Older Asian Ladies who are still virgins?

[asgard636]

I'm age 60,well-educated, professional, sincerely looking for a lifetime partner.....
I have been divorced for many years and have an adult child.....
I am NOT an old guy looking for a 20 year old...
Is it at all possible to find an Asian lady, say late 30's to late 40's, who has kept her virginity for her husband, yet is NOT seeking to have children?

Thanks in advance for any input, fellas!


Chris in Florida

[Jester]

I'm age 60,well-educated, professional, sincerely looking for a lifetime partner.....
I have been divorced for many years and have an adult child.....
I am NOT an old guy looking for a 20 year old...
Is it at all possible to find an Asian lady, say late 30's to late 40's, who has kept her virginity for her husband, yet is NOT seeking to have children?

Thanks in advance for any input, fellas!


Chris in Florida

I have heard of this in the Philippines. Some people take their faith seriously.

In the mid-1980's in California no less, I met a White virgin woman, mid 30's, beautiful blonde, she married a mid 40's divorced Texan guy. They met through work in right-wing politics.

Here in Mexico I met a Persian Muslim around 65 years old, an old-looking 65, who was engaged to a Persian woman in her 40's, a virgin. He met her through family and friends back in Iran.

I was offered a 40-year-old virgin woman in Glendale California back around 2003. I was in my 40's. It was a matchmaking setup by a friend's wife.

So while I dont have direct experience in Asia, I do know that these older virgins are out there. You just have to look. If you put the word out to women, probably you can find one. You need to understand that these women have no way to advertise the fact that they are virgins. So you do need to put the word out. They are waiting for you to do that.

PS The polite way to say (among Armenians at least) is "never been married". In the Philippines they have a joking term "NBKSB" (Never Been Kissed Since Birth")

[MrMan]

You need to understand that these women have no way to advertise the fact that they are virgins

Here's an idea: sell "I'm a virgin" Tshirts

[MrMan]

Virginity before marriage seems to be the norm in Indonesia. About 10 years ago, my wife invited a number of people from an English-speaking church service we went to over to my house for a get-together. One of the women, an Indonesian, hung around after the crowd had left. Like single women would do from time to time, she asked my wife how she managed to marry me. Some women there like Caucasians, and she wanted to know how to find one for a husband.

I thought she was a reasonably attractive woman, probably in her early 30's. But she said she was 40. I suggested she try online dating. Around 2002 or 2003 it wasn't as big of a thing as it is now, especially Indonesia. I told her about the places she could go to and pay by the hour to use the Internet.

A year or so later, she came to another get-together and told us she was engaged. She'd gone online on some site, started chatting with a man and had 'dated' him through Skype for a year. He'd proposed. Within a year or so, three Indonesian women from that church got married to white men they met online. Either two or all three were from Virginia for some reason.

I didn't ask the woman if she was a virgin, but it wouldn't be that unlikely. From what she'd said, it didn't sound like she'd had a serious boyfriend. She'd spent her time working. Some women also fall through the dating cracks. Usually people from her people-group (my wife's) would try to match them up with cousins if they get up in their 30's. There are certain cousins they can marry by custom and certain they can't. My wife has some kin who married cousins, too. She wasn't into that at all with her cousins. But they did give me a family name and adopt me in as her cousins, so I guess she married her cousin, culturally, in that sense, though genetically we are pretty far apart.

Nationality doesn't guarantee that a wife will be a good wife. There are a lot of individual factors related to values, faith, personality, etc. But Indonesians do seem to make good wives, just compared to the average wife in America, IMO. I think I read their divorce rate was around 10%, but my guess is that it's lower for Christians. One of the large Muslim people-groups has a really high divorce rate. I can think of two Indonesian Christians I knew in Indonesia who had been divorced in the many years I lived there, out of hundreds of people. Make that three. I just thought of one. Out of fifty married couples or so in over five years in a city in the US, I know of one couple that broke up. I don't know if they are divorced. One couple had gotten divorced before we got here. But it's better stats than the general population in the US or locally, it seems.

It would be hard to find an Indonesian virgin who did not want to have a baby. Even if you married a 40-year-old, she would probably want to try. 22 year olds want to have a kid their first year. People must have thought my wife and I were infertile for not having one the first year. We decided to enjoy each other for a year first. A coworker who got married right after me got a baby in the oven really fast. But at 40, her chances of conceiving are a lot lower than a woman just a few years younger. You could work with her to try hard to have one and have a good time. But she could get pregnant. But if not, you could just keep telling her you wanted to try until she tuned 90, and have a fun time working at it.

If you married an Indonesian widow who had grown children, you might be able to find one that didn't want children. Widows have some advantages of virgins. If they have been faithful for life and haven't slept around before or after marriage, they may have all the sexual virtue of a virgin in terms of ethics. They may be sexually experienced without being sluts. If you marry an Asian woman, she may compare your anatomy with her local x's Asian anatomy. You could also ask her and other people to see if she tried to wear the pants with the last husband and how she treated him. Anatomically, I can think of some advantages of marrying a virgin, or at least a woman who hadn't had children. But you are more likely to hear 'ouch'.

