Observations by Falcon
Introduction
I am a 25-year-old Taiwanese American living in Chiang Mai, Thailand with my Thai girlfriend and daughter. My Thai girlfriend has lived in Chiang Mai for most of her adult life, although she was born in Buriram Province, Thailand. She is a small business owner and would be about lower-middle class. I was born in and grew up in California, and attended the University of California. My parents were born in Taiwan, but have lived in the US for about 30 years. I am fluent in Mandarin Chinese and have absorbed many (but not all) of my parents' traditional Taiwanese attitudes, thus making me more in tune with East Asian cultural norms.
After over one year of culturally immersive living in Thailand with my girlfriend and daughter (meaning speaking only Thai everyday, and interacting almost exclusively with Thais on a daily basis), I have decided to put together the list of following similarities between Thai and Chinese culture - especially southern Chinese culture which is also typical of the Taiwan, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, and North America Chinese diasporas. As much as 15% of the population in Thailand has at least some Chinese ancestry, mostly Teochew (Chaozhou). This is comparable to Irish, Italian, or German ancestry in the United States.
Koreans and Vietnamese also have similar cultural traits, as they are fully within the Sinosphere. Japan would be either on the periphery or part of it, depending on how you look at it. Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, and Myanmar are at the periphery of the Sinosphere, and also share many core cultural values with the Sinosphere. The Annamite Range separates these Theravada Buddhist countries from the core Sinosphere, which were historically Mahayana Buddhist, but now mainly secular and/or secular. However, they are significantly more laid-back and easygoing, and do not have many of the more hardcore cultural traits typical of the core Sinosphere, such as strict patrilineaty, living with the husband's in-laws, emphasis on having sons, surname genealogies going back many generations, heavy cultural emphasis on examination-based education, and so forth. These countries tend to be treat sons and daughters equally, often practice matrilocality (living with the wife's family), give women more autonomy, and place less of an emphasis on blood kinship. On the other hand, the Philippines and Indonesia are way beyond the periphery of the Sinosphere (map below).
Thais and Filipinos are like apples and oranges. Thai culture is much more Chinese-like, while Filipino culture is much more Latin American.
(I will refer to my girlfriend as my "wife" since we feel like a normal, functional family unit now.
)Money and love
- For Thais and Chinese, money and love are not so clearly separate. You will need at least a basic minimum of money to show your love towards your loved ones. This does not mean that all Thais and Chinese are ruthless gold-diggers. It's like how you can't really love your pet dog or cat if you aren't able to properly feed it. Giving out angpao (red packets of money) on New Year's show how much you love and respect your loved ones on New Year's Day. My wife also told her son that he will need to make some money first, or else girls would run away. My Taiwanese father had also told me the exact same thing before.
- For Filipinos and Westerners, money and love are often separate. Love is love. Money is money and that's different. Some Filipinos are often also financially practical when it comes to marriage, but the Thais and Chinese take it to a whole new level. Like Chinese people, Thais also place paramount importance on having good finances in order to have a successful marriage, and don't really believe that much in "true love without money" - something Westerners and most Filipinos would have much less trouble understanding.
Frugality
- My wife places a lot of emphasis on frugality in everyday life. This means the stereotypical "Asian" penny-pinching that white Americans find puzzling with many Chinese and Indian immigrants. If our daughter wants to buy some 60-baht toy, she'd get lectured about the importance of not wasting money. I'm actually the one spoiling her with these little treats, and my wife tell me to save my money and not buy them. I remember my parents doing the same thing with me. Nevertheless, many Thais have now lost this trait as they take on huge amounts of debt in order to buy big houses and cars. That's a lot like America.
But during family events and restaurant meals, you go all out to show you generosity. Splitting bills would be a huge loss of face.
- Many Filipinos might react by saying "kuripot" (stingy), and that's certainly the impression that they have of the frugal Ilokanos in northern Luzon. Americans are also generally not so fond of penny pinching.
Food
- Thais have many dishes that are exactly the same as southern Chinese (Guangdong, Fujian, Taiwan) dishes. My wife can make mung bean soup, lotus root soup, stir-fried chicken, boiled egg soaked in soy sauce, white chicken rice, kueytiew, dumplings ... the list goes on and on. Her Thai cooking is so reminiscent of my mom's Taiwanese cooking, minus the chili peppers. Curry and somtam are pretty much the only kinds of dishes that do not taste so southern Chinese.
