Happier Abroad Forum Community

Check out this letter I got from a Russian woman in America, who came cause of marriage. She wrote me after seeing my foreigner/immigrant opinions page (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page32.htm) and wanted me to add it.

Ladislav, I thought you said Russian women loved America cause of all the attention they get? lol

Here is what she wrote. It's so true!


"Hello!

I by chance (looking actually at a completely different forum) encountered your site, and decided I simply HAVE to add my story/point of view...have to say it is all within the lines of what I've read (how immigrants view America/Americans...

I moved here 13 years ago, never planned, but that man met me in my home city, and couldn't leave alone for 2 years, which eventually ended up in marriage (me being very young, unaware of life, without life's wisdom)...we first lived in Texas...boondocks. I ma from Russia, country of soul, of mystics, of rich inner world, of great culture, literature, etc....What striked me to the point of not possible to put in words there: IGNORANCE (enough was said in your page there. same things, ppl not knowing the map of the world, geography, their own culture not talking about other cultures...back in Russia I did not even KNOW such things, this level of ignorance, is possible in the world...

2. Fakeness...again, ppl are not real, all wear masks, all pretend, a huge fake hypocritical, cold, indifferent, spiritless world. I felt I was communicating with lunatics or imbeciles. In Russia, no matter what profession or education one has, such thing as common sense is always present in a person, in every plummer, every peasant, every cleaner, etc. Here, even ppl with college degrees have no common sense in them. The very few OK Americans I met were from university from the Languages Dep, those who were deeply in touch with European cultures, people, mentality...

Anyway, then arn 9 years ago we moved to Arizona; Arizona is MUCH better than TX I have to admit, but the general American tendencies are no less ever present here, too.

Coldness, indifference, hypocrisy, lack of refinement, of culture, of common sense, of spirituality, of compassion are the most horrible characteristics of this country and its ppl. I would agree also to call it "insane asylum". This inner emptiness drives them to horde malls on the weekends, to look for their "bargains" and "specials", and to pass by others of their own kind that are in need.

I feel it is a Devil's place, a Devil's Kingdom on Earth par excellence. This world sucks on the whole, but in other places of this dark planet there is some soul lives on, some Spirit dwells in people's hearts still, and that soothes the trials of our every day existence. Here, in the US, the cruelty of their empty human hearts, which they call "individualism" is beyond belief. They are empty, cruel, soulless, spiritless, fake, dead ppl, automatons, biorobots. What else one can say...

Thank you for creating and bringing to the world your site, for the honesty and sincerity. Blessings "

Update:

Check out her second letter I posted here. It's even deeper and more intellectual. Wow!

http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... 5790#25790

Typical culture shock stage 2.

So what are all these smiling Russian faces to the right hoping for? Marry an American an go to the USA? I am sure they are not looking for husbands that they could bring to Russia and get them visas and jobs.
Russia is a bit opposite of the US in that it is basically a country that is romantic and not practical- full of open questions, demagoguery, outdated Eastern Orthodox philosophy and empty intellectualizing while practical things and niceties are delegated to the second burner. Just try and deal with their bureaucracy or argue something against the Orthodoxy. There was a guy recently there who tried to prove that Orthodoxy came from Judaism ( most of Christianity does, why would he even try to prove that?) He was axed to death.
Nobody wants to follow their life model and their way of life. I mean it- nobody!
Women like her should do their homework before getting on the plane.

I personally do not think America is the Devil. I just think dating there sucks plus meeting people is hard. And good jobs are hard to find. Everything else is OK by me.

Russian women are clearly way more cultured and intellectual then most westerners. But, it interests me that she complained about coldness and lack of spirituality. In recent released tapes, Mel Gibson screemed at his Russian mistress, Oksana “You have no soul�. I have met many Russian women and have been to the Ukraine and came away uncertain about their intentions and their ability to love. Maybe there is a cultural disconnect here somewhere.

catameran wrote:Russian women are clearly way more cultured and intellectual then most westerners. But, it interests me that she complained about coldness and lack of spirituality. In recent released tapes, Mel Gibson screemed at his Russian mistress, Oksana “You have no soul�. I have met many Russian women and have been to the Ukraine and came away uncertain about their intentions and their ability to love. Maybe there is a cultural disconnect here somewhere.

First of all, it is not 'the' Ukraine, just Ukraine. Ukraine is another country, don't you know ? Second why would you make conclusions about Russian women after having gone to Ukraine of all places? It is like making conclusions about Irish women after having gone to England. Ukrainians are a totally another nationality and are practical people. They like money. And they are the ones that supposedly have no soul. But on the other hand, watch this Ukraine video and song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3cvNz3RfKg

Very deep and the lyrics are great. Here is the translation:

The moon walks around the sky, starting its song
Dawns sing along with it.
Moon asked me – Do I know, or not
If you will love me in the spring?

