Dear Winston, You Need To Make Some Big Changes In Your Life

[celery2010]

Dear Winston,



Here is some cold honest advice for you. You always talk about wanting to hear the truth, with no PC bull.

Well, here it is.

Your life sounds like a mess. You are 40 years old, with no discernible career, friends, life or extensive hobbies. And you're not very happy.
Your life has no meaning or direction. You're at a crossroads. IT'S TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE. You sound very frustrated and confused in your life.

I'm going to make a suggestion and yes, it's BIG.......

I recommend that you that you turn to Christianity. Now please wait before you dismiss the idea and read why.


1. First of all, you'll find a community of people who WANT to help you. You'll make male and female friends. They'll be cute girls there. BUT, what you need in your life right now is hope and meaning. This isn't going to sound nice, but you lead a sinful life.

You really need to take a good look at yourself, your life and what you hope to accomplish in your life. Is your goal in life just to do nothing in Taiwan and chase women that you can never get for the rest of your life? Where do you see yourself in 20 years? As it stands you're on a path to destruction. You need to expand or change your business plan and make some real money. You're 40. Half your life is over. You've had a good run, but you now need a lot of concentrated introspection on how to proceed in your life, and not another desperate rant.


Rebuild your life, find a proper career or start a proper business, find some friends and if you're a good person, a special lady will be just waiting to meet you. Go get some help with your life, it sounds like you need it.

At the present time, you're just running in circles and stagnating.



2. Honestly, IMHO, there seem to be deeper issues in your life that just changing your location will not necessarily change. Even if you DO move to China and find that it is easy to meet women and you even find the perfect woman to settle down with, then what? These are the issues that you need to think about.



3. Again you need to take the next big step in your life. I actually recommend that you try to get involved with business or trade in China. You're a bright guy. OR take your happier abroad business to the next level by starting some type of hotel, translating business, tourism biz, dating website, strip club, i don't know, you name it. Believe me, i know from experience. If you own your own business in Asia, the women will be lining up to get with you.


Secondly,

4. You really need to take a look at yourself from a physical, personality and health perspective. You're old enough now that you should know how to dress, be in good shape and interact with women.

5. IMHO, you need improvement in these areas. You never developed them while growing up, and that's OK. It's not too late to make the necessary changes and come back stronger.

IMHO, you've stopped developing as a person, as opposed to others.


Milestones that you've missed:

1. Maturity, experience and responsibility from working at a high level in the work world

2. Changes that occur when your income increases to a much higher level

3. Understanding and dealing with women that comes from experience with women or long term relationship

Women can sense this, and it does play a part in why other guys are probably finding success while you are left behind.


You need to stop focusing on stuff like Steve Hoca and START figuring out how to create happiness in your life and meet your dream woman. As an analogy, in other words, you need to stop to focusing all your efforts on how to save money and divert that energy in how to EARN money.

And is your only current goal in life just to meet your dream woman? And is that what would make you happy in life? Do you not have any other hopes or goals or have ways to find meaning in your life?

And i believe that the people right HERE on this forum can help you out with this, but you don't even seem to want to help yourself. That's sad. There's a lot of Asian guys who strive by sheer EFFORT, and have been able to overcome HUGE OBSTACLES. Will you be one of them?


And if you have questions about this, ask away right here. You're not going to weasel out of this by saying there's no source out there to help you.






Travel related recommendations:

Return to America. Take a vacation somewhere. Or India, Latin America or maybe the Middle East
Or stay in East Asia and take a job as an ESL teacher.

It sounds like you are burnt out on Asia in general. It's obvious that you are homesick. You sound just as bad as some of the homesick ESL teachers who have sent too much time in Asia. When things didn't work out in Russia, you went to the PI. And when they didn't work out in PI, you moved on to Taiwan.

1. Return to America, if only temporarily. Remember that America is a big place. You life story indicates that you've spent your entire life in only the SF Bay and Seattle areas. You may be pleasantly surprised how different life is in Houston, New York, St. Louis or Miami. Give yourself some time to recover and then regroup and plan the next stage of your life.

