I've been talking to my close friend Elizabeth, who now lives in Reno, NV. I saw her when I was there and I've known her since 2001 when I was an actor in Reno. She insists that the reason why AW have always rejected me is because I have low self-esteem. When I refer her to the fact that 95 percent of AW on AOL rejected me online in the 1990's, after I sent them my best picture that I am proud of, she still insisted on this claim. I guess she thinks that low self-esteem can be transmitted online too. lol
I don't understand her basis. She is well meaning, honest, intelligent and a freethinker too. She's not the kind of woman that BSes or likes to shame others. And she agrees with many of our cultural comparisons of America vs. Abroad. So she is very aware. But she has a lot of New Age views as well.
Yet she honestly believes that low self-esteem is our problem, rather than looks or the spoiled ridiculous standards of AW. This is her honest view, not a shaming tactic.
So where does she and many other women get this idea that guys who are rejected by AW must have low self-esteem? What is the basis of this claim? What is the evidence for it? And why does she cling to it religiously? Does she know something that we don't?
She is somewhat New Ageish in her views and beliefs though. So could that be it? A lot of New Agers believe that there are no victims and that everything happens to you is a result of your attitude and thoughts drawing them to you. So someone who is always rejected by AW must be creating this rejection in their subconscious mind and drawing this rejection in a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's the logic of New Agers. They call it the "Law of Attraction" and take it very literally.
She has no explanation for why foreign women are friendlier to us, and why every guy does better abroad. She only says that in America, women see men as "all or nothing", so that if they are not romantically interested in you, then they want nothing to do with you, not even as friends. She acknowledges that in Europe, women are far more social toward men and are cool with going out with a guy as friends, even if she's not into him romantically. So she is well aware of such cultural differences. She's been to Hungary too. But she insists that low self-esteem is the cause of not being able to get dates in America.
At least she isn't one of those women who claim that foreign women are only friendly because they want your money and a green card. She is more evolved and aware than that.
Here is a photo of her and me when we were at a mall plaza in Orange County, CA. As you can see, she is attractive and obviously cannot relate to being dateless or rejected all the time. She is Eurasian - half Chinese and half Hungarian.
