jf94 wrote:I have read many negative comments on single moms on this website, but I am definitely considering marrying a Filipina single mom and bringing her to the United States. Here is my reasoning, and I welcome your comments.
First, I have to tell you that I need a very open-minded and understanding woman, because my sexual needs and fantasies are things that most women will not want to do. Thus, the basic rationale for looking for a single mom is to find someone who will be completely devoted to me and be willing to indulge my every fantasy.
I think that many girls end up in a situation where they have children because they made youth mistakes. Once, they sleep with the wrong man, or they do not use protection because it is too expensive, and they end up pregnant. Then the men, acting like cowards, leave the girls once they learn that she is pregnant. Say that the woman had her baby at 20. By the time she is 25, she will realize that it is almost impossible to remarry, because single moms are viewed very negatively by Filipinos (and also by most foreigners...) Say, in addition to all of this, that she has only primary school or high school education (and thus, very few job prospects).
Enter myself, a successful and somewhat wealthy businessman from the West Coast. I will offer this single mom, whom nobody else wants to marry, the possibility of becoming my wife and of giving her children a good life and a loving father, in return for her absolute and complete devotion to me. I will be very honest about what I will need her to do, long before I go meet her for the first time. And I will keep my word. I don't have any children right now but I don't mind raising children who are not mine as my own, and be a father to them. I will also give my wife a good and loving life, and in return, she will indulge my twisted fantasies that most women would refuse to even consider.
What do you think? Does it sound like a plan, or like my own foolishness?
JF
Maybe your own foolishness lol. Here's why. I think you are basing your plan on the erroneous assumption that you are some white knight saving a desperate girl who will be eternally grateful to you and show it through loyal and devoted behavior. There's a high chance that it won't play-out like that And your built-in expectations may cause a major rift between you two. She may not go into the deal with those assumptions and when she discovers that's how you see the relationship, may become resentful. Moreover, i you bring her to the States, she can eventually prove to you that you are the desperate one, not her lol.
What you should instead aim for is a girl with the correct strong character and set of values. It doesn't matter so much whether or not she has kids already or is ugly or beautiful. However, you would lower your risk by choosing a gal who is at least 24 or so cus people's brains settle around mid-20s. Before that time, her brain is still developing and changing so what you see at 19 might not be what she is by say 25.
On your side, you need to become capable of learning how the girl things and what makes her tick. There's a lot of subtle tests you can employ over the weeks and months to see what she's made of. Good thing is, Phils. still seems to have a decent percentage of quality girls.
Good luck and be careful out there.