I say - no, I do not know
I do not know.
My fate is to love you,

The moon walks around the sky, bringing its song
Stars sing along with it and I sang.
As I waited for you,
Quietly suffering in the night.
Why did you have go.
I do not know.

I say - no, I do not know
I do not know.
My fate is to love you,

If you can appreciate it and can vibrate on the same frequency, you will feel their love.

There is a cultural disconnect there, also. I personally think Russian women love men the Russian way and for this you need to know their culture. And they do have the ability to love. Their way, on their land, mostly.
Russian women that want to go and live in America and marry Americans and who love America are not your soulful Russians. Those would never leave their country or marry people who do not even appreciate their culture.
Anglos and E. Slavs in their raw form are incompatible. The cultural gap is too wide. Especially if one goes to a wrong country and thinks one is in Russia.

and your going to listen to mel gibson? for godsake!

Ladislav - you are correct about my mistake in English. I understand that Ukraine is a separate country. When I went to Kiev, about half of the women I met identified themselves as Russian, and they themselves made the distinction. Also, I met Russian women in the United States and corresponded with numerous Russian women in Russia. I met highly cultured women who regularly attended theater, but still my gut feelings told me they were more interested in their careers or other things then in being a wife. To me they all seemed cold. They didn’t talk about being a wife or mother, but talked about other things. I don’t think reciting poetry is evidence of a loving woman. My female Ukrainian translator who was an Orthodox Christian was the only one I really trusted there.

Master – I can’t stand Mel Gibson, but I found his remark interesting, and wonder whether there were cultural differences at work there or whether it was just that she was using him all along and never had any feelings for him. She seemed very calm in the tapes which perhaps means she didn’t give a crap about him, so what he said didn’t matter. A Latina could never remain that calm when provoked. In one of the tapes he talked about her giving him “sour looks� when he was knocking himself out to please her.

]Ladislav - you are correct about my mistake in English. I understand that Ukraine is a separate country. When I went to Kiev, about half of the women I met identified themselves as Russian, and they themselves made the distinction.

Oh I see. You basically met ethnic Russians living there. They are generally the ones who like to hook up with Americans and other foreigners. The same thing in Baltic countries. Half the population is ethnically Russian. But these so called "Russians" are foreign born and do not qualify for Russian citizenship. If they go to Russia, they have to get in line, get visa and work permits, etc. They are not Ukrainians either to Ukrainians.

They are basically like the Irish who live in Liverpool or Boston. These will identify themselves as Irish. But they are not Irish to the Irish. Stuck basically.

Well, because they live in Ukraine, they got the cold bug. They may be Russian by descent but many have never been to Russia itself and did not grow up in the dreamy Russian environment. One really needs to hang out in Russia to see what goes on.

Also, I met Russian women in the United States and corresponded with numerous Russian women in Russia. I met highly cultured women who regularly attended theater, but still my gut feelings told me they were more interested in their careers or other things then in being a wife. To me they all seemed cold. They didn’t talk about being a wife or mother, but talked about other things. I don’t think reciting poetry is evidence of a loving woman. My female Ukrainian translator who was an Orthodox Christian was the only one I really trusted there.

Anybody who lives/located in America is an American 1st and foremost. You met Russian- Americans. Even a tourist who goes to America is already somewhat American.

So, why are they writing letters to Americans? Don't they know that a guy is looking for wife? This is what I don't understand. These must be some Westernized women. American wannabes or something. Again, not typical.

The thing Mel Gibson said on those tapes that to me was the most interesting was that he no longer had a spiritual connection with his wife, and was looking for that from the Russian woman. Makes some sense, as Russians have the reputation for mysticism, spiritualism, intellectualism and soulfulness. I wouldn't necessarily be scared away from Russian women because they express themselves with a sort of cool, intellectual detachment, rather than the warm and fuzzy crap that Americans traffic in rather insincerely. Maybe Gibson was used to women expressing themselves in the language of American movies, and didn't know how to deal with the cool detachment of the Russian.

Americans are always hugging and saying "I love you." Translated into truthfulness, this sort of communication can be read: "we're both hanging on by a really slender thread, here, and this relationship is about to go kaput because there isn't any real substance to either one of us."

I don't know Catermeran, I'd love to try intellectually detached, and see where that relationship leads. God knows, it's not something you can find among brain-dead, narcissistic American women, who, indeed, couldn't find Russia (or maybe even the U.S.) on a map.

ladislav wrote:Typical culture shock stage 2.

