Any of you had a mid-life crisis? How did u get over it?

[momopi]

1. Do you have MS project or Visio installed?

2. Do you still remember how to do a gantt chart from business school?

3. What method or system do you use (if any) for daily time/task management & milestone tracking?

[Taco]

As I got older I became more concerned about my appearance, here's my list of suggestions to make yourself look and feel younger.

1. Haircut - very short, if you have male pattern baldness keep your head shaved and tanned if needed
2. Facial Hair - having any facial hair will make you look older, get rid of it
3. Glasses - get micro thin lenses, no line bifocals or contact lenses
4. Face - i recommend microderm abrasion(3 treatments at least), all the old dead skin on your face is removed making you look years younger in a matter of weeks
5. Diet - cut back on carbs(flour and sugar), most of your diet should be rice, fruit, vegatables, fish and meat
6. Clothes - navy blue and black colors, wearing a suit and tie in public promotes a good image and will make you look wealthier
7. Workout - walk at least 1/2 hr. a day, free weights increase human growth hormone when your close to your max, keep your waist below 34 inches
8. Women - surround yourself with as many friendly, beautiful, young women as possible(Asia), even if you never date them
9. Job - get a low stress job if possible

[odbo]

Also, if you stop using the computer for a week or two, you will start to look 5 years younger. The internet is a great tool for learning and making money but it's also a huge waste of time and a cause of stress. Even with light-hearted content a computer itself just like a tv is not healthy to sit in front of. Know when to take a break, sometimes the best thing you can do is step back from everything for a week. Good things start to happen when you liberate yourself and get back to your roots.

[tmr]

A religious man who devotes a significant part of his life to benefiting others does not have a midlife crisis. He also realizes the ephemeral nature of the things that society deems to be the measure of success.

While helping others to achieve their goals he also owns to himself to make 'his own' dreams come true;not the ones society thinks he should be making come true. I am blessed with the fact that many people consider me a weirdo/crazy because I like things that are unconventional And I reach my own goals sooner or later. I am not here to get the approval of the bourgeoisie

The world has always been harsh for gentle, sensitive souls, in today's age only more so. ladislav, you speak well and give good advice to not seek approval of the bourgeoisie and we would all be wise to take it. If we are very sensitive we would do well to learn how to apply that sensitivity to places where it has tangible value, to get it out of the system that way.

[ricklee]

Hi all,
I woke up this morning feeling depressed, after a depressing dream. When I woke up, I was confused about where I was, because I thought my dream was the real world. It took me a while to remember who I was again.

Then I felt the depression of a mid-life crisis. Have any of you ever had one? If so, what was it like? And how did you get through it?

Do you ever feel like your life is passing you by? That you never got to do what your young heart dreamed of? Sad isn't it?

I'm guessing that the typical man in mid-life who has a career and family will think:

"What happened to those dreams I had of being rich, of travel and adventure? I'm just living this monotonous routine of overwork with a boring wife I stopped having sex with long ago. What a bummer. I feel so tied down, not free. It wasn't worth working so hard all these years just to buy so much useless junk and luxury items. All that stuff wasn't worth the stress I put up with and the precious years I lost that I'll never get back. I also miss the thrill of romance, seduction, conquest, love at first sight, etc. But I'm married for life, which bars me from all that, and not young and good looking anymore. I miss being in love. The pain and glory made me feel alive. But now my life is just a rut. It really sucks."

On the flip side, the guy who never had a normal life, but lived as a hippie, starving artist, vagabond, or just unconventionally with only a few thousand dollars in assets at a time, would be thinking:

"What happened to my life? Here I am in mid life, and I have no career, family or assets to boast, like normal people do. I have my own accomplishments, but none that the mainstream media would be impressed with. Is there something wrong with me? Am I a wasted loser, like society would label me? Has my life been a waste? I've gone against everything I've been taught. Was it really worth it? Have I missed out on normal life? Will I die alone and forgotten?"

