Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

[Tsar]

Here was a Captain Save-A-Hoe
He went up to the ship's wheel
Told his wimpy crew to row, row
He thought he had nerves of steel
Until placed under close scrutiny
Then he rescued a nympho skank
He caused a really terrible mutiny
Now the Captain walks the plank
Then came the yacht of Chad the Jock
He was saved because he's a real simp
Then was handed a great big stein of ale
The skanks all laughed because he's a gimp
He became ill and then turned green at the pail
His parrot said ye scurvy dog, there be land ahoy
Chad and his sluts unloaded the laughable boy

@Voyager1 No offense, just a joke.

Captain Save-A-Hoe is now back
He bought a brand new pirate ship
Everyone knows the guy is a quack
But he thinks he's all cool and hip
His first mate is a really great gimp
He saw a slutty girl in desperate need
As always, the Captain loves to simp
As usual, he went riding in on his steed
But his first mate staged another mutiny
Just like that time he saved a nympo skank
His new crew put him under great scrutiny
Forced the Captain to walk another plank
He was going to be devoured by a shark
But was once again saved by Chad the Jock

[Tsar]

Tsar went to a party one night
He approached Anya, a hot girl
Tsar planned a terrible delight
He would have that beautiful pearl
He handed her a brand new drink
She smiled and said thank you
Tsar smiled back with a wink
Tsar would soon try something new
Anya was sleepy, Tsar got her a bed
He undressed her sexy, skimpy clothes
He pushed inside, and then saw red
He realized her virgin blood now flows
She would awaken and feel really bad
Anya now his girlfriend, Tsar was glad

[Tsar]

Yick was in really big denial
His girlfriend left him alone
He went onto Jeremy Kyle
He spoke in a hostile tone
The audience began to boo
He started to shout and swear
He said he was partly a Jew
Jeremy Kyle gave him a stare
Yick became timid and tame
Like a bad dog put on a leash
Yick the Clown is quite lame
Like a piece of spoiled quiche
He's a mixed race British black
That's why he needs some slack

[Tsar]

Huddo was told to hold the door
People thought he was like Hodor
But he wasn't really that big or tall
Once he walked into a brick wall
He almost choked on a cherry tart
He almost got lost in a mini mart
He wants to go to the Land of Oz
Hit his head but he only saw stars
He might be rotten to his very core
Almost got killed by a rampaging boar
Wishes his pale skin could get a tan
Protested Donald Trump's travel ban
He is really one nasty, old Anglo Aussie
That's why he wants Tsar to date a floozy

[Tsar]

Gali thought he was a girl
Decided to give it a whirl
Put on makeup and lipstick
Grinded his ass against a dick
Music was playing at the club
Got invited to a very sleezy pub
Gali was quite the upcoming queer
He didn't do it on a really bad dare
Met the man to have dinner and drinks
Then they would explore their kinks
Then they went into the dark alley
That's how he became Girly Gali
The man lifted up Gali's miniskirt
Then f*cked Girly Gali into the dirt

[Huddo]

Huddo was told to hold the door
People thought he was like Hodor
But he wasn't really that big or tall
Once he walked into a brick wall
He almost choked on a cherry tart
He almost got lost in a mini mart
He wants to go to the Land of Oz
Hit his head but he only saw stars
He might be rotten to his very core
Almost got killed by a rampaging boar
Wishes his pale skin could get a tan
Protested Donald Trump's travel ban
He is really one nasty, old Anglo Aussie
That's why he wants Tsar to date a floozy

“Tsar will be a star
Travels to lands afar

Wanting girls youthful
Always more beautiful

Pure and untainted
But "white" they'll be painted

They'll lick with their tongue
They really aren't too young

Some people say it's a vice
Spencer said take Yohan's advice

But Tsar will not bow to others
He wants to make teen mothers”



Tsar will remain a virgin, incel star,
even if he travels to twenty lands afar

Totally ignored by all girls youthful, ugly, average and the more beautiful

They’ll remain pure and untainted, because broke and creepy he’s been painted

Not to mention gaging on their tongue, because he’s middle aged and they’re too young

Most see it’s an unhealthy vice.
Even Spencer said to take Yohan's advice

But Tsar will not listen to others.
Pity, because he’s downgrade for single mothers.