So what are all these smiling Russian faces to the right hoping for? Marry an American an go to the USA? I am sure they are not looking for husbands that they could bring to Russia and get them visas and jobs.
Russia is a bit opposite of the US in that it is basically a country that is romantic and not practical- full of open questions, demagoguery, outdated Eastern Orthodox philosophy and empty intellectualizing while practical things and niceties are delegated to the second burner. Just try and deal with their bureaucracy or argue something against the Orthodoxy. There was a guy recently there who tried to prove that Orthodoxy came from Judaism ( most of Christianity does, why would he even try to prove that?) He was axed to death.
Nobody wants to follow their life model and their way of life. I mean it- nobody!
Women like her should do their homework before getting on the plane.

I personally do not think America is the Devil. I just think dating there sucks plus meeting people is hard. And good jobs are hard to find. Everything else is OK by me.

I don't think this is culture shock or stage 2, as she said she moved from TX to AZ 9 years ago, she must have been in the US for a decade at least. After that long, it's not culture shock anymore. It's just her honest opinion. You have to remember that she was not indoctrinated with American mind control from childhood, so she sees things differently.

By "the devil" I think she means that America is soulless and taking away her soul, a silent evil so to speak. Evil is not always open and obvious, like Hitler or a tyrant. Sometimes it's subtle and invisible, but there nonetheless.

catameran wrote:Russian women are clearly way more cultured and intellectual then most westerners. But, it interests me that she complained about coldness and lack of spirituality. In recent released tapes, Mel Gibson screemed at his Russian mistress, Oksana “You have no soul�. I have met many Russian women and have been to the Ukraine and came away uncertain about their intentions and their ability to love. Maybe there is a cultural disconnect here somewhere.

Well we aren't talking about individuals here. Mel Gibson's mistress is just one person. She may be soulless and a gold digging bitch. You can't judge Russian culture by her, anymore than you can judge American culture by how I am.

Gibson has not spent long amounts of time in Russia, so he doesn't know that the culture there is full of soul and passion. But it's at a level that most Americans aren't attuned to, so they don't notice right away.

But I definitely notice it there though, and resonate with it. It coarses in my veins. And it makes me feel alive and free, more than ever.

So why is it that very few people are interested in Russia and billions love the US and want to visit/live/ follow the US and its culture?

ladislav wrote:So why is it that very few people are interested in Russia and billions love the US and want to visit/live/ follow the US and its culture?

Money and weather. The U.S. is way overrated for both. There is a great climate on the coast of California, but that's where you'll find the most toxic people in the world. Economically, we're well on our way to being a third world country. Russia's reputation is mainly for freezing cold and failed communism.

I wonder why people say THE Ukraine? Even I say it and it never occurred to me why the country is addressed this way. Nobody ever says THE Poland after all.

This is one of the reasons why I'm uneasy about dating someone of another culture. I know married people where one is German and the other Italian and the friction caused by ethnic differences are profound. Germans for example tend to have this cool, emotionless demeanor, while Italians are all fiery passion. If you make a point to understand the person's heritage and why people behave the way they do, a relationship will have a better chance of working out. But sometimes they may just not be compatible due to their ethnic background, and it's something you have to consider.

In my case, consider myself very intellectual, so I could be compatible with a Russian in that sense. BUT I'm also very big on emotion, passion, romance, etc., and in that regard a Russian women might not be able to fill those needs. I'd actually have more in common with Latinas there, I think.

ladislav wrote:So why is it that very few people are interested in Russia and billions love the US and want to visit/live/ follow the US and its culture?

Besides the weather and money, America also spreads its fake Hollywood propaganda around the world, and controls powerful people in other countries to let them control their agenda.

Most non-Russian people don't know much about Russian culture anyway.

Linc4Love wrote:I wonder why people say THE Ukraine? Even I say it and it never occurred to me why the country is addressed this way. Nobody ever says THE Poland after all.

This is one of the reasons why I'm uneasy about dating someone of another culture. I know married people where one is German and the other Italian and the friction caused by ethnic differences are profound. Germans for example tend to have this cool, emotionless demeanor, while Italians are all fiery passion. If you make a point to understand the person's heritage and why people behave the way they do, a relationship will have a better chance of working out. But sometimes they may just not be compatible due to their ethnic background, and it's something you have to consider.

In my case, consider myself very intellectual, so I could be compatible with a Russian in that sense. BUT I'm also very big on emotion, passion, romance, etc., and in that regard a Russian women might not be able to fill those needs. I'd actually have more in common with Latinas there, I think.

I am not an English Teacher, but for example, I would say - "I am from America", or "I am from the United States". Likewise, "I am from the Ukraine", but "I am from Russia". I never say "I am from United States". I think it is the "the United States" which makes it sound the right way for me - although Ladislav is correct.