What do you all think? Any of you fit in either of those categories? Anything you want to share? I know this is one of those touchy subjects that most guys are too macho to talk about. But we all have such thoughts, right?

There is no one answer to this question.. some people were meant to live life without commitments, some do. Some people get fulfilled with having a family, giving, helping others.. while other people like to spend everything they got on themselves. So what you have to find out is what works for you individually.. I personally find having a family and helping others much more appealing at this point of my life than "living free". I just grew out of it I guess.. but to each his own.

[Winston]

There is no one answer to this question.. some people were meant to live life without commitments, some do. Some people get fulfilled with having a family, giving, helping others.. while other people like to spend everything they got on themselves. So what you have to find out is what works for you individually.. I personally find having a family and helping others much more appealing at this point of my life than "living free". I just grew out of it I guess.. but to each his own.

Hi Ricklee, haven't seen you around here for a while. Well, aren't you afraid that if you have a normal family life, that one day you might think, as mentioned above:

"What happened to those dreams I had of being rich, of travel and adventure? I'm just living this monotonous routine of overwork with a boring wife I stopped having sex with long ago. What a bummer. I feel so tied down, not free. It wasn't worth working so hard all these years just to buy so much useless junk and luxury items. All that stuff wasn't worth the stress I put up with and the precious years I lost that I'll never get back. I also miss the thrill of romance, seduction, conquest, love at first sight, etc. But I'm married for life, which bars me from all that, and not young and good looking anymore. I miss being in love. The pain and glory made me feel alive. But now my life is just a rut. It really sucks."

I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.

In the latter, your freedom is totally gone and you are tied down into commitment and responsibility. Why would anyone choose such a predicament, let alone be fulfilled by it? Such a lifestyle embodies nothing but routine and imprisonment. The former is obviously a thousand times more fun, exciting, interesting and pleasurable than the latter. So why would anyone choose the latter? I don't understand. It's mind boggling.

Could it be because Mother Nature has programmed people to want to raise a family, to ensure the survival of the human race? Is that the only reason? Or because society told people that raising a family was the purpose of life, and so people followed it?

Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

[ricklee]

"What happened to those dreams I had of being rich, of travel and adventure? I'm just living this monotonous routine of overwork with a boring wife I stopped having sex with long ago. What a bummer. I feel so tied down, not free. It wasn't worth working so hard all these years just to buy so much useless junk and luxury items. All that stuff wasn't worth the stress I put up with and the precious years I lost that I'll never get back. I also miss the thrill of romance, seduction, conquest, love at first sight, etc. But I'm married for life, which bars me from all that, and not young and good looking anymore. I miss being in love. The pain and glory made me feel alive. But now my life is just a rut. It really sucks."

I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.

In the latter, your freedom is totally gone and you are tied down into commitment and responsibility. Why would anyone choose such a predicament, let alone be fulfilled by it? Such a lifestyle embodies nothing but routine and imprisonment. The former is obviously a thousand times more fun, exciting, interesting and pleasurable than the latter. So why would anyone choose the latter? I don't understand. It's mind boggling.

Could it be because Mother Nature has programmed people to want to raise a family, to ensure the survival of the human race? Is that the only reason? Or because society told people that raising a family was the purpose of life, and so people followed it?

Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

Well I don't know for others so I can only speak for myself. I basically have done it all, I made good money (I've been fortunate enough to work for myself), I traveled the world, backpacked, lived in hostels, had sex with well over 1k women and I had a lot of fun. But now days I enjoy other things, I enjoy spending time with my kid immensely, my family and friends and I think my life now is more meaningful and fulfilling. I've accomplished many of my goals and perhaps that is why I feel content. And while I do miss my old ways sometimes, I feel I just grew out of it.. in a way sex and adventure are like sugar highs, they feel good but after a while it's not the same. Also, the concept of having sex with as many women as possible is really just an male adolescent fantasy imo. I think you have to really ask yourself what truly adds meaning to your life and go from there.. at the end of the day it's about living the life that you WANTED, whether that is adventure and sex or just watching your son grow up.

