How to deal with down-on-their-luck relatives?

zacb · Post by **zacb** » March 7th, 2013, 7:46 pm

Right now I am trying to get on my feet and trying to get the ball on the road in terms of going abroad. But there is one thing that bothers me. My mother is struggling financially and she found work, but due to stress she can't go through with it (since she gets stressed about all the regulations related to her job). And I understand how all the regulations and having to remember them could get to her at her age (50's). And she has a hard time learning, so that does not help matters. But that is not the problem. My major problem is her penchant for "investing". She thinks that her stock is going from 0.01 cent to 50 dollars a share. Not to be rude, but I don't think that is going to happen. But she is believing that is how she will fund herself. Now, I am all for investing, but this is reckless, and I tried educating her, but she said she can't remember all of it. And she believes it because she prayed about it (which is between her and God, I will not criticize someones relationship with God), which is also fine, but what really got her into investing into it was a bunch of people on facebook saying how great it was (Isn't that kind of illegal ? ), and she is falling for it, just because they said the feel that they should too. I hate being critical of my mother, and I have tried to help her by offering to teach her how to do stuff online, as well as investing, but she does not want to learn since she has brain drain. This is kind of distressing me, since my dad died, and now I am here trying to help, but I can't do much. Any thoughts?

xiongmao · Post by **xiongmao** » March 7th, 2013, 8:00 pm

Your life or hers, you decide.

zacb · Post by **zacb** » March 7th, 2013, 8:11 pm

Yeah. I just don't want to be a dick. It is not so much that I won't go abroad because of this, it is just that I am kind of shocked by the situation. Normally when my dad was alive, she was a woman to spend within her means. She still is , but she can sense a bad idea from a good idea. She is the type of person that there is no difference between a lottery ticket and a stock. I am just sad for her. But I think you are right xiongmao.

Cornfed · Post by **Cornfed** » March 7th, 2013, 8:13 pm

Perhaps you could give her less retarded investment advice that has the backing of some authority such as this:
https://retirementplans.vanguard.com/VG ... nalFinance

The thing to remember is that she is a woman, so she lacks the capacity to implement a complicated strategy based on abstract principles or be swayed by reason and common sense. Rather she needs to just follow rules based on the words of men she perceives as being authoritative sources of wisdom.

As to her trouble following regulations, I would have thought that one of the few advantages women had over men was their memory for intrinsically irrelevant details and their ability to follow mindless BS regulations without wanting to run amok. Strange.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » March 7th, 2013, 8:27 pm

Cornfed wrote:
The thing to remember is that she is a woman, so she lacks the capacity .......she needs to just follow rules based on the words of men she perceives as being authoritative sources of wisdom.

As to her trouble following regulations, I would have thought that one of the few advantages women had over men was their memory for intrinsically irrelevant details and their ability to follow mindless BS regulations without wanting to run amok. Strange.

+1

ZacB,

With your dad gone you are the head of he family, ADHD or no ADHD, and whether people realize it or not. Go your way, bring your mom along when you can. If you make yourself successful, you will make her happy.

If you can give your mom a little project to obsess about, or give her 4-times-a-day updates on what you're doing, that may help. Women need a story.

No more research. Pick one thing, and do.

zacb · Post by **zacb** » March 7th, 2013, 8:48 pm

I was able to help her figure it out. I suggested a job a tad less stressful, and it seems like she is keen on it. I just don't want her to be destitute. As for me, I am already working on myself ( almost finished with a new kindle book). Right now I am earning some off kindle, but I would like to make it my prime resource so I can travel abroad. In addition, I am attending college, and I am applying for a position at a company. So I am waisting no time on that front. I am really keen on the kindle, sinc eI have had a nice success on it, so I will try to put some more books on there. Thanks everyone.

buddy77 · Post by **buddy77** » March 8th, 2013, 2:16 am

Zacb: can you tell us the title of your book?

zacb · Post by **zacb** » March 8th, 2013, 4:49 am

Sure. It is called Can You Just Leave Me Alone? The Facts About Libertarianism. Is is a basic synopsis of what libertarians believe. I also have a few others in the pipeline. All of them will be on kindle,

abcdavid01 · Post by **abcdavid01** » March 8th, 2013, 9:45 am

that's a great title.

zacb · Post by **zacb** » March 8th, 2013, 10:15 am

Thanks. It is kind of funny how I came to start writing it. I was focusing on another idea, and as I started writing, I figured that the material would be better suite dfor this.

momopi · Post by **momopi** » March 8th, 2013, 10:46 am

zacb wrote:Right now I am trying to get on my feet and trying to get the ball on the road in terms of going abroad. But there is one thing that bothers me. My mother is struggling financially and she found work, but due to stress she can't go through with it (since she gets stressed about all the regulations related to her job). And I understand how all the regulations and having to remember them could get to her at her age (50's). And she has a hard time learning, so that does not help matters. But that is not the problem. My major problem is her penchant for "investing". She thinks that her stock is going from 0.01 cent to 50 dollars a share. Not to be rude, but I don't think that is going to happen. But she is believing that is how she will fund herself. Now, I am all for investing, but this is reckless, and I tried educating her, but she said she can't remember all of it. And she believes it because she prayed about it (which is between her and God, I will not criticize someones relationship with God), which is also fine, but what really got her into investing into it was a bunch of people on facebook saying how great it was (Isn't that kind of illegal ? ), and she is falling for it, just because they said the feel that they should too. I hate being critical of my mother, and I have tried to help her by offering to teach her how to do stuff online, as well as investing, but she does not want to learn since she has brain drain. This is kind of distressing me, since my dad died, and now I am here trying to help, but I can't do much. Any thoughts?

If she is incapable of managing her own finances, take her to a financial adviser and pay someone else to do it for her.

As for her making investment decisions based on prayer, point her to um, Matthew 6:24.

zacb · Post by **zacb** » March 8th, 2013, 10:56 am

Thanks.

Teal Lantern · Post by **Teal Lantern** » March 8th, 2013, 12:16 pm

zacb wrote:Sure. It is called Can You Just Leave Me Alone? The Facts About Libertarianism. Is is a basic synopsis of what libertarians believe. I also have a few others in the pipeline. All of them will be on kindle,

Sounds like a story title Chris Duane would come up with.

http://dont-tread-on.me/

How to deal with down-on-their-luck relatives?

How to deal with down-on-their-luck relatives?

Title of book?

Re: How to deal with down on luck relatives?