I talked to an old guy who'd spent much of his career in Thailand who'd moved to Korea. He'd had women and live-in girlfriends, but with AIDs, he decided he'd better marry. He said someone offered to set him up with a 40-year-old virgin, but he thought that if a woman was a virgin at 40, something was wrong with her. I didn't share his opinion. But later I heard that in Korean, they called single women who'd never marry 'virgins'. But if a man asks a woman 'Are you a virgin?' he means it literally, and that's such a personal question it could be offensive. So the people setting him up were probably just bad at translating and didn't know her past sex life.

I met a man in his 50's who asked a Korean pastor to match him up with a Korean woman. He was introduced to a 40-something woman who had never married. Koreans like to match people up. Koreans seem to be a bit more conservative than westerners, and my guess is that there are 40-something virgins. But they may not be the best looking for looks all the time, if they weren't married off earlier. Matchmaking has long been a part of Korean culture, and while probably most couples meet without matchmaking for marriage, even the way they date when they are younger is often to be matched up by a friend who takes them to a 'meeting' with him and two others. If they like each other, they start seeing each other. Students are segregated by gender from age 7 up to the end of high school. Fresh college students start dating and upper classmen can set them up on several 'meetings' a week until they find someone they are interested in. So asking to get matched up isn't too strange to them. When Koreans get older, say the girl is 27 and a man is over 30, his aunt, mother grandma, etc. carries his or her picture around. Aunts strike up conversations with grandma's at bus stops and show photos of unwed relatives and arrange meetings. Or they can hire matchmakers. Meetings at this stage could quickly progress to marriage. They meet once and the parents ask, "Do you like him/her?" If the answer is 'yes', a few meetings later, the ball can be rolling quickly toward marriage. A parent might match an adult child with the child of his or her boss as well.

But if you marry a 40-year-old Korean virgin, you will be getting one that did not marry someone when she was younger, for whatever reason. When I was in Korea, one of the students at my institute was a widow, probably in her early 30's. She'd found out her husband had an affair when he died in a car accident coming back from his girlfriend's place. I think that was the story. I heard that in Korea, married women ostracize widows, fearing them lest they become mistresses to their husbands. In the old days, maybe that was how they survived and it became a part of the culture. I didn't get the impression that it was easy for Korean widows to marry. So that may be another option.

Culturally, I get the impression that some Korean homes are female dominated. TV shows show both homes where the man leads and homes where the woman leads. They speak in code. "Let me think about that" means 'no.' Saying maybe a lot and delaying you or putting you off seems to mean 'no', too. They don't like to say 'no.' (Btw, I'm not talking about sex. I don't know about that.) One American friend of mine in Korea had married a 20- something girl who'd have sex with him every night. He said she told him if he ever wanted to have sex with her while he was sleeping to just wake her up in the middle of the night. that made me consider trying to find a Korean girl, but I figure that was an individual thing. I read posts from a guy whose Korean wife would hardly sleep with him and was a nightmare to live with. So it depends on the girl and individual differences are important.

Culturally, based on my experience in Indonesia and Korea, I'd say Indonesia is better. The general culture is for wives to submit to their husbands. At least they believe they are supposed to whether the individual wife does or not. It's not like the culture is oppressive to women, either. Indonesians tend to be extremely friendly and jovial. But Koreans tend to be kind of uptight. Still, some Korean girls do seem to be kind of sweet, usually in a reserved way.

[xiongmao]

Yup, there are lots of virgins in China, some in Thailand as well. The problem is that many have been left on the shelf for a reason.

[asgard636]

Thanks so much for the (ESPECIALLY the in depth) replies!!!!

[Ghost]

.

[romparoo]

Assume you are after a 40 yo woman. Tell me please, what sort of person, man or woman, remains a virgin for that long? There got to be either a handicap, or mental illness for someone to get into willing sexual depression for this long.

[Cornfed]

Assume you are after a 40 yo woman. Tell me please, what sort of person, man or woman, remains a virgin for that long? There got to be either a handicap, or mental illness for someone to get into willing sexual depression for this long.

Or they may have been raised with the idea that sex happened under certain circumstances and, for whatever reason, they were never exposed to those circumstances.

[MrMan]

Assume you are after a 40 yo woman. Tell me please, what sort of person, man or woman, remains a virgin for that long? There got to be either a handicap, or mental illness for someone to get into willing sexual depression for this long.

Some of them are serious about their religion or just commonly-accepted morality. If they can abstain while they are single, they might be low risk for adultery after marriage, too. Some of them just may have no interest.

Even in the US, a lot of women want the men to ask them out. In some parts of the world, that feeling is even stronger. If the woman is shy or the family has her washing everyone else's clothes, working in the house, and never getting out much, a woman could 'fall through the cracks' of the courting and dating rituals and end up an old maid. Even in the US, I had a friend who hung out with my brother. They sort of were dating, but I don't know if they even kissed. She was cute, but short, and they were good friends. She was a really sweet girl, and my grandmother told my brother he should marry her. My parents would have been happy if that had happened. I would, too. I think she would have made anyone a great wife just in terms of her personality and values. She must be in her early 40's, and based on her Facebook, she appears to be single, though recently I've seen she is in a relationship with a man. She dated at least one guy who ended up marrying someone else. Some people date someone a long time and it doesn't work out, and spend up their dating years that way. Anyway, I do hope she gets married if that's what she wants. I know other women who seem less deserving who've gotten married younger.