Stress and the Filipina

[davewe]

http://www.marriedafilipina.com/2016/06 ... ment-46559

[cdnFA]

It has been said that maybe if they would stress out a bit more that they would be much better off both on an individual level and on a society level.

Not suggesting that one should stress out over everything but there are things that need to be carefully considered and not just passed off as not worth stressing over.

[davewe]

It has been said that maybe if they would stress out a bit more that they would be much better off both on an individual level and on a society level.

Not suggesting that one should stress out over everything but there are things that need to be carefully considered and not just passed off as not worth stressing over.

This is a tough call which is why I wrote about my experience. Did I need stress when I was younger to even get out of bed? Yes I did. But the time came where stress was more of a detriment than a benefit. What is the number one killer in the West - heart disease - and very stress related.

Yes, a certain amount of stress is necessary for our survival. But anyone who's lived a while in the West (particularly those who have traveled abroad) knows that the amount of stress we need is far less than the amount we end up with.

My FIL is poor. I can only imagine what kind of stresses he has to endure in his life. But my point is that despite the stress he has had for decades to successfully raise and support a family, he is a smiling and friendly man, happy to buy you a Red Horse.

[cdnFA]

It has been said that maybe if they would stress out a bit more that they would be much better off both on an individual level and on a society level.

Not suggesting that one should stress out over everything but there are things that need to be carefully considered and not just passed off as not worth stressing over.

This is a tough call which is why I wrote about my experience. Did I need stress when I was younger to even get out of bed? Yes I did. But the time came where stress was more of a detriment than a benefit. What is the number one killer in the West - heart disease - and very stress related.

Yes, a certain amount of stress is necessary for our survival. But anyone who's lived a while in the West (particularly those who have traveled abroad) knows that the amount of stress we need is far less than the amount we end up with.

My FIL is poor. I can only imagine what kind of stresses he has to endure in his life. But my point is that despite the stress he has had for decades to successfully raise and support a family, he is a smiling and friendly man, happy to buy you a Red Horse.

All things in moderation.

[The_Adventurer]

Man, I miss that attitude.

I truly believe my years in the Philippines changed me for the better. It may have made me lazy on some fronts, but I think I learned how to be happier, and more importantly, happier with less.

I wish my Chinese wife could learn a bit of that Philippines vibe. She will yell at me and stress out about stuff that is coming six months down the road as if there is anything we can do about it right now. "Cross that bridge when we come to it." just doesn't work in China.

[cdnFA]

Man, I miss that attitude.

I truly believe my years in the Philippines changed me for the better. It may have made me lazy on some fronts, but I think I learned how to be happier, and more importantly, happier with less.

I wish my Chinese wife could learn a bit of that Philippines vibe. She will yell at me and stress out about stuff that is coming six months down the road as if there is anything we can do about it right now. "Cross that bridge when we come to it." just doesn't work in China.

The other extreme

I wonder, was there any sign of this before marriage. I would like to know for my own personal reasons.

[The_Adventurer]

Man, I miss that attitude.

I truly believe my years in the Philippines changed me for the better. It may have made me lazy on some fronts, but I think I learned how to be happier, and more importantly, happier with less.

I wish my Chinese wife could learn a bit of that Philippines vibe. She will yell at me and stress out about stuff that is coming six months down the road as if there is anything we can do about it right now. "Cross that bridge when we come to it." just doesn't work in China.

The other extreme

I wonder, was there any sign of this before marriage. I would like to know for my own personal reasons.

That's just the way it is in China. There is no escaping it. It is a very money-centric, practical, every last little thing must be planned to the nth decimal place kinda culture. This is also why there is a severe lack of creativity here. Not that I can complain, that's also why I am able to work.

[cdnFA]

Man, I miss that attitude.

I truly believe my years in the Philippines changed me for the better. It may have made me lazy on some fronts, but I think I learned how to be happier, and more importantly, happier with less.

I wish my Chinese wife could learn a bit of that Philippines vibe. She will yell at me and stress out about stuff that is coming six months down the road as if there is anything we can do about it right now. "Cross that bridge when we come to it." just doesn't work in China.

The other extreme

I wonder, was there any sign of this before marriage. I would like to know for my own personal reasons.

That's just the way it is in China. There is no escaping it. It is a very money-centric, practical, every last little thing must be planned to the nth decimal place kinda culture. This is also why there is a severe lack of creativity here. Not that I can complain, that's also why I am able to work.

I am in that situation [without leaving home... yay] and I am trying to get a grasp on if she is going to be one of those who is sweet when dating and a horrid beatch when married. I've heard it's a thing.
So far, she seems very careful with money, both her own and mine, although she insists on paying her way. Doesn't seem very materialistic at least. It seems they come in two flavors, the green tea bitches who have to have the brands and the ultra frugal types. I don't mind the latter. I value the latter.
However I don't want to be yelled at. She seems quite kind and the not yelling type but things are still new. I suppose it doesn't hurt that we are too old for kids, that takes out a big stresser.

[The_Adventurer]

I am in that situation [without leaving home... yay] and I am trying to get a grasp on if she is going to be one of those who is sweet when dating and a horrid beatch when married. I've heard it's a thing.
So far, she seems very careful with money, both her own and mine, although she insists on paying her way. Doesn't seem very materialistic at least. It seems they come in two flavors, the green tea bitches who have to have the brands and the ultra frugal types. I don't mind the latter. I value the latter.
However I don't want to be yelled at. She seems quite kind and the not yelling type but things are still new. I suppose it doesn't hurt that we are too old for kids, that takes out a big stresser.

You have that going for you. The biggest change in mine came after having kids.

Is her mother still alive? Have you met her? That's the best indicator you can find right there. What is her mother like, and what is her relationship with her mother like?

[cdnFA]

You have that going for you. The biggest change in mine came after having kids.

Is her mother still alive? Have you met her? That's the best indicator you can find right there. What is her mother like, and what is her relationship with her mother like?

She died about 20 years ago. She took it pretty hard from what she says.