Why do I have so much trouble finding love in America?

[WorldAdventurer841]

I'm a 26 year old African American male, and I have had my ups and downs of dating here in the United States. This is actually MyFirstLove842 if you really want to know, and the reason why I left this site for awhile because I posted my picture online and one member told me that I looked average with no negative features....whoever that person was who said that wrote me a message apologizing to me.

I accept that person's apology. But I do feel like I'm actually more than just average, I feel below average. American Women don't give me the time or day to even look at me if they walk pass me anywhere when I go out. If it's on the sidewalk, in a city, in the suburbs, I don't get any attention from girls that I'm attracted too. It kinda sucks the girls that I'm not attracted too who I think are ugly they do give me a lot of attention. A lot of fat black girls and fat white girls who are pretty ugly, no offense to them but I'm sorry they really don't look the best. They have pimples/acne on their face on top of that!!!!!! I'm always getting rejected on what I'm attracted to and unfortunately I haven't found my match. I have never been kissed, but I've been hugged. That's actually a FACT!

I'm open to date all ethnicities and races. But something with me and American Women have just not clicked and I want to know from you guys are Foreign Women really more approachable and friendlier than American women? I look online and I keep hearing that American women are rude, not very nice actually a guy named Phx/Fenix told me that. I don't want to post my picture on here again because I might get some very negative feedback from you guys.

I honestly feel like I'm ugly right now because I keep getting attention from ugly American Women, and I get attention from older senior citizens too! Is'nt that a shame? I don't like cougars, I hate to say it so I'll try to stay away from that. Ya I prefer someone my own age. American Women are so frustrating!!!! It's almost like pulling teeth honestly!!!!! Give me your guys take on Foreign Women vs American Women, who wins and why!!??

[WorldAdventurer841]

can you guys talk to me about this? I'm really struggling with dating, I don't know if I'm being too nice or my personality sucks. It's pretty bad when your getting looked at by ugly girls isn't it? Could the nice looking women be just intimidated by me?

[Winston]

Because AW think they're too good for you. They only want the top 10 percent of mine. They are also super spoiled and conceited. And if you are down to earth, they find you boring.

They also want you to mind your own business. They already have a boyfriend and don't need you, and even if they are single, they don't need you because they are independent. In America, if you are a single guy, everything is against you.

You are not even supposed to be "seeking or finding love". You are supposed to already have a partner. And if you don't, you are supposed to mind your own business and leave women alone. Otherwise, you are seen as a creep and pervert.

If you ask a girl out, you are committing a transgression and crossing the line. You are not allowed to pursue love, romance or dating. You are supposed to mind your own business and wallow in your loneliness.

You are expected to suppress your desires for women and pretend that you don't have any. If you have desires for women then you are a creep and pervert. You are not allowed to act on your desires in America, unless your desire is for consumerism. All that matters is working and consuming. You are supposed to fill your void with consumerism, not romance or social connection. That's what the system expects and commands you to do.

Your only chance is to break into a clique that has single women in it, but even then your choices are limited. The only logical solution is to expand your choices by going abroad to a country that suits you and provides you with real choices. You will be surprised how easy it is to talk to women overseas. They smile, make eye contact and flirt. You are more free to flirt and get dates. It's a natural thing overseas. Not a transgression or violation.

PS - If you want us to evaluate you better, you can post a photo of yourself.

[jamesbond]

WorldAdventurer841, Winston said he had the exact same problem you do with American women, he felt invisible to them. Winston said he approached literally hundreds of girl in the US and came up empty almost every time. He even had some girls in shopping malls call security on him for harassment.

It's not you, it' the toxic women in America who are the problem. Travel to the Philippines and watch how different the women there react to you. Instead of ignoring you, they will smile and say hell to you. Some girls may even ask you to go out with them! The girls in the Philippines are very friendly and flirtatious unlike American women who are unfriendly and anti-social.

[KokujinKrusader]

Being Black, you are considered less attractive to women all over the world. You probably are not an athlete or a dude running the streets either, and when girls say that they like Black guys, these tend to be the guys that they want, not the studious or introverted type.

For those of you critiquing the man's writing style, years and years of being ignored or socially defecated on will have an effect on one's personality, pushing them to be anxious, introverted, despairing, and so on.

My advice to you is to hit the gym. There is no exercise that will make you white, unfortunately, but if you are in shape you may have better chances attracting women. You will also be able to release some of the stress that a lack of sex (and other stressors) can cause, and if you talk to the gym brahs, it might help you to get over social anxiety if you have it.

[Array9]

I would have to agree with KokujinKrusader. Find a gym and start working out if you are not already working out. Do it for yourself and not to pick up ladies, that will come later.

