Feeling Lonely After Seeing Couples

[eurobrat]

That and their entitlement is out of control.

What exactly does he think he is entitled to that isn't the historical norm? All successful societies have enforced female pre-marital chastity at the time of their inception and ascendency and if anything, sixteen is a little old for a female to get married in most societies.

16 is the ideal age to marry a girl and she's more likely to be like a princess at that age. Why should a man go for a 32 year old woman that is already past her peak beauty and past fertility.

Dude you would be lucky if any girl so much as said hello to you with the amount of anger and hate coming out of your mouth!

[Tsar]

If a cute girl came up to me in a grocery store and started flirting and it was in America I wouldn't even bother, it would probably be a trick anyway and no girls actually do that.

You are probably too socially awkward to notice anyway, so why bother? If you are anywhere near as handsome as you claim to be, there's no way in hell no girl ever flirted with you. You are probably deluding yourself in a number of ways, and very unapproachable and closed-off.

The only time girls showed any interest in me were once or twice in high school. I never really them out because back then I wasn't the same person as I am now. The girls in college are not interested in anyone that is respectable or they already have their own group of friends and don't want another.

[Jeremy]

That girl looks younger than 16. Most 16 year olds are fully developed, with apple bottom asses and wide birthing hips. Most will never be as hot as they were at that age. All that happens from thereon is loss of skin elasticity, fat gain, and elongating facial features.

Every straight man in the world would stack Kendall and Kylie Jenner on top of one another and have a go.

[Tsar]

My list is legitimate and if you can't see that then your the one that is deluded. I'm proud to be shallow because that means I have standards, self-respect, and I appreciate beauty. Everyone is entitled to love and I don't care who doesn't believe that is true. I'm proud to be a narcissistic because it is empowering and means I don't get attached to anyone.

LOL! you sound like a psycho, and you really wonder why no girl has f***ed you yet. It's pretty obvious. You really think that coming over here to Europe will get you a girl with that attitude. There is nowhere you will get a girl with that mentality.

If a person is too nice they get walked upon. If a person becomes too attached then they will be very hurt if they lost that person. Almost relationship in life is about power. Game of Thrones highlights that perfectly.

If a cute girl came up to me in a grocery store and started flirting and it was in America I wouldn't even bother, it would probably be a trick anyway and no girls actually do that. Random guys in grocery stores are CREEPS to American girls. At least 40% of the girls that I see are overweight, fat, obese, or morbidly obese.

Have you ever even tried becoming just friends with a girl? Kind of like Spark and his Lesbo girlfriend. Do you know how much you would learn about women if you just tried that? Instead you're hateful, spiteful, and narcissistic like Elliot Rogers thinking they should deflower you just because you're you...

I was really good acquaintances with a few or several girls in high school. I would talk with them and they were the ones who showed a good interest in me. I'm sure they genuinely liked me at the time. If I was smarter back then I would have turned those into friendships. When I was in college I was rejected even for friendships any time. Anytime I did something nice to try to be a friend I was spurned. Nice guys lose and bad boys are losers. I won't be either of them. Nowhere in my history of posting does it say anything like that. I say I want marry a girl, not have "lots of sex with hot girls" like Elliot Rodger. Being genuinely nice to anyone and everyone doesn't get people anywhere. It's a weakness. When a person needs others they sacrifice their own sense of self-value and want to be defined by others. I would like to have friends and other people in my life that makes it a happier place, but I don't need them and if they don't want to be friends then that's fine. But I'm not hateful or spiteful, I still do nice things for me and I respect other people. I'm not as hateful or spiteful as you think I am.

[S_Parc]

Marcos, Eurobrat, Public, and the other Europeans on this forum ...

A lot of what you're saying, as you toss bricks at Tsar, is that you have minimal comprehension of what growing up in America is like.

What it is, is like that movie 'American Beauty', with a lot of isolation, confusion, and so forth. In fact, when I'd seen that film, I'd felt like Wes Bentley's character was an alterego of myself. As in the movie, I'd also bolted out at 17. So, until you grow up in a type of Jerry Springer-ish family or society, it's hard to make comparisons.

The idea that all of us are hanging out by a lake/beach, as in some happy-go-lucky Beach Boys or Frankie Valli song, is the fabrication of our media.

