Feeling Lonely After Seeing Couples

[S_Parc]

Hello Dave, thanks for speaking up in this thread.

You know, part of the reason why I'm keeping a bit of a low brow on these issues is that my immediate family, despite being 100% dysfunctional, is white.

In other words, the moment I leave the home, I'm treated like every other American other there. This is a strange thing to communicate because ppl perceive me, as an individual. The assumption by the masses, is that I'd come from a decent family, when that's certainly not the case.

Thus, I'm given a bit of a free pass, because of my alleged Anglican background, despite not having attended services in eons.

Mel, my GF, understands all of this and doesn't want to her family to think less of me and thus, has put up barriers, for my own protection. And you know, this is one of the real reasons why I'm in love with her. She's my one and one truer protector in this life. If this persists, she'll be my wife in a rather short time.

Ok, with that stated, as this threads progresses, I'd gotten a bit irate at all the attacks against Tsar, w/o trying to understand, what folks like us, go through, growing up in America.

Instead of attacking the OP, I'd rather give a person like him, daily exercises to practice, so that he could attain his final goals. Now granted, there's no guarantee of a final outcome but badgering someone, just because he didn't achieve X, Y, or Z by age 24, isn't very helpful.

[Maverick]

Why not actually help Tsar?

Well, we can only give advice based on our own experiences. Personally, I'm a very solutions-oriented guy. If someone starts venting about something, my natural reaction is to come up with a solution to solve that person's problems. That's how I generally do things in my own my life, so that's how I think. People do tell me that I come off as insensitive at times. My apologies if my posts came off that way. I really am trying to help the guy the best way I know how.

Ok, with that stated, as this threads progresses, I'd gotten a bit irate at all the attacks against Tsar, w/o trying to understand, what folks like us, go through, growing up in America.

I grew up in America too and, to be honest, it really wasn't that bad. Like most other people today, I grew up in a dysfunctional household, was bullied, and was constantly getting in trouble for not going along with the feminist ideology from a young age (though I didn't know what I was doing at the time).

So I've been where Tsar was for a little while. In fact, it's possible that our early lives were similar. I was bullied VERY badly in middle school and junior high, but found my way in high school, got some confidence, and haven't been bullied since.

As I said above, we can only give advice based on our experiences. So my advice is geared towards pushing Tsar onto the path that I got onto when things started massively improving in my life. Again, if it came off as an attack, my apologies.

[Tsar]

I thought Happier Abroad was a support system, but people are being jerks to my friend.

I tried to be as constructive as I could but sometimes people's attitudes are part of the problem. I said on several of my posts that I do not believe Tsar to be a bad guy at all, and that I wish him nothing but the best. However, in spite of this, I do believe it to be important for him to change some things about his mindset and attitude.

When I see someone with an unhealthy mindset I speak up about this because I care, not to be hateful. I am supportive but some of the things he says just surprise me. It's a pity.

I wish nothing but the best for this guy but he seems very obsessed with certain tv-series, with fairy tales and knights and the like. The way he writes, the way he talks, and the fact that he is already seeing a therapist make me honestly wonder if perhaps he has been diagnosed with something already? That would certainly understand some of his behavior, his attitude and mindset. The bad experiences he's had in the past make things worse. It's a vicious circle I hope he can snap out of.

I mentioned I likely have Adult PTSD, I won't deny I have major trust issues, and I stammer. What is wrong with the way I write? I write like a poet or an author. I watch a lot of televisions shows more than I read. If I think something relates to my life or is of relevance then I would post it. Generally if something has magic, superpowers, a heroic quest, or getting a princess I will love it because that is the type of entertainment I enjoy. When I was in high school my favorite show was Heroes. Favorite shows might change but favorite genres don't change. I am an idealist, not a realist. Most people are realists and cannot dream. Besides, my past and present is wretched so why shouldn't I try to experience some semblance of joy by watching movies, television shows, or anime that gives me inspiration? The bad experiences don't make things worse. The bad experiences are my past. A person that has experienced what I did could never turn out to be the typical modern guy.

Did you even read the eight examples I posted? If I took a week I could think back and write hundreds of negative examples. These aren't just insignificant slights or things that can be forgotten. My past was not at all pleasant.

If a song could play inside of a person's heart that defined everything about their life story, innermost desires, and their dreams, I have selected that one that would presently play inside my heart.



The sad and mournful melody of a lost soul wishing to reclaim joy and to find someone that brings jubilation into his wretched life. Wanting to escape his cruel world, feel the warm of true love, and finally share in kind laughter. Desiring a beautiful and youthful princess with purity and compassion to melt his icy heart and take away all the years of bitterness.

My writing is that of a poet. I assume you dislike poetic writing? Can you please take some time explain what you dislike about my writing?

[Tsar]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opkMyKGx7TQ&feature=kp[/youtube]

One of the real speeches of King George VI, King of England and Emperor of the British Empire. He stammered.

