The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

[newlifeinphilippines]

Wrong. its called dating sites. Even a shy awkward guy like me used them to get girls. Look at my scammer milf girl she was hotter than any girl most foreigners get on average. I even had a nurse girl who i screwed up cause i had a girlfriend sort of it was complicated but she was white skinned a registered nurse graduate and very pretty she was better than any girl ive seen a foreigner get on this forum combined. I probably could ahve layed her had i played my cards right and not been so involved with the gf and all the drama and attachment to her. She came to my hotel outside to talk a month after i arrived and i had her walking away in tears cause i rejected her right on the spot to go back to my gf but she came to see me again later when i talked to her again months down the road.

[globe-trotter]

Again, you're a fool. You don't KNOW if they are or aren't approachable because you did not approach them. You have an issue approaching women? Address that. Get psychological help, waste your money on shrink after shrink... OR you go to a country where women are easier to talk to, and more likely to say yes, and you try talking to them there. The best way to get over this fear, is to do it! You are afraid a girl might say no? Maybe it is your fear of rejection and emberassment that causes you not to approach any. But c'mon, man! You are forty five years old for God's sake! You can figure these things out, it's common knowledge.

I would 'know' because their facial expressions and general demeanor were not inviting. It also didn't help to have several unreciprocated smiles. That's a far cry from what people claim Philippine women are like, wouldn't you say? I didn't need to travel to the other side of the world to get this; I can get it right here in the States.

Also, I have gotten help for my issues in the past. For years, in fact. You tend to forget how old I am (45), and the fact that I've been through many things in life. Don't assume.

[newlifeinphilippines]

dating sites is what you should use. Im socially awkward and dont even approach women in philippines who gave me hints of liking and some were cute. I think in the future though ill try to utilize day game more cause dating sites are a huge waste and most women have an agenda. It also helps if you try to enjoy the country like hammanta does where he just tries to sightsee etc. If you make it all about womne you will become like a sexpat in his hotel and thats not what you really want to wind up as cause then you get false expectations and make women your only focus. Philippines is kind of boring place to visit though and youll run out of money constantly eating out. maybe ill have to just visit other countries just for a change of pace.

[globe-trotter]

dating sites is what you should use. Im socially awkward and dont even approach women in philippines who gave me hints of liking and some were cute. I think in the future though ill try to utilize day game more cause dating sites are a huge waste and most women have an agenda. It also helps if you try to enjoy the country like hammanta does where he just tries to sightsee etc. If you make it all about womne you will become like a sexpat in his hotel and thats not what you really want to wind up as cause then you get false expectations and make women your only focus. Philippines is kind of boring place to visit though and youll run out of money constantly eating out. maybe ill have to just visit other countries just for a change of pace.

Oh, yes, I agree about the sightseeing. In fact, during the day, that's what I did in the Philippines. I also went to Japan for 4 days of sightseeing and enjoyment that wasn't related to women.

[newlifeinphilippines]

dating sites is what you should use. Im socially awkward and dont even approach women in philippines who gave me hints of liking and some were cute. I think in the future though ill try to utilize day game more cause dating sites are a huge waste and most women have an agenda. It also helps if you try to enjoy the country like hammanta does where he just tries to sightsee etc. If you make it all about womne you will become like a sexpat in his hotel and thats not what you really want to wind up as cause then you get false expectations and make women your only focus. Philippines is kind of boring place to visit though and youll run out of money constantly eating out. maybe ill have to just visit other countries just for a change of pace.

Oh, yes, I agree about the sightseeing. In fact, during the day, that's what I did in the Philippines. I also went to Japan for 4 days of sightseeing and enjoyment that wasn't related to women.

the thing is though you only spent 8 days and you were constantly on the move. If your visiting countries and constantly on the move i think dating sites will help cause there might be a girl willing to meet you as a tourist guide friend to help show you around and who knows maybe more. Thats my plan next time is to visit a country other than philippines and maybe more than one and just utilize dating sites a bit to build connections. maybe also incorporate socialization and going to churches and things like that. Id like to go asia again but for other reasons besides just women. Im not sure how successful that strategy will be for me so im in no hurry to go to asia cause my money is precious and i can't afford to blow it on some dream.