Now I’ve corrected your delusions as high as the moon, let’s address the obvious Elephant in the room.

Tsar the problem with your disrespectful sonnet to me, is this s..ts a national pastime for the average, everyday Auss...ie

You lack the verbal jousting skills that I honed in my teen years. You’re lack of imagination and cringey insults s..ts me to tears!!

Holdor? WTF! There’s only one way to use words like big and tall, that’s describing your mum as f..ked her hard against the wall!!

Then up her crusty vegemite valley, I cum deep in her guts. It wasn’t me that choked, it was her as she teabagged my nuts!!

F..king mini mart??, it’s a f..king servo you f..cking fool and It’s bloody obvious I’m already in OZ you wanker, you f..king tool!!

Stars are a conspiracy, I’m surprised you don’t know that!! and my heads protected by an ice wall, because it’s totally flat.

Rotten to the core?? You don’t know me so that’s a bit harsh. No offense, but these sonnets make you look disturbed and a complete arse!!

I was attacked and molested by your sister not a rampaging boar. I can see the confusion as she looks like a bush pig and f..ks like a whore!!

Really, who the f..k tells an Aussie he’s pale and needs a tan??. It’s in our Anthem... A sunburn country a wide brown land.

F..king Yanks and their preoccupation with politics and Trump. The rest of the world take more interest in their morning dump.

Nasty old Anglo Aussie... don’t you think coming from you, that’s a bit f..king rich?, when you’re a retarded no hoper and a rapey little incel bitch.

Despite all the good advice given by well meaning members here, you have no hope of finding a women, you’re not anywhere near.

Here’s some honest advice and from the mark I’m not too far. Chances are you’ll lose your virginity as a bitch behind bars.

No social skills or roof over your head and friends, job or money. Until you get your life together you’ll have nothing, especially a honey.

Even with this cluster f..k you call life, you talk about being a king. It comes across as delusional arrogance, more than anything.

You see great men don’t brag, I’d call it being humble I guess. This trait and being a man of action are qualities you’ll never possess.

Finally, we all see your lack of confidence and mental heath, when you need disrespectful sonnets to make you feel better about yourself.

F..king no offence!!

[Tsar]

@Huddo I write the sonnets for lolz, not to be disrespectful.

I honestly don't care about your poem but it's obvious that you took offense to my poem by your reaction.

[Huddo]

@Huddo I write the sonnets for lolz, not to be disrespectful.

I honestly don't care about your poem but it's obvious that you took offense to my poem by your reaction.

Your taking about a culture where we call mates c..ts and c..ts mate. You think a badly written primary school level poem fazes me?? I actually toned it down since you’re a foreigner. My 14 year old son is more offensive in his everyday tongue in cheek banter and a lot more witty off the cusp than anything you’ve spent hours wasting your time on in this thread.

There’s a reason we are called the most laid back easy going culture, where you can’t even take constructive criticism without going on the verbal attack... my poem would be eating you alive because even though it’s a bit of fun, it’s on the money and nailed your personality perfectly.

[Tsar]

@Huddo I write the sonnets for lolz, not to be disrespectful.

I honestly don't care about your poem but it's obvious that you took offense to my poem by your reaction.

Your taking about a culture where we call mates c..ts and c..ts mate. You think a badly written primary school level poem fazes me??.. My 14 year old son is more offensive in his everyday tongue in cheek banter and a lot more witty.

There’s a reason we are called the most laid back easy going culture, where you can’t even take constructive criticism without going on the verbal attack... my poem would be eating you alive because even though it’s a bit of fun, it’s on the money and nailed your personality perfectly.

