Why you should never bring your foreign spouse back home to the USA

ling · Post by **ling** » August 13th, 2011, 9:08 pm

The book Happier Abroad goes into great detail about the pitfalls of American woman. It doesn't matter which ethnicity they are derived from, the society socially benefits woman.

Who says if you invite you marry a woman abroad who is a great lady, she in a matter of months won't wise up to the opportunity that awaits: There are other men who desperately appreciate her because she's a lady (which no doubt looks far better than the average American). She realizes she can be a bitch and nothing happens. Green cards, separation. She realizes she not only has alternatives, but the power as a single woman in USA, f**k. That's tantalizing.

Any one here with foreign wives in the US have any experience/trust issues after bringing them along to USA? After a few years?

Does anyone else here think bringing the woman back to USA spoils the concept of foreign love partially? Doesn't it shift the power back to the woman if she realizes the disproportion of needy men to woman?

If it's true love, is living abroad the best choice?

jcris7 · Post by **jcris7** » August 30th, 2011, 8:50 pm

I honestly believe that it would be foolish to do so. There is a reason afterall, why men are leaving the US in droves to seek foreign partners. They are trying to get away from the problem, so why bring her into the problem? The culture here corrupts females into seemingly unrecognizable lifeforms that men can't relate to. She will fall victim to that once she is exposed to, and gets a taste of the Western woman's ways. Kiss your marriage goodbye. It won't happen overnight, but it will if she spends enough time here. Too much of a gamble. Stay out of the US, except when you have to tend to family affairs.

Think Different · Post by **Think Different** » August 31st, 2011, 12:05 am

It's all about what options a woman thinks she has. If her options are limited, she will stay under control. If she feels like she's a kid in a candy store and everything for the taking, she will act accordingly. Download this book in PDF and read it. It'll explain everything:

http://depositfiles.com/en/files/r0ftgk58o

well-informed · Post by **well-informed** » August 31st, 2011, 12:31 am

That's why lovely filipinas wouldn't be lovely filipinas if they were born and raised in the US.

have2fly · Post by **have2fly** » September 1st, 2011, 3:22 am

Exactly what I've mentioned so many times here. Many women change, some don't. The girl I am dating now isn't changed, but about 75% DO change. Some come back to their roots when they "burn through" adjustment to American life - they go through dating douchebags, having kids sometimes, having lame jobs and no income... Those that get financially secure (happens very rarely!) get bitchy and self-confident, but then they see the same crap - American guys only want them for money and a free-ride. So they start to look for a decent honest guy. I try my best to explain these things to the girls every time, many understand, some are just worthless gold-diggers thinking that all they need is BMW and a yacht to be happy.

Kids of immigrants from FSU grow up as American as it gets. Some are very shameful to admit they are first generation immigrants. Many also shame their parents culture and want to look as "tough Americans"! It makes me wanna puke! But that's what the society in the U.S. does - it kicks out all of what you've believed in and turns you against your roots. SAD!
In a perfect world I would at least move abroad until my kids grow up. I don't worry much about my wife, but my kids! I don't want them to grow up poisonous and shameful instead of being proud of their roots and culture!

ambient · Post by **ambient** » September 2nd, 2011, 12:26 pm

Do.Not.Bring.Her.Here. Period.
I am married to an American and I'm from east Europe. If we could start it all over we would live somewhere else. We can't start over and we don't have options to leave (as of right now..). For her sake, do not take her out of the culture she belongs to. If you are looking abroad to begin with, it means you are unhappy with what you're living in, what you're seeing around you, and American women as a whole. If you bring her back here, her only real choice of friends will be American women, her female relatives will be American women, and she will be forced to adjust to the boxed life and boxed dreams, giving up her genuine and authentic self. She will be miserable. I am speaking from experience. If her natural and genuine self does not feel miserable in this fake society, it will have only one reason: she won't feel it because she adjusted and became similar to everyone else here. I don't know which is worse. To be like everyone else, drug herself into submission - or to walk with wide open eyes, drenched in depression and sadness all the time..and then try to raise kids -healthy,loving, happy and well adjusted kids at that - on the top of it.
This is where I am right now. I love my husband dearly and I know how much he misses the vibrant and "different" girl I used to be. I have no mental, emotional and spiritual strength to be like that anymore. I am fading and I hate it. Please keep your beautiful flower away from this cemetery of life

You both will be so much happier to do so. Otherwise sooner or later she will be just like a rest of them and your lifetime's best adventure will turn into the most expensive - without any good outcome or advantage. Good luck..

