Stop calling my baby racial slurs

[DanielleNguyen]

So I am pregnant with my second child. My husband is Vietnamese and I am white which leads to lots of associates calling our unborn baby a little banana. To me, it feels like a racial slur and my husband and I have gone a long time without saying anything. I have had to speak up on other things I found out of the line in the past. However, I guess I don't know how to feel on this situation.

Actual Conversation we had:
Person: Oh, you two are expecting.
me: yeah, I am due in October.
Person: Oh its going be a banana baby, how adorable.
Person: Mixed men are always more gorgeous.


I mean I didn't know whether she was complementing me or insulting me. I mean calling my mixed child a banana (yellow and white mixed) is the same to me as calling a mixed kid a Oreo or racoon. (racial slur for black/white mixed). But then, she says that my baby is going to be adorable and make a handsome man. So needless to say, I was very confused.

Anyway, ever since she said that it seems more people think it is OK to call my unborn son this. He has a name and I have told people what it will be. How would you address the situation? Would you feel insulted? Do you think I am being to sensitive due to pregnancy hormones?

[Johnny1975]

What the fu ck is this sh it?


"It feels like a racial slur"

"I don't know how to feel"



How would I address this situation? I wouldn't. It's nothing.

Do I think you're being too sensitive due to pregnancy hormones? With all respect, yes.

Would I feel insulted? No.


Stop it. It wasn't an insult. Starting a thread about it isn't going to achieve anything, unless you just want to vent, which I can understand because you're pregnant and you're not of sound mind right now, which is fair enough. But you should understand that this isn't a forum full of women, so the responses you'll get might not be the ones you want. So to summarise, you're being silly. It's no big deal. My best wishes for you and your husband and your new banana.

https://www.google.com/search?q=banana& ... 80&bih=923

[zboy1]

So I am pregnant with my second child. My husband is Vietnamese and I am white which leads to lots of associates calling our unborn baby a little banana. To me, it feels like a racial slur and my husband and I have gone a long time without saying anything. I have had to speak up on other things I found out of the line in the past. However, I guess I don't know how to feel on this situation.

Actual Conversation we had:
Person: Oh, you two are expecting.
me: yeah, I am due in October.
Person: Oh its going be a banana baby, how adorable.
Person: Mixed men are always more gorgeous.


I mean I didn't know whether she was complementing me or insulting me. I mean calling my mixed child a banana (yellow and white mixed) is the same to me as calling a mixed kid a Oreo or racoon. (racial slur for black/white mixed). But then, she says that my baby is going to be adorable and make a handsome man. So needless to say, I was very confused.

Anyway, ever since she said that it seems more people think it is OK to call my unborn son this. He has a name and I have told people what it will be. How would you address the situation? Would you feel insulted? Do you think I am being to sensitive due to pregnancy hormones?

Honestly, I think you're being a little hypersensitive in this case, Danielle. I actually don't think it's a racial slur; rather, the person was just being playful and joking--and not in an insulting manner.

I understand with your baby being half-White/half-Asian, you might be a little oversensitive, but I think some people do have a great curiosity of mixed-race children, which is a positive. It's just that, due to America's history of racial baggage and awful race-relations in the past (and currently), some people just don't know how to approach these types of issues, resulting in awkward moments and conversations involving race.

Now, they will be instances of real racism facing your child in the future...so prepare your boy to be as mentally strong as possible, and to have him be as proud of who he is as much as he can; then...I think he'll turn out to be just fine.

[DanielleNguyen]

I guess I just don't like the term. I rather my unborn child not be called anything due to mixed race. I just feel like its a label. I felt it was rude.

[Jonny Law]

So I am pregnant with my second child. My husband is Vietnamese and I am white which leads to lots of associates calling our unborn baby a little banana. To me, it feels like a racial slur and my husband and I have gone a long time without saying anything. I have had to speak up on other things I found out of the line in the past. However, I guess I don't know how to feel on this situation.

Actual Conversation we had:
Person: Oh, you two are expecting.
me: yeah, I am due in October.
Person: Oh its going be a banana baby, how adorable.
Person: Mixed men are always more gorgeous.


I mean I didn't know whether she was complementing me or insulting me. I mean calling my mixed child a banana (yellow and white mixed) is the same to me as calling a mixed kid a Oreo or racoon. (racial slur for black/white mixed). But then, she says that my baby is going to be adorable and make a handsome man. So needless to say, I was very confused.

Anyway, ever since she said that it seems more people think it is OK to call my unborn son this. He has a name and I have told people what it will be. How would you address the situation? Would you feel insulted? Do you think I am being to sensitive due to pregnancy hormones?

Ooohhh Poor Baby Someone said something that hurt your little feelings. I feel so bad for you.

You write such cute things Danielle when you are mad

[DanielleNguyen]

well honestly, I guess everyone is right. I grew up in a racist family so I feel the need to jump to defend my friends/ family. I mean my husband had a hard time being accepted by my family and I always had to jump in to defend him in breaking stereotypes. I guess growing up the way I did makes me extra sensitive. I feel a need to protect my children from such labels.

