Is International Dating For Losers?

[Grunt]

Aint THAT the truth! LOL!

[Winston]

Here's a revealing response I received by email to this topic:

"Excellent commentary Winston - I have something to add; when I was getting ready to go visit Kyrgyzstan to meet my wife, everyone thought I was nuts. On top of that whenever I spoke to American women, any woman, not even anyone that was a potential date, I would get a very cold response. The conversation would turn negative in an instant. I really feel it is a larger slap in the face to women in the US when men start looking elsewhere. So collectively they will turn against anyone who is thinking of doing this. It is almost an instinctual reaction to hearing of a man's intent to look for companionship overseas. Another friend of mine who went to the Ukraine, had a similar experience with his sister and mother. The sister I guess fueled the mother's disdain for what my friend was doing and eventually the mother showed understanding about it. But it does seem to be universal with american women that if you start to have a conversation about leaving the United States to fin
d a bride, the conversation will get very chilly. I am not sure what would happen if you told them that you were just going to get laid and that sex was better overseas. I would go one step further in saying that most women in America (this actually may be universal with women everywhere) want to be rich or "taken care of" but have a mindset of mediocrity. I also think that another variable that enters into this discussion is the "puritanical" attitude here in America. This in itself is a double edged sword that is used when it is convenient. Women tend to put up the puritanical facade but really act out in the opposite manner. To be fair, men have their issues too with insecurity (probably caused by being put down by women) and don't always behave with the utmost humility, admitting to their human frailties."

[Winston]

I also think that, one reason why American women tend to view guys that go abroad to get women as "losers" is because if they didn't then they've have to admit that these guys go overseas cause American women suck. And since they don't want to take the blame, they'd rather pin it on the guy and call him a loser instead. That makes sense.

[momopi]

It's a matter of sexual competition. You only welcome additional competition if it favored you, not the other way around.

During WW2, American servicemen brought home some 300,000+ war brides, mostly from Europe. This caused a lot of resentments from the locals:
http://www.nzhistory.net.nz/war/us-forc ... kiwi-girls

Now imagine if tens of thousands of good looking, wealthy men descended on Angles city, raising the local girl's expectations. How would you react to such a development?

[Shokkers]

There's a slight cracKK in the mirror that's being held up here...

Winston claims that he--and a lot of other guys--are socially 'dissed' by American women because he's not caucasian, or not wildly rich, or not tall, or movie-star handsome, or muscular, or wildly charismatic, or whatever.

However, there's a guy who MAY prove that all false.

Ross Jeffries, who'm I've just noticed, looks like a GARGOYLE. Or Dr. Smith from the "Lost In Space" TV show, Or just a thin, older white guy with a bad haircut and a scary face. If I was a chick, I'd bail in a heartbeat.

BUT he DOES get women, in droves. I imagine it's because they were apprehensive of his looks, that he had to come up with some sort of quasi-hypnotic attraction routine.

I will neither endorse nor condemn his methods (Google his name if you want to learn more). But once you see this guy, you ought to think, "Damn, I ought to get more chicks than THIS guy, by DEFAULT..."

Best, KK

[Winston]

Yeah but Shokkers, how wealthy is Ross Jeffries? Remember a man doesn't need to have looks if he has status.

To most white girls, an Asian man is out of the question, even if he has looks or status. They just cannot fathom dating an Asian man. It's out of the realm of their reality and they do not even want to consider it.

[momopi]

Winston claims that he--and a lot of other guys--are socially 'dissed' by American women because he's not Caucasian, or not wildly rich, or not tall, or movie-star handsome, or muscular, or wildly charismatic, or whatever.

However, there's a guy who MAY prove that all false.

There are always exceptions, like the right and left side of a curve.

My cousin is Asian (Chinese/Taiwanese), short, and wears glasses. At age 14 he bagged a 17 year old blond GF for 6 months. They lived in San Francisco and meet at a music camp. People in SF, and musicians in general (he's a violin player) are more open and have different mindset.

My first couple of GF's in college were all white, I didn't have my first Asian GF until I was 21-22. But I'm 6' tall and not reflective of average Asian height. Girls in college are also more open to experimenting. After graduation, it's harder to get a date with them until they hit 30's, then they turn kinda desperate.

Check the web for "The Asian Playboy", he seems to play the dating field well:
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/200 ... -list.html

To most white girls, an Asian man is out of the question, even if he has looks or status. They just cannot fathom dating an Asian man. It's out of the realm of their reality and they do not even want to consider it.

Statistical tests from speed dating events have shown that white women are 65% less likely to date Asian men versus white men. This means the other 35% will consider it, assuming the Asian man's sexual market value is high enough. The 65%-35% ratio may seem bad until you realize the US population ratio between Asians to non-Hispanic whites are 5%-66%.
ounterpart.