That's your opinion but I disagree.

I also disagree that Australia is a laidback culture. It's like Canada or the UK. It also had one of the worst COVID-19 lockdown policies in the world.

[Huddo]

@Huddo I write the sonnets for lolz, not to be disrespectful.

I honestly don't care about your poem but it's obvious that you took offense to my poem by your reaction.

Your taking about a culture where we call mates c..ts and c..ts mate. You think a badly written primary school level poem fazes me??.. My 14 year old son is more offensive in his everyday tongue in cheek banter and a lot more witty.

There’s a reason we are called the most laid back easy going culture, where you can’t even take constructive criticism without going on the verbal attack... my poem would be eating you alive because even though it’s a bit of fun, it’s on the money and nailed your personality perfectly.

That's your opinion but I disagree.

I also disagree that Australia is a laidback culture. It's like Canada or the UK. It also had one of the worst COVID-19 lockdown policies in the world.

Lol the only inconvenience I’ve experienced is lack of toilet paper back at the start. Apart from that it’s been life as usual. You have no friends and no social skills, when have you ever hung out with an Aussie in real life?.... If you did you’d find most would consider you a mate and shout you a beer 30 seconds after meeting, even myself.

One comment I get when overseas is how easy it is to get along with us Aussies. There’s no BS, what you see is what you get. It’s why I have a large circle of international friends that grows every time I travel. I’ve literally had random Russians drag me off the street into their homes and treat me like family, minutes after meeting. When the last time that happened to you? Did you leave Bulgaria and Mexico with any friends?

[Tsar]

@Huddo I write the sonnets for lolz, not to be disrespectful.

I honestly don't care about your poem but it's obvious that you took offense to my poem by your reaction.

Your taking about a culture where we call mates c..ts and c..ts mate. You think a badly written primary school level poem fazes me??.. My 14 year old son is more offensive in his everyday tongue in cheek banter and a lot more witty.

There’s a reason we are called the most laid back easy going culture, where you can’t even take constructive criticism without going on the verbal attack... my poem would be eating you alive because even though it’s a bit of fun, it’s on the money and nailed your personality perfectly.

That's your opinion but I disagree.

I also disagree that Australia is a laidback culture. It's like Canada or the UK. It also had one of the worst COVID-19 lockdown policies in the world.

Lol the only inconvenience I’ve experienced is lack of toilet paper back at the start. Apart from that it’s been life as usual. You have no friends and no social skills, when have you ever hung out with an Aussie in real life?.... If you did you’d find most would consider you a mate and shout you a beer 30 seconds after meeting, even myself.

One comment I get when overseas is how easy it is to get along with us Aussies. There’s no BS, what you see is what you get. It’s why I have a large circle of international friends that grows every time I travel. I’ve literally had random Russians drag me off the street into their homes and treat me like family, minutes after meeting. When the last time that happened to you? Did you leave Bulgaria and Mexico with any friends?

I don't really go to rich nations. I also don't go to bars since it's more affordable to buy a bottle at a store and I don't go to clubs alone. I also don't want to invest my time into meeting old people. I want high school and college friends. I also didn't live in residential districts or near parks. I really only want to meet girls at a park. I rarely saw girls 14-24 in grocery stores. I don't like going out at night too often... besides, girls at bars and nightclubs won't typically be my type of girl. I prefer approaching girls during the day.

How about you give a story like how you met them and started talking to them? You must be very proficient in the Russian language.

Mexico doesn't have many young people out in the day that are young and I spent hours at parks. Why would it when everyone is in school or university? Mainly saw older people 30+, couples, and groups of friends. Cornfed knows it's not really easy without knowing people. I remember he made a thread about how there wasn't much to do as a single man. I only saw 2 or 3 really beautiful females and all of them were with a boyfriend or busy with 6+ friends. The acceptable ones were also usually with boyfriends. PAG was correct about the high obesity rate. 40% of females are overweight, fat, or obese like in America. This really makes it so it's not easy getting a girl. I also refuse to walk more than 30 minutes in Mexico to get somewhere because it's not as organized as Europe.