Contrarian Expatriate · September 2nd, 2011, 1:16 pm

ambient wrote:Do.Not.Bring.Her.Here. Period.
If you are looking abroad to begin with, it means you are unhappy with what you're living in, what you're seeing around you, and American women as a whole.

This is IT in a nutshell. Settling in her country is the route to go. You still have some issues to confront like old boyfriends, meddling relatives, monetary requests for family crises, etc. But I still think keeping her out of the US is the best route!

Post by **fschmidt** » September 2nd, 2011, 1:17 pm

Just to give another view, I have been married to my foreign wife for 20 years, most of which were in America. Keeping a woman sane in America requires some effort but is possible. It is best to live where there are many foreign women. I did this naturally since I can't tolerate Americans and have always lived in immigrant neighborhoods. I also recommend joining a conservative religion like Orthodox Judaism or Eastern Orthodox Christianity. I did this in spite of being an atheist.

I sympathize with ambient. My parents are from Hungary. If the woman really likes her culture, then it is best to settle in her country. My wife is from Mexico and has no real attachment to her culture.

have2fly · Post by **have2fly** » September 2nd, 2011, 6:32 pm

Do.Not.Bring.Her.Here. Period.
I am married to an American and I'm from east Europe. If we could start it all over we would live somewhere else. We can't start over and we don't have options to leave (as of right now..). For her sake, do not take her out of the culture she belongs to. If you are looking abroad to begin with, it means you are unhappy with what you're living in, what you're seeing around you, and American women as a whole. If you bring her back here, her only real choice of friends will be American women, her female relatives will be American women, and she will be forced to adjust to the boxed life and boxed dreams, giving up her genuine and authentic self. She will be miserable. I am speaking from experience. If her natural and genuine self does not feel miserable in this fake society, it will have only one reason: she won't feel it because she adjusted and became similar to everyone else here. I don't know which is worse. To be like everyone else, drug herself into submission - or to walk with wide open eyes, drenched in depression and sadness all the time..and then try to raise kids -healthy,loving, happy and well adjusted kids at that - on the top of it.
This is where I am right now. I love my husband dearly and I know how much he misses the vibrant and "different" girl I used to be. I have no mental, emotional and spiritual strength to be like that anymore. I am fading and I hate it. Please keep your beautiful flower away from this cemetery of life You both will be so much happier to do so. Otherwise sooner or later she will be just like a rest of them and your lifetime's best adventure will turn into the most expensive - without any good outcome or advantage. Good luck..

WINSTON! Put this quote somewhere visible for everyone! This is perfect. It is exactly what I was trying to say so many times. When you see a beautiful woman - she is a flower in heavenly garden! But you cut this amazing flower by bringing her to the wasteland of burgers, trashy culture and constant battle. What happens to a flower? It will fade away! Or it will grow new roots into wasteland and feed of waste. What happens then? Flower becomes part of the waste!

By marrying a wife somewhere you automatically have a chance to settle. Many women have their own houses, some have cars and decent income. Just teaching English to start off will be enough to live off for you if she is employed and you share expenses. Just think of the benefits, many families also continue support - her mother will help you with kids, your wife will be able to cook given there are so much better foods available and you will have so many options for your weekends, not to mention holiday celebration abroad is so much greater and more fun (at least in Europe it is).

Hook · Post by **Hook** » September 2nd, 2011, 7:21 pm

ambient wrote:Do.Not.Bring.Her.Here. Period.
I am married to an American and I'm from east Europe. If we could start it all over we would live somewhere else. We can't start over and we don't have options to leave (as of right now..). For her sake, do not take her out of the culture she belongs to. If you are looking abroad to begin with, it means you are unhappy with what you're living in, what you're seeing around you, and American women as a whole. If you bring her back here, her only real choice of friends will be American women, her female relatives will be American women, and she will be forced to adjust to the boxed life and boxed dreams, giving up her genuine and authentic self. She will be miserable. I am speaking from experience. If her natural and genuine self does not feel miserable in this fake society, it will have only one reason: she won't feel it because she adjusted and became similar to everyone else here. I don't know which is worse. To be like everyone else, drug herself into submission - or to walk with wide open eyes, drenched in depression and sadness all the time..and then try to raise kids -healthy,loving, happy and well adjusted kids at that - on the top of it.
This is where I am right now. I love my husband dearly and I know how much he misses the vibrant and "different" girl I used to be. I have no mental, emotional and spiritual strength to be like that anymore. I am fading and I hate it. Please keep your beautiful flower away from this cemetery of life You both will be so much happier to do so. Otherwise sooner or later she will be just like a rest of them and your lifetime's best adventure will turn into the most expensive - without any good outcome or advantage. Good luck..

