I'm at a strange and difficult point right now

Ghost · Post by **Ghost** » October 3rd, 2013, 4:08 am

-----

Cornfed · Post by **Cornfed** » October 3rd, 2013, 4:57 am

Cheer up, you sad bastard! Sure times are bad, but they shall pass. Guys like me and you shall make them pass, and make the world a better place.

E Irizarry R&B Singer · October 3rd, 2013, 5:28 am

And you call this a problem? Oh Ghost, I thought I was drop-dead funny.

Start going to w.horehouses there in China; you don't need to learn Mandarin to have fun, buddy: just money is all you need.
#SolutionRemedy

kai1275 · Post by **kai1275** » October 3rd, 2013, 6:12 am

No Offense Ghost, but you are one of the handful of HA guys with "Deep Commitment Issues". I don't have a better phase to call you guys, but you know what I mean. You even call yourself a feckin BETA for crying out loud! You need to be honest to any women you speak with as if they were one of us. Maybe someday you might get super lucky and run into one that is perfect....but then I wonder if you would flake on her too? I dunno. Good luck, wish I had better advice for you.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » October 3rd, 2013, 6:54 am

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
And you call this a problem? Oh Ghost, I thought I was drop-dead funny.

Start going to w.horehouses there in China; you don't need to learn Mandarin to have fun, buddy: just money is all you need.
#SolutionRemedy

I agree.

Even one session will be good for you physically and mentally.

zboy1 · Post by **zboy1** » October 3rd, 2013, 7:04 am

Hey Ghost, cheer up mate! Remember, if China is not your thing...you have the whole of Asia to go to! Although, I agree, Chinese women are very career and work-minded, which annoys me to know-end, so maybe the Philippines will be a better fit for you in the future.

I might be going to the Philippines for a little R&R during Christmas break, so maybe I can have a little fun over there, too.

As for the whorehouses in China thing...actually, China can be a pretty tough place for that, surprisingly, and is pretty expensive as well...Plus, you have the whole anti-foreigner aspect of the P4P business there, and the language barrier on top of that--which can make it hard for people interested in prostitutes to engage in their services, unless you are staying in a hotel with a lot of foreigners, and the hotel caters to hookers and spas and bathhouses...

kai1275 · Post by **kai1275** » October 3rd, 2013, 7:21 am

Question for you Ghost. We know you had problems before leaving the US. Has going abroad helped you? Do you even feel any progress has been made?

zboy1 · Post by **zboy1** » October 3rd, 2013, 7:29 am

kai1275 wrote:Question for you Ghost. We know you had problems before leaving the US. Has going abroad helped you? Do you even feel any progress has been made?

I can't answer for Ghost, but in my case, I am indeed happier in China/Asia than the United States. I guess it's different for everybody...

kai1275 · Post by **kai1275** » October 3rd, 2013, 7:42 am

zboy1 wrote:
kai1275 wrote:Question for you Ghost. We know you had problems before leaving the US. Has going abroad helped you? Do you even feel any progress has been made?
I can't answer for Ghost, but in my case, I am indeed happier in China/Asia than the United States. I guess it's different for everybody...

BTW I sent you a PM. Did you see it?

Ghost · Post by **Ghost** » October 3rd, 2013, 8:03 am

-----

Ghost · Post by **Ghost** » October 3rd, 2013, 8:08 am

-----

deasil875 · Post by **deasil875** » October 3rd, 2013, 8:47 am

Ghost wrote:
zboy1 wrote:Hey Ghost, cheer up mate! Remember, if China is not your thing...you have the whole of Asia to go to! Although, I agree, Chinese women are very career and work-minded, which annoys me to know-end, so maybe the Philippines will be a better fit for you in the future.

I might be going to the Philippines for a little R&R during Christmas break, so maybe I can have a little fun over there, too.

