How important is the girl's physical beauty to you?

[Someone]

Do you care a great deal about the physical attractiveness of the women around you? Do you insist on pretty, cute girls, to the exclusion of other factors like personality?

Here's a paradoxical conclusion I've reached based on experience and observation: After around age 30, good-looking, handsome men may actually care less about the physical attractiveness of their dates, compared to unsuccessful or unattractive men; they're probably looking at the whole package, while lower-scale men who have been unsuccessful are focused laser-like on physical features only (or for the most part).

Sound counter-intuitive? Absolutely; you would expect the unsuccessful men to be more flexible, less shallow, and to consider to "the whole package..."

However, consider the evidence: Suppose you have two bachelors in their 30s. One is tall and handsome, the other short and unpopular. In his youth (20s) the handsome guy probably dated different kinds of girls including attractive ones; he hasn't been completely isolated from attractive women. On the other hand, the short unsuccessful guy has always been completely denied access to even remotely attractive women, and to the extent that he's dated at all, it's only been with ugly and rock-bottom-quality women.

Over time, the less good-looking man's consistently bad experiences have sharpened his sensitivity to the physical quality of the women around him, while the handsome man has had a more diverse set of experiences, and lacks this sensitivity. So the handsome man may be more willing to trade a few points on physical beauty in exchange for other things like personality, how family-oriented the woman is, etc., while the less attractive man is focused laser-like on maximizing physical attractiveness in a partner, something he's never had a chance to experience.

[tre]

I see your point and I think it is correct in some cases....but not all obviously.

I have dated women years ago that will likely be the most attractive I will EVER date. They were 10's in physical attraction, but 1's or 2's in character. Personality varies based on what you like IMO.

I am harder on women on what they CAN control, not on what they cannot. For instance, you are either born with a pretty face or not...not going to change that much. However, if you let yourself go...that's on you. Anyone that does that deserves to be discriminated against as far as attraction level. It's a personality flaw IMO to allow yourself to become obese. I am not hypocritical when it comes to women though, I am hard on men too when they don't care enough to be the best that they can be. That is all one can do, after all...

[Winston]

There's truth to that. We want most what we can't have or is just out of reach. Some men are more focused on looks than others. Men also tend to fall in love on physical beauty alone.

[gsjackson]

It's everything, but my taste is very different from most. Supermodels do nothing for me, same with these bleached blonde trophy wives that celebrities in the US like to acquire.

I go for a cute, girl-next door look, with natural hair color and minimal or (preferably) no makeup. (God help me, there are probably more lesbians nowadays who fit the description). I like a wholesome, innocent look. Some of the women to whom I'm very attracted would probably be considered plain by the majority, though some others would probably come in for widespread praise.

I believe -- probably incorrectly -- that if you are in touch with your true desires and not influenced by the culture, the women to whom you are most attracted will have kind of a soul connection with you, and will be attracted to you as well, so long as a lot of cultural garbage doesn't get in the way.

[Maverick]

Do you care a great deal about the physical attractiveness of the women around you? Do you insist on pretty, cute girls, to the exclusion of other factors like personality?

Here's a paradoxical conclusion I've reached based on experience and observation: After around age 30, good-looking, handsome men may actually care less about the physical attractiveness of their dates, compared to unsuccessful or unattractive men; they're probably looking at the whole package, while lower-scale men who have been unsuccessful are focused laser-like on physical features only (or for the most part).

Sound counter-intuitive? Absolutely; you would expect the unsuccessful men to be more flexible, less shallow, and to consider to "the whole package..."

However, consider the evidence: Suppose you have two bachelors in their 30s. One is tall and handsome, the other short and unpopular. In his youth (20s) the handsome guy probably dated different kinds of girls including attractive ones; he hasn't been completely isolated from attractive women. On the other hand, the short unsuccessful guy has always been completely denied access to even remotely attractive women, and to the extent that he's dated at all, it's only been with ugly and rock-bottom-quality women.

Over time, the less good-looking man's consistently bad experiences have sharpened his sensitivity to the physical quality of the women around him, while the handsome man has had a more diverse set of experiences, and lacks this sensitivity. So the handsome man may be more willing to trade a few points on physical beauty in exchange for other things like personality, how family-oriented the woman is, etc., while the less attractive man is focused laser-like on maximizing physical attractiveness in a partner, something he's never had a chance to experience.

On paper, this may make sense. But I haven't seen much of it in real life. From what I've seen, all people (both men and women) will get the best combination of looks, personality, intelligence, etc. that they can get.

[marklambo]

Physical attraction is extremely important to me. That's the first thing I see....after that, she needs to have a decent personality. Ideally I look for both but if she's not attractive, I won't care even if she has a great personality. At the same time, if she's very attractive but I find out how shitty her personality is, I am extremely turned off and move on too. I'm not saying that she has to be a super model. If she's a good well rounded 8+ with a good personality, I'll be ok with that.