Another thing you can do is focus on your finanaces. You are still at the age where you can work two jobs. Build up your bank account first, then get a passport and travel the world. There is more to life than just America. Once you have plenty of money saved up, go abroad. Visit the British Musuem in London, the Giza pyramids in Egypt or the beaches of the Carribbean. My point is that sitting around waiting for American women to notice you will not help your situation.

Even when you hit 30, 35 or 40, the girls will still be there.

[WorldAdventurer841]

Being Black, you are considered less attractive to women all over the world. You probably are not an athlete or a dude running the streets either, and when girls say that they like Black guys, these tend to be the guys that they want, not the studious or introverted type.

For those of you critiquing the man's writing style, years and years of being ignored or socially defecated on will have an effect on one's personality, pushing them to be anxious, introverted, despairing, and so on.

My advice to you is to hit the gym. There is no exercise that will make you white, unfortunately, but if you are in shape you may have better chances attracting women. You will also be able to release some of the stress that a lack of sex (and other stressors) can cause, and if you talk to the gym brahs, it might help you to get over social anxiety if you have it.

Are you critizing me because I'm black??? U say being black is considered less attractive to women all over the world, you must be joking right? Tell me who is the most attractive race in the world? Talk to Phx he told me that it's over for White men...not sure what he really meant by that. But saying that I'm black and considered less attractive is kinda offensive don't ya think? Think about what you write before you post buddy. In other words I'm not going to kill myself and comeback to life thinking I want to be white.

[KokujinKrusader]

Being Black, you are considered less attractive to women all over the world. You probably are not an athlete or a dude running the streets either, and when girls say that they like Black guys, these tend to be the guys that they want, not the studious or introverted type.

For those of you critiquing the man's writing style, years and years of being ignored or socially defecated on will have an effect on one's personality, pushing them to be anxious, introverted, despairing, and so on.

My advice to you is to hit the gym. There is no exercise that will make you white, unfortunately, but if you are in shape you may have better chances attracting women. You will also be able to release some of the stress that a lack of sex (and other stressors) can cause, and if you talk to the gym brahs, it might help you to get over social anxiety if you have it.

Are you critizing me because I'm black??? U say being black is considered less attractive to women all over the world, you must be joking right? Tell me who is the most attractive race in the world? Talk to Phx he told me that it's over for White men...not sure what he really meant by that. But saying that I'm black and considered less attractive is kinda offensive don't ya think? Think about what you write before you post buddy. In other words I'm not going to kill myself and comeback to life thinking I want to be white.

I am not criticizing you. I am Black myself. you might not even be an ugly guy, but the truth of the matter is that in outside cultures, and even to a degree within black culture, being a Black guy lowers your SMV amongst the general populace. I would say that Black men's star was rising back in the 2000s as far as SMV, but it has taken a sharp decline and is steadily going into the abyss in 2014 and onward.

What I said may be offensive, and being a Black man, I wish it weren't so, but I am just telling you the way it is. Now, take that knowledge and work towards a solution, if there is one.

[IraqVet2003]

WorldAdventurer841, I would like to say to you it's NOT your fault for not finding a woman. It's this man-hating, FEMINIST culture that makes many American women of all races super picky!!! Not to mention that in many parts of the U.S. SINGLE MEN OUTNUMBER SINGLE WOMEN making competition in the dating scene very keen. Also, because of HYPERGAMY (when women "marry up"-above their economic/social status) it leaves large numbers of men without decent choices for dates or wives.

As a word of encouragement WorldAdventurer841, I too (Along with Winston and Jamesbond) suggest you TRAVEL ABROAD to find some nice, decent, and attractive women. You could start get a PASSPORT at your local post office. Then you must obtain a tourist visa for whatever country your trying to visit. Speaking of which, I would suggest a few countries (BUT NOT LIMITED TO) in trying out in the following regions:

LATIN AMERICA:
-BELIZE
-COSTA RICA
-BRAZIL
-ARGENTINA

SOUTHEAST ASIA:
-THE PHILIPPINES

WESTERN EUROPE:
-THE NETHERLANDS (HOLLAND)
-GERMANY
-FRANCE
-ITALY

EASTERN EUROPE:
-THE CZECH REPUBLIC
-ROMANIA
-SLOVENIA
-BULGARIA

[Maverick]

Being Black, you are considered less attractive to women all over the world. You probably are not an athlete or a dude running the streets either, and when girls say that they like Black guys, these tend to be the guys that they want, not the studious or introverted type.

For those of you critiquing the man's writing style, years and years of being ignored or socially defecated on will have an effect on one's personality, pushing them to be anxious, introverted, despairing, and so on.

My advice to you is to hit the gym. There is no exercise that will make you white, unfortunately, but if you are in shape you may have better chances attracting women. You will also be able to release some of the stress that a lack of sex (and other stressors) can cause, and if you talk to the gym brahs, it might help you to get over social anxiety if you have it.

