The Bible Movie Synopsis

[Pixel--Dude]

In a world devoid of life, the one true God had the desire to be worshipped. So he created humanity and gave them the ultimate choice: "Love me back, or burn!"

His favourite people rose up and wrote the world's best seller! A story all about how they are the favourite chosen people. The one book to rule them all!

Witness the Lord end incest and evil by drowning everyone on Earth, except the one good family who go on to produce more incest and evil. Having learned that water
doesn't stop incest and evil God destroys Soddom and Gomorrah with fire, except the one good family who go on to produce more incest and evil.

The Lord expert problem solver demands genocide after genocide of his creation for failing to accomplish their task of worshiping him and not doing so much incest and evil. Nothing seems to work, then the solution dawns on him. Instead of killing tons of evil people, just kill the one good person: his own son.

Step 1: impregnate a married 12 year old.
Step 2: Errrr.... actually there are no more steps.

Witness all the beautiful poetry and sage wisdom and share it however you like. Ignore all the barbarity, slavery and torture. That's out of context.

The most epic political tool to push your agenda with the authority of God! Because your opinions are always his opinions.

The Bible, coming soon to a theatre near you.

[fschmidt]

Clearly you need to make me the director and allow me to edit the script to reflect what the Old Testament says.

God creates the world and a variety of creatures ending with humans who have just enough intelligence to form their own ideas about how to live. God tells them to at least listen to what God and reality have to say instead of following their own insane moronic delusions. But no, these pathetic creatures just screw up over and over again. God keeps slaughtering them for eugenic reasons, but then they build up some civilization and make it dysgenic, and the cycle repeats.

So come on God, get on the ball and slaughter the 8 billion moronic scum who currently infest this world. Just leave the handful of people who aren't scum to repopulate the world. And I will do what I can to try to prevent the dysgenic cycle from happening again. That would be a happy ending.