Usually I can am able to speak that well with people I know and trust. My speech is worse with random people or people I don't trust. You don't know what it's like to constantly be on trial before people your entire life or be mocked. At least he was blessed by being wealthy and being royalty. That allowed him to have some happiness and have a nice family early on. He had the love and affections of a virtuous wife that supported him and when he was feeling down she comforted him.

[eurobrat]

The bad experiences are my past. A person that has experienced what I did could never turn out to be the typical modern guy.

I think everyone here needs to look at the following pie chart, especially the OP:



Tsar needs to realize he is victimizing himself and not taking responsibility for himself and his own happiness in life. There are a few guys on here that tend to do this.

I ask you the following questions if you really think you are a victim to life:

1) Has anyone purposely sabotage your life to the point of no return, something that can not be fixed?
2) Has anyone robbed or stolen from you to the point where you are completely broke and helpless?
3) Where you born with or have acquired a real physical disease that has left you physically disabled?


Are you ready to take responsibility for your life and find happiness? It's time to throw this card away...

I see those on here that claim to be a victim but are fully capable, smart and not physically disabled males. I feel it's a real slap in the face to those who do have real diseases, real hardships, grow up without a home or a family.

If your problems can be solved by yourself and is not in the hands of God or others than you are not a victim. These are not real problems and they are a slap in the face to other people who really do suffer from real physical diseases that have no control over the outcome no matter what they do.

It's time for everyone to bring out the wheel they were given by their 3rd grade teachers in elementary school...



Rinse and repeat until the problem has been solved. Move forwards, not backwards...



BONUS*** - The international version:

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

LOL @ EuroBrat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Tsar,

I don't think I have ever attacked you. I never had bad blood with you. I guess I am indifferent?

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Alright, I'll say this. A lot of you guys are being total dicks to Tsar and it's not even constructive. I thought some of you were good posters too. By no means should Cornfed be banned because he's right on the money most of the time. I say that as a minority. Traditional societies follow the same rough guidelines no matter how far removed the cultures being compared. Civilizations rise through the same processes no matter the people being spoken of. It's absurd to think culture can explain all mental differences between races. Skin color is just perception? Bullshit. So even as a minority I find myself a lot closer to his line of thought. It'd be a big loss to this forum if he were banned.

S_Parc's right about how bad American culture is and it is certainly very pervasive, especially in the North East. The whole point of Happier Abroad is based on that truth, which we can see in Winston's own story linked to on the main page.

Tsar's post about his middle/high school experiences sound remarkably like my own. I also dropped out of college for a few years and just recently went back. But what I think is unfortunate for Tsar is that I've developed better coping mechanisms. Objectively, my life is even worse now than it was as a teenager. That's due to my parents divorcing, itself a sign of failed race relations. I'm not even technically opposed to race mixing, but Cornfed's still right about a hell of a lot. But I've developed coping mechanisms to deal with it and now I'm going to Shanghai for two months next week.

How am I paying for it? My grandfather, my mother's father, left me money when he died. My uncle went back to a village in China and picked out a woman to marry and has spent his whole life in my grandparent's household. It wasn't coddling because he's been building houses the whole time. My uncle and grandfather are respectable men who followed extremely traditional paths.

My father? Well he stole some of the money my grandfather left me and with divorce and an extra household he's made our whole family poorer. I was raised to be outcast from both sides of my family; civility is not love. That's what race mixing means to me. I'm not against it, but far too often it's the result of weakling shitheads like my father who believe in nothing. Cornfed's damn right.

I get angry thinking about it, but I'm able to handle it far better than I would have as a teenager. If all the shit going on in my life happened when I was a teenager I would've probably killed myself. But here I am taking he equivalent of two college semesters in just one term, I have no insecurity about my ability to get girls and I'm actually going abroad. On the verge of success.

So here I see Tsar as someone who's had an extremely similar life to mine, but for whatever reason wasn't able to develop the same coping mechanisms. What do most people here do? Shit on him. Call Cornfed a dirty racist or whatever, but at least he's supporting Tsar. And I can thank Matty for sticking up for my pal too. But what most of you guys are doing isn't even tough love - it's just unconstructive criticism. Swear to god, you guys are driving out good members here and are showing no sympathy for someone who's basically a representation of why Happier Abroad exists. It's like you want Tsar to become a school shooter instead of helping him. And I thought HA helped me succeed; I'm leaving in a week. Why not actually help Tsar? Scum, the lot a'ya.

TL; DR I thought Happier Abroad was a support system, but people are being jerks to my friend.

I don't ever think I had a problem wit you ever. I like how you put yourself on Front Street and in that you don't care what people say. I like realness like that. You seem alright in my book.

[Cornfed]

The bad experiences are my past. A person that has experienced what I did could never turn out to be the typical modern guy.

I think everyone here needs to look at the following pie chart, especially the OP:

You went out of college into a career and are so so lucky. You should be falling down on your knees on a daily basis to praise your luck. Instead, you make yourself feel just that little bit better out of pure spite to insult those not so lucky. You are scum. Pure scum. The idea is to plan on us never meeting.