- Filipinos have quite a few Chinese-inspired dishes, but they don't taste so original, and there is a much more limited variety. Yes, there's lumpia, siomai, and siopao, but they taste like they're adapted. Chowking isn't so authentic either. Most food is sour-tasting, since Filipinos make copious use of vinegar. Many other dishes such as puchero and adobo have Spanish and Latin American origins. Overall, most Filipino dishes just don't taste so Chinese or Taiwanese.
Language
- Chinese and Thai have different origins, but they have undergone intense contact until around 1,000 years ago. The ethnic Thais originated in southern China - Guangxi and Guangdong in particular, where there are still many Tai-speaking peoples. The Thai language, like Vietnamese, got its tones and one-syllable words from ancient Chinese influence. About 1,000 years ago, migrations into Laos and Thailand occurred, and they lost contact with their Chinese brethren.
Thai is not too hard to learn if you already know Chinese, but it's not as easy as for native Chinese speakers as Vietnamese. Thai has several hundred words that are very similar to Chinese, but Vietnamese has thousands. It's like how Greek wouldn't be too incredibly difficult for native English speakers, but Spanish or Dutch actually would be much easier.
Chinese and Thai grammar are also incredibly similar.
- Tagalog grammar is quite different from those of English and Spanish, but the native Austronesian sound system is similar enough for thousands of English and Spanish words to be adopted without significant distortion. And Tagalog is nothing like Chinese or Thai at all.
Geomancy
- Thais and Chinese are both into geomancy, i.e. how houses and household objects are supposed to be oriented in order to have good fortune and avoid bad luck. Chinese use feng shui, while Thais use local Buddhist traditions. Even Chinese Christians will generally not get a house that is at the end of a straight, long street, or buy a house where someone has died inside, and things like that.
- This is not such a big deal for Filipinos, and most definitely not for Westerners. Filipino peasants are superstitious too and can be paranoid of evil spirits, but they don't go deep into what direction a bed or doorway is facing in order to avoid bad luck.
Offerings and religion
- Thais and Chinese provide offerings at local household or sometimes roadside shrines in order to pray for good fortune and peace. Offering fresh fruit and joss sticks so that you may get good test scores, a child, or business success. Zen-hippie-type meditation, detachment, and non-self are not things that the average Buddhist commoner thinks about.
- Not in Christianity. Not something most Filipinos or Americans would do.
Saving face
- Thais, Taiwanese, and Japanese are much more reserved, and place very heavy emphasis on outside looks and being very polite in public. Not doing so results in serious loss of face, where society perceives you as someone violating basic cultural norms. The "Thai smile" is pretty much the same as the Taiwanese smile or the Japanese smile. Most Westerners don't seem to get it, but I got it right away. It's an act of deference and politeness. It's something that Winston really doesn't like, as he sees it as fake and weird, haha.
Hence, interaction with those outside your family and close circle of friends is like walking on eggshells. When I observe and analyze how Thais behave with others on a daily basis, I begin to understand why my own parents were always like that even after decades of living in the US.
Also, the Thai phrase for losing face, "sia naa" translates directly and word-by-word to the Chinese "diu lian", both meaning "lose face."
- Filipinos and Americans are bubbly and open, direct and emotional with strangers they meet in public. A brash "Hey what's up!" kind of demeanor.
Filial piety
- For Thais and Chinese, take care of your parents in old age. They gave you sacred life, and you must respect the lives that gave birth to you. Period. My wife sometimes has our daughter kneel down and prostrate to us - something I never even had to do. It's typical in traditional Chinese / Vietnamese / Korean families too.
Some Thais and Chinese may respect and obey their parents so much that their parents would come before their wives or husbands. Son-in-laws and daughter-in-laws are may be at the mercy of a demanding mother-in-law.
- For Filipinos, it's more like "respect your parents" from a Christian standpoint, similar to how Americans think of their families. As in, send them some money and respect them, but it's not actually a sacred Confucian or Buddhist duty where not taking complete care of parents is a grave, culturally taboo sin.
Xenophobia
- Yes, even Thais, Chinese share similar types of racism and xenophobia, although the Chinese are arguably worse. My wife and my parents have made very similar remarks about whites and blacks. Many Thais and Chinese will always feel at least some distance towards people of a completely different race, like blacks and whites, and a more moderate distance towards other Asians of different origins. Unfortunately, that's the way it is, no matter how much we wish it could change.