2. Take a vacation somewhere.


3. Latin America- if you can take the time to learn Spanish (or practice if you took a little bit in school), Latin America is a good option for a "free- thinking, non conformist Asian" such as yourself. BTW, women are very easy in the Dominican Republic and Peru. Colombia has very beautiful women and Argentina is also a beautiful, interesting and stable place to visit.

4. India-- I actually highly recommend that you visit India. The people there will be very happy to meet you (and i am speaking from personal experience-- was there last winter). Very beautiful girls will be happy to hang out and spend time with you. You will have a similar experience to what you experienced in Russia-- people will be very open and happy to speak with you as a foreigner.

There is also much to see and of course India is a fascinating place to visit. You can also find many people to discuss philosophy, religion, etc. And as a bonus, there are a ton of Russian girls in Goa, and a ton of European girls that you can meet while traveling. It is also dirt cheap to live and travel in, with one caveat, that it is not easy to get Indian women into bed.

5. The last option, if you stay in Asia, IMHO i actually recommend for you to go to Japan or Korea. I think that you'll find more interesting cultural trends and a greater sense of openness and stuff happening in these 2 countries than in Taiwan. The other possibility is to go to Beijing (a more intellectual city than Shanghai) or goto Western China (Yunnan, NW China or Sichuan) or alternatively i have heard good things about Fenghuang, and Guangzhou is not a bad place either. I highly recommend you go there for the experience first and girls second.
I also think this will be better than the SE Asian mainland where you would simply just continue your current lifestyle in the same fashion.



Finally, if you decide to stay in Asia, i actually recommend that you try working as an ESL teacher. Why?

1. You'll earn some extra money

2. It will get you out of the house

3. It's a great way to meet women,some of whom may take a liking to you.

4. As the authority figure, you may be looked at positively by some women.

5. People will have all sorts of incentives to try to spend time with you.

6.. Gets you involved in the community so you have something interesting to write about, instead of incessant complaining.

[Ghost]

.

[djfourmoney]

I don't see Christians out there doing what they should be doing. They will follow John Hagee and O'Steen (or the Black Church) off a cliff.

IMHO you don't need religion at all. You need a support network which is exactly what you put forward as solving his personal issues.

Only Winston can solve his problems when he's ready to actually solve them.

[lavezzi]

i strongly disadvocate a life of materialsm. a materialist not nessisarily being a pursuer of material items, but rather a person who operates primarily from a position of self-vanity. winston certainly fits into this catagory.

his big problem is that he has identified with the "winston wu, revolutionary free thinker and founder of happier abroad" self image. he sees himself as being how others see him, this was probably always an issue for him but the creation of his website which he is the focus of has really exasperated it, robbing him of the chance of ever finding independent self-esteem, which is what he really needs.

he has no interest in finding a dream woman. he used to, however since his ego has inflated so has his appetite for females. wants to fornicate with young women when he is in no position at all to be able to do so (outside of AC). some people have obsessions with that which they cant have, its a form of self torture and winston definitely suffers from this.

winston needs to realize and admit to himself that he is spiritually stagnant. i would reccomend that he take a trip to india and go to a spiritual retreat. ive heard the majority of people who do this come back completely transformed. who knows then maybe he will come to his senses about his son..

[Banano]

How about Landmark forum course for quick transformation,
Andrew N says it worked for him
Landmark deals with people like Winston who had difficult childhhod,
he could tell em about probs in dating an how he felt like a black sheep in US for most of his life..

just a suggestion

[Bane]

While I don't advocate joining up with Christianity, (religion in all its forms sucks IMO) I do agree with the rest of the OP's remarks. Winston needs to take a hard look at his life, and possibly face some inconvenient truths about himself. The fact that Winston has moved from Russia, to PI, to Taiwan, after facing difficulties in each country, makes me think that the problem is not the countries or places that he is living in, but instead, the problem is him. If Russia and the PI are so great, why did he leave? On the flip side, why is he staying in Taiwan when it is quite clear that his life there is miserable?