The way that a person in America survives is the ability to compartmentalize and maintain one's positive daily habits and focus, which keeps the depressing and angry feelings around us, from screwing up our lives. If I didn't develop that ability, starting in HS, I probably wouldn't be too far off from where Tsar is today or even dead, as my household was really that bad. Plus, I do concur with one thing and that's that Tsar is minimizing the worth of AW (as a cluster/cohort) but at the same time, he isn't using that shielding technique to build up his own inner power. Instead, it's becoming more and more like Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', which is the problem here.

[eurobrat]

I was really good acquaintances with a few or several girls in high school. I would talk with them and they were the ones who showed a good interest in me. I'm sure they genuinely liked me at the time. If I was smarter back then I would have turned those into friendships. When I was in college I was rejected even for friendships any time. Anytime I did something nice to try to be a friend I was spurned. Nice guys lose and bad boys are losers. I won't be either of them. Nowhere in my history of posting does it say anything like that. I say I want marry a girl, not have "lots of sex with hot girls" like Elliot Rodger. Being genuinely nice to anyone and everyone doesn't get people anywhere. It's a weakness. When a person needs others they sacrifice their own sense of self-value and want to be defined by others. I would like to have friends and other people in my life that makes it a happier place, but I don't need them and if they don't want to be friends then that's fine. But I'm not hateful or spiteful, I still do nice things for me and I respect other people. I'm not as hateful or spiteful as you think I am.

Fair enough, but you really need to drop the virginity thing and the 16 year old fetish. Broaden your horizons, you say all 30 year old women are unattractive it's not true! Actually you really need a 30 year old girl to f**k your brains out and show you the ropes!

Your way too picky and you like to hold onto your virginity like it's some kind of trophy or special club that no one can get into. I know you value it and want to make your first time special but you've gone off the deep end mate and look stupid.

Just go loose it to the first girl that gives you a semi-boner and you will see it's no big deal.

[Tsar]

The only time girls showed any interest in me were once or twice in high school.

Why did you not act upon this? How did they show interest in you, and what was your response to this?

I was obsessed about the pageant-contestant girls. Many of them did or would compete on some level lower level of the Teen Miss America pageant, one of the ones that didn't was a state semi-finalist for the Adult Miss America. Instead of being willing to go after the 6.5/10 or 7/10, I was focused on the 8 level (there was nothing higher than that).

I never really them out because back then I wasn't the same person as I am now.

What type of girls were these, anyway? What did they look like? And in what way are you "no longer the same person as you are now"? Like, how did you change? I am a bit puzzled here.

She looked like a 14 year old version with roughly a 40% visual similarity to these two Portugese woman. I was about 18 (senior) at the time and she was about 14 (freshman).
http://show.chariweb.com/2012/06/soccer ... -2012.html
http://www.beijingshots.com/wp-content/ ... er-fan.png

http://resultadosfutbol.cc/portugal/
http://resultadosfutbol.cc/wp-content/u ... 00x723.jpg

I should have approached other girls and showed interest but they were cheerleaders (but one was said to be very nice and the other seemed to be nice from what I heard). But most of the attractive girls already had boyfriends. I think other high schools had more quantities of attractive girls which definitely would increase probably of getting at least a girl of decent attractiveness (6.5 and she might age well and become a 7). I changed because I recognize opportunities now and don't allow girls to consume my thoughts (like the Miss America modelesque girls or the popular blonde girl or the sexy gymnast that consumed my thoughts). There is nothing special about any one girl, it's all replaceable and the moment I realized that was part of my change. I was mainly referring to recognize opportunities and not letting them slip away.

I am sure there were mere boys than girls at my high school. Also, many of the attractive girls already had boyfriends which was another problem. Plainness or below average looks have always been a complete dealbreaker.

The girls in college are not interested in anyone that is respectable

Define "respectable".

Classy and upstanding not a ghetto gangsta wannabe or a wigger, practices proper etiquette, noble and aristocratic not ghetto or trashy, uses proper words and doesn't curse every sentence, doesn't party like most American college students party by getting drunk+loud rap+noise+doing stupid shit+acting foolish or getting rowdy+wild, and interested in an actual relationship not just a fling or a short-term thing. I carry myself like an aristocrat and a nobleman.

or they already have their own group of friends and don't want another.

Do you have a group of friends? And if so, does this group of friends ever come together and are there girls around when they do? That is how much relationship start early in life; as a result of meeting girls through mutual friends. One of the many reasons why socializing, whether here or in Russia or wherever you will go, is vitally important for your romantic success as well as your social skills.