As for the whorehouses in China thing...actually, China can be a pretty tough place for that, surprisingly, and is pretty expensive as well...Plus, you have the whole anti-foreigner aspect of the P4P business there, and the language barrier on top of that--which can make it hard for people interested in hoes to engage in their services, unless you are staying in a hotel with a lot of foreigners, and the hotel caters to hookers and spas and bathhouses...
Yeah, and I will gradually explore Asia. First trip to Philippines coming up after all. China is not a good place to date, though. Flaking is standard fare here. For some weird reason, girls like to approach and give you their numbers, and then never meet up with you. WTF. I'm at the point I want to do p4p, but don't know if it's safe here for that, for a foreigner. China is easy for finding ESL jobs (regardless of qualifications) and getting your foot in the door working abroad. The cost of living is very low so it's absurdly easy to save money. It's a safe city, much warmer and fun socially. It's a definite step up from the States. But I'll have to expand outwards from here. It's a start, and I keep reminding myself of that.

Ghost, my suggestion to you is hit the ground running ASAP to the PI. A good strategy to run in tandem before your departure is to hit up a few attractive filipinas from Cherry Blossoms, and have skype dates with them for several weeks or even months. This way you have "qualified" women already in the pipeline to meet even before you get there. I have found the quality of women there to be consistently better than DIA and OKCupid, although both are good free backups if you can't do the paid online route for money's sake.

In all honesty, just being in the PI is what you need. If you have even the slightest advantage in physical appearance and looks you will get women. I think other HA members here who have the expertise and experience in the PI would agree. You are suffering from the betaizing effects of the toxic American dating and social scene and need to reprogram your mind, spirit and soul in an environment where men are valued and respected for being, well, men. LOL. Falcon recently put together a trip report in the PI and found it to be practically an effortless endeavor to meet women.

kai1275 · Post by **kai1275** » October 3rd, 2013, 10:03 am

I would bet money your "beta" attitude is what is killing you the most. You are not putting in the work required to get what you want. Sounds like endless drifting around. Commitment to a woman begins with commitment to hard work with a strategy involved. It would take hard work to get what you want no matter what it is. If what you want is purely about what is easier or easiest, you will just end up with a sub-par virgin or used up gf, neither of which are worth a quarter quality wise.

You are not new here to HA. You just asked a string of questions I would expect someone like Darcy or one of the new cats to ask. You read my guide or maybe you just skimmed it. I dunno. Of course learning Mandarin helps times 100, but the more layers of your onion that keep coming off, and I think back to something AiB Scott said not too long about Xiongmao and others and their attitude being the reason for their failures.

Like he said before, PI or Thailand won't fix anyone's issues if they have the wrong attitude about it.

Do you suffer from depression? Self esteem issues? What are you willing to work towards fixing?

E Irizarry R&B Singer · October 3rd, 2013, 11:42 am

Ghost wrote:Yes, I'm happier here. It's much better socially. I went from being invisible to being highly visible. (Albeit, this is not always good and is sometimes like being in a freak show.) I haven't done any dating here. Not a lot of English speakers. My Mandarin is still shit. (Once I get out of here, I don't think I'll care about it anymore.) China is not an easy place to date. Is that mostly because of the language barrier? Would being a white foreigner being fluent in Mandarin make it easy? I don't know, and I'm not going to stay here for a decade to find out...

I want to do p4p here, and maybe at some point. But I don't know if that's safe here. Maybe I'll use my second set of vacation days to take a Thailand trip. Does anyone want to have a p4p meetup trip? Haha.

Anyway, I'm just posting this thread as a warning. Get as much shit straight before you leave and don't jump into things too fast. And if you're a beta back home, you will be anywhere. Even though it may be considered a good thing overseas.

I don't have commitment issues. If I could find a nice Filipina girl saving herself marriage, I think I would commit to her no problem. But I can't find that. I need to have my fun first and put all this behind me...for now. Go teach in Thailand and party for a year. Find some place I can just live and have fun and distract myself from everything else.

AAGAINNNNNNNNNNNN: Get to an intermediate level of the language. You have to learn Mandarin. Download a torrent of Pimsleur Mandarin or the feminist Rosetta Stone (but you are not giving her money so she can eat cake!) Mandarin and take your time with it.

If you do that, Cherry Blossoms would be just extra condiments on the food, man. Make StartPage.com your friend, and research the web for free Mandarin webinar sources. I'm saying this with a "DJ IV Money" tone of voice.

If you were to do that, you'd have sleepless in China weekends & you would be freaking out going to the doctor testing yourself for HIV every other week if you were to do that!!

Ghost · Post by **Ghost** » October 3rd, 2013, 11:58 pm

-----