Is spanking children effective and necessary?

Post by **Winston** » March 20th, 2011, 9:33 am

I have a question. Is spanking a necessary and effective way of raising children? My American ex, Robin LaFleur, who was very politically correct and leftist, always said that spanking only taught children violence and therefore was never appropriate. (but then again, she also thought that animal lives were more precious than human lives and that humans were not smarter than animals because smart was relative, whatever, she was a weirdo)

But that's naive and idealistic, cause some children are totally out of control and annoying as hell (like mine) and sometimes you have no choice but to spank them, sometimes out of anger or to get them to shut up when they won't. Anyone who's been in that situation knows what I mean. You either spank them or your lose your mind.

What do you think? What do credible studies show about spanking? If people did it in the old days, there must have been a good reason for it right? Are liberals right or wrong on this issue?

Enishi · Post by **Enishi** » March 20th, 2011, 9:45 am

Some Native Americans tribes didn't spank their children as a form of discipline and they grew up fine.

That is an entirely different culture however. The children are raised very differently from the get go. If an American parent just stops spanking their kid and doesn't have another method of disciplining them (and the kid already has psychological imbalances due to growing up in a stressful society, thus leading to rebellious urges) it will cause problems.

momopi · Post by **momopi** » March 20th, 2011, 9:53 am

Ask your questions here:
http://jofrost.com/phpbbforum

You can also watch her original (UK) TV show "Super Nanny", might be avail for DL on BT.

well-informed · Post by **well-informed** » March 20th, 2011, 10:14 am

Spank him there's nothing wrong with that. I was raised like that and i think it's a good way to discipline him. He might hate you at first but eventually he'll respect you. If you punish him for his bad things he'll do it less likely, because you would spank him. Gotta let him know from right and wrong

Post by **Winston** » March 20th, 2011, 11:00 am

See this post of mine about my son's personality being like a monster from hell, and you'll understand why I'm asking this question.

viewtopic.php?t=9898

gsjackson · Post by **gsjackson** » March 20th, 2011, 11:46 am

Sounds like he's acting out in order to get you more engaged. And I'd be a bit concerned if I were you that he'll turn into a poofter. This was the classic Freudian scenario for the development of homosexuality -- a disengaged father and weak-willed mother who's forced to be the main authority figure. Freudian views on the subject have been dismissed by modern PC culture, but that, of course, is no reflection at all on whether the view is correct.

Yeah, I think you need to start blistering his behind and break his malevolent little will. I'm old, and most of us this age were raised that way, turning out none the worse for it. Engage the kid honestly, and right now that means breaking him. Act quickly before it's too late.

Post by **Winston** » March 20th, 2011, 9:08 pm

Well I think homosexuality is genetic, not learned. But speaking of that, ever since he's seen me and Dianne make love and also seen me masturbate, my son has gotten horny and fascinated by "humping" too. He now humps people, including me, and seems to get a kick out of it for some reason. Very odd. Dianne even says that he's seen Angelo get a hard on. It's unusual for a 3 year old toddler to get horny isn't it?

gsjackson · Post by **gsjackson** » March 20th, 2011, 9:16 pm

Winston wrote:Well I think homosexuality is genetic, not learned. But speaking of that, ever since he's seen me and Dianne make love and also seen me masturbate, my son has gotten horny and fascinated by "humping" too. He now humps people, including me, and seems to get a kick out of it for some reason. Very odd. Dianne even says that he's seen Angelo get a hard on. It's unusual for a 3 year old toddler to get horny isn't it?

Turn your habitual skepticism on the idea that homosexuality is genetic. The "science" supporting it accompanied the agenda of normalization. Sounds suspiciously like the "science" generated by Big Pharma.

I kind of like Mr. Peabody's suggestion -- see if some monks will take the kid. He needs some radical pacification.

Post by **fschmidt** » March 20th, 2011, 9:18 pm

My guess is that spanking children is effective if done in a controlled manner, but not "out of anger or to get them to shut up". If you can't control yourself, how you can expect your kid to control himself? You have to set an example of self-control.