I would have been a lot happier if I did have friends but most people are cruel. I lost my only real shot at having friends in America when I was in high school. People in the northeast aren't the most welcoming, friendly, open, or warm people. Utah, the Midwest, or South would have given me a better experience than the Northeast. Life circumstances dealt me some very poor cards and I have to play the hand I was dealt.

[In2dadark]

I think if you find 16 year old under developed women attractive than you're a pedobear.

Most 16 year old females are fully developed and fecund adult women.

I agree & my parents generation females got married as young as 13 (I'm 55).

[In2dadark]

I wish I could be abroad and trying to find myself an attractive 16 year old virgin foreign girlfriend.

You're creepy and starting to sound like Elliot Rodgers. Go hire a hoe and just get laid. You're not going anywhere in life with no job, living at home and obsessing about blonde, white, 16 year old virgins. You wouldn't even know what to do with a girl if you went on a date with one. What is it with all the creepy younger coming out of the woodwork with their extreme and weird fetishes on internet forums.

Tsar you sound like a real weirdo and mentally ill. Get your a** out of your parents house, get a job and start a life.

Terrible advice to give to a virgin. Hookers don't do a thing for loneliness & he'll (very likely) regret if his first lay is with a hoe...

[In2dadark]

I would have been a lot happier if I did have friends but most people are cruel. I lost my only real shot at having friends in America when I was in high school. People in the northeast aren't the most welcoming, friendly, open, or warm people. Utah, the Midwest, or South would have given me a better experience than the Northeast. Life circumstances dealt me some very poor cards and I have to play the hand I was dealt.

Very true. I grew up in the Ne & moved away a few times, finally in my 20's. Had a vacation home up there until last month. It is 20 times worse than when I was young. Get out of there ASAP.

[publicduende]

So, until you grow up in a type of Jerry Springer-ish family or society, it's hard to make comparisons.

Thanks heck I didn't grow up in that sort of family. Yet the big question is: is such a family the absolute norm in the US? I don't know what Tsar's family situation has been during his formative years, or recent years. All I know is that, for a young man in his 20s to have this much social disconnect, hatred, not to mention revelling in these unattainable, faux-nostalgic views on sexual preferences, relationships and virginity, it's anything but normal.

Ours Truly Tsar is in his prime and should be out and about, socialising, making mistakes and learning from them, being rejected by 5 girls and banging 1, discovering the world or even starting out a corporate career. He is having none of that and, no matter how dysfunctional you think US society has become, at least 75% of the responsibility for his misery and loneliness lies on his shoulders, and only his shoulders.

The idea that all of us are hanging out by a lake/beach, as in some happy-go-lucky Beach Boys or Frankie Valli song, is the fabrication of our media.

Believe me, we Euros stopped buying that kind of propaganda since at least the mid 80s. Some of us since the end of WW2, in fact.

The way that a person in America survives is the ability to compartmentalize and maintain one's positive daily habits and focus, which keeps the depressing and angry feelings around us, from screwing up our lives. If I didn't develop that ability, starting in HS, I probably wouldn't be too far off from where Tsar is today or even dead, as my household was really that bad. Plus, I do concur with one thing and that's that Tsar is minimizing the worth of AW (as a cluster/cohort) but at the same time, he isn't using that shielding technique to build up his own inner power. Instead, it's becoming more and more like Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', which is the problem here.

I am really uncomfortable with your use of the term "compartmentalise": it has a Monarch/MK Ultra taste to it, as if one had to force themselves to surgically remove their negative life experiences instead of elaborating them, digesting them, even learn from them. If one has such depressing, angry feeling around him, they naturally learn to ignore them the moment they gain a more serene, positive outlook on life. There are still so many good things that can happen in a man's life, whatever pain and hardship his past might have brought onto him. Spiritual discipline and focus on self development may be one path, but another surely is to simply live for your own happiness and those of the selected few people you love and care for.

[publicduende]

I would have been a lot happier if I did have friends but most people are cruel. I lost my only real shot at having friends in America when I was in high school. People in the northeast aren't the most welcoming, friendly, open, or warm people. Utah, the Midwest, or South would have given me a better experience than the Northeast. Life circumstances dealt me some very poor cards and I have to play the hand I was dealt.

Very true. I grew up in the Ne & moved away a few times, finally in my 20's. Had a vacation home up there until last month. It is 20 times worse than when I was young. Get out of there ASAP.

Just making excuses. Do you really think your loneliness problem in the US is only solved by having the good luck of being born in the right state/county/neighbourhood combination?

[eurobrat]

Marcos, Eurobrat, Public, and the other Europeans on this forum ...