Winston, the fact is that YOU are the common denominator in all of these messed up situations you find yourself in. At age 40, I agree that the time has come to take a long hard look in the mirror and at least attempt to consider the possibility that you are the reason why your life is not as good as you might want it to be.

While I completely agree with the goals of this website and community, and while I completely agree that women from other countries are GENERALLY friendlier, more open, and more approachable than women in the west, this is not the real point. Truly being Happier Abroad requires us to take a look at both sides of the coin: To work on improving our location, AND to work on improving ourselves. While I admit that I don't know everything about you, Winston, I do feel I know enough to say that you have done a lot of work with the former, but not nearly enough with the latter.

[celery2010]

.


I recommended Christianity specifically for Winston. Although i'll be honest and say that I believe years and years of man-whoring in SE Asia isn't good for anyone's well being.



Winston has numerous issues in his life, ranging from


1. selfishness
2. lack of ambition
3. inability to listen to others
4. a lack of meaning in his life
5. a difficult past

In other words, there's a big gaping hole in his life. He's very lost and disoriented right now.


The TRUTH is that, IMHO, although cruel, is that Winston may have difficulty getting women as compared to most other men. Thus, in his specific case, i believe that if he becomes a good, responsible person, that he'll find a better woman than he would otherwise through his own efforts.


.

[Maker55]

I think a good SPIRITUAL PROGRAM that involves mediation would be good for Winston. It doesn't have to be Christianity but some kind of spiritual program that can help him find his path and inner peace.

I made a post in the Book Forum on this website titled "The Total Law Of Attraction". You attract all good or bad things in your life.

Christianity has become very feminized in America.

Like most people in the world, he doesn't think big and doesn't take massive action to achieve greater things.

Winston Wu could have gotten much further in his career in general.

Winston is extremely talented. He made great strives in the world of film and television when he was in America.

Winston could have been a famous film director if he had wanted to.

Winston just gave up I think.

When life pushes most people around, most people DON'T push back.

Only by fighting when life pushes you around will you be able to live to your potential.

The mind is the key. The state of your life originates with your THINKING PATTERNS.

Your THOUGHTS determine your environment and state of life. I'm talking about your subconscious mind.

Winston will have to figure it out and find solutions.

I don't think he necessarily should come back to America but getting involved in some kind of educational institution whether it be China, Europe or America would be good.

Happiness starts on the inside and no amount of women will make you happy unless you're already happy.

Your mind is the key.

Until you get your mind right, you will continue to be miserable.

[S_Parc]

that I believe years and years of man-whoring in SE Asia isn't good for anyone's well being.

Well, when I become a millionaire (& get to log in many years of SEA b@inking), I'll give you my assessment if you're correct

All and all, my afar observation of Winston is that he has the same issues as everyone else in in the globe but doesn't have the ability to compartmentalize them into ensembles. His career problems spill into his relationships with others [ friends or girlfriends ], and vice versa. There's a net averaging out of all his issues into a singular platform of underachievement.

So while you may find a lot of guys in America, with miserable marriages a/o interpersonal relationships but they may be also top sales 'Rainmakers', highly billable Patent Attorneys, IT or MC consultants, or simply 'A/A-' students [ who may later get into medical school ]. Thus, they've successfully barricaded their vocation from the misery of relationships in America.

I believe that the answer lies in compartmentalization, not in joining a church (nor in channeling spirit guides). In other words, find one activity, whether it be Indonesian Martial Arts, Bodybuilding, Jazz guitar, or whatever. Practice it daily until one achieves some level of competency, and then, continue doing it until one can call himself a master of sorts. Then afterwards, he can decide if he wants to start afresh in America or somewhere else.

[Renata]

religion is the most evil thing out there... I swear! and celery2010 couldn't you have just sent the man a private message?

[Banano]

religion is the most evil thing out there... I swear! and celery2010 couldn't you have just sent the man a private message?

If christianity was as strong in western world as it used to be there would be no issues with women, everyone gets one,
without any belief you become lost,


Another example would be mulsim countries, no gays, no drugs, no alcohol, no feminism, women do waht they are suppossed to be doing and are horny., women dont walk around like a hoes, man can have many wifes-legaly!!!

