Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

[Winston]

True @publicduende. However I don't think that even middle class Filipinas are approachable. In the malls they also look closed and don't acknowledge my existence if I say hi to them. Yes they do often look stuck up. They look like they're better than everyone. They have that arrogant look on their face and body language and aura. I've seen it many times in the malls of angeles city and manila. They definitely don't look open to cold approach by a stranger.

So why do so many people make such bogus videos like this? Furthermore why do they talk about game and social skills? If a woman isn't attracted to you those things aren't going to make any difference. You will still hit a wall. These videos give you the illusion of control that you don't really have. I hate that. It's deceptive and BS. Why is everyone on YouTube so full of BS?

Btw sure they don't need us. but why can't Filipinas seek us for companionship, connection, chemistry, etc rather than financial need only? That's what I don't get. Why can't relationships be about chemistry and love like they show in the movies? How come Filipinas don't act like they do in Filipino romance movies? Lol

[publicduende]

True @publicduende. However I don't think that even middle class Filipinas are approachable. In the malls they also look closed and don't acknowledge my existence if I say hi to them. Yes they do often look stuck up. They look like they're better than everyone. They have that arrogant look on their face and body language and aura. I've seen it many times in the malls of angeles city and manila. They definitely don't look open to cold approach by a stranger.

@Winston

First of all, I don't understand why people including you obsess with the idea of flirting with Filipina girls in the malls. Everywhere in the world, girls are open to chitchatting and flirting when they are not busy doing something else. If they're in a mall, moving from A to B, they're not free. If they have something important to talk about with their friends at a coffee shop, they're not free. If they are behind a counter serving customers, not only they're not free, any interaction that goes beyond sales will get them scolded by their supervisors.

Of course a man can always break that barrier and trigger interest instantly, but there are conditions. One condition is that they have to be open for that, so they have to be either single, or in the mood for a little adventure. The other is that the man has to have something compelling that grabs their attention. Usually looks, maybe a super-confident attitude, or the right excuse to approach them.

Having said all this, I don't 50-yo out of shape men like me and you are exactly the kind of diversions these girls are looking for to break up their activities and give us the time of the day.

After so many years in the Philippines, indeed, so many years out and about trying to approach girls, you stil haven't got this simple memo. It can only get worse with age, and it will. I promise you.

You should get resigned and look for girls who are closer to our age: divorcees with kids, in their late 30s or 40s. Like anywhere in the world, those women know their chances are a lot thinner, so chances that they will be willing to entertain the likes of us are much higher. Alternatively, you always have the dating site, where at least you can see how the girl looks like and understand her level of desperation in wanting to hook up with a mature foreigner, perhaps in the hope of getting a life-saving relationship with him, or maybe some short-term benefit.

So why do so many people make such bogus videos like this? Furthermore why do they talk about game and social skills? If a woman isn't attracted to you those things aren't going to make any difference. You will still hit a wall. These videos give you the illusion of control that you don't really have. I hate that. It's deceptive and BS. Why is everyone on YouTube so full of BS?

Simple, Winnie, because optimism and happiness sell clicks and subscribes. I don't spend enourmous amounts of time watching random videos on YT. Yet, I couldn't help realising how "young backpacker vlogger in the Philippines", or "mature vlogger settled in the Philippines" have become extremely common. True, most of these men seem to portray the Philippines, or at least the areas they visit, usually Manila, Cebu City, Davao or Dumaguete, as some tropical paradise with pretty girls willing to flirt with you can be found at every street corner.

Fortunately, some of the more honest of the lot have also started to make videos warning fellow men that it's ain't that rosy, after all. Yes, obviously no girl will stop and call the police if a foreigner is staring at them a little too much. Yet, it's mostly "see but not touch". Filipino people, especially those you meet in an urban context, are indeed getting out of poverty. Both the men and the women are less and less interested in hanging out with a foreigner "just because". This is exactly why it becomes even more evident that, when they do, it's because of some hidden agenda that comes right out pretty soon, usually money less usually help finding a job.

Btw sure they don't need us. but why can't Filipinas seek us for companionship, connection, chemistry, etc rather than financial need only? That's what I don't get. Why can't relationships be about chemistry and love like they show in the movies? How come Filipinas don't act like they do in Filipino romance movies? Lol

Well, because they have someone else providing that companionship, connection, chemistry. Isn't it a little arrogant of us to think that we are the only men who can satisfy a Filipina's needs? Just the fact that a Filipina can speak the same language with local men, have a shared cultural background and understanding, is something that puts any local man way, way above us.