The comments and questions I get from Thais are pretty much the same ones I get from Chinese and Taiwanese, as I am Taiwanese-American. "Can you eat that? Can you read that? Are you used to this? Well, it's because you're born in X and aren't Y." Indonesians, Filipinos, and Americans just don't obsessively and repeatedly ask such questions. It basically shows that they themselves have a lack of cultural adaptability that they assume in others as well.
And Thais and Chinese both make these same comments about whites: "Why are Farang / Laowai like that?" Or, "They act like that because they are Farang / Laowai, whereas we Chinese / Thais would never do that." And they point out all the minor mannerisms and habits of white people, all behind their backs while talking to other Asian people. A white guy will always be a white guy, although some will be highly adapted.
But once you're completely and totally one of them, they may still not like you that much either. After all, oftentimes Chinese and Thais don't like ... each other the most.
As an Asian American, I am pretty used to having to deal with this stuff. I am used to being half-accepted, with one foot in and one foot out. And oftentimes it's good for me too, as it's a sweet spot where I'm both an insider and outsider with advantages. But understandably, some white expats get very highly frustrated with this, as with Ladislav.
- Filipinos and Americans will generally not be so insular. There is some racism and xenophobia as well, but Filipinos simply don't feel that much distance towards whites. Americans will generally still recognize people of other races as Americans, despite prejudices. The Philippines and US were both colonial melting pots. But China and Thailand were both strict nationalistic monarchies, and their attitude towards outsiders is inextricably linked to how they view themselves as a unified people.
Cynical worldview
- Thais and Chinese generally have a much more cynical, practical view of the world. Business, business, business. Be polite to the world, but ultimately most people can't be trusted. Don't call everyone your good friend.
- Filipinos and Americans will find such a worldview to be highly pessimistic and foreign. They would resent the low-trust attitude and clannishness.
CONCLUSION
Many aspects of Thai culture are ultimately quite similar to Chinese culture. It's at the periphery of the Sinosphere, so there are plenty of superficial differences, but ultimately many Thai core values are very Chinese-like: money, filial piety, and others. They are tend have much more cynical worldviews, and be much more practical than most Filipinos. The Thai underclass is not so Chinese-like though, and they run their lives quite differently from most Thai-Chinese and middle-class Thais.
At the end of the day, as a Taiwanese American, I'd say that I feel more comfortable with a good, responsible, family-oriented Thai woman than with a Filipina. I know many Western (white) men would disagree, and that is understandable since Filipinos' cultural core values are much more similar to American core values than they are to Chinese ones. In many ways, my Thai girl reminds me of my own parents. From her cooking to her frugality and practical mindset and even impressions about foreigners, she definitely has core values that are very similar to those of Taiwanese parents, albeit significantly more relaxed and laid-back. Keep in mind that the Chinese have had a much easier time assimilating into Thailand than into the Philippines.
On the other hand, I would like I am more of an outsider with a Filipina than I would with a Thai. The food and language are not so Chinese-like, and their attitudes towards respecting parents, love, and money are also much less Chinese-like. Filipinas have specifically pointed out my Chinese facial features to me, but Thais don't. Chineseness is much less ingrained into the Filipino psyche, whereas you will be sure to find much more Chineseness in the Thai psyche. Chineseness feels like it's more part of Thailand, but nearly as ingrained into the Philippines. The story of Chinese in Thailand has many parallels with that of Jews in the US.
However much fun you may have with ladies in the beginning, and however much you may appreciate different cultures - at the end of the day you will realize in long-term relationships and marriages involving important decisions, you will simply be much more comfortable with someone who shares similar core cultural values with you. At the end of the day, most Thais will always think of the world like a Thai, and most Filipinos will always think of the world like a Filipino.
A white American man would simply feel much more comfortable with a Filipina due to their similar Christian and Western-type backgrounds. An Asian-American man who hasn't shed too much of his parents' culture and mindset (which probably wouldn't include Winston) would simply be more comfortable with a Thai woman due to their similar mainland East Asian cultural traits. The bubbly, open, personal, easygoing, emotional, direct, Judeo-Christian attitudes and mindsets of Filipinos and Americans contrasts sharply with that of the reserved, quiet, face-saving, (somewhat) cynical, practical, Buddhist-animist attitudes and mindsets of Thais, Vietnamese, Chinese, and Taiwanese.
I haven't really seen any English-language posts like this on the Internet. Either they're about Thai culture from a Western (NW European / Germanic) perspective or from a well-educated Thai who thinks outside the box. Asian-American posters like Repatriate can often provide a different lens on Thailand.
Questions and comments are more than welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read.