[Johnny1975]

well honestly, I guess everyone is right. I grew up in a racist family so I feel the need to jump to defend my friends/ family. I mean my husband had a hard time being accepted by my family and I always had to jump in to defend him in breaking stereotypes. I guess growing up the way I did makes me extra sensitive. I feel a need to protect my children from such labels.

There's no need to protect anyone from anything. The horrible thing about negative attitudes is that they spread. They poison everything. It has affected you too. Here you are, complaining about something that is no big deal. Maybe there's an opportunity to learn something, and maybe you could teach your son/daughter to be relaxed about stuff. If he/she senses your paranoia it's going to rub off on them and then they'll grow up to be one of those snotty people who can't take a joke. Do you really believe that whoever called your kid a banana was trying to be rude? Of course not. Don't you think it's funny? Come on, it's a banana. How can anyone hate that? And think of all that potassium. That can't be bad.

[DanielleNguyen]

Yeah, I think it could just be my raging pregnancy hormones. I mean I can't tell you how many times I cried watching XMEN Saturady. I just seem sensitive to everything.

[Johnny1975]

Yeah, I think it could just be my raging pregnancy hormones. I mean I can't tell you how many times I cried watching XMEN Saturady. I just seem sensitive to everything.

You're handling it well. I'm sorry for being harsh before. I was just trying to get you to loosen up, that's all. I'll make it up to you by popping out for some gherkins, or whatever it is that you pregnant people like to eat.

[Jonny Law]

FACT!

Asians are the least likely to face RACISM!

1. Arabs/ Muslims
2. N-Words and Blacks
3. Hispanics and Latinos
4. Reverse Racism on Whites
5. Native Americans (no one really cares) They are too drank anyways
6. Finally Racism Against Asians

[Jester]

What the fu ck is this sh it?


"It feels like a racial slur"

"I don't know how to feel"



How would I address this situation? I wouldn't. It's nothing.

Do I think you're being too sensitive due to pregnancy hormones? With all respect, yes.

Would I feel insulted? No.


Stop it. It wasn't an insult. Starting a thread about it isn't going to achieve anything, unless you just want to vent, which I can understand because you're pregnant and you're not of sound mind right now, which is fair enough. But you should understand that this isn't a forum full of women, so the responses you'll get might not be the ones you want. So to summarise, you're being silly. It's no big deal. My best wishes for you and your husband and your new banana.

https://www.google.com/search?q=banana& ... 80&bih=923

+1

Here in Mexico, local guys with slanted eyes are called "Chino", noone gets mad. They use it as an affectionate nickname.

My God I am glad I left the U.S.

[zboy1]

FACT!

Asians are the least likely to face RACISM!

1. Arabs/ Muslims
2. N-Words and Blacks
3. Hispanics and Latinos
4. Reverse Racism on Whites
5. Native Americans (no one really cares) They are too drank anyways
6. Finally Racism Against Asians

You want to be an Asian in a majority White country, and then tell me what you wrote isn't total garbage! Asian and White men face just as much as racism as the other groups, it's just that the media won't report on racial attacks or bias crimes against those two groups, out of political correctness and not 'fitting' the media's agenda of White only racism in the country.

[DanielleNguyen]

well its more if a white person reports racism we look like a**holes.

[Jonny Law]

FACT!

Asians are the least likely to face RACISM!

1. Arabs/ Muslims
2. N-Words and Blacks
3. Hispanics and Latinos
4. Reverse Racism on Whites
5. Native Americans (no one really cares) They are too drank anyways
6. Finally Racism Against Asians

You want to be an Asian in a majority White country, and then tell me what you wrote isn't total garbage! Asian and White men face just as much as racism as the other groups, it's just that the media won't report on racial attacks or bias crimes against those two groups, out of political correctness and not 'fitting' the media's agenda of White only racism in the country.

FACT-
Go to the Best school public with the Highest Test Scores. IN ANY MAJOR CITY YOU WILL FIND IT IS FILLED WITH HALF-ASIAN/WHITE CHILDREN.

For whatever reason mixed White/Asian do better in our society.

Yes there are problems but much less than everyone else.

My advice have the kid take martial arts learn to defend himself or herself.

Fact- In general Asian/White mixed do better in school and make more money as adults.

Fact- Jews face more racism than anyone. FACT JEWS DO BETTER IN OUR SOCIETY THAN ANYONE ELSE.

Racism is the most stupid excuse for not having success in your life.

[Renata]

Danielle mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in ways that set them up for success.

1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They don’t give away their power

3. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control
You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone
Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. Like with the banana comment, you should ask her to explain what she meant. Put her on the spot! The only way to corner someone is to question them & wait' for their answer. Keep eye contact until they answer... btw first person to talk looses. Try that tactic next time.