A lot of what you're saying, as you toss bricks at Tsar, is that you have minimal comprehension of what growing up in America is like.

I don't know what your talking about but I have stated numerous times to you I was born and grew up in California. I have only been European by paper for the last 7 years of my life.

What it is, is like that movie 'American Beauty', with a lot of isolation, confusion, and so forth. In fact, when I'd seen that film, I'd felt like Wes Bentley's character was an alterego of myself. As in the movie, I'd also bolted out at 17. So, until you grow up in a type of Jerry Springer-ish family or society, it's hard to make comparisons.

You really think it's any different here? Well it's not. People are just as mentally here too.

The idea that all of us are hanging out by a lake/beach, as in some happy-go-lucky Beach Boys or Frankie Valli song, is the fabrication of our media.

And Americans tend to think everyone here in Italy just hangs out all day eating Pizza laying out by the beach without a worry in the world... So it swings both ways once again.

[S_Parc]

The way that a person in America survives is the ability to compartmentalize and maintain one's positive daily habits and focus, which keeps the depressing and angry feelings around us, from screwing up our lives. If I didn't develop that ability, starting in HS, I probably wouldn't be too far off from where Tsar is today or even dead, as my household was really that bad. Plus, I do concur with one thing and that's that Tsar is minimizing the worth of AW (as a cluster/cohort) but at the same time, he isn't using that shielding technique to build up his own inner power. Instead, it's becoming more and more like Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', which is the problem here.

I am really uncomfortable with your use of the term "compartmentalise": it has a Monarch/MK Ultra taste to it, as if one had to force themselves to surgically remove their negative life experiences instead of elaborating them, digesting them, even learn from them. If one has such depressing, angry feeling around him, they naturally learn to ignore them the moment they gain a more serene, positive outlook on life. There are still so many good things that can happen in a man's life, whatever pain and hardship his past might have brought onto him. Spiritual discipline and focus on self development may be one path, but another surely is to simply live for your own happiness and those of the selected few people you love and care for.

Public, the only person in my household who's made it intact, is myself. Everybody else, by absorbing their surroundings, is a basket case. The only miracle here is that no one's in jail. And no one's learned from their pain and hardship. It just made 'em alcoholics and I wouldn't be surprised if I discover Oxycontin abuse in there, as well. Today, my separation from them is permanent. Mel had specifically instructed her entire clan, never to contact my family under any circumstances.

I'm glad to hear that Frankie Valli is also just a song writer and not an advocate of the American century abroad.

And as for Tsar, my main concern is that he doesn't focus on the art of conversation. And yes, he can start with older ppl, like former Vietnam Vets and such, and simply learn how to have a dialogue. There are plenty of older Americans, who want to tell their stories. This whole getting to know the opposite gender should come, long after those first steps are mastered.

As for fantasies.... this is why I'd made that list of ages 13, 17, 24, 29+. I believe that the OP is somewhere at the 1st gateway where his Don Quixote dreams have him believing that he's fighting for Excalibur, Camelot (or something). It would be like me, looking for that great adventure, since Obi-Wan Kenobi will teach me once I hit my twenties. Sorry, but I was done with phantasmagorical adventures at 13 pronto. From then on, it was coping with the raw deal of having been born into a psychotic family. I was on my way towards adulthood, as it was only 4 years into the future from there. And it was the 2nd gateway, 17, when I started to actively look for women.

[eurobrat]

As for fantasies.... this is why I'd made that list of ages 13, 17, 24, 29+. I believe that the OP is somewhere at the 1st gateway where his Don Quixote dreams have him believing that he's fighting for Excalibur, Camelot (or something). It would be like me, looking for that great adventure, since Obi-Wan Kenobi will teach me once I hit my twenties. Sorry, but I was done with phantasmagorical adventures at 13 pronto. From then on, it was coping with the raw deal of having been born into a psychotic family. I was on my way towards adulthood, a s it was only 4 years into the future from there. And it was the 2nd gateway, 17, when I started to actively look for women.

I don't know, Tsar sounds spoiled and it looks like him being spoiled has warped into entitlement. At 24 still living at home with no job... When I was 24 I had already graduated college, was about to pay off the loan on my truck, I was working full-time, had my own apartment in the nicer part of LA fully furnished and I was dating a 27 year old girl who I had met online.

This kind of situation where he's still living at home being coddled at that age reminds me of the Italians here in Italy. This kind of coddling is stunting him socially, emotionally and intellectually.