With Bulgaria, I wasn't really able to meet people because of my finances, lack of clothes, and I wasn't in a primary residential area. It was also the wrong season to meet anyone. I also was having to deal with not having any working debit or credit card, and bring unable to open a bank account. It was impossible to succeed under the circumstances. But I did see more girls than I have in Mexico. I don't like going out in the Winter.

I don't do something unless I believe I can succeed and if I think I won't succeed at something I try, I might just stop trying and try something new. If I see progress, it motivates me to keep trying or doing it.

[MrMan]

Mexico doesn't have many young people out in the day that are young and I spent hours at parks. Why would it when everyone is in school or university? Mainly saw older people 30+, couples, and groups of friends. Cornfed knows it's not really easy without knowing people. I remember he made a thread about how there wasn't much to do as a single man. I only saw 2 or 3 really beautiful females and all of them were with a boyfriend or busy with 6+ friends. The acceptable ones were also usually with boyfriends. PAG was correct about the high obesity rate. 40% of females are overweight, fat, or obese like in America. This really makes it so it's not easy getting a girl. I also refuse to walk more than 30 minutes in Mexico to get somewhere because it's not as organized as Europe.

If you can find parking near a large university campus in the US, you can roam the campus, hang out in whatever they call the grassy area(s) they have for students, go to the library and read books and meet people. A lot of universities in the US have clubs where non-students are allowed to attend. Does Mexico have locked-down campuses.

I have worked on college and university campuses in Indonesia, it would be strange for someone to be there without a reason. I never went to UI, but maybe someone could hang around that campus. It was not really made to be that friendly for that. The grass at the part I was at was unmowed and wasn't set up to be lounged around upon.

Thinking of most of the girls in Asia who showed some sort of interest in me (including body language), aside from attention from sales clerks, etc., I usually knew them from work or church. I met my wife when I went to her campus, near my house. It had English books in the library. We had some overlapping people as far as church goes, knowing some people in common.

Aside from that, as a tourist, if you could get some signs up for English classes or practice sessions or help with writing for a small fee around a college campus, you might be able to get to know students that way.

[Tsar]

There's a Brit that looks like a moose
The man loves playing duck duck goose
That good chap is really quite silly
I don't mean the great guy Dan Cilley
I am talking about the British Clown
Who has skin that is really brown
He once tried to enter the Parliament
He got covered in Johnson's excrement
He has an English teaching stint
I think that's a really good hint
He is living in mainland China
Enjoys an Asian Cougar's vagina
He is mean because he has a tiny dick
I think his terrible name might be Yick

[Tsar]

Wickedtraveller thought he was cool
But he was really the stupidest fool
He uses the most primitive iptracker
But what he really needs is a hacker
I told him many times he'll always lose
But he doesn't understand the clues
But he's just another stupid American
He is much less intelligent than a Pelican
It's to be expected of a wannabe superhero
He is a guy whose worth is equal to zero
I hope he dies of COVID-19 this winter
Or maybe terrible sepsis from a splinter
Maybe he will soon learn to live and let live
Or I will pay an assassin end him with a shiv
Maybe I will get the chance to cut off his head
I will see him join the ranks of the limitless dead

[Tsar]

A wicked traveler was caught
Soon to reap what he wrought
Tsar ordered him to be taken
This made the fool quite shaken
Tsar got a glass of beer from a keg
Drank it while Voyager1 began to beg
Then Tsar got his really sharp sword
All the crowd were excited and roared
That truthseeking traveler was now crying
He knew he was minutes away from dying
Tsar lifted the sword and brought it down
Voyager1 wouldn't see Tsar get his crown
Tsar had caused that wicked traveler to end
Voyager1 should have chosen to be a friend
The fool had instead chosen to lose his head
Now he has joined the ranks of the many dead