[eurobrat]

The bad experiences are my past. A person that has experienced what I did could never turn out to be the typical modern guy.

I think everyone here needs to look at the following pie chart, especially the OP:

You went out of college into a career and are so so lucky. You should be falling down on your knees on a daily basis to praise your luck. Instead, you make yourself feel just that little bit better out of pure spite to insult those not so lucky. You are scum. Pure scum. The idea is to plan on us never meeting.

LOL! If I'm scum, than what are you the Jesus Christ reincarnated? And I had never planned on meeting you anyways.

Why do you assume it's luck and not hard work? Or maybe 90% hard work and 10% luck? I'm not trying to boost my morale I'm trying to awaken and save those who fall a victim to themselves.

[Cornfed]

Why do you assume it's luck and not hard work? Or maybe 90% hard work and 10% luck?

Dude, I know plenty of people who piss away more hard work in the morning than you could contemplate who are unemployed. Whole regions such as in the Appalachia have gone from proud, independent mountain men to crackheads on welfare in less than a decade. And you, who are handed a career and are so lucky, choose to insult them. So you worked hard. You probably didn't really, but don't you get it? - we all work hard. We are all driven. We all strive to do whatever. You are nothing special. The system could have chosen someone else for your job and could choose someone else tomorrow. You are lucky, yet instead of acknowledging your luck you would rather delusional aggrandize yourself at others’ expense. You are a really horrible person.

[eurobrat]

Why do you assume it's luck and not hard work? Or maybe 90% hard work and 10% luck?

Dude, I know plenty of people who piss away more hard work in the morning than you could contemplate who are unemployed. Whole regions such as in the Appalachia have gone from proud, independent mountain men to crackheads on welfare in less than a decade. And you, who are handed a career and are so lucky, choose to insult them. So you worked hard. You probably didn't really, but don't you get it? - we all work hard. We are all driven. We all strive to do whatever. You are nothing special. The system could have chosen someone else for your job and could choose someone else tomorrow. You are lucky, yet instead of acknowledging your luck you would rather delusional aggrandize yourself at others’ expense. You are a really horrible person.

What the hell are you talking abut? I have been unemployed for long periods just like everyone else. At the same time I didn't sit around and mope about it. I got out there, tried new things and reinvented myself which has been a method for me that has been proven to work.

Yea sure you could say I have been lucky but the luck came after I was motivated and made changes to my life.

[fschmidt]

After analyzing society, civilization, movies, history, and culture I came to that conclusion. Almost every culture values a virgin girl. I know that all European, Asian, Indian, Arabian, and Jewish civilizations valued virgin girls and that virgin girls were the most prized. Marrying any girl other than a virgin was considered shameful and brought dishonor to a man.

This is sounding like a novelization of the world, as oppose to the world as it is.

Read "Sex and Culture" by Unwin and you will see that Tsar is right.

[S_Parc]

Give yourself something of a routine if you haven't already. Work out or exercise twice or thrice a week. Socialize with people at least once a week. Do push-ups in your room, sit-ups, eat healthy, and write during certain designated hours. I assure you such personal development and creativity will already do wonders for your state of mind and your ultimate success in achieving your goals.

Good luck, Tsar! I know you can do this. Just keep moving. The train of life is moving too, you can still catch it if you take a good sprint!

Now this is what I'm talking about

What you've just outlined above is how I'd escaped from my dysfunctional family of birth.

[abcdavid01]

Give yourself something of a routine if you haven't already. Work out or exercise twice or thrice a week. Socialize with people at least once a week. Do push-ups in your room, sit-ups, eat healthy, and write during certain designated hours. I assure you such personal development and creativity will already do wonders for your state of mind and your ultimate success in achieving your goals.

Good luck, Tsar! I know you can do this. Just keep moving. The train of life is moving too, you can still catch it if you take a good sprint!

Now this is what I'm talking about

What you've just outlined above is how I'd escaped from my dysfunctional family of birth.

I'd add that even if you don't produce much, make it a point to learn. In my time off from college I didn't produce much, but I did read a whole lot, fiction and non-fiction. All that reading influenced the way I look at the world now. I needed it because my parents gave me no direction in life. I tried to be a dutiful son and look at my father for inspiration, but ultimately he's just a hedonist. I spent far too long doing that, but once I began intensive studying I really shaped my personality. Even being on HA helped, so I think it'd be horrible if Cornfed were banned or people weren't sympathetic to Tsar. So even if you don't physically produce, sharpen the mind. Eventually you read enough of a subject that it has diminishing returns and that's when you know you've learned enough about it and it's time to move on.

But the idea of sprinting reminds me of something I read during those days of learning. My favorite author is Haruki Murakami, though I admit some of his works can be repetitive. A few years ago he wrote a semi-autobiography called What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. He explained that he runs marathons and every day he'll get up really early to practice running before stopping at home to write his novels. So that kind of creative energy is holistic. Your whole life has to change.