The 30 to 50 year age gap in marriage makes sense

[newlifeinphilippines]

you cant defy the biological clock sorry.

Just more delusional fantasy from a expat whos been in the jungles too long.

LOL...you are quite amusing, but childish. Of course you cannot ultimately defeat father time, but biological clocks run at different rates for different people. Some people like are old at 20. Others stretch their prime well beyond average. You act like that is some kind of news-flash. Genetics and life are not fair- some win the lottery and some have inherited tendencies that combine with poor living habits to make living to 60 a hard task. Others, like my great grandfather, worked full time till he was past 90 and lived to the age of 100.

you can excericse and eat right and die of cancer at 50. Age is more of a risk factor than anything else so you can't always beat it by trying to excercise and eat right. So eat right do whatever you want but you still might die young and your kids will suffer. Dont you want to be around when your kids are in their 30's? Of course someone could die in a car crash at a young age also. I just think if someone wants kids then the unselfish thing to do is be younger when having them. You dont want to be selfish by having kids but then yuo want to be selfish by being too old for them. You want your cake and eat it too. Thats why some expats refuse to have new kids or get a single mother instead cause it doesnt make sense to start a family at their age.

[OutWest]

you cant defy the biological clock sorry.

Just more delusional fantasy from a expat whos been in the jungles too long.

LOL...you are quite amusing, but childish. Of course you cannot ultimately defeat father time, but biological clocks run at different rates for different people. Some people like are old at 20. Others stretch their prime well beyond average. You act like that is some kind of news-flash. Genetics and life are not fair- some win the lottery and some have inherited tendencies that combine with poor living habits to make living to 60 a hard task. Others, like my great grandfather, worked full time till he was past 90 and lived to the age of 100.

you can excericse and eat right and die of cancer at 50. Age is more of a risk factor than anything else so you can't always beat it by trying to excercise and eat right. So eat right do whatever you want but you still might die young and your kids will suffer. Dont you want to be around when your kids are in their 30's? Of course someone could die in a car crash at a young age also. I just think if someone wants kids then the unselfish thing to do is be younger when having them. You dont want to be selfish by having kids but then yuo want to be selfish by being too old for them. You want your cake and eat it too. Thats why some expats refuse to have new kids or get a single mother instead cause it doesnt make sense to start a family at their age.

Probably one thing that can increase life expectancy is to not be too concerned about the life decisions of others. You sound like a worry-wart.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

The only problems I see with this lifestyle choice is that at 50, a man's sexual performance cannot usually satisfy a young woman in either quality or quantity.

But there is also the problem of degraded sperm quality:

The genetic quality of sperm, as well as its volume and motility, all typically decrease with age,[3] though telomere length of the sperm actually tends to increase, with possible positive consequences on offspring longevity.[4] The population geneticist James F. Crow said that the fact that DNA in sperm degrades as men age and can then be passed along to children in permanently degraded and irreparable form, which they likely pass on as well, means that the "greatest mutational health hazard to the human genome is fertile older males". He described mutations that have a direct visible effect on the child's health and also mutations that can be latent or have minor visible effects on the child's health; many such mutations allow the child to reproduce, but cause more serious problems for grandchildren, greatgrandchildren and later generations.[5]

Because paternity did not become provable until 1970, and the cost of definitively establishing it only recently became low enough to do it on widespread basis, this has meant that only limited scientific research into paternal age effect problems of degraded DNA has been done. Harry Fisch, a physician who has done research in this area, says that research into paternal age effect degradation of DNA is "in its infancy".[6]

A 2014 study had experts suggesting that the debate based on mixed evidence whether a father’s age is linked to his child’s vulnerability to individual disorders like autism and schizophrenia had been settled.[7][8] The result being that "Men have a biological clock of sorts because of random mutations in sperm over time". Dr. Patrick F. Sullivan, a professor of genetics at the University of North Carolina, who was not involved in the study said "This is the best paper I’ve seen on this topic, and it suggests several lines of inquiry into mental illness".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect

[Rock]

The only problems I see with this lifestyle choice is that at 50, a man's sexual performance cannot usually satisfy a young woman in either quality or quantity.

