conversations with the students but in REALITY i realised that when we had conversations they were conditioning the students into believing wathever they were saying and the worst tning is that most things thay say really defies all logic in my opinion when you said they are trying to dumb us down you were relly not kidding you know...its relly serious...A TRUE human being in my opinion is not made to just work and consume, Its like saying horses are just made to carry humans on their backs and thats it forget about its feelings and chances of fonding a family...Well its not...Unlike others i rather focus on living life to the fullest rather than waisting time with popularity, exess working, racism etc...i rather keep myself healthy,eat right, exercise,work,discover real love with a real feminin beauty...as a matter of fact outside of America Love is even more beautifull than it seems...in the streets in europe you basically see couples everywere kissing,hugging,cuddling ,taking walks laughing with one another...Spercially on valentines day and Christmas believe me they know how to celebrate since they have real feelings unlike most Americans...I JUST LOVE IT when i go for a fresh walk and see loving couples all over the place almost all the girls walk around with a lean skinny body,skirts and heels and a fresh romantic smelling parfum...ITs like we are this big family of human beigns just making the most out of our lucky beautifull lives while back in America people just keep working long hours and consuming then eating ships in front of the TV and the next they they restart all over again, am i right Winston? oh and to answer your question i think that i think that it proves that whoever is doing the scripts, producing etc are just as guily and they know that america could have been a better country if it wasnt for their rules comming mostly from feminists and besides to americans movies are just movies just like cartoons and disneys meaning its not realy its acting although it might be like this to also infuence outsiders or "Aliens" like they enjoy calling us foreigners i noticed...also many kids are bored in america if not deppressed i noticed this isolation thing is becoming really serious....

[Boner_Jones]

So Loris, I'm curious: now that you're back in your home country (Belgium), is life as a single male any better or more satisfying? Or do you find yourself wanting to get out and date foreign women like us guys here in the US? I just want to know because I've never lived in Europe and was curious how it compares with America

[Winston]

You are right Loris.

I just realized something too. I know a number of people in the US who have committed suicide. It usually shocks their loved ones. It's like they were suffering some silent pain or depression for a long time and never told anyone about it. The US culture is one of denial when it comes to pain, loneliness or depression. If you feel such things, no one wants to hear them. Everyone only wants to hear that you're having a "great day" everyday! So people have to hide their pain and keep it to themselves or go to a therapist.

It's very sad and shows how America is a culture of denial, where people suffer silently.

Anyone else know someone who's committed suicide in the US? If so, why did they do it?

I heard that stupid sappy radio show Delilah the other night and a lot of people were calling in saying that they felt depressed and irritable and didn't know why. It's like there's this emptiness inside Americans and they don't know why. There's a lot of silent inner pain in America it seems. So sad.

I never listen to Delilah of course. It was just playing in the background while driving. I have nothing against sappy things, I like them in fact, but Delilah's sappiness is so fricking fake and politically correct, it makes me sick.

I wonder how Delilah would respond if I called on her show and asked her why Americans are so anti-social and paranoid and how you are supposed to meet people when they never talk to unless it's for business?!

The other day we were in Costco and when we bought the pizza slices and sat down to eat, I looked all around me. I noticed that everyone had this force field or wall around them. They kept to themselves, minded their own business, and never talked to strangers unless it was for business related purposes. No connectedness between people at all. Not even eye contact. So weird. It's not just that people don't talk to others, it's also that it feels OUT OF BOUNDS to do so as well.

BTW, don't you all hate how in typical work environments in America, how EVERYONE EVERYDAY has to say to each other "How are you today?" and reply "I'm GREAT, how about yourself?" or "Not too bad!" with a positive tone of voice, even if you are feeling like shit in reality, like it's some mandatory act!? What a stupid fake act everyday!

[Winston]

Here's what a Dutch girl told me about the prudishness in America that she observed.

I, myself, am from Europe (the Netherlands) where I lived until about 8 years ago. Being brought up in such a liberal country has made it very difficult for me to adjust to the American life style. Soft drugs, Euthanasia, same sex marriages, and prostitution are all legal and are not looked as if they are taboo or wrong doing ( feel these things should also be legal in the U.S.)

As I said before I'm having a difficult time (still) adjusting to the American way of life. What are Americans PRUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stand it. Talking about sex is a taboo, having sex is a taboo and oh boy... what if you see a nipple or a butt crack on T.V., it better be blurred out before we realize that others have those, too. In the Netherlands (as well as other countries throughout Europe) we embrace nudity. Women go topless or walk around naked on the beach, we wear shirts without a bra where the nipple is shown through. It is sexy and not looked as perverted. We have T.V. commercials (even during the day) where nudity is shown. Something I really do not understand is that on T.V. in the U.S., plastic surgeries are shown, the breasts are cut open and everything is exposed except for the nipple that of course, are blurred out. Nipples, vagina's, penises and butt cracks are part of the human body and should not be looked upon as something disgusting.

[ladislav]

Another interesting thing is that when in such movies Americans are contrasted with other cultures, stereotypes are reinforced. For example, Brits are cold and overtly intellectual, while Americans are swaggering buddy types, Russians are unsmily and humorless, while Americans are these perennially 'open' and affable/joyful types. Germans are forever doing the Nazi salute and are again, anally retentive, barking dog-like creatures who never ever smile.
So an American is this informal, talkative and warm character, while others are just totally cold and reserved.
So, why is it the opposite in real life, then?

[SNS]

Hell yeah i felt like this every single day i was in America...Thats a good question why dont they imitate the movies??? ....

Damned straight.

This is an interesting thread here guys.

Not only do foreigners perceive Americans based on our movies, but even us! I suspect all the bullshit propaganda fed to us by the movies in Femerikka is the glue that keeps the country from going to civil war. Women being portrayed as being human and compassionate, quite the opposite no doubt. But most guys see TV shows and movies and their perception of their own environment is simply what is from the movies but they do not realize it.

A true Matrix.