Statistically, an average height Chinese young adult male (5'8" *) will probably have better luck in the American dating market, than a 5 feet tall white male.

* Source: http://www.alvanon.com/news/CHINASCAN.pdf

The 5 feet tall male will probably blame American women for his misfortune. But the women didn't make the average male height 5'9" in the US, the guys did. Yet the shorter man blames the women and not taller men, because it's the women that rejects him, not the men.

How the short male deals with the situation, will determine if he ends up a loser or not. He could work hard to elevate his socio-economic status, go to Cambodia and get a beautiful 5' tall wife, or stay in his parent's basement and blogs about how much he hates the world.

[Winston]

Hi all,
I've taken my rant in the first post of this thread about "am I a loser? is this site for losers?" and put it as part two of my home page, here:

http://www.happierabroad.com/alternative.php

In doing so, I've added a few more paragraphs which wasn't in the original version posted here. Here are the additional paragraphs:

"And besides, even if you did "work" on yourself and became a great guy with wonderful qualities and a lot to offer, so what? If you're not a woman's type in America, and hence not desirable, then all you will get is a pat on the back from women and be told, "Congratulations. You have many great qualities and a lot to offer. I'm sure you'll be a good catch to the right woman someday." What's that going to get you?! Rather than wait years (or never) for "someone" who finally appreciates me, I'd rather be DESIRABLE to women in general, so that I have CHOICES anytime I want, including NOW! And in some foreign countries where the factors are in my favor, I have just that. Life is too short, so why wait years or never?!"

"But let's be honest here. How many dateless people do you know who turned their dating life around by simply 1) Working on themselves and 2) Joining clubs and activities? Virtually nobody right? So as you can see, this advice is simply worthless."

W: In addition, I've posted the letter to Paul from that Ontario lady that was posted here, as an example to illustrate a point. And I've posted a great analysis, as usual, from momopi as well. Have a look at the link to the second part of the home page above.

[Shokkers]

Ross Jeffries appears to be 50, perhaps mid to late 40s.
I don't know how wealthy he is. He claims to have been promoting his techniques from the early stages of the internet, so that would make him pretty well off.

But even if he is rich, he doesn't display it. In the videos of his seminars, he's normally wearing a t-shirt & jeans. He also has graying hair and is quite thin.

I think Jeffries, and DeAngelo, and others, HAD to come up with techniques, and they did it like Edison, trying one thing, then the next thing, etc.

So there may very well be a 'process' that works on a lot of women. I've succeeded without one, but it's cool to know someone's laid the groundwork for people who only want to score.

[momopi]

"But let's be honest here. How many dateless people do you know who turned their dating life around by simply 1) Working on themselves and 2) Joining clubs and activities? Virtually nobody right? So as you can see, this advice is simply worthless."[/b]

Yes and no. Using earlier body height example, a 5'9" tall male who has trouble getting a date, is not the same as a 5' tall male who has trouble getting dates. Self-improvement and expanding your social circle works for the majority of men, but not so well for a smaller minority.

There's a right way and wrong way to do things. Self improvement is kind of like women getting implants and plastic surgery. If done properly, all the guys will stare at her boobs. But if the surgery was botched, then you end up looking like Tara Reid's stomach in 2005.

For a man, learning cheesy pick up lines from some e-book will make you look like spoiled cottage cheese. But if you cleaned up, get a hair cut, dress better, get an education/career, worked out, you'd increase your sexual market value here and abroad. Joining social groups and mixers will also improve your networking and meet women. I belong to several local Asian American working professional organizations and people hook up there all the time at their mixers, including myself. Been to several weddings this year already.

It's easy to tell people that they have better prospects overseas, but harder to do whe the person cannot afford the airfare or relocation. Improving your career and finances would enable you to do so. Having higher sexual market value, would also open doors to girls in higher socio-economic bracket overseas. It's up to you to decide if you want to pursue and marry a girl from poor family, or a doctor.

[ladislav]

Am I a loser? Are all the fans of my site losers?

Let's be polite and say most of your ideas and expectations are unrealistic.

If you want to date a different hot model everyday and have instant sex with them then you need to have something these models want, namely money or glossy expensive material goods.

Of course there are exceptions but the probability will be very low that a a hot young model will fall in love with you at first sight the way you would for her.

You can work out the maths on whether you lean towards a successful or loser status...

Again, let's think global. A US model will definitely reject Winston. She wants a Beverly Hills corporate attorney or some big a$$ actor. But a Filipina would be model would not reject Winston. Not a model in a place like VN or Laos or Romania. For her, Winston is a boon from heaven.
I am now in touch with a would-be model from Manila. I'm helping her with school a bit and, along the way, with porfolio and things like that. She is drop dead gorgeous, tall and absolutely stunning.

Did you see W's GF? Another model. Gorgeous. So why are we getting those models?