I don't think spanking is necessary as long as it is replaced with some form of discipline. That is what I did.

odbo · Post by **odbo** » March 20th, 2011, 9:35 pm

Winston wrote:Well I think homosexuality is genetic, not learned. But speaking of that, ever since he's seen me and Dianne make love and also seen me masturbate, my son has gotten horny and fascinated by "humping" too. He now humps people, including me, and seems to get a kick out of it for some reason. Very odd. Dianne even says that he's seen Angelo get a hard on. It's unusual for a 3 year old toddler to get horny isn't it?

dead beat dad winston

Winston wrote:Well I think homosexuality is genetic, not learned.

genuine homosexuals, are either the result of genetics (i suppose it's possible

), or more likely, a developmental disorder. they should consist of 1, maybe 5% of the population

the vast majority of homosexuals learned that behaviour. humans can be manipulated to do anything.
about 50% of young american women now believe they are bi-sexual, if not lesbian all together. if you say you're bisexual you might as well scream I'M BRAINWASHED. the gay agenda is very real. it's a bigger danger to us than any other goal of the 'new world order'.

Adama · Post by **Adama** » March 20th, 2011, 9:44 pm

No. It is not right. Not because it teaches violence. Because it breeds resentment towards the parent.

On a more personal level, I do think that spankings are more about satisfying the anger of the parent than about reforming the behavior of the child, but it is only my opinion.

Post by **Winston** » March 20th, 2011, 11:07 pm

Children are not like robots who repeat everything though. I was not spanked, yet I believe in spanking. Some children don't give a flying shit what you say. What else can you do about them? Force is sometimes necessary.

Post by **Winston** » March 21st, 2011, 1:38 am

An expat I know gave me this advice about spanking, which makes a lot of sense:

Hi Winston,

Holy crap... I don't know what to say, because I have not experienced this problem or anything close to it.

I know that Filipino mothers are usually overly-lenient, and spoil the child. They ignore bad behavior... and yet, most of them seem to grow up into very peaceful adults, don't they?

When you physically spank/smack a kid, you of course need to be very careful not to damage them physically. The aim is to cause PAIN that they will remember. What I found extremely effective was a thin bamboo cane to the butt or back of the legs. Stings like f*ck, but no lasting damage.

Before turning to physical punishment, we always followed this procedure:

(1) A warning
(2) A final warning, telling of the consequences
(3) A non-physical punishment, such as "sit on the stairs for 10 minutes" or "stand in the corner", again with a warning of what comes next if they don't
(4) Finally, if they misbehave during the non-physical punishment, the physical punishment. Never to the head of course, or anything that might affect internal organs... the butt and below is best, and a good stinging butt or rear upper legs is something they won't forget too soon.

It is important NOT to use your hands for inflicting punishment, because that makes it personal. Always use an object, to disassociate you, personally, with the punishment.

Some say that you should "talk to" your kid... but how do you reason with a 3yo? No, you need to wait until 5 or 6 for that.

It is unfair if YOU are always the "bad guy"... Dianne should also punish him where it is deserved.

You could try a stick and carrot approach: Offer rewards for certain things, not just punishment.

But Winston, if you "hate" your son, he probably senses that and picks up on it easily. Are you ever "nice" to him? Smiling, cuddling, comforting, playing with, doing what HE wants? You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar, right?

What about playing with other kids? Maybe the poor little bastard is just bored in a small apartment? Maybe he doesn't have many toys?

My kids both LOVED the educational computer games you can get now. You can get the "Reader Rabbit" games on bittorrent, and others too. It keeps kids occupied for hours, and they learn a lot.

Which leads to another thing: Kids like to do "adult" things. If they always see you doing stuff that they can't do, it's hard on them. Let him feel like he's a "big boy" with privileges sometimes.

Those are my thoughts... I wish you luck with that one...

swincor · Post by **swincor** » March 21st, 2011, 12:57 pm

Winston wrote:An expat I know gave me this advice about spanking, which makes a lot of sense:

Winston, your passiveness and total lack of initiative are truly amazing.

Someone gave you advice about spanking that makes sense? Great!

Now listen carefully, Winston: why don't you now APPLY the advice to your own situation?

And then find out if it WORKED or not?

pete98146 · Post by **pete98146** » March 21st, 2011, 1:40 pm

I think you'll find half are for spanking and the other half are not. I personally think that children behave better if they know there is a fear of a spanking if they act out of line or disrespect their parents. ***However, if you ever DO spank your child it's imperative to come back half an hour after the punishment and have a one on one with the child to discuss why they were spanked and how in the future they can avoid a spanking. The kids learn boundries and they view the spanking as a life lesson. In the end it allows parent and child to bond.