But there is also the problem of degraded sperm quality:

The genetic quality of sperm, as well as its volume and motility, all typically decrease with age,[3] though telomere length of the sperm actually tends to increase, with possible positive consequences on offspring longevity.[4] The population geneticist James F. Crow said that the fact that DNA in sperm degrades as men age and can then be passed along to children in permanently degraded and irreparable form, which they likely pass on as well, means that the "greatest mutational health hazard to the human genome is fertile older males". He described mutations that have a direct visible effect on the child's health and also mutations that can be latent or have minor visible effects on the child's health; many such mutations allow the child to reproduce, but cause more serious problems for grandchildren, greatgrandchildren and later generations.[5]

Because paternity did not become provable until 1970, and the cost of definitively establishing it only recently became low enough to do it on widespread basis, this has meant that only limited scientific research into paternal age effect problems of degraded DNA has been done. Harry Fisch, a physician who has done research in this area, says that research into paternal age effect degradation of DNA is "in its infancy".[6]

A 2014 study had experts suggesting that the debate based on mixed evidence whether a father’s age is linked to his child’s vulnerability to individual disorders like autism and schizophrenia had been settled.[7][8] The result being that "Men have a biological clock of sorts because of random mutations in sperm over time". Dr. Patrick F. Sullivan, a professor of genetics at the University of North Carolina, who was not involved in the study said "This is the best paper I’ve seen on this topic, and it suggests several lines of inquiry into mental illness".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect

When the research is more complete, I think the salient question will be what are the increased probabilities of offspring having some sort of problem when father is over a certain age. If say the probability increases from 1 out of 10,000 to 1 out of 1,000 (a ten fold increase), some may still be willing to roll the dice since there would be a 999/1,000 chance of no problem. But if an older father means a more sizable figure of offspring on average (say 1 out of 20 or even 1 out of 10) will have some special problem vs. an insignificant risk for younger guy, then there's a very strong argument not for men to sire children after a certain age.

Some anecdotes, one of my bosses before has a biological father who is 50+ years older than he is. And he's pretty much a model type guy - moral, Christian, and made his first million on his own before 30. Look into the youngest existing offspring of Warren Jeffs and see if many of them have issues.

[davewe]

The only problems I see with this lifestyle choice is that at 50, a man's sexual performance cannot usually satisfy a young woman in either quality or quantity.

Speak for yourself - not the rest of us

But seriously, feminism brought about the ridiculous notion that women have the same libido as men. It's nonsense. I have been hearing for decades about women who claimed their libidos were insatiable. I suppose there must be a few out there but definitely the minority.

But you're correct - now that I am old I really mostly want a good nap The truth is the opposite. The young wife brings back the guys libido which has been dormant due to dating/screwing 50+ year olds.

This reminds me of a story with my wife that falls under the category of TMI. It was my birthday and we had a party. I drank far more than normal. After the guests left we cleaned up the house. By the time we were done it was maybe 1:00AM. I was exhausted and thought for sure I would hit the pillow and be out in seconds. Wife climbed on top of me for a birthday present lol. I'm thinking, "baby there is no way..." when suddenly junior came to life hahaha. A great end to a great birthday.

Look, everyone has to do what is right for him. That may or may not be hanging out with a 20-something. As the old saying goes, "those who can't do - teach." For those of us who still can - let us!

[davewe]

you cant defy the biological clock sorry.

Just more delusional fantasy from a expat whos been in the jungles too long.

LOL...you are quite amusing, but childish. Of course you cannot ultimately defeat father time, but biological clocks run at different rates for different people. Some people like are old at 20. Others stretch their prime well beyond average. You act like that is some kind of news-flash. Genetics and life are not fair- some win the lottery and some have inherited tendencies that combine with poor living habits to make living to 60 a hard task. Others, like my great grandfather, worked full time till he was past 90 and lived to the age of 100.

you can excericse and eat right and die of cancer at 50.

I agree but came to the opposite conclusion. It is human folly to believe you know when you will die and how long you will life a productive and healthy life. Any of us could die to tomorrow. You could also live another 60 years (in my case another 30).

When my mother died at 40 my takeaway was that life was short and precious and you'd better live it. Yep, I could have a child and die when the child is young - so could anyone. Therefore I'd better live life to the fullest and if I do have a child do my best as a parent with whatever years and energy I have.

So how do we want to life life? How many young guys believe that they are over the hill at 30 and life is over at 50. If they believe that then by the time they reach that age it might be true for them. But the truth is at 50 you have decades left and you can use and enjoy them as you wish - or piss them away.

I would prefer living a productive fulfilling life, even if the years might be short vs. the wasted life that I see so often (even here on HA) or a life determined by what others believe is right.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Thats why some expats refuse to have new kids or get a single mother instead cause it doesnt make sense to start a family at their age.

You must not forget that, in the Philippines, single mothers typically don't have involved baby daddies. Chances are the child doesn't now his or her father, and thus the role of father figure and guardian will fall to you. Especially when you are old and only interested in much younger girls (30-50 year age gap), chances are the child will live with you and, not knowing any better, regard you as a father. Which makes me wonder... why are you so adamant about not wanting your own kids, yet you are fine with raising someone else's? Because being a with a young single mother in the Philippines, that's pretty much what it boils down to.

