Which Asian country has the best/loyal wives?

[markpost]

I married an American white woman and she completely changed when she went back to college. She started to think marriage was only for fools and she wanted to have as many partners as possible. She was always a little controlling and ultra-feminist. She ended up cheating on me so I divorced her.

I started dating and was appalled at how not only selfish women are here but also how they openly admit it and brag about it. They also seem to jump from partner to partner and date only a-holes. It's disgusting!

I'd like to date a nice girl who has traditional views on gender roles and is not overly materialistic. My last girlfriend was Chinese and she was definitely, better than a lot of girls in the states but she was still very immature acting and very materialistic.

What are the countries with the nicest women who are not materialistic and selfish?

Oh and I'm not rich but I am a hard worker. Do you need to be rich to get a foreign girl interested in you and to marry her? I'd like to bring her back to the States. And yes, I know it would be better to move to another country and marry there but that is not an option. I have friends and family that count on me here. I'm 35, decent looking and have a personality women really seem to like. However, I'm not sure if it is all about money like it is with shallow American Woman.

[droid]

I have friends and family that count on me here.

But, can you count on them to support you on following a dream?

[Rock]

I married an American white woman and she completely changed when she went back to college. She started to think marriage was only for fools and she wanted to have as many partners as possible. She was always a little controlling and ultra-feminist. She ended up cheating on me so I divorced her.

I started dating and was appalled at how not only selfish women are here but also how they openly admit it and brag about it. They also seem to jump from partner to partner and date only a-holes. It's disgusting!

I'd like to date a nice girl who has traditional views on gender roles and is not overly materialistic. My last girlfriend was Chinese and she was definitely, better than a lot of girls in the states but she was still very immature acting and very materialistic.

What are the countries with the nicest women who are not materialistic and selfish?

Oh and I'm not rich but I am a hard worker. Do you need to be rich to get a foreign girl interested in you and to marry her? I'd like to bring her back to the States. And yes, I know it would be better to move to another country and marry there but that is not an option. I have friends and family that count on me here. I'm 35, decent looking and have a personality women really seem to like. However, I'm not sure if it is all about money like it is with shallow American Woman.

Mark, it's a box of chocolates out there, you never know what you're gonna get. You can only take actions to lower the risks. Coming to Asia to do your search is one. Here are some more:

- Target ladies who are mid-late 20s (or perhaps a very mature early 20s). The human brain changes and develops through as late as 25. So you wanna go for a 'what you see is what you get' case.

- Avoid package deals (girls with kids). You want to be genetically tied to her new family.

- Good hunting grounds-
a. Philippines: provinces, select urban girls, girls sincerely involved with the church
b. Vietnam good girls (likely virgins) if you are willing to go through the cultural and language hurdles
c. China down-to-earth non-materialistic types from second to fourth tier backgrounds, also some cultural and language issues might be at play

- Avoid Thailand

- If you bring them back to States, you increase risk of a future problem in most cases. But it can be doable

- If you want more advice on Filippinas, correspond with our resident posters who married them - Davewe, Outwest, Pete

- If you want more advice on Chinese, correspond with Kai1275

- If you want more advice on Vietnam girls, contact Falcon

- You might spread your net to include serious Christian girls from S.Korea and girls from Taiwan. But those countries are very developed with low birthrates so it's not as easy. But I do think once you snag once, chances are good for going the distance.

[Taco]

What are the countries with the nicest women who are not materialistic and selfish?

Woman from Southern Philippines by a landslide. However, you do need to be very selective. The youngest, sexiest Filipinas will usually screw you around so its better to choose an average looking woman.

[Rock]

What are the countries with the nicest women who are not materialistic and selfish?

Woman from Southern Philippines by a landslide. However, you do need to be very selective. Most Filipinos lie like there is no tomorrow.

Sorry Taco, I forgot to mention you as one of our resident posters married to a Pinay.

[Jester]

Useful thread here, thanks to all.

[davewe]

I married an American white woman and she completely changed when she went back to college. She started to think marriage was only for fools and she wanted to have as many partners as possible. She was always a little controlling and ultra-feminist. She ended up cheating on me so I divorced her.

I started dating and was appalled at how not only selfish women are here but also how they openly admit it and brag about it. They also seem to jump from partner to partner and date only a-holes. It's disgusting!

I'd like to date a nice girl who has traditional views on gender roles and is not overly materialistic. My last girlfriend was Chinese and she was definitely, better than a lot of girls in the states but she was still very immature acting and very materialistic.