[davewe]

....which proves my point that the Philippines will not be a p***y paradise for shy guys like me. It may be for outgoing guys who 'game', but certainly not for socially awkward types, like me.

There is a difference between being a "shy guy" or "extremely shy and socially awkward to the point that you are unable to talk to a single foreign girl during an eight day stay abroad". I know many guys who are shy, not very outgoing, and plenty of them have girlfriends and wives. Many men who are otherwise shy around women, have foreign brides and are quite happy with them. Being shy and getting women are not mutually exclusive. But even when you are shy, you can still talk to people.

Guys like you can get women too... IF they talk to said women first. You really must have autism. Normal human interaction is clearly lost on you. Don't you realize how ridiculous the things you are saying are? How ridiculous your ideas were? With all due respect, but you have "socially handicapped" written all over you.

MZ - I can understand your frustration and have felt it several times. Here we have discovered a place with some fine, sweet and sexy women, and find that those women are potentially available to us, even those of us who are not handsome, young, rich or famous. And what we want to do is tell our friends, tell our relatives, hell we want to tell complete strangers to check it out.

So what happens? People don't listen, they don't believe, they make up excuses about why you had success but they can't. And even if, like the OP, they decide to visit, their methodology is so flawed they are incapable of discovering what you discovered. Yes, it's frustrating - but it's inevitable. Most people, even most lonely Westerners will never visit a place like the Philippines, and those few who do will not all be able to see it as we do.

There's a reason that one of the oldest clichés is "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." You will never be able to get the OP to drink the water. Fortunately a few will. An example:

I work in cubicle land. A week ago the guy in literally the cube next to me, who I don't know at all (other than his name) pops his head into my cube and says, "I've been reading your blog and really like it." I thank him profusely and then he continues, "I'm married to a Filipina - 13 years." We start talking about our experiences, how he met her, where she's from, etc. The experiences are similar.

There are plenty of us out there who have been able to drink the water, but millions who never will. You can lead people, offer advise and guidance, but ultimately it's up to them to drink.

[globe-trotter]

This op seems to have had that plan event though he didn't use any dating sites and didn't even pursue girls in the bar yet went there and stuck to the most touristy spots of all in a mere 8 day vacation. This was probably the biggest fail plan in the history of philippines.

I actually went far away from the tourist sites. I went all over the 4 cities I visited.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

This op seems to have had that plan event though he didn't use any dating sites and didn't even pursue girls in the bar yet went there and stuck to the most touristy spots of all in a mere 8 day vacation. This was probably the biggest fail plan in the history of philippines.

I actually went far away from the tourist sites. I went all over the 4 cities I visited.

I bet you had the time of your life. Tourist sites are awful. #ruleofthumb stop hanging out in capital cities; they have the most American influence. T3 and T4 cities/towns work well for me!!!!

[newlifeinphilippines]

This op seems to have had that plan event though he didn't use any dating sites and didn't even pursue girls in the bar yet went there and stuck to the most touristy spots of all in a mere 8 day vacation. This was probably the biggest fail plan in the history of philippines.

I actually went far away from the tourist sites. I went all over the 4 cities I visited.

angeles and olangapo (I haven't been there but if i understand it) are extremely tourist oriented cities. So it doesn't matter if you go all over. Manila is a large metro area where the women are a bit more upscale. If you go to the slums or walk around in poorer parts im sure you would have done well though otherwise they are the most uptight of all the women in philippine. But also manila women have seen foreigners more often than other parts of philippines.


With that said though angeles the girls were always smily and cute and the women are very sociable. Perhaps that is the place to find a girlfriend as long as shes not a prostitute because they seem more opent o foreigners. Of all the cities i been to angeles women seem to be the most smiley and flirtateous and normal acting. The filipina women in other parts are more reserved and will take some initiation on your part. the thing that scares me about angeles though is if a girl starts dating you then once shes turned foreigner who knows if she will then start dating other foreigners or even work the bar. its a slipper slope thats why i never looked for a girlfriend there. unless she is a virgin you wont kn ow if she is even a previous freelancer or bargirl.


maybe the next time i stay in philippines ill fly out to other countries for a change of pace. In other words use it as a hub to get to other countries. Unless your a sexpat for months staying in philippines in the big city gets old real quick if your just staying in one city/hotel your whole stay for weeks and weeks especially if its away from beaches or forests. Thats why im thinking if i do go again ill just move around and hit up many locations . That was a mistake i made in the past is settling for one girl and one location. You get in a rut and its more like marriage than a vacation but its like a marriage with a girl who is not good enough to marry.