Now as for my personal opinion on later-in-life marriage: Dave and OutWest have shown that it's definitely possible and can be quite enjoyable for all parties involved. I have absolutely no issues with older men marrying younger women. If I would ever (God forbid) become a widower, who knows? I may marry a pretty young thing old enough to be my granddaughter to make the winter of my life a little less dull.

This was covered in another thread where me and hammanta were discussing it. When you have your own kids you worry something will go wrong during the baby making decision (deformities or the kid will have personality issues). Also im not a fan of the birth and baby stage. Also it feels less "responsible" if you are not the blood line of the actual kid. Its sort of like a half escape.

Personally though I dont want a single mother either even at a older age. I was just thinking that the odds of finding a girl that is very attractive and sexual would decrease substantially at a 30+ year age gap and you may have to settle sometimes on the children issue especially in a country like phil where they get started early.

[newlifeinphilippines]

The only problems I see with this lifestyle choice is that at 50, a man's sexual performance cannot usually satisfy a young woman in either quality or quantity.

Speak for yourself - not the rest of us

But seriously, feminism brought about the ridiculous notion that women have the same libido as men. It's nonsense. I have been hearing for decades about women who claimed their libidos were insatiable. I suppose there must be a few out there but definitely the minority.

But you're correct - now that I am old I really mostly want a good nap The truth is the opposite. The young wife brings back the guys libido which has been dormant due to dating/screwing 50+ year olds.

This reminds me of a story with my wife that falls under the category of TMI. It was my birthday and we had a party. I drank far more than normal. After the guests left we cleaned up the house. By the time we were done it was maybe 1:00AM. I was exhausted and thought for sure I would hit the pillow and be out in seconds. Wife climbed on top of me for a birthday present lol. I'm thinking, "baby there is no way..." when suddenly junior came to life hahaha. A great end to a great birthday.

Look, everyone has to do what is right for him. That may or may not be hanging out with a 20-something. As the old saying goes, "those who can't do - teach." For those of us who still can - let us!

Yes im tired of hearing about womens insatiable libidio. Honestly in my 30's there is no woman on this planet that could keep up with my libido even if she was a high energy nympho 20 year old. Not even my bargirl who was ready anytime of the day could really keep up. From what it seems to me most women have the libido of a 70 year old man (or at least the libido Ill have by the time i turn 70 LOL) - they really dont need it and its not a big deal. So a 50 year age gap with some viagra probably would work well for the AVERAGE woman. Not for the more sexual ones but the average vanila filipina.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Yes im tired of hearing about womens insatiable libidio. Honestly in my 30's there is no woman on this planet that could keep up with my libido even if she was a high energy nympho 20 year old. Not even my bargirl who was ready anytime of the day could really keep up. From what it seems to me most women have the libido of a 70 year old man (or at least the libido Ill have by the time i turn 70 LOL) - they really dont need it and its not a big deal. So a 50 year age gap with some viagra probably would work well for the AVERAGE woman. Not for the more sexual ones but the average vanila filipina.

Bullshit. You probably haven't ever been with a woman who really was into you physically. My wife wants it, if possible several times a day. The first month we were together we had sex for an average of five times a day. Maybe she's not your average woman, or maybe, just maybe, I am simply a little more physically appealing to women then you are. From what I hear OutWest and and Dave, both several decades older then you, have no issues in this department.

You said in one post that a woman on a bus literally touched your breasts and said they were bigger then hers... lol of course they don't have a high libido, but that's because of you, not because of them. Don't be in denial over it. And unless you get in better shape it will only get worse. By the time you are fifty, all you have to offer to make a girl wet is your wallet.

First month? Then what happened? If it dies down after that then its nothing but an act or to impress you. Come back after many months or years More delusion ranting by you once again. And even if that is her natural state thats not typical. If you believe the AVERAGE women are into sex that much then you once again living in fantasy. Your delusions of grandeur and naivety about your world are why you wont last very long in phil. Reality will bite your young ass real soon there. Good luck .


2nd paragraph i dont know what your talking about.


BTW who cares if at 50 they only want my wallet? If you get a girl at 40 and she is 25 when your 50 she will be 35 and probably have zero sex appeal. Give me a girl that only wants my wallet i seem to have more fun. The guys that marry out of love always seem to be jealous and miserable.

[newlifeinphilippines]

First month? Then what happened?

She got pregnant. After she recovered, she was right back in the saddle. Got back into shape real damn quick, too. Filipina's don't get fat or flabby as quickly as Western women. They don't let themselves go and have more pride in their appearance.