What are the countries with the nicest women who are not materialistic and selfish?

Oh and I'm not rich but I am a hard worker. Do you need to be rich to get a foreign girl interested in you and to marry her? I'd like to bring her back to the States. And yes, I know it would be better to move to another country and marry there but that is not an option. I have friends and family that count on me here. I'm 35, decent looking and have a personality women really seem to like. However, I'm not sure if it is all about money like it is with shallow American Woman.

Mark, it's a box of chocolates out there, you never know what you're gonna get. You can only take actions to lower the risks. Coming to Asia to do your search is one. Here are some more:

- Target ladies who are mid-late 20s (or perhaps a very mature early 20s). The human brain changes and develops through as late as 25. So you wanna go for a 'what you see is what you get' case.

- Avoid package deals (girls with kids). You want to be genetically tied to her new family.

- Good hunting grounds-
a. Philippines: provinces, select urban girls, girls sincerely involved with the church
b. Vietnam good girls (likely virgins) if you are willing to go through the cultural and language hurdles
c. China down-to-earth non-materialistic types from second to fourth tier backgrounds, also some cultural and language issues might be at play

- Avoid Thailand

- If you bring them back to States, you increase risk of a future problem in most cases. But it can be doable

- If you want more advice on Filippinas, correspond with our resident posters who married them - Davewe, Outwest, Pete

- If you want more advice on Chinese, correspond with Kai1275

- If you want more advice on Vietnam girls, contact Falcon

- You might spread your net to include serious Christian girls from S.Korea and girls from Taiwan. But those countries are very developed with low birthrates so it's not as easy. But I do think once you snag once, chances are good for going the distance.

It absolutely can be done but certainly takes work, motivation, an open but wary attitude, and a mature eye. I am newly married, so you might get more about marriage from Pete and Outwest. OTOH, the process of finding the right one is fresh in my mind, so I might be able to help also.

As to the question "Are they materialistic?" Sure they are - most people are - men and women. But it's different. My wife goes to the mall. She buys a shirt at H&M for $12 and feels good. She goes to another store and sees a shirt for $30 and says, "OMG that's so expensive!" I don't disagree

OTOH if she is poor, it will take her time to understand what is and isn't a good use of resources, how to budget (she never had much to budget) and what is expensive. For example, my cousin is very well fixed. He is building a house on the Jersey shore - actually he is rebuilding it - damaged beyond repair by Sandy. He post pics weekly. It's a borderline mansion - certainly a multi-million dollar house. Janet asks shyly, "Could we ever have a house like that?" I laugh. "Not in this lifetime. That house is at least a couple million." To her it's just a nice looking house. She can't quite conceive of what it takes to purchase such a place. OTOH, ask her how much a complete lechon (roasted pig) costs and she knows down to the peso

[markpost]

These are all very helpful replies. I'll make sure to be very careful on who I select. I do want someone who is cute but she doesn't have to be a supermodel. That being said I think someone who is attractive can have a good heart too. I do get plenty of attention from average girls here in the states and even some pretty attractive ones too sometimes. However, most have pretty bad personalities and are deeply damaged individuals. I think good women are harder to find these days, especially, in a consumer driven society that places little value on family or commitment. That being said, I'm sure women are having a harder time finding decent men as well.

Oh and I also had a question on South Korean women. I produce television commercials for a living so I love anything related to video or film. I am a fan of some of the films being produced in South Korea. This also has me interested in South Korean women too since I enjoy aspects of that culture already. They are also very attractive to me. However, South Korea is also very Westernized and I don't want a woman too similar to those found in the US. I want someone marriage minded and committed to family. Should I avoid South Korea altogether?

[polya]

OK, now you've wasted your youth on some pretty feminist girl, you hope to find a foreign girl to "love you" - But on the other hand watch the movie "her" and get a virtual wife now, then a robot wife soon!

[zboy1]

These are all very helpful replies. I'll make sure to be very careful on who I select. I do want someone who is cute but she doesn't have to be a supermodel. That being said I think someone who is attractive can have a good heart too. I do get plenty of attention from average girls here in the states and even some pretty attractive ones too sometimes. However, most have pretty bad personalities and are deeply damaged individuals. I think good women are harder to find these days, especially, in a consumer driven society that places little value on family or commitment. That being said, I'm sure women are having a harder time finding decent men as well.

