Something Every Married Man Should Know

[newlifeinphilippines]

Newlifeinphilippines,

As a man in my 20's (at the time) I had to pay attention to keep my mind from thinking on lustful thoughts. Jesus taught against looking at a woman to lust after her. I'd prayed about that and I think the Lord had done a work in me on that. When I met my wife, maybe it was having that relationship with her, but struggling with lustful thoughts wasn't as big of a struggle, even though our relationship wasn't sex-focused.

There wasn't anything about her that made me think she'd be sexually passionate, although as we got to know each other, I could tell there was some interest and curiosity about sex from a few discussions. We were both virgins and didn't talk about much, though I did say I wanted a once a day frequency. I don't think she remembers that now.

We both sensed that we'd be married after we met. She went home and wrote about it in her prayer journal. I went home and prayed asking if I'd met my wife. We each were seeking to discern God's will about whether this was the one.

Btw, I think with marrying a virgin, if a man marries a woman who is attracted to him, who submits to him and follows him, that's probably a pretty good groundwork for having a good sex life later on, and for having a wife who won't try to have a sex life with someone else.

studies show that virgins have just as much adultery as non virgins after marriage. Id say character and personal chemistry is more important than whether or not she is a virgin. although it would be nice to get a virgin also. She can be the sweetest virgin ever but if she isn't genuinely into you or doesn't have enough character to continue through the marriage she probably will cheat on you (or at least come close).


Do you really believe marrying a gold digging virgin who will leave when she gets a better deal is better than a slut who genuinely loves you and has no ulterior motives? Im not so proud that i can't accept someones previous mistakes.

[fschmidt]

studies show that virgins have just as much adultery as non virgins after marriage.

link?

[newlifeinphilippines]

studies show that virgins have just as much adultery as non virgins after marriage.

link?

not off the top of my head but I read divorce rate was the same I think. Im assuming infidelity would probably be together with that correlation.

[fschmidt]

not off the top of my head but I read divorce rate was the same I think. Im assuming infidelity would probably be together with that correlation.

Really?

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/201 ... -risk.html
http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/201 ... -post.html

[newlifeinphilippines]

If thats true then thats good to know. I thought i saw where virgins were just as likely to cheat after marriage as non virgins. do you have a study on virgins and actual infidelity?

[MrMan]

I couldn't find anything interesting-looking in academic articles from a search of Google scholar. A regular Google search brought up this thread which links to a book that asserts that surveys show that those who are virgins at marriage are much less likely to cheat, but I don't see footnotes for the assertion like you'd see in an academic article.

http://books.google.com/books?id=obSXAg ... ry&f=false

[MrMan]

I'm looking at a 1973 article, but I have some good library access to academic articles through JSTOR. The article is extramarital Involvement: fact and theory, The Journal of Sex research. It looks like a literature review. I'm not going to read the whole thing. it says that Kinsey and his associates found that among women, women who engaged in premarital coitus were about twice as likely to engage in extramarital affairs.

That being said, Kinsey's research methods were garbage. He'd go into bars and interview people instead of doing random sampling. Statistical methods had begun to be developed, and he wasn't following the good methods. He'd talk to sexual deviants and report his findings as if they were relevant. That's where the 10% homosexual figure comes from. Maybe 10% of the more sexually liberal or libertine folks he talked to were homosexual. It's likely children were molested to collect his data, too. There was a lot of bad research, methodologically and probably ethically as well.

Be that as it may, you can look up the article I mentioned on Google scholar and look up articles that cite it if you are really interested for a correlation. It does make sense that virgins at marry are less likely to stray. Having sex is a much bigger deal and more closely tied to marriage. Marriage may mean more to them. If a woman's been sleeping with hundreds of men, and one of them puts a ring on her finger, is it that big a deal to sleep with the 102th man if he doesn't give her a ring?

[hybrid]

Respectfully if my wife tells me it's over I won't be jumping on the next woman in the next 10mins. That's just plain common sense and has nothing to do with understanding women. This says more about his feeling than hers, clearly he felt it was over and that is why he overreacted. He should've been a little more patient if things we reconcilable.

[tom]

I have heard these kinds of stories from guys living in the Philippines and Thailand. They try to marry a bar girl. Its a common story. But 99% of the time it never works out. Hence the saying you can take the girl out of the bar but you cant take the bar out of the girl shes marred to the bar or you cant make a whore into a house wife. You get a similar thing with western girls with high notch counts who cock carousel there way through college. They simply become incapable of forming any kind of stable relationship with a man.
Of coarse strippers have a long list of problems which are even worse than bar girls.

Signing a one sided contract like marriage with a near certain chance of it being broken is obviously a very bad idea.