[Maker55]

that I believe years and years of man-whoring in SE Asia isn't good for anyone's well being.

Well, when I become a millionaire (& get to log in many years of SEA b@inking), I'll give you my assessment if you're correct

All and all, my afar observation of Winston is that he has the same issues as everyone else in in the globe but doesn't have the ability to compartmentalize them into ensembles. His career problems spill into his relationships with others [ friends or girlfriends ], and vice versa. There's a net averaging out of all his issues into a singular platform of underachievement.

So while you may find a lot of guys in America, with miserable marriages a/o interpersonal relationships but they may be also top sales 'Rainmakers', highly billable Patent Attorneys, IT or MC consultants, or simply 'A/A-' students [ who may later get into medical school ]. Thus, they've successfully barricaded their vocation from the misery of relationships in America.

I believe that the answer lies in compartmentalization, not in joining a church (nor in channeling spirit guides). In other words, find one activity, whether it be Indonesian Martial Arts, Bodybuilding, Jazz guitar, or whatever. Practice it daily until one achieves some level of competency, and then, continue doing it until one can call himself a master of sorts. Then afterwards, he can decide if he wants to start afresh in America or somewhere else.

Dude, read Winston's resume. It's somewhere on the homepage.

I'm not qualified to solve anyone's problems but before Winston left America, he appeared on television and in commercials.

Winston was a pretty good actor in television and theatre and he enjoyed it. Why could he not focus on that?

Winston is too lazy and has too little confidence to be ambitious about anything.

[S_Parc]

Winston was a pretty good actor in television and theatre and he enjoyed it. Why could he not focus on that?

Winston is too lazy and has too little confidence to be ambitious about anything.

All right, well there you have it, a place to start.

[Maker55]

^^^
Exactly.

Winston could be directing and writing his own independent films.

I write screenplays myself and he has more of a film background than I do.

Then he could contact film distribution companies or sell his film to a television network.

He could even do a documentary on isolation, since he knows about this well.

There are many asian men who are well renowned film directors.

Once again, only he knows what he wants and my ideas are only suggestions.

[Rock]

that I believe years and years of man-whoring in SE Asia isn't good for anyone's well being.

Well, when I become a millionaire (& get to log in many years of SEA b@inking), I'll give you my assessment if you're correct

All and all, my afar observation of Winston is that he has the same issues as everyone else in in the globe but doesn't have the ability to compartmentalize them into ensembles. His career problems spill into his relationships with others [ friends or girlfriends ], and vice versa. There's a net averaging out of all his issues into a singular platform of underachievement.

So while you may find a lot of guys in America, with miserable marriages a/o interpersonal relationships but they may be also top sales 'Rainmakers', highly billable Patent Attorneys, IT or MC consultants, or simply 'A/A-' students [ who may later get into medical school ]. Thus, they've successfully barricaded their vocation from the misery of relationships in America.

I believe that the answer lies in compartmentalization, not in joining a church (nor in channeling spirit guides). In other words, find one activity, whether it be Indonesian Martial Arts, Bodybuilding, Jazz guitar, or whatever. Practice it daily until one achieves some level of competency, and then, continue doing it until one can call himself a master of sorts. Then afterwards, he can decide if he wants to start afresh in America or somewhere else.

Dude, read Winston's resume. It's somewhere on the homepage.

I'm not qualified to solve anyone's problems but before Winston left America, he appeared on television and in commercials.

Winston was a pretty good actor in television and theatre and he enjoyed it. Why could he not focus on that?

Winston is too lazy and has too little confidence to be ambitious about anything.

I'm pretty sure he was just an extra who appeared on 1 or 2 backgrounds. Anyone can do that. Heck, if u like acting, there are lots of parts available to white and black foreigners in commercials, TV shows, and even movies sometimes in places like Taiwan, Thailand, and China. It's not very difficult to get in on some of those opportunities, especially if you have local language skills.