Oh and I also had a question on South Korean women. I produce television commercials for a living so I love anything related to video or film. I am a fan of some of the films being produced in South Korea. This also has me interested in South Korean women too since I enjoy aspects of that culture already. They are also very attractive to me. However, South Korea is also very Westernized and I don't want a woman too similar to those found in the US. I want someone marriage minded and committed to family. Should I avoid South Korea altogether?

As a Korean American, I suggest you avoid South Korea altogether, and look for someplace in Southeast Asia instead.

[sea_dragon]

Anyone has any opinion on Japan? A relative of mine back in Shanghai wants to hook me up with Japanese women whom I hear often come to the city to look for local men since they're seen as ideal marriage material. I'm not sure about the age range, but I definitely don't want those significantly older than I am. I hope they're conservative and traditional enough since I hear Japanese women make the best wives and mothers. And I find Japanese to be prettier on average than most Chinese and don't have this constant need for their spouse to support their poor rural family with money like Chinese or Southeast Asian women do.

[ryanx]

Woman from Southern Philippines by a landslide. However, you do need to be very selective. The youngest, sexiest Filipinas will usually screw you around so its better to choose an average looking woman.

Why women from Southern Philippines?

[MrMan]

OK, now you've wasted your youth on some pretty feminist girl, you hope to find a foreign girl to "love you" - But on the other hand watch the movie "her" and get a virtual wife now, then a robot wife soon!

I tried to watch that stupid movie yesterday and it was so boring I skipped ahead to see if it got better. If I could make out the story line, the operating system was 'cheating' on him by talking with other men like himself, but it didn't decrease her love for him.

If the 'Her' situation worked it, it doesn't sound at all like a viable alternative.

We do need to warn young men to avoid feminists and not just marry up the physically pretty girls. Men need to be selective, too. American man can make some lousy husbands. Our culture doesn't promote or appreciate 'masculine virtues.' Part of this may be due to feminism trying to gender-neutralize everything.

[MrMan]

Anyone has any opinion on Japan? A relative of mine back in Shanghai wants to hook me up with Japanese women whom I hear often come to the city to look for local men since they're seen as ideal marriage material. I'm not sure about the age range, but I definitely don't want those significantly older than I am. I hope they're conservative and traditional enough since I hear Japanese women make the best wives and mothers. And I find Japanese to be prettier on average than most Chinese and don't have this constant need for their spouse to support their poor rural family with money like Chinese or Southeast Asian women do.

I spoke with a Japanese single mother converted to Christianity. She said no one had taught her that premarital sex was wrong. She got pregnant out of wedlock before she found this out, she said. She believes it is wrong now.

She also said in churches the number of women greatly outnumber the number of men who are Christians. Many who are serious about their faith do not want to marry nonChristians and end up never marrying. She also suspects some of the women may remain virgins. If you could find someone like that with a good personality and strong ethics and values who embraces the traditional serve-your-husband Japanese role of the wife, I could see how that could work. A Japanese friend of mine told me that are 'wife queen' and 'husband king' marriages. It's true everywhere, even Japan. Some of the Japanese women get careers and put off marriage just like the west.

In general, Japanese culture seems like it may have a slutty vibe, porn all over the place, men and women trying to find a sex partner on Christmas day, and stuff like that. It's not the ideal culture for finding a wife, but one might be able to find a good wife there if he is selective.

I'm posting with some basic assumptions. The best option for a good wife is someone who is not feminist in her thinking. Rather, they believe in submitting to their husbands (and/or do it because it's engrained in them somehow). If the husband is the boss in the woman's mind, this prevents lots and lots of conflict in the marriage and makes things run smoothly. Acceptance of male leadership also helps the woman be happy. There is some truth to 'a happy wife means a happy life.'

Statistically, virginity at marriage is linked to much lower rates of 'marital disruption.' If extra-marital sex is such a bad thing to her before marriage that she preserves her virginity, it makes sense that she may try to exercise the same discipline to keep her body for her husband after marriage. Also, there are benefits from having only bonded sexually with her own husband.

[MrMan]

I'm very happy with my wife. She's from Indonesia. It's foolish, though, to think that just because a wife is from a certain place, she is going to be a good wife. I lived there for a year or two and passed over a lot of women who seemed to show interested in me before I met her.

For me, Indonesian women don't tend to be as good looking on average as women in the US. I visited a US college campus recently and was just outside of another one. But there are beautiful women there. I married one.

Some things are more important than looks for a happy marriage. Marrying based solely on looks is extremely foolish.