Plus, there are definitely a lot fewer young and pretty girls than men perfectly capable to take care at them, so the cards are stacked against us foreigners to boot. Only the rock bottom girls, those who know won't get much more than a tricycle driver who will get them pregnant and leave immediately after, will actively look for a foreigner. This is a story we have been telling for years, decades in fact.

[Winston]

But PD. We don't have to date older Filipinas. Big age gaps are acceptable in the PH. Remember? That's the beauty of it, as we all know. Why would we be limited to older women? You aren't making sense. Why are you so obsessed with age? When I was young I was not more successful with women, when you have a dark cloud above you, your age doesn't matter. Everything you touch goes up in flames.

You miss my point. I don't mean upper/middle class girls walking in the mall. I meant the ones who are sitting in the restaurants and coffee shops doing nothing. They will not talk to you if you approach them. They will either ignore you or brush you off and tell you to leave them alone. I have experience approaching girls in the PH since 2006 so I have all the experience in the world in this area. Why are you being narrow and assuming every girl in the mall is walking? Some are sitting and eating and having a drink or resting on the bench, etc. Why so narrow? lol

Also PD, while it's true that those vloggers who are overly positive and rosy about the Philippines paint an inaccurate picture, it doesn't mean that those like you that paint an overly negative picture are more accurate. Both extremes are inaccurate. You understand that right?

Ultimately, there's a destiny or higher power that chooses who you hook up with. It's not something we control. When I see the big picture, that's what it ulimately comes down to you. There's no linear logic to it. That's why most people meet their spouse without trying, it happens naturally because a higher power chose it, not us. That's the ultimate secret of reality.

[Winston]

PD,
Is this guy's advice about approaching Filipinas and finding good quality girls true? It sounds overly simplistic and common sense and ideological, without regard for reality, like all PUA videos. He also makes it sound a lot easier than it actually is to pick up regular girls in the PH who are not whores. Also why does this guy put photos of models all over his videos? Geez. That's a cheap tactic. He's insinuating that all Filipinas look like these models. lol

[publicduende]

But PD. We don't have to date older Filipinas. Big age gaps are acceptable in the PH. Remember? That's the beauty of it, as we all know. Why would we be limited to older women? You aren't making sense. Why are you so obsessed with age? When I was young I was not more successful with women, when you have a dark cloud above you, your age doesn't matter. Everything you touch goes up in flames.

You miss my point. I don't mean upper/middle class girls walking in the mall. I meant the ones who are sitting in the restaurants and coffee shops doing nothing. They will not talk to you if you approach them. They will either ignore you or brush you off and tell you to leave them alone. I have experience approaching girls in the PH since 2006 so I have all the experience in the world in this area. Why are you being narrow and assuming every girl in the mall is walking? Some are sitting and eating and having a drink or resting on the bench, etc. Why so narrow? lol

Did you even read what I said? Those are the ones I was referring to. The ones sitting at cafes and restaurants, apparently idle and open for a little chitchat. Like I said just 15 minutes ago (but you forgot to read): if you don't look young, fit, and handsome, they won't give you anmy attention, like pretty much anywhere else in the world.

The fact you say you have never been successful with girls, which I doubt because you have countless videos to prove yourself wrong, has nothing to do with the country, culture or language these girls hail from. Especially today, in a world globalised by Internet and social media. You were mildly successful with the ladies in your prime, simply because you were younger, looked better and it made more sense that someone in his late twenties or early thirties was approaching a girl a handful of years younger.

It makes a lot less sense now, that you are 50-something and you look like you're 50-something. You need to have a bloody good excuse to even elicit a few minutes of their attention.

If it can convince you more, until a few years ago, when I was in Davao, I could easily get girls, of course not the top ones, but any low and mid-tier girls, occasionally someone really sexy or hot. I was a handful of years younger, 42 instead of 49. The point is, I was a lot thinner and fitter. Fast forward to know, my face is not terribly wrinkly and aged. I am not thin anymore, I have fat around my face and around my belly.

I can assure you that noone, not in Manila, not in Davao, is even giving me a single glance. And I am not talking about walking with C by my side. I am talking about walking alone, often without wedding ring at my finger.

The Philippine society is a caricature of some of the worst traits of US society, this should be abundantly clear to everyone. Local or foreigner, you are what you have (and show off), you are what you look like. The moment you stop looking the part, you plunge into anonymity like everyone else.