I have no interest in being with a successful career minded feminazi......so in my case, all that a woman can ever offer me is her beauty and personality.

[Teal Lantern]

Do you care a great deal about the physical attractiveness of the women around you? Do you insist on pretty, cute girls, to the exclusion of other factors like personality?

While in the USSA, I care that her personality is pleasant enough to get my order and change correct.
Physically, I care that her eyes point enough in the same direction that if I look at her face I don't have to work at not staring at the googly one.

[Hero]

Physical attraction is extremely important to me. That's the first thing I see....after that, she needs to have a decent personality. Ideally I look for both but if she's not attractive, I won't care even if she has a great personality. At the same time, if she's very attractive but I find out how shitty her personality is, I am extremely turned off and move on too. I'm not saying that she has to be a super model. If she's a good well rounded 8+ with a good personality, I'll be ok with that.

I have no interest in being with a successful career minded feminazi......so in my case, all that a woman can ever offer me is her beauty and personality.

Same here. In addition, I'll choose looks over intelligence any day, though she can't be a complete idiot no matter how hot she is.

[Devil Dog]

Physical beauty is important. In a short term relationship it is most important, and more beautiful makes the girl more desirable.

I decided a long time ago that in a LTR beauty is a Pass/Fail thing. She is either attractive enough or she isn't, and it is just one of many factors to consider. I have been in relationships with women who were very attractive but not interesting for a long period of time.

[marklambo]

Physical attraction is extremely important to me. That's the first thing I see....after that, she needs to have a decent personality. Ideally I look for both but if she's not attractive, I won't care even if she has a great personality. At the same time, if she's very attractive but I find out how shitty her personality is, I am extremely turned off and move on too. I'm not saying that she has to be a super model. If she's a good well rounded 8+ with a good personality, I'll be ok with that.

I have no interest in being with a successful career minded feminazi......so in my case, all that a woman can ever offer me is her beauty and personality.

Same here. In addition, I'll choose looks over intelligence any day, though she can't be a complete idiot no matter how hot she is.

Yea for sure. If a girl is a complete dits...that's a huge turn off too. She doesn't have to have a master's degree or anything. As long as she has common sense and attractive, that's fine. The more "educated" she is, the more she feels she is of superior value to you....even when she isn't. Just not worth the hassle.

[djfourmoney]

Why does appearance need to be exclusionary? Stop being lazy and settling, men do that way too often.

You can find a beautiful woman (not just to you) with her head screwed on correctly.

It just takes effort.

[Z Man]

For me, I see it this way:

Generally, men are wired to seek out high quality genetics in their potential offspring (or has high as they can find, to spread her legs). We often hear that women are programmed to seek out a mate with great genetics to pass on to their child, but I believe men do this too, even if some of us in conscience do not want any children, our genes are programmed to reproduce themselves inspite of us, hence our drive to seek out sex with attractive females.

If a man is attractive to women early on, he will likely have many women to choose from, so he can afford to be selective, and experience many different women, based not just on looks, but also personality, loyalty, sex performance, etc. He is in no hurry to settle down with one woman, so he has time to study her personality and so forth because he feels he can get another beauty any time he is ready, based on his past experience.

While the unsuccessful man may still be shooting for the stars in his desire to find the most beautiful (looks) girl he can be in a relationship ( or one-night stand) with. In the extreme, she may have a crappy personality, but at least he got to experience being with a beauty such as her. His genes had an opportunity to be passed on to the next generation. If the guy thinks he has so few chances to get a women, naturally he will seek out the most attractive first, and then eventually settle further down his ideal scale, if he continues to crash and burn. His choices are limited, so wants to make the few of them count.

I remember the first time I kissed a girl, I was so nervous! Up to that point, I wanted it to be with the hottest girl I could find that would go for it. After it finally happened, I remember thinking "That's it?" Lol. Since then I have kissed other girls and it was not as big a deal, and I was less selective in the woman who got a kiss from me.

The grass is always greener.. until you get over there, lol

Under ideal circumstances, every man would have equal amount of attractive mates to choose from. Beauty being equal, he could focus more on what counts for the long term: dealing with her behavior, habits, education, etc. and choose a compatible companion.

But I don't live in that world. I consider myself average looking at best, and I am in my late 30's, so I am forcing myself to be selective in the few choices of women that I have available to me, but also I am more willing these days to overlook minor flaws (beauty wise) that I notice in favor of good personality traits that I want for a long- term relationship. Best case scenario, those personality traits will be passed on to any children that I have with her (along with good parenting) for the future generation of adults.

[maxtazm]

very important. a woman's value is determined by her appearance