If an Indonesian women doesn't know how to cook, she may be ashamed to admit it because they believe women are supposed to know how to cook. They are also supposed to clean the home. I used to work with some older married ladies and they'd go home and do the wifely thing, too, taking care of the food, home and children. I didn't hear any talk of getting the man to do half the chores.

The downside is some of them believe if they work, their money is just for themselves because it is the man's responsibility to provide. But you get that in the US, too. In a way it's fairer there because the woman is seen as responsible for the home. I do help around the house, washing dishes, etc. We have a lot of children and my wife tires out.

In regard to sex, most of their jokes about sex are about married people having sex. They joke around a bit about newly weds. One woman there sent around dirty jokes, but I heard she had affairs. There are women who do that there, just like anywhere else, and men, too. Men who marry Indonesians benefit from the double standard, since a woman doing that is bad. A man doing it is seen as bad but probably not to the same degree. Some people refer to it as a man having a second wife, and the case of Muslims that may actually be the case. There is also the 'hidden wife' which could be a wife or mistress. But most women, even Muslims, don't want to live like that. Some would stay married through it though. Divorce rates have gone up recently, but I think they are far lower than the US.

Indonesians think of sex as for marriage and seem positive toward it. In the US, there are jokes about sex drying up at marriage. In Indonesia, male and female are expected to be virgins at marriage, and they make jokes about all the sex the newly married couples make (or just tease or make comments, rather than your classic joke that gets repeated). Humor on the topic tends to be pro-marriage and pro-sex-in marriage. It's a different way of thinking about it.

Wives are supposed to sleep with their husbands. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. Some of their cultures are rather male dominated, which is a good thing for a western man marrying in. Not every household is, though. So it's a case by case, thing. What a woman was conditioned to think was normal varies from house to house.

Batak culture is very anti-divorce and the family (which can be close and seem intrusive to westerners) tends to be against it. Their cultural system is complicated and you have to get adopted with a family name to be married into it.

Javanese tend to not say what they feel. They go to your house and if you offer water, they may say no. If they want water, they may tell you it is a hot day. If you turn down something to drink at a Javanese home, they may bring it anyway. They really serve you if you are a guest, especially overnight, and can treat you like a king. Lots of Indonesians are like this. They say the Javanese don't tell you they are upset until they are ready to kill you. I don't know what it would be like to be married to one. The positive side is they make you feel so comfortable and Javanese women are known for being submissive. The downside is if she has trouble telling you what she is thinking and feeling. But individual Javanese can be very candid. I do like Javanese people, something I can say about lots of people-groups. There are different social classes and not all are as 'refined' in the ethics I've described above.

Christians there aren't supposed to divorce. I know of a few, a few, of my wife's relatives who have divorced and had 'marital disruption' (leaving and never coming back.) I can think of three. My family in the US on the other hand-- I don't know if I can count. I don't have enough fingers. I'm comparing extended family here. My wife is Batak.

Everyone has flaws. My wife has created a bit of 'drama' over the years, often linked to PMS hormones, pregnancy hormones, etc. She's blamed me for her emotions in the past. What helps us is our faith. When my wife has difficulties she prays and gets her head on straight and sorts through it. I am very, very pleased with my wife. If I had some kind of time machine that would let my consciousness take over my body in my early 20's, I think I'd have gotten done with college really fast and married her up several years earlier in her late teens to marry her sooner. But I was selective when I was in Indonesia looking for a wife. I wouldn't have been attracted to every woman, clicked with every woman, and not every woman would have made as good of a wife.

Lot's of Indonesians like Caucasians and other foreigners. Foreign Asians may even have an advantage over local men if they are from developed countries. I'd think Africans are at a disadvantage though I've seem them with attractive local women, too. Being a foreigner comes with advantages there. You are automatically deemed rich because their wages are low. Women grow up watching Caucasian heroes on the movies. They were colonized and the Dutch were their higher class rulers. They tend not to be against ethnic mixing as far as I know except the Chinese, who may make an exception for whites. Some women may be materialistic, though, so you have to check that out on a case by case basis.

I never had my wife pay for my meals while we were dating. I'd take her out every night. She was appreciative but showed concern about me spending too much money on her. She was in college and didn't have money. I gave her unsolicited help with tuition, which she was praying to the Lord for (not praying I'd give it.) She didn't want me calling (pay per minute) on the phone too much, out of fear of running up my phone bill. I said it was okay and she was fine with it.