Simple answer: They are not Americans! They are not citizens of a wealthy 1st world super-nation where I am just a nobody ( being an immigrant from a God-forsaken East European sh*thole most Americans have never even heard of).
But I am not a nobody in Manila, and neither is Winston. I am not a nobody in Jakarta. I am not a nobody in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.
Am a ready to sacrifice 10+ years of my life to be a corporate BH attorney and date US models ( and still compete with other BH attorneys for the same model). Do I want to do that? I don't.
Do I want to date models? Yes. But who said if the models are not Americans, I am a loser if I date them?
The would-be Manila model told me- "You are an angel in my life".
Am I loser? Depends on who you ask. The super model I am emailing does not think so. She calls me "a savior". And that is enough for me.

Belive it or not when I was in the Philippines, I have met or heard about quite a few E Euro guys who are now US and Canadian citizens. It was still during the Cold War and they could not go back to their contries.

US women would treat them like dirt. Like hicks. So, they said F***K it!!! They went to the Philippines. Now they have GFs and wives that would put BH models to shame. Girls so beautiful, you would need to wear shades to look at them so you would not be blinded. They did not think that a Polish guy was a hick and a nobody. They did not think that a Romanian Canadian was to be treated like dirt.

Are these guys losers? I think they are winners and smart to boot.

But a BH attorney who is now being sued by his ex model wife because she ran off with an NFL player is a loser for sure.

[jamesbond]

Your right ladislav, American women want the cream of the crop because they live in a wealthy country and think they are entitled to a wealthy man! If the girl is hot in America, your damn right she will only date wealthy men (she thinks it's her god-given right to have a wealthy man). I have even noticed some average looking girls in the US want to date wealthy men. Hell, even some fat chicks thinks they can land a wealthy husband! I have a news flash for them, only beauty queens get to marry guys who are millionaires!

The media does us men no favors when it portrays shows (like reality tv shows) were men are fawning all over women. When women see tv shows were men are fighting over other men just to get a date with a woman, the woman says to herself, "wow, I really am the prize." Too many women in America have a "princess complex" were they truely believe they deserve the most handsome, wealthy man they can find! I can understand this if the chick is hot, but if she is a plain jane and still wants to date millionaires, she needs a reality check!

[Winston]

So true James Bond. But then you gotta wonder, how come some good looking male stars in the US have plain jane wives or girlfriends? For example, Mel Gibson's wife is really plain. I heard that Jay Leno's wife is plain too, but I haven't seen her. He never brings her on his show for some reason. Not even Bill Clinton has a hot wife.

What's the explanation for that?

And not to brag, but when me and Ladislav were together in person, we both agreed that some of the "models" we've dated here were hotter than the public girlfriends of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt

[Ice-Inc]

Oh and Ice-Inc,

Sorry to burst your bubble but yes, models here DO fall in love with me. I was in disbelief about it at first too, and still am, but it has happened on several occassions. I am talking about girls who are 9's and 10's in my book and look like they belong in magazines, tall skinny, perfect figure, etc. And believe me, I definitely can tell when a girl really likes me vs. one who's just pretending. There are many signs that tell you. But I won't get into too many details on this one since I'm trying to keep my private life anonymous due to problems that my big mouth has caused me in the past. I only share my secrets now with the closest of my real life friends.

Winston, I have no bubble for you to burst.

You are the one who asked for opinions on if you were a loser ?? ...!!

You say hot Filipine model type girls on Phillipines national territory will accept you. However you were complaining about being rejected and dateless in the USA.

So I have a two questions for you...

1. If you moved these hot Filipine model type girls to the USA, then are you 100% sure these very same hot Filipine model type girls will accept you in the USA...?

2. If your answer is "Yes" then would there be need for you to travel to the Phillipines...??

[Ice-Inc]

Oh and Ice-Inc,

Sorry to burst your bubble but yes, models here DO fall in love with me. I was in disbelief about it at first too, and still am, but it has happened on several occassions. I am talking about girls who are 9's and 10's in my book and look like they belong in magazines, tall skinny, perfect figure, etc. And believe me, I definitely can tell when a girl really likes me vs. one who's just pretending. There are many signs that tell you. But I won't get into too many details on this one since I'm trying to keep my private life anonymous due to problems that my big mouth has caused me in the past. I only share my secrets now with the closest of my real life friends.

Winston, I have no bubble for you to burst.

You are the one who asked for opinions on if you were a loser ?? ...!!

You say hot Filipine model type girls on Phillipines national territory will accept you. However you were complaining about being rejected and dateless in the USA.

So I have a two questions for you...

1. If you moved these hot Filipine model type girls to the USA, then are you 100% sure these very same hot Filipine model type girls will accept you in the USA...?

2. If your answer is "Yes" then would there be need for you to travel to the Phillipines...??