Also PD, while it's true that those vloggers who are overly positive and rosy about the Philippines paint an inaccurate picture, it doesn't mean that those like you that paint an overly negative picture are more accurate. Both extremes are inaccurate. You understand that right?

Ultimately, there's a destiny or higher power that chooses who you hook up with. It's not something we control. When I see the big picture, that's what it ulimately comes down to you. There's no linear logic to it. That's why most people meet their spouse without trying, it happens naturally because a higher power chose it, not us. That's the ultimate secret of reality.

Well, some of the "negative" vlogger aren't really painting a totally negative picture. They are simply stating more or less what I am saying to you now, that age and looks make a big difference, especially in this time and age dominated by social media-fueled global symbols of beauty and success. The same guy who went to Dumaguete in his mid-20s and was quite the head turner forgot that, 10 years later

• he is in his mid-30s, probably looking wrinklier, chubbier and generally less appealing
• Dumaguete, like the rest of the Philippines, has come along quite a bit: more tourists and foreigners, aesthetic canons shifted towards the ethereal/effeminated K-drama/K-pop look, the ladies being less poor and desperate, and more.

[Yohan]

Did you even read what I said? Those are the ones I was referring to. The ones sitting at cafes and restaurants, apparently idle and open for a little chitchat. Like I said just 15 minutes ago (but you forgot to read): if you don't look young, fit, and handsome, they won't give you anmy attention, like pretty much anywhere else in the world.

.....

It makes a lot less sense now, that you are 50-something and you look like you're 50-something. You need to have a bloody good excuse to even elicit a few minutes of their attention.

If it can convince you more, until a few years ago, when I was in Davao, I could easily get girls, of course not the top ones, but any low and mid-tier girls, occasionally someone really sexy or hot. I was a handful of years younger, 42 instead of 49. The point is, I was a lot thinner and fitter. Fast forward to know, my face is not terribly wrinkly and aged. I am not thin anymore, I have fat around my face and around my belly.

I can assure you that noone, not in Manila, not in Davao, is even giving me a single glance. And I am not talking about walking with C by my side. I am talking about walking alone, often without wedding ring at my finger.

The Philippine society is a caricature of some of the worst traits of US society, this should be abundantly clear to everyone...
-----

Well, some of the "negative" vlogger aren't really painting a totally negative picture. They are simply stating more or less what I am saying to you now, that age and looks make a big difference, especially in this time and age dominated by social media-fueled global symbols of beauty and success. The same guy who went to Dumaguete in his mid-20s and was quite the head turner forgot that, 10 years later

What shall I say, when I was 21 and in Malaysia/Thailand, I met many very young women easily, when I visited Philippines around 31 it was still OK, but now I am 71 and not even one young woman will ever look at me, regardless if I am in Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Singapore or in the Philippines. That's life... You have to change your life-style - what was before will never come again....

When my Japanese wife was young and I was not very sucessful financially I was worried she will leave me anytime, but more than 30 years later she was telling me looking in a mirror she is now worried I might leave her anytime... but we are still together, both 71 now....

What I am doing now? And what is my wife doing now? Well, we both try to keep our life as comfortable as possible - nice home in Japan, no visa issues, good retirement allowance, be healthy and keep fit with swimming, walking, best food for us, I try to keep myself also fit by using foreign languages and I like repairing this and that and to improve my homes and cars, I have 2 cars and motorcycle, have a second home in Thailand,
good computer system on my desk with fast internet, sometimes is coming my daughter with our grandchildren for a visit, etc. etc.

Poor helpless girls are running after me for love and sex?.... not even one so far... I forgot about it already.

It is YOU, who has to change your own way of life according to your age, like it or not. that is the reality.

-------------------------------------------------

The only young woman who is still in contact with me so frequently, is my Filipina fosterdaughter, who is now married and 28 years old.
Our age difference is 43 years.

I remember very well a Cebu social worker, who said to me more than 20 years ago, even as a foreign man and not as a Filipino man, if you help any poor abandoned Philippine child out of the slum life and replace the father such children are known later on to become very grateful, very devoted to you as an adult up to the end of your life.

She told me however to choose carefully, there are so many poor children around, you cannot help them all - many are dumb and a hopeless case - but there are also ones despite their horrible life who are bright. - So far I can say she was really right with her opinion.

When I am visiting Philippines now I have simply said other things to do - I don't expect that girls in a shopping mall will smile at me when passing by... not any more....

My Filipina fosterdaughter never failed to show up from the Cebu Arrival lobby up to the Cebu Departure lobby and every day during my stay in Cebu.... that's OK for me...