If it dies down after that then its nothing but an act or to impress you. Come back after many months or years More delusion ranting by you once again. And even if that is her natural state thats not typical. If you believe the AVERAGE women are into sex that much then you once again living in fantasy. Your delusions of grandeur and naivety about your world are why you wont last very long in phil. Reality will bite your young a** real soon there. Good luck .

The average woman is into sex, if she's with a real man. A real man will make her all hot 'n bothered no matter what. Men who complain about women's libido's being too damn low and "the average woman not being into sex that much", tend to not be that sensual. Attractive men don't have this problem. Women have tastes and preferences too and sometimes you simply don't meet them. Plenty of young Filipinas dating an old fat American have young agile Filipino lovers on the side.

The average woman is into sex a bit but not too much if she is AVERAGE. Actually im good at sex. Looks and/or personality may have something to do with me or other cases Im not gonna argue that point but women in general just dont seem to have a libido anywhere near a man. Im not sure i agree with you on attractive men not have this problem. There is many attractive guys out there that complain about a womans sex drive after the quick initial honeymoon phase.

[newlifeinphilippines]

First month? Then what happened?

The guys that marry out of love to the right woman are many things, but miserable ain't one of them. Miserable are the ones who know their woman wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole if it weren't for their money. The lesser man, who has to buy what the better man gets for free.

Hmmm maybe ill have to try that and get back with you.

Funny i see quite a percent of guys complaining about their wives (america or abroad) that are with them out of "love" than the guys who made a hoe or a gold digger out of a housewife. So where is exactly the perks? Seems like you get high risk and low results (lack of looks in comparison to what money buys) whereas with a gold digger your at least guaranteed good results at least at a superficial level.

But the only time i tried that in philippines was with some virginal church girl and i just got irriated by her personality and i wanted sex so i couldn't run fast away and went back to my bargirl at the time (this was in 2013). I Just can't control myself.

[Hero]

My wife and kids do not see me as "Old" in any disabling sense. They know I can outwork, outgun, and out-think any of the "young" dads
they know. You can stay in good shape both in body and mind much later than most will assume so long as you are not living the slothful life of the West.

I'm 46 and I run in races every weekend, ranging from 5 km to 15 km. I can easily outrun kids less than half my age and I've got a shelf full of medals and trophies to prove it I've got a 20-year-old female admirer in the Philippines who would kill for the privilege of being my slave and serving me in every way, from wild sex to doing domestic chores for me. I can't believe how many guys my age think that it's somehow wrong to date women more than 5 years younger than they are. They are seriously pathetic.

[newlifeinphilippines]

My wife and kids do not see me as "Old" in any disabling sense. They know I can outwork, outgun, and out-think any of the "young" dads
they know. You can stay in good shape both in body and mind much later than most will assume so long as you are not living the slothful life of the West.

I'm 46 and I run in races every weekend, ranging from 5 km to 15 km. I can easily outrun kids less than half my age and I've got a shelf full of medals and trophies to prove it I've got a 20-year-old female admirer in the Philippines who would kill for the privilege of being my slave and serving me in every way, from wild sex to doing domestic chores for me. I can't believe how many guys my age think that it's somehow wrong to date women more than 5 years younger than they are. They are seriously pathetic.

they dont want you to have a sex slave out of jealousy.

[Hero]

they dont want you to have a sex slave out of jealousy.

They say that they couldn't marry a much younger woman, because they wouldn't have enough in common with her. It's like they think that they can't have any friends other than their wives, therefore their wives have to fulfill all of their needs. That's bullshit .If they want to reminisce about the 70's and 80's, why don't they just go for a boys' night out with their 50-year-old bros?

[newlifeinphilippines]

they dont want you to have a sex slave out of jealousy.

They say that they couldn't marry a much younger woman, because they wouldn't have enough in common with her. It's like they think that they can't have any friends other than their wives, therefore their wives have to fulfill all of their needs. That's bullshit .If they want to reminisce about the 70's and 80's, why don't they just go for a boys' night out with their 50-year-old bros?

I dont believe thats the reason they are just jealous.

Studies have proven that men prefer 20 year olds no matter what age they are. Thats why the "younger guys" are in delusion if they think the ideal is to marry young. Ideal to marry young is only if you want kids and to be satisfied HERE AND NOW. Delayed gratification will work better in the end though. Although some will marry someone very young and still have kids anyways like outwest, but I really dont think thats ideal if you want emphasis on kids. Id rather have a hot young mate and no kids when old than have kids and grow old together. I want to look at ahot young female. Not spend every year going by just thinking of how ugly my wife is getting LOL Also most guys that marry young or have tons of relationships young are BROKE. And they often aren't as smart either. Guys who have the time of solitude have a chance to build up tons of knowledge and vast wealth. Which in the end is more beneficial to everyone.