How long have you been here? Your english is perfect. Especially the usage of articles, which Russian speakers almost never get right, even after decades of living here.

Hook · Post by **Hook** » September 2nd, 2011, 7:23 pm

Think Different wrote:It's all about what options a woman thinks she has. If her options are limited, she will stay under control. If she feels like she's a kid in a candy store and everything for the taking, she will act accordingly. Download this book in PDF and read it. It'll explain everything:

http://depositfiles.com/en/files/r0ftgk58o

Site says that the file has been removed, do you have it somewhere else?

E_Irizarry · Post by **E_Irizarry** » September 2nd, 2011, 7:43 pm

fschmidt wrote:Just to give another view, I have been married to my foreign wife for 20 years, most of which were in America. Keeping a woman sane in America requires some effort but is possible. It is best to live where there are many foreign women. I did this naturally since I can't tolerate Americans and have always lived in immigrant neighborhoods. I also recommend joining a conservative religion like Orthodox Judaism or Eastern Orthodox Christianity. I did this in spite of being an atheist.

I sympathize with ambient. My parents are from Hungary. If the woman really likes her culture, then it is best to settle in her country. My wife is from Mexico and has no real attachment to her culture.

You sound like SkateboardStephen on HA here. He keeps his Brazilian wife in a Brazilian community in Philly in order to avoid getting her corrupted by Ameriskanks and by playa-playa types that try to hit on her, but since he kept her isolated and she cannot speak English that well, the playa-playa types cannot speak Brazilian Porto so he doesn't have an advantage to corrupting her with his bullshit.

ambient · Post by **ambient** » September 3rd, 2011, 12:58 am

How long have you been here? Your english is perfect. Especially the usage of articles, which Russian speakers almost never get right, even after decades of living here.

----

Almost 7 years now. Thank you - it is really not that perfect it just came out right because I felt every word of it

Usually I type very fast with the kiddos yelling around me and I have hard time to concentrate on what I am saying but that entry I did without too much disturbance and noise

ambient · Post by **ambient** » September 3rd, 2011, 10:12 am

Something else I wanted to say..Have2Fly said "Or it will grow new roots into wasteland and feed of waste. What happens then? Flower becomes part of the waste" - and this reminded me to something else equally important to spiritual/mental/emotional waste that was mentioned before..

I have been a pretty healthy person throughout my life. I would've never imagined that my health will deteriorate in a couple of years once I live here.

I had NO idea about genetically modified food's prevalent presence in the US food supply. Of course I knew what GMO was, there used to be huge protests against gmo corn in Budapest, for example...but I had no idea that it is actually IN the food here to the point that you actively have to try avoiding it by eating 100% organic...My husband also ate the american diet, and so did I. Of course I gained a lot of weight because I could not eat the american fruits and vegetables -my favourites -because everything tasted like plastic with different colors on the outside but the characteristic used chewing gum taste..uhhh. So I mainly ate fast food because it tasted good and it was also cheap.

7 years later, here are a few of my problems: fibromyalgia, an ovary that ruptured from huge cysts and almost killed me, irritable bowel syndrome, a sudden and severe gallbladder disease, and a rare (1 in a 10 000 000) ectopic pregnancy that made my doctors scratch their heads because noone could explain why it happened (the embryo was floating in the abdomen and attached nearby the liver..)

I am ok now more or less. It was a painful journey with doctors not believing me, questioning my language skills, questioning my sanity, and so on. We've learned the hard way to give up our eating habits and start to eat organic. My issues get better when I eat organic, really. And it all comes back if I don't (the fibromyalgia symptoms primarily)

I've talked to a german girl -also recent immigrant at that point- and she had almost 100% of the same issues (she had no kids so it all wasn't related to my pregnancies causing problems with my health). She said everytime she goes home to Germany she feels much better and all is good, then she comes back and she's so sick she can't even work anymore, she has to be on disability.

I've also learned since then that GMO fed kettle often have weird miscarriage/fertility problems, cysts and odd pregnancies that are abnormal in many ways. Sounds like my 1 in a 10 000 000 ectopic pregnancy?

I am telling all this because I felt I needed to share this story for all of your potentional girlfriends' and wives' sake. I don't know how much of my isses are related to anxiety/depression like my doctors say (try to not to be depressed in this situation..and try to not to be depressed when your body falls apart on you starting at age 29 after a really healthy life till that point) - I don't know how much of it is caused by unhealthy eating habits. I won't even try to push my theories too much because I can't prove any.

I am just saying.....something is very very very wrong..if it happened to me it can happen to anyone

So toxic waste indeed...not only mentally and culturally and spiritually...but physically too