[Winston]

Why does this guy Reekah from Life Beyond the Sea claim that most Filipinas he meets by cold approach will go out with him, including middle class and upper class women? Is he lying @publicduende? He looks older than me and has grey hair too. Yet his 100k fans all believe him. How come everyone on YT is so gullible? They believe everything that the person they follow says, even if it's suspect. There's no critical thinking on YT, it's like everyone is just a bot or A.I. nowadays.

Also it's not true that expats can easily date middle and upper class Filipinas. Maybe a small percentage can, like 1 or 2 out of 100. But definitely not the majority of expats. Why does he lie? Doesn't he have any morals or conscience?

[Winston]

@publicduende

You forget that many people say I look much younger than my age. Plus Asian women aren't hung on looks, they prefer a guy who isn't handsome because they don't usually stick to one and aren't as reliable. We all know that. They aren't like white women who are picky about looks. So it's not me. The dating game in the PH has changed. The girls' attitude is much worse and even Angeles City doesn't have as much girls as it did before. That's the biggest factor, not my age or looks. Also my looks are considered decent in the PH. I'm not considered ugly in Filipino culture. I learned that back in 2006.

Also PD, you can look younger too, if you lose weight. Just be more physically active and eat small meals and stop eating snacks between meals and stop eating junk food. You don't have to go to the gym, just be more physically active all day and eat small meals with no snacks or junk food.

Also big age gaps are acceptable in the PH. The culture is not against it. So it's not a major factor PD. Think about it.

[Winston]

Btw PD. My point earlier was that it may be true that vloggers who are overly positive and rosy about the PH are giving out inaccurate information and painting an inaccurate picture of the PH. However, the same is true of the reverse too, in that those who are overly negative, jaded and cynical are also painting an inaccurate picture too. It goes both ways. Both extremes are inaccurate. Did you get my point? Why don't you try to be more neutral and unbiased, instead of being cynical and slanted toward the negative? Why not move to the middle ground? Did you consider that? In my experience, people who assume the worst about everyone are usually wrong most of the time.

Btw FYI, I wasn't that successful with women when I was young. I just made it look that way. Most of the time in those photos or videos, you just see me flirting with girls. But most of the time it didn't go anywhere, they just live for the moment and react to my flirtiness and playfulness and charm. But it doesn't last beyond a day or two. I didn't have sex with most of them, only a small percentage of them. So just like Facebook, what you see online is mostly a facade.

[publicduende]

Why does this guy Reekah from Life Beyond the Sea claim that most Filipinas he meets by cold approach will go out with him, including middle class and upper class women? Is he lying @publicduende? He looks older than me and has grey hair too. Yet his 100k fans all believe him. How come everyone on YT is so gullible? They believe everything that the person they follow says, even if it's suspect. There's no critical thinking on YT, it's like everyone is just a bot or A.I. nowadays.

Also it's not true that expats can easily date middle and upper class Filipinas. Maybe a small percentage can, like 1 or 2 out of 100. But definitely not the majority of expats. Why does he lie? Doesn't he have any morals or conscience?

If this guy looks like this



then he is not telling the truth, yet he is not lying, either. Define "go out with him". Are they simply saying yes to a free coffee, lunch or dinner? Very few Filipinas would say no to good free food with a stranger, as soon as they feel that the stranger is not a total creep and they're doing it at a public place. This behaviour is a galaxy away from what any Western woman would do and it's indeed refreshing to many men visiting or living in the Philippines.

"Dating" for me, @Will N. Dowd and many more, means to sleep with the girl without the girl asking for hard cash in return, which means she is a regular or occasional "walker" (prostitute), and/or starting a relationship with her.

I don't think this guy does any of this.

[publicduende]

@publicduende

You forget that many people say I look much younger than my age. Plus Asian women aren't hung on looks, they prefer a guy who isn't handsome because they don't usually stick to one and aren't as reliable. We all know that. They aren't like white women who are picky about looks. So it's not me. The dating game in the PH has changed. The girls' attitude is much worse and even Angeles City doesn't have as much girls as it did before. That's the biggest factor, not my age or looks. Also my looks are considered decent in the PH. I'm not considered ugly in Filipino culture. I learned that back in 2006.

Also PD, you can look younger too, if you lose weight. Just be more physically active and eat small meals and stop eating snacks between meals and stop eating junk food. You don't have to go to the gym, just be more physically active all day and eat small meals with no snacks or junk food.

Also big age gaps are acceptable in the PH. The culture is not against it. So it's not a major factor PD. Think about it.