[momopi]

I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.
<snip>
Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

1. What another man chooses for his life goals is his business, not yours or mine.

2. Decide for yourself if you want to be a cloud, a tree, or grass. Cloud is not grass, and grass is not cloud. Cloud is not required to "understand" grass, and vice versa.

[NorthAmericanguy]

I showed this thread to one of my favorite philosophers, Darryl Sloan. Here is his reply:

"This is what you call "the grass is always greener on the other side."
"

Exactly. I was going to say the same thing, and what well-informed said, the two situations that you outlined in your first post are common scenarios that could happen to anyone.

That said, I believe that one should pick a certain way to live and stick with it through the good and the bad; that way when the bad times do come you have the fortitude to persevere because you have chosen that path in advance well aware of some of the common downsides to living that particular lifestyle.

For example, in the underworld of gangbanging new recruits are told from the beginning that once they join a gang the only way out is death or life in jail. They know this from the BEGINNING so by the time they do get locked up for life or loose many friends along the way they don't take it as bad as people on the outside would because they knew what they were getting into when they got involved in that lifestyle.



As far as a mid life crisis in particular, I believe older married men are more susceptible to a crisis then any other type of person because often times these men are tricked into marriage, or the whole family life without having a choice, then one day they wake up at 42 sick and tired of being Mr. Responsible for a bunch of ungrateful people along with realizing their youth was wasted on a boring sequence of thankless work related events.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Hi all,
I woke up this morning feeling depressed, after a depressing dream. When I woke up, I was confused about where I was, because I thought my dream was the real world. It took me a while to remember who I was again.

Then I felt the depression of a mid-life crisis. Have any of you ever had one? If so, what was it like? And how did you get through it?

Do you ever feel like your life is passing you by? That you never got to do what your young heart dreamed of? Sad isn't it?

I'm guessing that the typical man in mid-life who has a career and family will think:

"What happened to those dreams I had of being rich, of travel and adventure? I'm just living this monotonous routine of overwork with a boring wife I stopped having sex with long ago. What a bummer. I feel so tied down, not free. It wasn't worth working so hard all these years just to buy so much useless junk and luxury items. All that stuff wasn't worth the stress I put up with and the precious years I lost that I'll never get back. I also miss the thrill of romance, seduction, conquest, love at first sight, etc. But I'm married for life, which bars me from all that, and not young and good looking anymore. I miss being in love. The pain and glory made me feel alive. But now my life is just a rut. It really sucks."

On the flip side, the guy who never had a normal life, but lived as a hippie, starving artist, vagabond, or just unconventionally with only a few thousand dollars in assets at a time, would be thinking:

"What happened to my life? Here I am in mid life, and I have no career, family or assets to boast, like normal people do. I have my own accomplishments, but none that the mainstream media would be impressed with. Is there something wrong with me? Am I a wasted loser, like society would label me? Has my life been a waste? I've gone against everything I've been taught. Was it really worth it? Have I missed out on normal life? Will I die alone and forgotten?"

What do you all think? Any of you fit in either of those categories? Anything you want to share? I know this is one of those touchy subjects that most guys are too macho to talk about. But we all have such thoughts, right?

There is no one answer to this question.. some people were meant to live life without commitments, some do. Some people get fulfilled with having a family, giving, helping others.. while other people like to spend everything they got on themselves. So what you have to find out is what works for you individually.. I personally find having a family and helping others much more appealing at this point of my life than "living free". I just grew out of it I guess.. but to each his own.

Exactly. I have come to the conclusion that some people function BEST when they live a completely self serving lifestyle.

The problem is, in America, everyone is conditioned to live for somebody/something else and people don't find out until its too late that it was the wrong choice for them.