[Mr Natural]

a girl who is not good enough to marry.

Pardon me for being rude here, but this made me laugh. Frankly, judging simply from your numerous posts here I get the impression there will be no girl in the entire world good enough for you.

[lasttry]

I want to re-iterate two parts of my earlier advice. First, that the OP should not go to foreign countries until he gets his psychological "issues" straightened out, because a new culture just complicates things too much. Second, that he take up partner dancing (salsa better for younger women, Argentine tango and ballroom better for middle-aged and above, though these are just guidelines).

Back when I was living in San Francisco (which is where I first tested what it felt like to put a dildo up my ass, since that was the first city I had lived in where dildos were widely available, previously I lived in the sexually conservative former slave states), I did a lot of salsa and tango dancing. I cannot tell you how many women actually start humping my leg during dancing. I still had to convert these prospects to actual girlfriends by talking to them, but they certainly made things easy. Now granted, I was younger then (late 30's versus mid-50's now) and clean-shaven versus close-cropped beard now, but I don't think I was that much better looking then. It is also true that I had dressier clothes than now and a big fancy apartment on Nob Hill, my own business which was doing very well, and other stuff that attracts women, but they didn't know this at the time they started humping my leg other than the clothes, and really I doubt it was the clothes, contrary to what some PUA twit might say. Bottom line, there is something about partner dancing that makes women quite sexually aggressive, if you are at all decent-looking and well-groomed, even in the United States. (Though maybe things have changed in the past 15 years so that partner dancing in San Francisco and other big cities is no longer like it used to be.) You still have to talk to them, but they will make it very, very easy. I don't have a huge notch count, mainly because once I find a decent sex partner I stick with her until she drives me off, but I could have a had a huge notch count if I were into that sort of thing, all from partner dancing.

[newlifeinphilippines]

I dont see how someone is gonna get their psychological effects fixed in america. Going to a psychologist or sitting at home in america aint gonna fix anything. Although i have to admit i been going to church etc and that is helping me but im still have those personality querks.

[lasttry]

I didn't say stay at home or visit the shrink. I advised him to take up partner dancing. That might do wonders for him. He could also continue to post in this forum and get free advice, probably as good as from a shrink.

Like everyone else, I think the "bloating" is either purely in his head, or else it's real (visible to other people) but caused by what is going on in his head. (Diarrhea before final exams due to nervousness is real but caused by what is in the head, namely the nervousness.) If so, then he can just as well work on that issue at home as overseas.

I don't think the OP is retired or can work from anywhere. So necessarily any overseas trip is going to be for a limited time, and that puts a huge amount of pressure on him, which is not good given all his issues.

[newlifeinphilippines]

I didn't say stay at home or visit the shrink. I advised him to take up partner dancing. That might do wonders for him. He could also continue to post in this forum and get free advice, probably as good as from a shrink.

Like everyone else, I think the "bloating" is either purely in his head, or else it's real (visible to other people) but caused by what is going on in his head. (Diarrhea before final exams due to nervousness is real but caused by what is in the head, namely the nervousness.) If so, then he can just as well work on that issue at home as overseas.

I don't think the OP is retired or can work from anywhere. So necessarily any overseas trip is going to be for a limited time, and that puts a huge amount of pressure on him, which is not good given all his issues.

if you can't stay overseas for months your wasting your time anyways so he should just forget it. none of these girls want a long distance relationship. they will screw a filipino or look for a foreigner who will while your at home jerking off with your daily chats from 10,000 miles away. I dont care how nice a girl is she would be stupid to wait around for you as she is getting old and her clock is ticking.

[globe-trotter]

I dont see how someone is gonna get their psychological effects fixed in america. Going to a psychologist or sitting at home in america aint gonna fix anything. Although i have to admit i been going to church etc and that is helping me but im still have those personality querks.

Yes, I agree. I might have to chose yet another foreign country and try again. I might do Colombia in April for 1 week. It's relatively close to where I live, and the women are supposed to be hot. I'll have to do some research. We'll see.