Yeah, it's not much about age or looks, as it is need. A girl who has some financial independence doesn't need her man to be a foreigner 20 or 30 years older than her. She can be a better couple with a younger local and she knows it. A girl who hails from a poor or modest background but is pretty knows she can leverage her beauty to marry a local from a better family. In the worst case scenario, if a girl needs a man for support and she has some qualities (brains, looks or both), she can easily find a local, even a mature local, willing to give her what she needs in exchange of companionship and sex.

The "mature foreign man" doesn't even enter the equation until the girl is considered unattractive by the locals, or she or her family has serious behavioural problems and no local would want to touch her with a 5-foot pole.

Then of course if said man is young, attractive and never married, things change considerably. Most of these Philippines YouTubers in their late 40s and 50s don't fall into that category, though. However younger than our age we might look, we don't, either.

[publicduende]

Btw PD. My point earlier was that it may be true that vloggers who are overly positive and rosy about the PH are giving out inaccurate information and painting an inaccurate picture of the PH. However, the same is true of the reverse too, in that those who are overly negative, jaded and cynical are also painting an inaccurate picture too. It goes both ways. Both extremes are inaccurate. Did you get my point? Why don't you try to be more neutral and unbiased, instead of being cynical and slanted toward the negative? Why not move to the middle ground? Did you consider that? In my experience, people who assume the worst about everyone are usually wrong most of the time.

Btw FYI, I wasn't that successful with women when I was young. I just made it look that way. Most of the time in those photos or videos, you just see me flirting with girls. But most of the time it didn't go anywhere, they just live for the moment and react to my flirtiness and playfulness and charm. But it doesn't last beyond a day or two. I didn't have sex with most of them, only a small percentage of them. So just like Facebook, what you see online is mostly a facade.

@Winston

Well, thanks for being honest. I think most of us knew it already. You chose to go way off the beaten path and you documented all of this for us. You indeed created a forum and a bit of a movement. If you had handled it better, you would have been a multimillionaire placed way above most of those self-proclaimed "dating gurus" and "motivational geniuses". Still, you deserve some respect for all that, at least from me.

The point is that, whatever these people say on YT, FB or anywhere else online, it's obviously a way for them to monetize from their contents. Even those who speak negatively about dating in the Philippines, create contents that is compelling enough to grant a few thousand views (or more). Anything today that is disruptive of yesterday's "thing" is bound to attract a curious and idle audience.

I think most of the men who watch those videos daydream about finding a pretty, sweet and demure Filipina and live the tropical dream with her. These men will probably never even come to the Philippines. If they did, they would soon find out that reality is not as bad as "they won't find anybody to get laid with", but it's not as good as "the place is teeming with young cuties giggling and giving me lusty stares".

The Philippines is a growing economy and it's just normal that those girls in need who would normally throw themselves to foreign man, in the hope of an interesting couple of weeks or the promise of a better life, are fewer and farther apart with every passing year. Look at what happens in Malaysia and Thailand, where the only girls who have sex with mature, mediocre-looking foreigners, are practically only doing it for an immediate money reward.

Like I have been saying, the "arbitrage window" is closing, and fast. Soon enough, even the most destitute, hopeless girl in the farmlands of Bukidnon, Mindanao, will be hooked to TikTok, making petty cash twerking on OnlyFans and dreaming about her K-pop star looking prince.

[yick]

And the world will be far better for it!

[Space Invaders]

True @publicduende. However I don't think that even middle class Filipinas are approachable. In the malls they also look closed and don't acknowledge my existence if I say hi to them. Yes they do often look stuck up. They look like they're better than everyone. They have that arrogant look on their face and body language and aura. I've seen it many times in the malls of angeles city and manila. They definitely don't look open to cold approach by a stranger.

So why do so many people make such bogus videos like this? Furthermore why do they talk about game and social skills? If a woman isn't attracted to you those things aren't going to make any difference. You will still hit a wall. These videos give you the illusion of control that you don't really have. I hate that. It's deceptive and BS. Why is everyone on YouTube so full of BS?

Btw sure they don't need us. but why can't Filipinas seek us for companionship, connection, chemistry, etc rather than financial need only? That's what I don't get. Why can't relationships be about chemistry and love like they show in the movies? How come Filipinas don't act like they do in Filipino romance movies? Lol

That would make you the invisible Chinaman. ALL WOMEN want companionship, connection, chemistry-just not with you. Hence the 90/10 rule, which applies to all aspects of life. Stay in your lane, Winston. Stick to what you know.