I disagree. Black guys do very well in the US and being black is no longer a reason why one can't get women. Asian I can understand a bit (though I know enough Asian guys that are good with girls in the US to discredit that idea too). But black guys? No way. No excuse.

The introversion is likely the reason. Girls tend to be attracted to extroverted personalities in the US. You have to be extroverted, confident, and act like you don't care. Then you will be swimming in p*ssy, no matter what race you are.

If you're not one of those kinds of guys, then you must either be very good looking or get girls from social circle, ones that get to know you well.

[hammanta]

Being Black, you are considered less attractive to women all over the world. You probably are not an athlete or a dude running the streets either, and when girls say that they like Black guys, these tend to be the guys that they want, not the studious or introverted type.

For those of you critiquing the man's writing style, years and years of being ignored or socially defecated on will have an effect on one's personality, pushing them to be anxious, introverted, despairing, and so on.

My advice to you is to hit the gym. There is no exercise that will make you white, unfortunately, but if you are in shape you may have better chances attracting women. You will also be able to release some of the stress that a lack of sex (and other stressors) can cause, and if you talk to the gym brahs, it might help you to get over social anxiety if you have it.

I disagree. Black guys do very well in the US and being black is no longer a reason why one can't get women. Asian I can understand a bit (though I know enough Asian guys that are good with girls in the US to discredit that idea too). But black guys? No way. No excuse.

The introversion is likely the reason. Girls tend to be attracted to extroverted personalities in the US. You have to be extroverted, confident, and act like you don't care. Then you will be swimming in p*ssy, no matter what race you are.

If you're not one of those kinds of guys, then you must either be very good looking or get girls from social circle, ones that get to know you well.

I kinda agree with both but at least in my area, unless a black guy is tall and athletic or "hard" acting, he has little chance with the local girls, unless they are fat and ugly. In high school black guys are the "cool" guys and everyone wants to be friends with them but after that it doesn't really seem to be the case. These are simply my observations.

My advice to the OP is similar to what Array9 wrote. Hit the gym hard, work on your career, and save, save, save. Travel the world and meet people. Try backpacking and couchsurfing. Opening up your social circle does wonders for dating. Find a new hobby and pursue it and do your best to work on your confidence. I know it's easier said than done but with a little fortitude you can do it.

[KokujinKrusader]

I kinda agree with both but at least in my area, unless a black guy is tall and athletic or "hard" acting, he has little chance with the local girls, unless they are fat and ugly. In high school black guys are the "cool" guys and everyone wants to be friends with them but after that it doesn't really seem to be the case. These are simply my observations.

My advice to the OP is similar to what Array9 wrote. Hit the gym hard, work on your career, and save, save, save. Travel the world and meet people. Try backpacking and couchsurfing. Opening up your social circle does wonders for dating. Find a new hobby and pursue it and do your best to work on your confidence. I know it's easier said than done but with a little fortitude you can do it.

Exactly. Black dudes usually get the ugly chicks unless they act like media stereotypes, and even then it's only a particular niche of girls that will go for us/them. This is the same overseas as well for the most part (at least in Japan), but you may have a little bit more room to maneuver if you are the introverted type in some countries (though not much).

I cannot stress the importance of physical exercise enough, especially if you can find a quality gym. Exercise is going to relieve some of your stress, help you to get into better shape, help you to meet people potentially, and if you are young enough and can build enough HGH and testosterone, you might get a bit taller. All of these things will help you with girls. You'll still be Black, and thus at a major SMV disadvantage for the most part, but I'd rather be a 3 than a 2...

Check this blog post out, it may help you: http://grandadmiralgame.blogspot.com/20 ... degen.html

[Jeremy]

Sounds about right. If you're an average looking, fit young male in America, your "league" is actually fat chicks and middle aged moms.

I remember when I used to go out all the time, wearing tight shirts to show off my nice swimmer's physique and feeling pretty good about myself. Yet chubby, below average chicks would act like they were too good for me.

[pete98146]

Sounds about right. If you're an average looking, fit young male in America, your "league" is actually fat chicks and middle aged moms.

I remember when I used to go out all the time, wearing tight shirts to show off my nice swimmer's physique and feeling pretty good about myself. Yet chubby, below average chicks would act like they were too good for me.

Sadly it's all about the Benjamins here in the US. If you have a nice fat wallet sticking out of the shorts then you're set.

[KokujinKrusader]

Sounds about right. If you're an average looking, fit young male in America, your "league" is actually fat chicks and middle aged moms.

I remember when I used to go out all the time, wearing tight shirts to show off my nice swimmer's physique and feeling pretty good about myself. Yet chubby, below average chicks would act like they were too good for me.

Yup. That's the story of my life. The thing is, even though they hate Black people, foreign Asian women and foreign Latinas that are students, or whatever here seem much more open and appreciative.